a girl worth fighting for...

[hidden]

ok, this is really really embarrassing for me, so I am coming here in disguise yet again to air out more issues... I need some outside input from those who are not in this situation and can see it as an outsider, because being on the inside, you cannot always see things clearly...

My problem: I am very insecure, low self-esteem, much of this insecurity comes from a physical abnormality (you can see right away what this is going to have to do with marriage) Most people do not know about my physical abnormality because I can hide it under clothing - so most people think I'm beautiful, say they are jealous of me etc. etc. (my insecurities have helped me to keep the weight off, be physically fit, do everything I can to feel good about my body, there is a lot you can change about your body through exercise etc. etc. and I have changed/done all that I am able to do through exercise etc. etc.)

the marriage part of it - I have been married for over a decade, have 3 kids (girls and boy)... in a marriage, no one is perfect, everyone has things about themselves that they do not like, I try to ignore 'my thing' hope that he can too, we never talked about it until recently because I was too embarrassed to talk about it and he was too polite to mention it, but I am sure he was disappointed on our wedding day and has had to bear this burden right along with me. So recently we talked about it because some embarrassing issues for him have come to light too - for some reason when one person talks about their own shortfalls it is easier for others to talk about their shortfalls too, so after a decade of being married all this stuff is finally coming out in the open which is both a relief and painful to face rather than avoid...

His issue - when he was a kid he was exposed to some pretty horrific stuff (guys never admit kind of thing because it makes them less manly so very hard for this to all come out) anyways, as part of this he has been struggling with porn all his life - hard for me obviously as I am already insecure about what I look like etc. etc. he has gone to the groups etc. etc. is fighting this thing, and is doing very well, I'm trying to be the "girl worth fighting for" - bury all my pain, and just focus on who he needs me to be right now - I really don't want you to think of him as a horrible porn addict or anything, he is a WONDERFUL father, a wonderful husband, he goes to a job he hates and busts his *** every day for us, comes home is nice to us/kind/patient with everyone - I've been with abusive guys, I know an angel when I see one, he has rescued me from so much, I don't even know where to begin... so if this is his only fault, then I can deal with it... does it make me more insecure to not want to lose him? but then it's not just me, it's the kids too etc. etc.

The solution?: There is a surgery that can help me with my physical abnormality, that could help my husband and I be intimate with one another - might help him overcome the porn thing? might give me some more self esteem - as with any surgery there are risks of infection etc. etc. ... the issue is, I am "healthy" without this surgery, I'm not going to die if I don't have it done... I'm not trying to be vain (I wear goodwill store cloths, don't die my hair, wear very little makeup - I try not to be vain...) so the surgery - this is the embarrassing part... I'm what some would call a female Eunuch.. I am enough of a girl that I can have and do have children, but my chest is that of a man's... so I feel a bit like a transgendered person or something... if I have this surgery, I worry about my daughters, what they have inherited from me, how my choices will influence them... I worry about my mom/parents and their own issues and what this will seem like to them... I worry about my husband if this would be good or bad (encourage lust? which I do not want, or would it help foster "love"? I'm not him, I couldn't say...) On one hand, my kids would prob do better if they had a mom with high self-esteem, parents who are close and loving towards one another.... on the other hand, are my girls going to want this surgery too? oldest is 9 - is that old enough to realize mommy is different or could I hide the surgery from her? what about people at church (I work with some young women)? I wear a padded bra, hopefully no one would realize anything... but the last thing I want to do is make any other women feel insecure around me...

so that's my can-o-worms.,.. what say ye? (those who are patient enough to read through all this that is... but then if you are that patient, you are prob a good person with some good advise...)

[FunkyTown]

When you say your chest is 'Like a man's', are you saying that it's completely flat? Or that it's super-hairy?

If you're flat-chested and you're embarassed about it, it's entirely up to you whether or not you have surgery. Know that it won't help your husband with his pornography addiction because a pornography addiction for a man isn't about what his wife looks like.

If you want to change so your husband doesn't view pornography, know that he probably is attracted to you and don't make a change based on that. Instead, if you want to make a change, make a change based on what you want.

If your chest is super-hairy, like a squirrel died on it? Yeah. Then... Yeah, laser surgery's fine.

