beefche Posted February 17, 2011 Report Posted February 17, 2011 As promised, please feel free to offer any advice you feel is necessary. I'm new to this and need all the help I can get.Jenamarie said:I'd say when you're setting your wedding budget I'd prioritize it like this:1. Photographer2. Dress3. Cake4. Flowers (and consider using silk flowers! My favorite momento from my wedding is my silk bouquet and the vase we bought for it on our honeymoon)It's worth the money to hire a decent photographer. Get as good a quality photographer as you can get for your money. The dress will yellow and the cake will get eaten, but your pictures are forever! Ask around and check out their blogs if they have one (most do nowadays, so you can check out their portfoloios)What did ya'll do for a reception? I want something nice, but we do need to be concerned about budget. If it is possible I would LOVE to not have a reception at the church....I just don't like the thought of having my reception in a gym. But, because of money, we may need to do that. Any advice?Also, we are getting married in the temple, but my family are non-members. Since they feel hurt about not being able to attend the sealing, we will likely have some kind of ceremony. Any advice on what you did/would like to see for a ceremony after a sealing? Quote
Jenamarie Posted February 17, 2011 Report Posted February 17, 2011 We had my reception in my parents' backyard. Our wedding was in May, and we had green and yellow gingham table clothes with tin watering cans filled with silk daisies and tied around with yellow and green ribbon for center pieces (the tables were borrowed from the chapel). Food was indoors (cake and punch) and people dished up their plates then went outdoors to eat. We didn't have dancing, but did do the usual bouquet toss/garter toss, and first dance on the patio. If your family or someone you know has a nice backyard that you could use you could try that. You could even have it set up so that it was the location of both the after-ceremony AND the reception. Rent a pretty arbor or something to hold the ceremony under, then kick off the party once it's done. :) Quote
slamjet Posted February 17, 2011 Report Posted February 17, 2011 Get a bunch of single use cameras, put it in a bowl with a box to drop them in when the wedding/reception is over. Have your guests take all kinds of pictures. Quote
Wingnut Posted February 17, 2011 Report Posted February 17, 2011 Get a bunch of single use cameras, put it in a bowl with a box to drop them in when the wedding/reception is over. Have your guests take all kinds of pictures.When you get them developed, pay the extra to get the digital images on CD, not just prints.The only flowers in my wedding were my bouquet, boutineers for the father's (My DH hates bouts and didn't wear one), and some small silk arrangements on the tables at the reception. Less than $100 for all of it.Flowers are not the be-all, end-all of a wedding. In my case, flowers just aren't my thing, so I was more than happy to forgo the expense, other than the basics.I also didn't have a wedding party, which saved a LOT of stress and expense. I know that isn't for everybody, but I was in Utah, planning a wedding in California, and since bridal parties in LDS weddings are really just there to look nice in pictures (they play ZERO roll in a Sealing ceremony), I decided to forgo the tradition. Probably my favorite decision of the entire wedding. :)A wedding party is a bit irrelevant with a temple wedding. I chose to not have one, but part of that was that standing in a receiving line was a major dealbreaker for my husband. I didn't have a preference either way on a receiving line, so I was happy to not have one. I understand that when most of your family are non-members, however, traditional roles carry a little more importance to them.Where you're planning a spring or summer wedding, you'll have more flexibility with location. Go outdoors if you can -- let nature be your decor.My husband and I lived 3.5 hours apart while we dated, and our temple was about halfway between us -- 1:45 for him, and 2:15 for me. We married on a Wednesday, with our parents and his sister in the temple, and younger siblings outside. Ten days later (on a Friday), we had the "big" reception near my parents' home. A week after that, we had another reception near his parents' home. I got to wear my dress three times, which was lots of fun -- I highly recommend it. (*money-saving tip ahead*) Instead of renting a tux, my in-laws bought my husband a brand new three-piece suit, and his mom made a tuxedo vest and bowtie for the occasions.One thing I liked about that scheduling was that it allowed us to focus on the temple ceremony and its simplicity. We were sealed, did pictures outside, then we all drove to a fancy