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mrsclaus

have i done enough?

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When I was young, I had a problem with masturbation. I didn't view pornagraphy, but definitely had a problem. I never told a bishop about it and now, 20 years later, am suddenly wondering if I need to. I have lead a clean, pure life as an active member of the church since then and have not had problems with it since I got married. Is this something that still needs to be confessed? I never even considered confessing at the time because it seemed like a personal weakness. Just wondering if prayer and stopping are enough???

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Wow, I'm not sure anyone can really answer that for you.

I believe that given there's been a lot of time pass, and no re-occurrence, you may not need to. But if it's eating you up inside, it may help to confess to your Bishop. But maybe this is something to be discussed with your husband. Maybe he can give some advice? If you're not comfortable with that, then a talk with the Bishop can help you clear your mind and conscience. Definitely pray about it and see what the Lord has to say.

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Wise counsel I once received was that if you are unsure whether or not it is necessary to tell the bishop, it probably is necessary. If it's bugging you now, 20 years after you've already stopped, you should probably tell your bishop. I doubt your repentance process with him will be very lengthy.

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Wise counsel I once received was that if you are unsure whether or not it is necessary to tell the bishop, it probably is necessary. If it's bugging you now, 20 years after you've already stopped, you should probably tell your bishop. I doubt your repentance process with him will be very lengthy.

It's probably not even going to change anything you're doing now.

So, basically, talking to the bishop would be the "Cast your burdens upon Me, those who are heavily laden." thing that you are needing - to clear your conscience and put that whole thing behind you.

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It sounds as if the Holy Spirit is prompting you to get it cleaned up. It could be blocking you from moving on spiritually to the next level. Sounds like you're going through the refiners fire and being made more pure?

My Bishop from many years ago would tell those who came to him with old sins that they already paid the price by not receiving all the blessings they could have received. They were forgiven and there was no repentance process except confession to the Bishop. Not saying this is what YOUR Bishop will say or do, but it might go something like that.

My personal feeling is old sin or not, it still needs to be confessed.

Just my thoughts and experience. Good luck!

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I have a question...say I have done this (mb) here and there. I realize that I need to talk to the bishop, but I seriously CANNOT say this to him. It was hard enough talking with my husband about it (another story). I can't imagine sitting there with those words coming out of my mouth to that man. It has to do with this particular person. He creeps me and many other ladies out. He looks at you wierd, talks all quiet, just isn't really someone I can go to. Interviews are hard enough to get through.

I just realized through these posts recently that mb is a problem needing to go to the bishop about, and I am horrified that I did a temple interview and didn't even think this was needed to confess. Really, I thought it wasn't a good thing, but something for a husband and wife to work out if it isn't an addiction. You don't have to flame me for this, I honestly was under that impression until recently.

Really, am completely MORTIFIED at the thought of sitting there alone in a room with another man and saying this to him. I am blushing right now thinking about it!

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Really, am completely MORTIFIED at the thought of sitting there alone in a room with another man and saying this to him. I am blushing right now thinking about it!

You would be HORRIFIED of the things that are confessed to Bishops.

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I just realized through these posts recently that mb is a problem needing to go to the bishop about, and I am horrified that I did a temple interview and didn't even think this was needed to confess. Really, I thought it wasn't a good thing, but something for a husband and wife to work out if it isn't an addiction.

Sweetiepie--I am in the same boat. All these years and temple interviews I have gone through, and until last week, I never even considered this was something to discuss with a bishop. I guess you learn as you go! I am grateful for a father in heaven who loves me enough to nudge me to take care of the past, even after 20 years!

I am grateful to everyone for your thoughts and advice! It's much easier to do the right thing when you have a little confirmation that you ARE doing the right thing!!!!

I agree with you, though, sweetiepie...this isn't going to be easy!

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When I was young, I had a problem with masturbation. I didn't view pornagraphy, but definitely had a problem. I never told a bishop about it and now, 20 years later, am suddenly wondering if I need to. I have lead a clean, pure life as an active member of the church since then and have not had problems with it since I got married. Is this something that still needs to be confessed? I never even considered confessing at the time because it seemed like a personal weakness. Just wondering if prayer and stopping are enough???

I think talking to your bishop, praying, and discussing with your husband are great ideas- but sometimes, you need to use your own discretion.

I don't think you need to keep punishing yourself for something you did 20 years ago, that you repented of, and don't have a problem with now. If you're worried about something- this doesn't always mean that you've done something wrong, it could mean that you need to forgive yourself and just move on.

Whatever you end up doing- don't let fear be the deciding factor. Do what you feel is right, not what's easy.

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Wise counsel I once received was that if you are unsure whether or not it is necessary to tell the bishop, it probably is necessary.

The problem is that the people who need that sort of counsel don't care, and the people who care do not need it. It afflicts the afflicted and comforts the comfortable, instead of the other way around.

Mrsclaus, whatever you decide to do, please post back here to say how it went. I hope you can let go of your guilt very soon.

Edited by Feathertail

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Just thought I'd update you all and thank you for all your advice. I really needed to hear what all of you said in order to feel confident in my decision.

I decided to go ahead and talk with the Bishop today. I decided that if I was still feeling the pain of my actions, that I needed to take that final step, and talk to the Bishop.

I feel like a ton of bricks has been taken off my shoulders. The Bishop said that if you feel prompted to tell him about something, even if it seems like you shouldn't need to, then just to talk to him. He said that the reason confession is so powerful and necessary in the repentance process is that it shows humility and a willingness to do all that is necessary to make things right with the Lord.

I finally feel at peace about my past! I no longer feel pain at the memory of my past. I am amazed and so grateful for the power of the atonement. I truly did cast my burden on the Lord and I don't need to feel horrible guilt every time of I remember.

Today as we sang songs for our Christmas program in sacrament meeting, the words had so much more meaning. We really can feel peace when things in our lives are right with the Lord!

Thanks again everyone!!

Edited by mrsclaus

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Sweetiepie--I tried to accept your friend request but it keeps telling me to become a member. I thought I was. Do some people pay for a membership here? I am very limited in what I can do on this website because every time I click to chat or send a message or add a friend, it directs me to log in. But I am already logged in. Am I doing something wrong here???

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