[Gwen]

it's a conversation, though might be a hard one, to have with your husband. you need to know how he feels about your having breast implants (that is what we are talking about right?).

i don't know how it would effect his issues with porn but i would expect that it won't change much if you were hoping for a cure. the way you are talking it doesn't sound like you are going for a triple d or anything, just to have something. i think most porn goes overboard so... but i can't speak for him. i'm a woman and never had a porn issue so i can't really say.

as for your daughters, is this something you wish your parents had brought up with you when you were much younger? is this something you would consider letting your late teen daughter (17-21ish) do if she has inherited this? when considering if you would let your daughters do this you need to consider the impact on their future. were you able to produce milk and nurse your children? if yes, will you want to have more children and will having implants have a negative impact on your ability to nurse them?

as for what ppl at work or church think, they can get over it. this is personal for you and it's none of their business.

personally, based on what you have here so obviously not all the facts, you need to come to terms with this before making a surgery decision. if you decide to do it then great but it needs to be an educated decision with realistic outcome expectations. to do that you need to get comfortable talking about it. you need to be comfortable talking about it with your husband, with your daughters (especially if they have inherited it). you may find talking about it and removing the "secret" gives you the power to have the confidence you are looking for. the needing to keep it a secret is what gives it power over you, that has to go. then make your decision.

[Jennarator]

Such things are so sensitive. You are bery thoughtful to think of all of those other people in trying to decide what to do. I commend that. Although in this case, it is a self esteeme issue. You need to decide what is best for YOU! I don't think you are are the kind of person (From what I read above) that would go overboard and try to look like a barbie. Personally I see nothing wrong with taking advantage of mondern surgery to repair a defect. It is not selfish, or vain to do so. If you were missing a thumb, and there was a surgery to fix that, wouldn't you do it? Wantitng to feel "normall" (althought nobody knows exactly what that means) is fine.

You should feel good about yourself! You are worth it!

[Wingnut]

Sorry. Reading the title of the thread, this is all I can think of:

[Gwen]

Sorry. Reading the title of the thread, this is all I can think of:

that was my first thought.

[hidden]

thanks everyone - no I don't have a harry chest, I am strong - so let's just say I have a 'muscular' chest ...

I do think back to when I was a teen/early twenties... insecurity led me to drugs / unhealthy relationships / abortion / hell.... it's hard to unravel it all, where it all came from etc. etc... I wasn't raised in the church, part of me thinks "if only I had been in the church, known something about God, if I wasn't deformed none of this would have happened"... the other part of me thinks "if you were in the church, and you were not deformed, then you would be in worse shape then you are now, because you would have done all the same stuff only you would not be - innocent through ignorance - and you prob would have been worse - became a prostitute or something - if you actually had something up there... so not having anything actually tamed you down a bit...'

I see my daughters and worry for them, my son too... one daughter is sooper shy and sooper concerned about pleasing everyone (which is good and bad, makes me worry about her not getting used by guys) another daughter is very flamboyant/manipulative - she gets what she wants from people which is good she has a backbone, but can have it's drawbacks too... my son is pretty easy going laid back little guy, doing great in school, seems to be the most well adjusted of all of us so far... each kid is different...

there are some things that it is good to be open about with everyone, and others that are not... I do not want to know all the gory details about what my husband has done because I don't want those images in my head... I told him to tell me when he is struggling, but that is all I want to hear - just say "I'm struggling right now" that's it, that's enough right?

I have talked to him about getting the surgery - part of me wanted him to say "I love you just the say you are honey" part of me really wants the surgery so I wanted him to be ok with it... he is ok with it, but making sure that it is my decision not his, and he did not want to influence it much... something did slip though, I went to one consultation, and let him know the logistics of it - recov time, cost, possible complications etc. etc. and part of it was size - he slipped out 'you might want to consider going larger because you have a larger frame' ... (I'm kind of tall for a girl although I wouldn't say I'm big boned - just tall)... so what do I make of that? does he want me to be a big barbie? I don't have enough skin to even go very big anyways, I am over thinking it, he prob didn't mean anything by that, right?

I just want to be a female, have a normal relationship... want that for the kids too.

[hidden]

Sorry. Reading the title of the thread, this is all I can think of:

I actually really love that movie - my mom is a bit of a feminist, mulan spent a bit of her life as a "guy" and I feel like I have spent a bit of my life as a 'guy' too... trying to please a feminist mother = being a bit of a man....

[hidden]

When you say your chest is 'Like a man's', are you saying that it's completely flat? Or that it's super-hairy?

If you're flat-chested and you're embarassed about it, it's entirely up to you whether or not you have surgery. Know that it won't help your husband with his pornography addiction because a pornography addiction for a man isn't about what his wife looks like.

