Church pet peeves!!!

[RipplecutBuddha]

I actually like to see people show up in non-standard dress, because it tells me where their priorities are. They don't care what they look like, they're not going to allow their appearance interfere with being obedient to God.

Having said that, seeing such in people whom you know posses better clothing/judgement (in the case of immodest clothing) might give me pause, but then they're still at church doing what they ought to be doing.

I guess I have a head-down attitude when it comes to judging others. I have my own row to hoe, and there's more than one weed to get rid of before I can hop over to my neighbor and talk to him about his weeds.

As long as they're obeying God to the best of their ability, they will be blessed just like anyone else. I'm good with that.

[pam]

I actually like to see people show up in non-standard dress, because it tells me where their priorities are. They don't care what they look like, they're not going to allow their appearance interfere with being obedient to God.

That can go the opposite way too when you mention priorities. They could also have an I don't give a heck attitude about honoring and respect for Heavenly Father's house as well.

[jayanna]

OKay, here is something that happened, and I just don't t know what to say/think sitting in primary with my little class...the primary pres.'y is sitting in the front...two of them are wearing short skirts and when they cross their legs, hello! They are not wearing garments and they are showing leg up to THERE and their kids are sitting next to me looking at them.

I waved at them, and one saw me, and I made a tucking skirt motion, and she corrected, but the other didn't look at me at all. I did this because if I were inadverdently flashing someone, I would want to know immediately.

But no garments? huh? That really surprised me. And that happened several times, unfortunately, with those two sisters...I have to wonder, I mean, not even on Sunday? I just wonder WHY? Why not wear them? It's not that I don't like those sisters, I love them, but it confuses me, and concerns me for their sakes.

Should I say something to them? This should be like a whole new thread, maybe?

[pam]

Are you talking about mentioning why they aren't wearing garments or about how they were sitting?

[Wingnut]

Should I say something to them? This should be like a whole new thread, maybe?

I wouldn't say anything about garments -- it's none of your business. However, if you are either a Primary teacher, or the parent of a Primary child, you could speak with the woman/women privately and let them know about it. Speak in black and white terms like "distracting, short, flashing" and avoid buzz words that could be offensive, such as "immodest, inappropriate" If it doesn't improve after a month or so, then speak with the bishop, using the same terminology, and let him know that you already spoke with the women themselves, but it's still concerning. If the president herself isn't one of the offenders, then try speaking with her in between the bishop and the others (in other words, don't bug the bishop until you've exhausted other options).

[jayanna]

Well, I don't think they were intentionally sitting that way, but I do wonder why someone would not want to wear garments, when they are examples. Leadership callings are very hard, the adversary makes you a big target, and I think that garments will help.

I am trying to say that I don't understand why they would not want to wear garments? Especially if they are wearing short skirts and tops with no sleeves...the garments help remind you what is modest and what isn't, so if you don't wear them how do you know just where the lines are?

Don't get me wrong, they are beautiful, wonderful sisters, but the clothing thing is getting me a little worried about them. I worry that they think they have to look a certain way in order to be loved or something. I used to think that, and it was sad when I look back. I was very sad in those days, always hating myself, and hating the way I looked. Now I have garments and I am so much happier.

Should I share my testimony of them, or just let them be? I don't want to be pushy, I just want to help, really.

[jayanna]

I wouldn't say anything about garments -- it's none of your business. However, if you are either a Primary teacher, or the parent of a Primary child, you could speak with the woman/women privately and let them know about it. Speak in black and white terms like "distracting, short, flashing" and avoid buzz words that could be offensive, such as "immodest, inappropriate" If it doesn't improve after a month or so, then speak with the bishop, using the same terminology, and let him know that you already spoke with the women themselves, but it's still concerning. If the president herself isn't one of the offenders, then try speaking with her in between the bishop and the others (in other words, don't bug the bishop until you've exhausted other options).

oh, thanks, wingnut, I think I was typing my post while you were posting :0

[Wingnut]

Do you know for a fact that those sisters are endowed? Perhaps they don't ever have garments yet.

Alternately, more than one endowed person has actively chosen not to wear garments in favor of wearing cute (and immodest) clothing instead. I still don't think you should say anything to them about the garment side of the concern. It's just not your business or place to do it. If you're concerned about the exposed flesh, talk about that, but don't preach to them.

[jayanna]

Yes, I've been to the temple with both of them.

I think you're right.

Though if they bring it up the topic with me, I'll speak up. Not because I don't like them, or think badly of them, but they should know that they are lovely no matter what their clothing looks like.

