Oh my gosh, I am terrified.

[sweetoctober]

I seriously have no idea who I am anymore... I am starting college in the fall, and I can't make up my mind. It's the worst internal conflict I have ever experienced in my life, and no matter how much searching I do, I always find glitches in the plan. I am so insanely lost and stressed... I hoped around through so many careers I love, but there are always these gross obstacles... like course hard, and it's measure of difficulty. I would love to study neurology, but I hate math and science. I love psychology, and would love to have my ph.d in clinical psychology, but my mom says I need to get a heart before I can start to try and help others with their problems... I love journalism, but I don't want to get stuck in a field that is non productive. Advertising is cool, but whos to say it's for me? The cuteness of being indecisive or the grace period is OVER and I still have no idea where I want to go.... And I feel like I am disappointing people everywhere I go =/ This is hard!

[JudoMinja]

Make a choice and pray about it. Don't worry about which choice it is or what others may think about it. Just pick an option and pray. If you still feel lost, pick a different one and pray about that one. Rinse, lather, and repeat until you feel comfortable with your choice.

[swampgeek]

If you could go back in time and tell the 20 year old me what I would be doing today I would have literally laughed in your face. The career I have now wasn't even around when I started down the path that lead me to now. Some people have known since they were a fetus what they wanted to "do" for a living, but most settle and end up doing a "job". A job to pay the bills and afford them some measure of comfort or freedom. Few have careers that fulfill them in every way.

You find the things that your are passionate about, truly passionate about and find a way to get paid working on them. Be creative, think outside the box. A formal education is wonderful as a starting point, but rarely is the defining part of what you will ultimately become. There are many courses in entrepreneurship to help you be your own boss and or look at careers in a different light.

I own my business and there are many parts of it that aren't appealing to me, the accounting, invoicing, sales, marketing...yada yada yada, but what I actually do is very interesting and ever changing. I get to work with many different types of people and do a myriad of tasks to help them do their jobs better. I know, it sounds glamorous, it's not. BUT I get a kick out of it and have a lot of freedom to do amazing things with my family on my terms as well.

When I was in the Marine Corp I learned to live by three words that have guided me for decades now... Adapt, Adjust, and Overcome. You can do anything, you just may get there in a way you never expected. The other words I live by, beyond the Gospel, is Semper Fidelis...Always Faithful, God, Family, Corp... You have the potential, don't let a little thing like fear get in the way.

[Guest mormonmusic]

You need some self-awareness training. I would suggest you go to the Gallup Strengthsfinder site. Pay the fee to get their book Strengthsfinder 2.0 and take their online test (an access code to their website comes with the book -- the only way you can get to take the test). It will tell you what your top 5 strengths are. Cost is minimal. It will also give you an action planning guide to help you figure out what you could do with your life.

Could be life changing for you; I've been using it in my work and last week I did an all-nighter, followed by three more 4-am days later in the week, successively, because what I was doing fit my strengths and is engaging.

I think this will help you find out who you are and what you might do for a living that is energizing each day of your life. It'll save you on misspent tuition too.

[Blocky]

Sounds like you're stressed about being stressed. It's a brutal cycle.

You haven't started college yet. You don't have to decide right away.

Most people I know who have careers that they love, didn't go to school for that specific thing, either at first or at all. Maybe if you focus on school as a learning process and not so much as a tool only for career advancement it will take some of the pressure off. It's ok if you take some courses that don't apply to your major, or if you take an extra year or two. It's ok.

I'm 28, if I could see a myself now 10 years ago, it would be surprising. I did not plan on wife/mother as how I'd describe myself. I dropped out of a MCD Biology major. If I was to go back, I'd focus on math. In the mean time, I'm starting some writting courses (something I never enjoyed before recently).

[HEthePrimate]

I love psychology, and would love to have my ph.d in clinical psychology, but my mom says I need to get a heart before I can start to try and help others with their problems...

That sounds rather harsh!

As somebody else said, there are tests you can take which can help you learn what your interests are, what some of your aptitudes are, and match you up with potential career paths. I wouldn't follow them blindly, but they can give you some good ideas and suggestions to think about. Your college probably has tests like this you can take (like at BYU's Counseling and Career Center).

Don't disregard completely what other people might suggest--give their ideas some thought--but you need to make your own decisions. After all, you're the one who'll have to live with the consequences the rest of your life! (No pressure! Just saying, it's ok to choose for yourself, even if somebody else disagrees.)

Edited April 27, 2011 by pam

[rameumptom]

The first two years of college is filled basically with required course work that all need to go through (Math, English, etc). Announce a major now, knowing you have at least two years to change it. Then focus primarily on the core classes until you have a better idea where you want to go with your education.

[pam]

My advice exactly Ram. Get some of the generals out of the way before you do have to declare a major.

[Dravin]

My advice exactly Ram. Get some of the generals out of the way before you do have to declare a major.

It was through my generals that I decided what degree I wanted to pursue, I doubt a personality/aptitude test would have lead me to geology.

[rameumptom]

Great minds think alike. Except when they don't....

[JudoMinja]

There's nothing wrong with changing your mind, and no education is ever "wasted". There are plenty of people who start college without declaring a major, and plenty more who keep changing their major before they ever finish. Even those who are dead-set on what they want to study may change their mind down the road.