If you want to change so your husband doesn't view pornography, know that he probably is attracted to you and don't make a change based on that. Instead, if you want to make a change, make a change based on what you want.

If your chest is super-hairy, like a squirrel died on it? Yeah. Then... Yeah, laser surgery's fine.

once we were told by a stake pres that we needed to 'sport' with one another, that this would help alleviate some things...

Genesis 26:8...and, behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebekah his wife.

we are designed for sex, we crave it, we need it - it just seems like it would be easier for him if you know, I could be there for him... but then I don't know how it all works for him. As part of the porn-group we did go a month without anything... I'm not sure that it helped or not? part of it is self-control, part of it though - ...

[MorningStar]

Oh, so many things to say!

Getting the surgery will not help him overcome his pornography addiction. I promise you that. It won't. And if you go under the knife for him only to discover he is still addicted, how much worse will you feel? You can't be taking any responsibility for his problem. Even if you got the largest implants they make, it is not going to fix him. Look at actors like Hugh Grant. He cheated on Elizabeth Hurley and she's a model. It had nothing to do with her not being pretty enough, skinny enough, big busted enough, etc. Men don't look at porn because there is something wrong with their wives. They do it because they are addicted. Alcoholics don't drink because there is something wrong with their wives either.

You said you struggle with how you feel about your body. Are you underweight? Do you exercise obsessively?

I would strongly suggest seeing a counselor. Getting breast implants isn't going to help him or you. I don't think it will take long before you're feeling self-conscious about another part of your body.

[MorningStar]

once we were told by a stake pres that we needed to 'sport' with one another, that this would help alleviate some things...

Genesis 26:8...and, behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebekah his wife.

we are designed for sex, we crave it, we need it - it just seems like it would be easier for him if you know, I could be there for him... but then I don't know how it all works for him. As part of the porn-group we did go a month without anything... I'm not sure that it helped or not? part of it is self-control, part of it though - ...

What does "sport" mean in that scripture? The background of it is that Isaac lied about Rebekah being his wife, but when a man saw them and the way they were behaving, she could not possibly be his sister as he claimed. I took "sport" as flirting or acting in a way that brother and sister would never do - not having sex out in the open. That scripture isn't about marital advice. :)

Somehow you and your husband managed to have three kids together, so you couldn't be all that repulsive.

[hidden]

What does "sport" mean in that scripture? ...

here's another scripture:

(Old Testament | Proverbs 5:19)

19 Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.

I know, everyone gets old, looks are not everything... but there is a certain responsibility in a marriage to make yourself presentable for your spouse... I mean you don't just let yourself go - part of the reason we come to Earth is to gain a body, and learn how to use it, this means keeping yourself physical fit, fasting - learning self-control... not taking it to extremes obviously (BMI should be above 18.5) but this body thing is part of what it is all about... joy can only be full when spirit + body are inseparably connected etc. etc. how Satan's minions are not able to have bodies and that is a horror to them...

there is a difference between obsessing over cloths/makeup/hair/being modest vs. just trying to be physically fit / eating healthy food etc. etc. but then where is line between fixing crooked teeth - something that is good vs. something that is mutilating God's temple? and why is that people think nothing of fixing bad teeth (teeth that could be strong, and perfectly able to chew food) and yet for breast implants most consider it to be vain/horrid? where is the line...

Somehow you and your husband managed to have three kids together, so you couldn't be all that repulsive.

not that repulsive? considering that all some guys need is their hand, the ability to have kids does not mean you are beautiful...

really, it's not just about being beautiful though - it's about being female - I want to be a female, not just 1/2 female... gender is such a huge thing within the church, different roles, different classes to go to - and part of gender identity is in physical attributes... I mean if a girl is rough/tuff/non-nurturing I think people in the church would ask her to change - to try and be more "motherly" soft/kind etc. etc. I feel a strong push to try and make myself more feminine... mostly this is what it is about - with or without his issues, I just want to be a female...

I want to be female, but I want 'love' not 'lust' from my husband... I need to figure this out for my children - for my girls too, because they might be facing some of the same issues as me, and I need to know what is best to do...

Edited March 14, 2011 by hidden

[Jennarator]

Like everyone else says, won't change the addiction.