restaurant downtown. After an early dinner, my husband and I left on our honeymoon. I liked having the reception and party and mayhem separate. Plus, like I said, I got to wear my dress three times. My husband and I are also both returned missionaries, so the temple wasn't a new and overwhelming experience for either of us at that point.One thing I didn't like was that it dragged on for two-and-a-half weeks before we felt like we could actually settle in and just be together. It wasn't a major drawback, though. I would definitely recommend getting married either the day before or the day after (or just a different day than) the reception day, instead of dealing with travel and details and everything on the big day. Quote
beefche Posted February 17, 2011 Author Report Posted February 17, 2011 What book or magazine would ya'll recommend as a guide to the planning a wedding process? I need advice on what to think about--invitations, cake, flowers, etc. Quote
Wingnut Posted February 17, 2011 Report Posted February 17, 2011 I didn't use any books. I have a friend who just finished designing a logo for my photography business (not the one I was going to recommend for you), who also does wedding invitations. She is in her last semester at school and will be graduating with a degree in business and graphic design. She did her own wedding invitations and is currently working on at least two others. She was a delight to work with and her prices were very reasonable (for branding, anyway, and starting from scratch). Let me know if you want her info. She has a blog, too, if you're interested in looking at some of her work. For choosing my own invitations, I perused lots and lots of books at Hallmark and other paper stores (Papyrus, for example). After three different chains, I quickly learned that they pretty much all have the same books. Most designs in those giant portfolios are basic ones that can be altered slightly for your personal tastes. Quote
Nelly Posted February 17, 2011 Report Posted February 17, 2011 This lady that I would babysit for, she told me that you go for what you want to spend the most money on. Like if it was your dress, photography, flowers, or whatever.. and then simplify the rest to make it decent and affordable. I've been planning since I've gotten engaged around Christmas time, and I love theknot.com. It gives you a lot of things to work with! Such as a budget planner, a notebook to keep pictures, vendors, etc,etc together. I also have many blogs I like to look at such as polkadotbride.com, and marryyoume.com. If you don't want to get married in the Church's gym, which I can understand I really don't want to either, I found a place that I can rent for $100 an hour.. which is a really nice place. But I live in Florida, so find a place that you might like to have it at and if you can have the ring ceremony there as well. To really find out a budget you need to make a guest list and who's all contributing so you can really plan on how much you want to spend on everything. Then work from there. Smaller weddings you're more likely to be able to make it look nicer without breaking the bank. I have a lot of problems with planning since me and my fiance live like 5000 miles away. So he doesn't have to deal with much of the stress. Lucky him! Find people around your ward that's really good at photography, and might get you a great deal, or someone that decorates cakes for a living or something.. It's good to have connections within a work to make things better and easier. All the best, and congrats :) xxx Quote
Guest Posted February 17, 2011 Report Posted February 17, 2011 (edited) I agree with Wing - wedding magazines are like beauty magazines - it only makes you feel ugly. :) I eloped so I can't give you personal advice from experience. Or maybe I can... My entire wedding was $160 (between my husband and I, we made almost 6 figures then). $80 for the license, $20 for the justice and the fancy alcove. $60 for the pizza at the pizza hut right next to the smelly creek that my husband proposed to me on (I posted a story on it on one of the threads). Oh, and my husband spent about $200 on a Kay-special ring with the smallest-stones-that-don't-look-cheesy he can find (did I tell you I'm not big on jewelry?). And $800 on the his-and-hers wedding ring complete with our names and the date etched on the rings. 