Is cosmetic surgery the answer to bullying?

[pam]

Cosmetic Surgery to Stop School Bullying: Plastic Surgery for Children Increases 30 Percent in a Decade - ABC News

Samantha just had otoplasty, commonly known as "pinning back" the ears. Before her surgery, her protruding ears made her the target of lots of hurtful questions by both children and adults.

What are your thoughts?

[Jennarator]

Sad to think people are insensitive enough that it would come to that.

I would think self esteeme would be a better answer to bulling. Those with really great self esteeme often are not the target of that, because they know how to ignor the bullies. If the bullies are ignored, really igenored, they find someone else they can have the desired effect over....

[slamjet]

I don't have an issue with otoplasty when it's extreme and after the age of 10. There are some things that can be corrected that would help a developing child's self esteem. I do have an issue with all this dangerous nonsense with tummy tucks, nose and boob jobs.

My bro. had a thing with his eyelid that was harmless, but was strange. He got it corrected at a young age and was much better because of it. Little things fine. But to have drastic changes can't be helpful.

[Jennarator]

If it's a defect, no problem, if it's just to try to "fit in," "Be cool," or make friends, forget it. I suppose the ear thing might be alright if it was pretty bad.

[Backroads]

I guess I would have to see just how bad her ears were. I'm not opposed to plastic surgery. I think it can be gratuitous, but it's not like she was trying to be gorgeous, just normal. If it's that bad, fix it!

[Jenamarie]

Sad to think people are insensitive enough that it would come to that.

I would think self esteeme would be a better answer to bulling. Those with really great self esteeme often are not the target of that, because they know how to ignor the bullies. If the bullies are ignored, really igenored, they find someone else they can have the desired effect over....

"Ignoring" bullies did NOTHING to stop the kids who were bullying me. NOTHING. It was, infact, probably the worst advice I was given, because it kept me from standing up for myself (because standing up to them means you're not ignoring them). So not only were the adults in my life not doing much to help me, but I was also discouraged from trying to help myself, and the bullies saw an easy target.

It is very difficult for a child to build a strong sense of self-worth if they're having to spend day after day after day dealing with people's cruelty towards them. Particularly in school, where there's no where to "hide". An adult can quit a job, divorce a spouse, move to a new neighborhood, etc. A child doesn't have any of those options unless a truely caring, knowledgable adult steps in to help them. And they have to do more than try to "build up" the child's self-esteem. They also need to deal with the bullys. Otherwise, you're dealing with an extreme up-hill battle.

[swampgeek]

I have 7 kids age 10-20 years old. Two of my sons have the family ears. My dad always said that we are born with full size ears and it takes a few decades to grow into them.

I do not take the issues with kids self image lightly at all though. My youngest daughter (13) recently was diagnosed with an eating disorder and we have been going through therapy and to a nutritionist to rectify the situation. She is making great progress, but the core issue of self worth, self esteem, self image, are hard to get through at that age. Girls are especially targeted by the media and we have bought into this junk. She is 5'5" and 116lbs and thinks she's fat. I would beat all the ad execs I could find for the last 50 years if I could.

I think plastic surgery for superficial "societal" items, breast, lips, cheek, lypo cause you're too lazy to get outside are the wrong path and send the wrong message. Tacking ears back I can understand. I wanted to crazy glue mine down for years, but you would never even notice them now. We have to live with the skin were in and society now a days sure isn't getting any better about excepting any of the natural flaws that make us all unique. I like those little flaws in my wife (NO I DID NOT SAY SHE HAS FLAWS IN THAT SENSE AND WILL DENY IT IF SHE HEARS ABOUT THIS), but honestly, we are all a collection of imperfections, some just add more character than others and I have a lot of character!

[Wingnut]

"Ignoring" bullies did NOTHING to stop the kids who were bullying me. NOTHING. It was, infact, probably the worst advice I was given, because it kept me from standing up for myself (because standing up to them means you're not ignoring them). So not only were the adults in my life not doing much to help me, but I was also discouraged from trying to help myself, and the bullies saw an easy target.

It is very difficult for a child to build a strong sense of self-worth if they're having to spend day after day after day dealing with people's cruelty towards them. Particularly in school, where there's no where to "hide". An adult can quit a job, divorce a spouse, move to a new neighborhood, etc. A child doesn't have any of those options unless a truely caring, knowledgable adult steps in to help them. And they have to do more than try to "build up" the child's self-esteem. They also need to deal with the bullys. Otherwise, you're dealing with an extreme up-hill battle.

I really wish I could thank this twice. I also had the experience of "ignoring" being horrible advice.

I see a difference between self-worth and self-esteem. Self-worth comes from within, from knowing you are loved by family and by a Heavenly Father, and knowing your relationship with Him. It comes from a sense of confidence and knowledge that you are a strong person. (Note: this is obviously within a religious context -- non-religionists can also experience/have self-worth. I'm just not sure how to define it, because it's outside my experience.) Self-esteem, on the other hand, stems from one's perception of how others view them. A kid who is bullied can't just buck up and have some self-esteem. They can build self-worth, which can lead to self-esteem, but the worth comes first.

[Backroads]

I wish kids were still allowed to punch bullies...

[Guest mormonmusic]

As someone who had to put up with bullying when I was younger, and didn't yet have my growth spurt, I say this: "It's a burden to be odd".

If there is something visible that can be fixed economically to make the problem go away, then do it. Shut the insensitive people up and then enjoy your life in public. And, by the way, stick up for the other people who get bullied and comfort them.

Edited April 15, 2011 by mormonmusic

[Saldrin]

Cosmetic Surgery to Stop School Bullying: Plastic Surgery for Children Increases 30 Percent in a Decade - ABC News

Samantha just had otoplasty, commonly known as "pinning back" the ears. Before her surgery, her protruding ears made her the target of lots of hurtful questions by both children and adults.