But I think defects are ok to fix. You will feel better about yourself. Also, it's not a bad idea to see a counsler, can help you go thru the emotional effects of the surgery. :)

[Jennarator]

here's another scripture:

there is a difference between obsessing over cloths/makeup/hair/being modest vs. just trying to be physically fit / eating healthy food etc. etc. but then where is line between fixing crooked teeth - something that is good vs. something that is mutilating God's temple? and why is that people think nothing of fixing bad teeth (teeth that could be strong, and perfectly able to chew food) and yet for breast implants most consider it to be vain/horrid? where is the line...

really, it's not just about being beautiful though - it's about being female - I want to be a female, not just 1/2 female...

I completely agree with you on this.

[slamjet]

However, there's one huge point that needs to be made, the one Morningstar has made:

Your husbands pornography addiction has nothing to do with you. Period.

I promise you, you can make yourself look like a barbie doll and it would make no difference. He will still have that addiction. And an addiction is what it is. He needs to replace the porn with something else. He uses it to deal with stress. This is what he has learned to do from a very young age (as you have pointed out). It was the one and only way he felt he could escape the horrors of his home. This is his fight, not yours. You need not think that you are the cause, or the solution to his problem. Because you are not.

I suggest you find a local Church ARP program that deals with sexual issues. They should have an alonon part to it. This would be great for you both because it is all Gospel centered.

Please, realize that you cannot fix him. He needs to do this himself. All you can do is look after yourself, the children and love him. He needs to fix this on his own.

[Wingnut]

Can I just say something that may be a little off topic? It's hard for people to offer specific advice if they have to guess what you mean. Say what you mean. Don't keep hinting around being discreet (manly chest, sporting, etc.). Just spit it out and be direct and clear without being graphic. It will make a huge difference in how people understand -- and by extension, respond to -- you.

[hidden]

Your husbands pornography addiction has nothing to do with you. Period.

I know, his addiction came before me... but I can be there for him to help him - would fixing myself help him or hurt him? make everything about lust? or would it help connect us? physical intimacy is very big in marriage in helping to connect people - but it has to be a connection of spirit/heart/soul - not just a physical connection - not just lust....

I don't know... does it have nothing to do with me? when you are married, everything is connected, I don't know that there is anything that 'has nothing' to do with the other... one flesh and all that, everything is connected...

[hidden]

Can I just say something that may be a little off topic? It's hard for people to offer specific advice if they have to guess what you mean. Say what you mean. Don't keep hinting around being discreet (manly chest, sporting, etc.). Just spit it out and be direct and clear without being graphic. It will make a huge difference in how people understand -- and by extension, respond to -- you.

ok - if I put on an "A" bra (the smallest one) I don't fill it - there is no reason for me to wear a bra (I wear one for the padding, only for the padding) If I stand up straight, completely flat. I have tried gaining weight, did not work - I could make milk with kids, but oddly still flat. If I gain weight / lose weight - lose enough weight and my rib cage sticks out in front of my stomach which gives me a little but more of an hour-glass shape... but I am a eunuch.. not just me, my mom... my daughters too perhaps (depending on which side of the gene pool they get) so what I do, I worry about my mom - her insecurities and what she will think, my daughters... could be big pressure on them - which I don't want it to have anything to do with them, but obviously we are all connected to one another, and I do have to face what I do will influence them.

Edited March 14, 2011 by hidden

[slamjet]

I know, his addiction came before me... but I can be there for him to help him - would fixing myself help him or hurt him? make everything about lust? or would it help connect us? physical intimacy is very big in marriage in helping to connect people - but it has to be a connection of spirit/heart/soul - not just a physical connection - not just lust....

I don't know... does it have nothing to do with me? when you are married, everything is connected, I don't know that there is anything that 'has nothing' to do with the other... one flesh and all that, everything is connected...

It has nothing to do with you. You can be there for him, but you cannot fix him, nor can you do anything to yourself to fix him. You may get surgery to get a nice pair of C's and he may begin to lust after you, but he will still be turning to porn. And the only thing you will accomplish is to deepen your co-dependency. That is, begin to encircle yourself with the need to fix him when it is a loosing endeavor.

I would say how I know all this, but not on an open forum. All I will say is that I know what I'm talking about both personally and for those whom I've worked with. And I also know that it will take more than me posting this for you to realize the truth of this matter. The only thing I ask is you think about this.

If you do decide on augmentation surgery, please decide from a point of wanting to look good. Not to boost your own self esteem, nor to attempt to make your husband like you more. By the sounds of it, he is committed to you and your family. He needs to kick the porn habit to get his head pointed in the right direction. It can be done. I've seen it done. But it's not overnight and it's not a pretty process. But in the end it is so worth it.