[pam]

I have to agree with Wingnut. It's absolutely not your business as to why they are not wearing garments.

[Guest mirancs8]

Flip flops in church. Yep my pet peeve is those flip flops!!

[Iggy]

At an evening relief society meeting, one of the older sister had a bulge of a "panty" line under her slacks. (we seldom wear dresses or skirts to this meeting) I asked her if she knew she had this quiet obvious roll?

She told me that she just can't seem to get her pantyhose and her garment bottoms to 'like each other'. One really bunches the other to distraction. I thought I was going to die laughing.

I asked her why in the world would she wear pantyhose when she is wearing slacks? She answered with, because I am wearing dress shoes?

SO- perhaps these sisters had pantyhose and garment bottoms that do not 'like each other'. OR perhaps they are of the school that when they are experiencing their menses, they wear regular panties to hold their protection pads in place and forgo the garments so they don't get "soiled".

Along the same lines, I was sitting in Gospel Doctrine class and one of the younger sisters was sitting in a folding chair in full view of the majority of the class with the crack of her backside showing. Her garment top was way up her back and her garment bottom waistline was lost somewhere along with the waistband of her skirt between her bottom and the seat of the chair.

My husband and most of the brethren around us were making comments about her, the Patriarch asked me to alert her that her backside and upper bum was seriously exposed (that is how the Patriarch put it). She very loudly told me that it was none of my business what was exposed.

That is when the Patriarch and a couple of the brethren loudly told her that it WAS our business, and for her to cover herself. Her husband took off his suit jacket and placed it over her shoulders, covering her exposure.

For what it is worth, I would talk privately to each sister and gently explain that they were exposed when they crossed their legs. If they take offense, then go to the Primary President and tell her, she should then talk to her councilors. If that doesn't solve the issue, perhaps then you can invite the Bishopric to visit the class, explain what is happening, and have them sit next to you and let them witness it first hand.

[MorningStar]

I had to tell a friend on Sunday that her garments were showing in back when she walked. I think she must have looked in the mirror from the front and thought they were covered. When I am in situations like that, I might greet the person, give them a hug, and whisper in their ear so I don't draw any attention to it. I had a very long skirt that had a slit in the back. My husband pointed out that I had garment showing when I walked. Glad he told me.

[Palerider]

If it meant that the person was coming to church and loving the Lord and His commandments, then I wouldn't give a hoot what they were wearing (relatively speaking).

But yes, some days it does "pique my interest" so to speak..

I agree with you....I always tell people to wear their Sunday Best to Church. If that means Blue Jeans and a Flannel Shirt, then so be it....

[jayanna]

I have to agree with Wingnut. It's absolutely not your business as to why they are not wearing garments.

Thanks, I've been thinking about it, and I think you're right. Sometimes it's hard to know when I'm helping and when I'm making things worse. While I am worried about them, I shouldn't step in, but let them work through this themselves.

That's one of my pet peeves about church, you grow to care about people, but sometimes can't do anything to help them. Like when my kids are messing up something, sometimes I have to sit back and let it happen so they can learn. It's hard

I wonder how many times Heavenly Father has felt that way about me

[RipplecutBuddha]

Thanks, I've been thinking about it, and I think you're right. Sometimes it's hard to know when I'm helping and when I'm making things worse. While I am worried about them, I shouldn't step in, but let them work through this themselves.

That's one of my pet peeves about church, you grow to care about people, but sometimes can't do anything to help them. Like when my kids are messing up something, sometimes I have to sit back and let it happen so they can learn. It's hard

I wonder how many times Heavenly Father has felt that way about me

Speaking for myself, I'm sure Heavenly Father relaxes a little when I go to sleep, but when I wake up again......

[LDSChristian]

Mine are these:

1. When people are supposed to give a talk and all they do is read. Some people has even read their testimonies in a talk.

2. When people brag about stuff during testimony meeting.

3. A girl in our YSA. She's handicapped. She wasn't born that way, she was in a car wreck when she was little. She still has common sense but uses her handicap as an excuse. Our YSA cluster has split up because of the handbook so we lost our teacher so we have no called teacher. The girl put herself in charge and said that whenever she's not there we won't have class and we'll have to go with the older adults. It's annoying that people think church is about them. I've taught before and was told by the high councilman of our stake's YSA that I did a good job and he'd recommend me being called to be the teacher and now that same high councilman is our bishop so I'd probably teach anyway if she isn't there on a Sunday.