For example, I started college absolutely certain that I wanted to be a veterinarian. After I took a few intro veterinary courses, I realized that wasn't really what I wanted. Sure, I knew I wanted to work with animals, but I didn't want to be stuck working indoors in a clinic fixing sick animals all the time. So, after some careful thought I changed my major. I ended up sticking with my change, but I could easily have changed my mind again. There are plenty of other topics I would love to get degrees in as well.

[Jennarator]

Take your time. Let the stress go. You don't need to decide today, or even tomorrow. I agree with Ram & Pam, take generals, first. Things will fall into place.

[rex8499]

I love psychology, and would love to have my ph.d in clinical psychology, but my mom says I need to get a heart before I can start to try and help others with their problems...

Harsh indeed, don't let that stop you. In my experience with those I know, it's the people that are the most screwed up that want to go into this field and help others, and they do well. 8 years of schooling is a lot of time for you to mature and gain experience and understanding to be able to help others. My sister in law was a basket case, and after 5 years of being in the psychology program, she's leveled out A LOT!

[Traveler]

I seriously have no idea who I am anymore... I am starting college in the fall, and I can't make up my mind. It's the worst internal conflict I have ever experienced in my life, and no matter how much searching I do, I always find glitches in the plan. I am so insanely lost and stressed... I hoped around through so many careers I love, but there are always these gross obstacles... like course hard, and it's measure of difficulty. I would love to study neurology, but I hate math and science. I love psychology, and would love to have my ph.d in clinical psychology, but my mom says I need to get a heart before I can start to try and help others with their problems... I love journalism, but I don't want to get stuck in a field that is non productive. Advertising is cool, but whos to say it's for me? The cuteness of being indecisive or the grace period is OVER and I still have no idea where I want to go.... And I feel like I am disappointing people everywhere I go =/ This is hard!

Do not waste your time with college - yet. I will suggest that you start out cleaning toilets until you figure out what you want to do.

The Traveler

[rex8499]

I've said the same thing to many people. Don't just go to college aimlessly trying to decide what to do, changing your major over and over. It's EXPENSIVE! College is hard enough, but having a clearly defined goal helps. Figure out what you want to do before enrolling.

[Traveler]

I've said the same thing to many people. Don't just go to college aimlessly trying to decide what to do, changing your major over and over. It's EXPENSIVE! College is hard enough, but having a clearly defined goal helps. Figure out what you want to do before enrolling.

Agreed - It is silly to be wasteful. My father always said to be productive. If you do now know what you want to be productive at then be productive at something you don't enjoy so much. But the truth is that happiness in life only comes by being productive. BTW - planning or thinking of becoming productive some day is the gateway to the greatest disappointments of life. Life is much more enjoyable when starting off productive.

The Traveler

[beefche]

I don't think it's wasteful to go to college for a couple of years, taking general classes (that is required for ANY major). As has been said previously, you can take classes to see where your interests lies or doesn't.

I will say though, that one appreciates the classes more (even the ones one doesn't like) when one is paying for himself/herself. It's alot easier to justify sticking in college aimlessly when someone else is footing the bill.

[rex8499]

If you haven't figured out where your interests lie from taking all the general classes in high school, it's very unlikely that you'll figure it out from taking the general classes in college. And while some general studies are required for every major, so also does nearly every major have specific classes that you should be taking freshman and sophomore year. And the chances of taking the right applicable ones for 2 years are pretty slim. In the end, you're definitely wasting time and money even if you do figure it out after 2 years.

But if you get to the end of sophomore year and STILL don't know what you want to do...what then? Drop out of college, start becoming rusty, let those credits expire and have to re-take classes again later anyway, OR, as most people do, just bounce around from major to major wasting time and money trying to figure it out for another 2, 4, 6 years. I've known plenty.

And you may decide after 2 years that what you really would love to do doesnt require any college education at all, and you've just wasted 2 years of tuition that you've got to pay back.

[shdwlkr]

Well let me tell you a little about my life

I went to college right out of high school to be an accountant and discovered I hated it so I transfered to another college to be a Graphic Arts major, that would have put me in a position of managing a large newspaper or magazine company. Funny thing the Vietnam war and the lottery got me a free trip to the Army.

When I came out I went to work in state government as a engineering aide and stayed for 35 years. I went from field engineering to design engineering to computer administrator( I have a bachelor's in the area) developer, system maintainer, data base admin, and finally worked on developing a totally new system for the area I worked when I retired.

Now what I haven't said to this point is that while I was in college for Graphic Arts I worked on an ambulance crew and totally loved the excitement and was offered a totally free ride to medical school I turned it down because I thought I was to stupid to be a doctor. Years later I was again offered a totally free ride to medical school I again turned it down as I would be working with young children who dieing of cancer and most would be the same age as my two healthy kids.

I am in my middle 60's now and working on my masters in mental health counseling and am doing pretty good and will be busy for the rest of my life in this field and guess what it is very close to the medical world I thought I was to stupid to work in.

The course that I thought I could never master was chemistry and I have taken several chemistry courses since and they are not that hard if you work at them.

What all this means is find something that you really love, enjoy and time just seems to stand still when you are doing this and it will be a good fit for a few years. In my case it was almost 4 decades before it got stale and it was time to move on.

In your life time you are going to do many things to earn money start now with things that interest you and follow that dream.

My dream of a college degree had a 30 year break in it almost to long to even get it done but I did and I am not working on my masters and my even go for a doctorate just to do it one day maybe.