[hidden]

It has nothing to do with you. You can be there for him, but you cannot fix him, nor can you do anything to yourself to fix him. You may get surgery to get a nice pair of C's and he may begin to lust after you, but he will still be turning to porn. And the only thing you will accomplish is to deepen your co-dependency. That is, begin to encircle yourself with the need to fix him when it is a loosing endeavor.

I would say how I know all this, but not on an open forum. All I will say is that I know what I'm talking about both personally and for those whom I've worked with. And I also know that it will take more than me posting this for you to realize the truth of this matter. The only thing I ask is you think about this.

If you do decide on augmentation surgery, please decide from a point of wanting to look good. Not to boost your own self esteem, nor to attempt to make your husband like you more. By the sounds of it, he is committed to you and your family. He needs to kick the porn habit to get his head pointed in the right direction. It can be done. I've seen it done. But it's not overnight and it's not a pretty process. But in the end it is so worth it.

It would be in order to be female - not even to look good, just so I could be female... have that as part of my identity.

When we were sealed in the temple we were sealed with the Spirit - in my patriarchal blessing - he's the one I'm supposed to be with for eternity. He's been doing good with things lately, but I assume it will always be a temptation/struggle... I'm not perfect either - I had an abortion, shedding of innocent blood - killed my own child, so whatever anyone else does it will always pale in comparison to my own blood stained robes... we each have things to make us humble... weakness made strong? can you ever put the past behind? do I deserve to try and make myself normal, or should I accept things the way God made me? I've lived without God, it almost killed me - I don't want to return... I want to follow God's will... wish I knew God's will on everything...

[slamjet]

It would be in order to be female - not even to look good, just so I could be female... have that as part of my identity.

When we were sealed in the temple we were sealed with the Spirit - in my patriarchal blessing - he's the one I'm supposed to be with for eternity. He's been doing good with things lately, but I assume it will always be a temptation/struggle... I'm not perfect either - I had an abortion, shedding of innocent blood - killed my own child, so whatever anyone else does it will always pale in comparison to my own blood stained robes... we each have things to make us humble... weakness made strong? can you ever put the past behind? do I deserve to try and make myself normal, or should I accept things the way God made me? I've lived without God, it almost killed me - I don't want to return... I want to follow God's will... wish I knew God's will on everything...

God's Will: for you to be happy.

How to accept God's will: live a life of obedience and repentance.

We all made mistakes. Some worse than others. Mine are pretty bad in and of themselves. But I promise you that it really doesn't take much to find out the will of God for you. And I'm sure everyone will know what I'm going to post next:

- Read scriptures daily.

- Pray at least twice daily.

- Attend and be active in Church.

It really is that simple. I promise you that there is nothing you've done that God will not forgive you for and give you that peace of conscience (Mosiah 4:1-3). Will you ever forget the past? I'm not sure. I haven't forgotten mine yet. But the memories begin to fade and become less and less in our face as we become more and more obedient to God's commandments. Christ himself said that his yoke is easy and his burdens are light (Matthew 11:28-30). I've learned that they are.

Start to work on yourself. See if your husband follows along. I bet you'll start to feel better as you bring that sweet spirit of God onto your home. And when the time feels right, ask about the child who wasn't born. You may be surprised at the answer you get. I was.

[beefche]

It would be in order to be female - not even to look good, just so I could be female... have that as part of my identity.

A pair of breasts do not make you female. If that were true then those women who had mastectomies would cease to be female.

You ARE female. The fact that your breasts are small doesn't negate that. Having augmentation surgery isn't going to fix your self esteem problems. It may help, but self esteem begins from within, not without.

[hidden]

... it's not overnight and it's not a pretty process. But in the end it is so worth it.

Just one more little blurb for others out there who have struggled with porn… strange as it might seem, his porn issues have actually helped us become closer because through this thing we are now more open around one another, if his issues had not come out, then neither would mine have… my dad has talked with me about some of my mom’s issues – in their marriage, they have never talked to one another, nor would he dare talk to her about some things – there are things about my mom that I know, that my dad does not… amazing to be married to someone for so long and know so little. I look at our genealogies, these repeating patterns – there are some parts of this huge long chain I so want to break… other parts of our chain I so want to keep… there is good in everyone, and messed up stuff in everyone… if someone is humble and willing to repent, going through something hard, can bring you so much closer to one another…