13 years later, we look back on that day and we still feel warm and fuzzy all over. My sister had the big Catholic shabang. Cost my dad $20K - and that was in the Philippines where a catered plate cost a couple bucks! The invitations were "scrolls" complete with carved wood dowels and antique-looking parchment. Cost and arm and a leg just for those! There were over 400 people in the reception hall and everybody got a "token" - a catholic rosary in a capiz shell heart container. Another arm and leg. Her wedding dress was hand-embroidered from veil to train and part of the wedding "attire" were the dresses for the bridesmaids, maid-of-honor, flower girls, both mothers, and all the barong-tagalogs of all the males in the wedding party - all specially hand-crafted. Big bucks. The one and only thing I drool over - 12 years later (she got married a year after I did) - is the professional wedding album and video. It would have been really cool to have a video of my dearest friends having a blast at Pizza Hut! I helped my brother-in-law with his wedding - he got married a few months after I did. He had a temple wedding. The temple was 2 hours away. He spent a little bit on renting a white tux. My mother-in-law made the wedding/temple dress. It was gorgeous. They held the reception at the stake center basketball court. I prepared all the food (all Filipino food at an American reception! Hah!), my mother-in-law made the cake, and we all helped decorate the basketball court so it looks cool. It was a really simple affair, with the couple driving straight from the temple (another 2 hours) to the reception hall where we had dinner, some dancing (they hired a DJ), a ring-exchange thing, a few talks from the teary-eyed fathers and talking all night long. It didn't cost much at all with about 60 people in attendance. We did the same thing over a year later when my other brother-in-law got married - except they held it at the ward building because it was closer to everybody and she bought her dress. My brother had a big bash wedding (I couldn't attend because it was in the Philippines and I was at the hospital delivering a baby) that cost more than my sister's. The lesson I learned from all these. The big fancy wedding is more for the mothers than the couple. The solemnity of the event is the same whether it cost $160 or $30K. The good thing about $160 is that we had all the money to spend on a honeymoon to the Philippines and to buy a house. The good thing about $30K is that the pictures look much better when the dresses/make-up/flowers are all pretty. If I were to do it over - and my family would be in attendance - I would hold the reception just like my son's baptism - we rented a beach house where my son got baptized at the beach and we had the party at the beach house balcony overlooking the ocean and a lot of the guests staying overnight. That was super awesome. Anyway - the wedding should be something memorable. Something that you can look back on and get warm fuzzy. In an LDS wedding - all that happens naturally when you say your vows in the sanctity of the Temple. Cost = Free. Edited February 17, 2011 by anatess Quote
Dravin Posted February 17, 2011 Report Posted February 17, 2011 (edited) We have one of the receptions planned. Or at least as planned as can be without date and a guest list. Of course she's tired so who knows if she's aware of what she just said sounds fine. Edited February 17, 2011 by Dravin Quote
slamjet Posted February 17, 2011 Report Posted February 17, 2011 Advice to Dravin: Stay out of the planning. It's always a little girls dream of having that dream wedding. That dream never goes away. Just do what you're told and keep your head down. Good practice for after the celebrations. Quote
Dravin Posted February 17, 2011 Report Posted February 17, 2011 Advice to Dravin: Stay out of the planning. It's always a little girls dream of having that dream wedding. That dream never goes away. Just do what you're told and keep your head down. Good practice for after the celebrations.I told her to give me tasks. She said as I live in Utah she'd need to lean on me for that reception. It's a less formal one (the wedding like one is for her side of the country), more open house like (though not quite). Quote
beefche Posted February 17, 2011 Author Report Posted February 17, 2011 We have one of the receptions planned. Or at least as planned as can be without date and a guest list. Of course she's tied so who knows if she's aware of what she just said sounds fine. Dravin! You don't need to be sharing personal things online..... Quote
Dravin Posted February 17, 2011 Report Posted February 17, 2011 Dravin! You don't need to be sharing personal things online.....Everyone knows we're tying the knot. Quote
slamjet Posted February 17, 2011 Report Posted February 17, 2011 Dravin! You don't need to be sharing personal things online.....Oh PLEASE!!! Images are JUST NOT WANTED!!! :eek: Quote
beefche Posted February 17, 2011 Author Report Posted February 17, 2011 Slam, you are the one that posted the pic of the leash and dominatrix.... Quote
slamjet Posted February 17, 2011 Report Posted February 17, 2011 Slam, you are the one that posted the pic of the leash and dominatrix....No, I'm the one who posted the leash that Dravin will be wearing signifying the loss of independence, and the whip signifying the loss of free agency :D Quote