What are your thoughts?

If the kid is the one causing the bully to have cosmetic surgery because the bully got his butt whipped then.. yes.

[Guest]

My cousin spends 2 weeks out of every year volunteering for a group of doctors/nurses who perform free cleft-palate surgeries on children in 3rd world countries.

So yes, cosmetic surgery is fine in my book to fix a birth defect. No, small boobs is not a birth defect.

And getting bullied is not a good enough reason to get surgery. Because, if it wasn't your ears, it would be something else... you would think there's no way kids can make fun of the name anatess... so, a child has to learn to stand up to bullies. If a child wants to fix her ears because she wants to look normal, then okay. But, she defines what is normal - not the bully.

Make sense?

[Backroads]

In junior high, one of my best friends had a mole removed. That might fall under cosmetic surgery, but for her it was worth the confidence boost. Kids were mean about her mole and removing it was a practical option.

We have all these medical options nowadays... why not enjoy them?

[cj06]

My pictures of me when i was younger 40+ years ago look just like DUMBO THE ELEPHANT ( big ears ) . I use to get bullied or beat the heck out of in grade school all the time , even my old music teacher kept sending to the principals office cause i couldn't sing , in my opinion i always sounded like a cow , i always fought back but a lot of the times i was out numbered so it usually did not do any good ! to this day i do believe that one should stand up for them selves and that even includes a fight if it comes to it !

[rheaseo25]

School-age children in particular are often victims of taunting and bullying by other kids because of the size and shape of their ears.

Studies have shown that people with aesthetically a typical ears have significantly lower self-esteem; and children often cope by either developing introverted personalities or engaging in problematic behavior. Fortunately, studies have also shown that otoplasty can change all of that.

Ear pinning and reshaping cosmetic surgery provides both physical and psychological benefits for patients. Suddenly, the staring and teasing stops, and people are finally able to notice the person rather than focus on their unusual ears.

[Blackmarch]

Cosmetic Surgery to Stop School Bullying: Plastic Surgery for Children Increases 30 Percent in a Decade - ABC News

Samantha just had otoplasty, commonly known as "pinning back" the ears. Before her surgery, her protruding ears made her the target of lots of hurtful questions by both children and adults.

What are your thoughts?

only if its the bully being operated on... otherwise its the wrong kind of answer

[rufuswhitman]

Is there any difference between otoplasty for the ears, a tummy tuck, or getting braces on the teeth?

Most people who get braces do so to improve their looks.

Same with people dying their hair.

The motivation behind them is the same. The only difference is one of degree.

RW

[Guest]

Is there any difference between otoplasty for the ears, a tummy tuck, or getting braces on the teeth?

Most people who get braces do so to improve their looks.

Same with people dying their hair.

The motivation behind them is the same. The only difference is one of degree.

RW

No, you don't normally get braces or a tummy tuck because you got bullied... so, the motivation is different if we look at the motivation of the otoplasty from the OP.

[Backroads]

I gotta say... people who don't get braces and need them shouldn't be bullied, of course, but it does leave me wondering why they don't care enough about themselves to take care of their bodies.

[Guest]

I gotta say... people who don't get braces and need them shouldn't be bullied, of course, but it does leave me wondering why they don't care enough about themselves to take care of their bodies.

I didn't get braces. I have one tooth that is turned inwards a bit. It doesn't prevent me from eating, etc.

I look at the tooth and I find it cute.

Your idea of "taking care of their bodies" is different than others. And that's just fine.

[pam]

I gotta say... people who don't get braces and need them shouldn't be bullied, of course, but it does leave me wondering why they don't care enough about themselves to take care of their bodies.

Getting or not getting braces has nothing to do with people caring enough about themselves or taking care of their bodies.

All the brushing, flossing, dental care in the world won't stop teeth that just come in crooked. Plus the cost of braces is staggering for those that just can't afford it. Not all dental plans cover the cost of braces. When they do it's normally a very nominal amount.

As a single mother of 3, if I could have afforded the high cost of braces for my kids I would have.

My point, not getting braces does not equate to not carrying about themselves or their bodies.

[Backroads]

Anatess and pam made excellent points, thanks for reminding me. I bow.

But there are situations where the teeth MUST be corrected. There is difficulty in chewing, there's discomfort. I know such extremes are rare, but it happens.

But sans braces as an example, there are so many situations where it's kind of obvious why the kid is being bullied. The kids that don't bathe, for instance. And often times they are raised in a family that simply isn't aware of that, no fault of the kid, but it's still sad and so easily correctable.

[Guest]

Anatess and pam made excellent points, thanks for reminding me. I bow.

But there are situations where the teeth MUST be corrected. There is difficulty in chewing, there's discomfort. I know such extremes are rare, but it happens.

But sans braces as an example, there are so many situations where it's kind of obvious why the kid is being bullied. The kids that don't bathe, for instance. And often times they are raised in a family that simply isn't aware of that, no fault of the kid, but it's still sad and so easily correctable.

Yep. Then the bullies will move on to something else... like how the kid is still wearing Skechers in 8th grade.

Still doesn't solve the problem.

[Backroads]

I was looking at the bullying thread elsewhere... the cure needs to be for the bullies. But it's still hard on the victim when they are denied ways to make life easier.

[classylady]

Is teasing the same thing as bullying? Back in my school days, there was a girl who was always teased about her nose. She really had a Barbra Streisand nose, probably even worse. In high school she had a nose job, and she looked wonderful. But, then she was teased about getting a nose job! Poor girl. She couldn't win. I'm sure she was grateful to finally graduate and get away from all the kids she had grown up with.