To try and redeem myself, to outsiders, and so I now look like the perfect molly Mormon – perfect family, “how do you get your kids to sit so nicely during sacrament meeting?” - Kind of a family – if they only knew… how many perfect families aren’t really perfect? I have cleaned myself up, try to walk the walk, listen/learn/do… the other day dealing with a situation someone said “people like you (perfect life etc.) don’t understand people like us (someone dealing with mental health + some other issues)… I could not tell them I wasn’t one of the ‘perfect’ ones but it took me back, being classified as that now, my life had always been so messed up, and now I’m one of the ‘perfect’ ones? I’m in this church because God put me here – in my blessing ‘it is not by accident that you are in the position that you find yourself” after all that I have done, God caused that I was baptized – and He did… I’m not here because I studied/prayed/searched – I’m here because God picked me up screaming and shouting and placed me here… I’m still not sure why He did that… you can know something is true, but where you fit into it? I know physics is true, but does that mean I should devote my life to studying physics? True – vs. – be a part of it… I would so love to be a part of it, though I don’t deserve it, and never could… I would love to be the perfect family, the perfect woman/mother/wife – strong, confident, etc. etc. I work towards being perfect – ‘be ye therefore perfect’ … even if I’m never perfect, I can at least bury myself in working towards it – work does take one’s mind off of things…

[applepansy]

Hidden,

First of all.... you are not a eunuch. Wrong word. Look it up in the dictionary.

Second, what beefche said is so true. Breasts to not make you a woman and the lack of breasts do not make you a eunuch.

Now... onto other things. I agree that breast augmentation will not stop your husband's porn addiction. He has to do that for himself. You can't fix it and you most certainly shouldn't try to fix with surgery.

You've mentioned the abortion a couple of times. I'm assuming this was before you were baptized? You're now a member of the church and you were sealed to your spouse in the temple. Did you discuss the abortion with your bishop at any time during the process of getting a temple recommend? I hope you did. If not, you need to talk to your bishop now. If you did, then you need to forgive yourself because our Heavenly Father has. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to think of yourself as a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves you. As I reread prior to clicking on post I think you should go talk to your bishop anyway. Seeing a therapist with LDS Family Services might help you get to the root of the problem. Having a flat chest is not the root.

Honestly, until you deal with the self worth issues getting breast augmentation surgery isn't going to help you. You'll just find another reason to think less of yourself.

I hope you can find peace before you make a decision.

Best Wishes.

P.S. You already are a girl worth fighting for. Fight for yourself!!!

Edited March 14, 2011 by applepansy
P.S.

[hidden]

Hidden,

First of all.... you are not a eunuch. Wrong word. Look it up in the dictionary.

yes, they have a word for men, but not for women...

You've mentioned the abortion a couple of times. I'm assuming this was before you were baptized?

yes, I had to have special PPI's before I could be baptized etc. etc. it didn't really sink in until I had kids though, after I finally figured out what a family is all about, what kids are all about, I went through a repentance process (that started with a bishop asking everyone for their personal histories for a genealogy project... I turned mine in like everyone else, and then got called in... I'm not sure it's really something that you ever forgive yourself for, beyond the veil I will have to be forgiven by the one whom I killed, that's who is really going to have to forgive me...

Seeing a therapist with LDS Family Services might help you get to the root of the problem. Honestly, until you deal with the self worth issues getting breast augmentation surgery isn't going to help you. You'll just find another reason to think less of yourself.

according to wiki (don't go to the article btw as it has picts on it)

"According to a study by Figueroa-Hass,[23] improvements in women's self-esteem and sexual satisfaction were directly attributed to their breast augmentation. Patients aged 21 to 57 years old showed an average increase in self-esteem from 20.7 to 24.9 on the 30-point Rosenberg scale. Further to the increase in self-esteem, a 78.6 percent increase was noted in sexual desire."

[23]

Plastic Surgery Helps Self-Esteem | Psych Central News

“So much attention is directed to men’s sexuality issues; we have all seen countless commercials on drugs and therapy devoted to improving men’s sexuality. Unfortunately, very little is discussed regarding women’s sexuality issues,” Figueroa-Haas said.

...

“Nurses should display compassion and understand an individual’s reason for seeking cosmetic surgery instead of dismissing or stereotyping these patients. This study shows that there are genuine psychological improvements that follow plastic surgery, and these issues must be understood and respected."

we would like to think these things do not impact us, but they do...

You already are a girl worth fighting for. Fight for yourself!!!

thanks!

Edited March 14, 2011 by hidden