beefche Posted February 17, 2011 Author Report Posted February 17, 2011 He is free to independently do whatever I tell him to do..... Quote
slamjet Posted February 17, 2011 Report Posted February 17, 2011 the poor, poor man. Soon to be the poor, poor little man Quote
Guest Posted February 17, 2011 Report Posted February 17, 2011 (edited) Okay... this one is Marriage advice - not wedding one. (Nothing new - I've said this here before lots of times). Love is not just a feeling. It is a decision. So, from now until 11/11/2011 (I'm hoping that would be your wedding date - coz it just sounds too cool ), both of you will have to decide to stick with each other through thick or thin and everything in between. That means - make doubly and triply sure you know who you are marrying and that you can accept EVERYTHING about the person including the changes that would happen as you grow as old as Pam... the first test is how both of you handle the stress of a wedding. Know that your intended spouse may not be the best fish out there on the ocean - but that he/she is the best because you chose him/her for you. So that, if ever some better person comes along you can look him/her in the eye and say, "Wow, you're really one great person and you're going to make someone really happy. But, you're not for me, because I already have my special somebody.". And when some major PMS comes along, you can say, "Wow - that girl, she's amazingly awesome when she's ticked off!" (as in, always look for the salvageable positive in every situation). And lastly - Love is not about you. It is about the other person. That person's happiness is what will make you happy - not the other way around. And like any other advice on this forum - it's only worth what you paid for it. Nothing. YEAY! I feel like Yoda - spewing out fancy mind-boggling statements. Except with something that passes for proper grammar. Edited February 17, 2011 by anatess Quote
slamjet Posted February 17, 2011 Report Posted February 17, 2011 YEAY! I feel like Yoda...Be still my geeky heart. Quote
Guest Posted February 17, 2011 Report Posted February 17, 2011 Be still my geeky heart.If you say you like Drizzt too, I'm going to flip!There is no word in the drow language for love.Is there in all the wide world a concept more fleeting, more elusive? Many people of all the races seem simply not to understand love, burden its beauteous simplicity with preconceived notions and unrealistic expectations. How ironic that I, walking from the darkness of loveless Menzoberranzan, can better grasp the concept than many of those who have lived with it, or at least with the very real possibility of it, for all of their lives.Some things a renegade drow will not take for granted.Honest love is a selfless concept...-Drizzt Do'Urden Quote
Guest Posted February 17, 2011 Report Posted February 17, 2011 (edited) Okay okay, I'm in a quote mood - one last quote - this time from the movie, The Notebook.Noah: Would you just stay with me?Allie: Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we are already fighting.Noah: Well that's what we do. We fight. You tell me when I'm being an arrogant son of a witch and I tell you when you are being a pain in the bum. Which you are 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a two second rebound rate and you're back do doing the next pain in the bum thing.Allie: So what.Noah: So it's not going to be easy. It's going to be really hard. And we're going to have to work at this every day. But I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, every day.Man, now I'm getting all mooshy... hah! Mooo - shy. Edited February 17, 2011 by anatess Quote
slamjet Posted February 17, 2011 Report Posted February 17, 2011 If you say you like Drizzt too, I'm going to flip!Sorry, not a D&D fan. Quote
Guest Posted February 17, 2011 Report Posted February 17, 2011 Sorry, not a D&D fan.Waaaa!* Thread successfully hijacked.Uhm yeah. Wedding advice. Like photographers and such.** Thread now back on track. Quote
mordorbund Posted February 17, 2011 Report Posted February 17, 2011 My only rule for the reception was that we have an official cutoff time for the receiving line. I wasn't going to stand there the entire time because there was a steady trickle of late-comers. Having an MC of some sort helps move things along nicely. Oh, and for the wedding presents. You probably can't register for it, but if you have a pregnant sister or cousin you should ask for a starter baby. Keep it for a year or so, learn your lessons, and then give it back. That way when you have your own you've already made all your mistakes on somebody else's child. Quote
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