[Wingnut]

1. When people are supposed to give a talk and all they do is read. Some people has even read their testimonies in a talk.

More people fear public speaking than fear death.

[pam]

At least they get up there. Perhaps the Bishop was inspired to ask them to speak as a way of strengthening one of their weaknesses.

[MorningStar]

I would rather sing in front of a huge crowd for an hour straight than give a 5 minute talk. Terrifies me. I was finally able to use notes that last time I spoke, but I still couldn't eat the day before. I even get nervous while writing talks. Ugh.

[lizzy16]

OKay, here is something that happened, and I just don't t know what to say/think sitting in primary with my little class...the primary pres.'y is sitting in the front...two of them are wearing short skirts and when they cross their legs, hello! They are not wearing garments and they are showing leg up to THERE and their kids are sitting next to me looking at them.

I waved at them, and one saw me, and I made a tucking skirt motion, and she corrected, but the other didn't look at me at all. I did this because if I were inadverdently flashing someone, I would want to know immediately.

But no garments? huh? That really surprised me. And that happened several times, unfortunately, with those two sisters...I have to wonder, I mean, not even on Sunday? I just wonder WHY? Why not wear them? It's not that I don't like those sisters, I love them, but it confuses me, and concerns me for their sakes.

Should I say something to them? This should be like a whole new thread, maybe?

I was talking to my mom about garments and the sizing and styles. She was adamant on the fact that the bigger you are basically the longer your garments. She was telling me about a friend during her 20's that was wearing a shorter skirt then expected and I guess my mom and her were talking and she was wearing garments but they were just short because she was petite.

And, my grandmother is a very small framed petite lady and from what I've seen she doesn't roll her garments or anything.

My biggest pet peeves:

When young women leaders basically try to shove young women to bear there testimonies. When the youth leaders focus on inactives way more then those that come to church to the point that we feel ignored. When the youth callings aren't being done correctley. When its just a label and we don't actually do anything.

When teachers aren't prepared to teach. When we switch sunday school callings everyweek. When I say the prayer in sunday school and young womens and BYC because no one else will (AND everyone knows I've said the prayer in all 3.).

When for some reason this 12 yr old keeps coming to what should be the 17 yr old class. Even when I've pointed it out. When I'm learning because the 2 young man keep bringing up random topics. When I'm going to BYU-I next year and am really wanting to delve deeper into scriptures and this said 12 yr old is bringing up primary things that I believe I fully understand.

My sunday school class is a joke. (We had a good teacher for about 3 weeks. I was so excited. Now he was pulled from the youth program for elder quorm prez.)

I've seriously considered going to gospel doctrine and actually learning something instead of playing scripture hangman and talking about Jimmer.

And waking up at 5 30 for seminary at 6. Getting there and hearing the teacher and his son argue for half of class.

[Wingnut]

I've seriously considered going to gospel doctrine and actually learning something instead of playing scripture hangman and talking about Jimmer.

I think that might actually be a better fit for you, Lizzy, based on most everything I've seen you post and discuss on these boards. I would definitely talk with your bishop about it.

[Wingnut]

I saw something in another thread that made me think of a huge church pet peeve I have. I really hate it when people end a talk or lesson with "I say these things in the name of thy son Jesus Christ, amen."

People! You're not praying!

[Iggy]

Mine are these:

1. When people are supposed to give a talk and all they do is read. Some people has even read their testimonies in a talk.

When they read directly from the Ensign or Era, then yes I agree with you. That is not a talk, that is a reading.

I read my talk - I spend weeks preparing my talk. Yet I can not just stand up there and present my talk using just 3x5 cards with notes. Tried it, several times, and it goes very badly.

Now, I write the entire thing out and read from it. I do NOT apologize before or after for "reading" it. Nor do I start my talk with: "When I was asked. . ." - I start it with, "The topic I will be talking about is . . ."

I wish now that I had learned braille when I had the opportunity as a young teen, then I could have written my talks in braille. I could then "read" it with my finger tips as I was reading it aloud .

[Iggy]

I saw something in another thread that made me think of a huge church pet peeve I have. I really hate it when people end a talk or lesson with "I say these things in the name of thy son Jesus Christ, amen."

People! You're not praying!

Every talk given in General Conference, ends that way. They are not praying, yet that is the guide we use in ending our talks that way. Also, they end their talks with their testimony. As do I when I give a talk.

When our Gospel Doctrine teacher ends the lesson- she gives her testimony, followed by "... in the name of..." To me this is quite acceptable. I did the same when I was teaching Sharing Time in Primary, ended it with my testimony.