just_girl Posted May 2, 2011 Report Share Posted May 2, 2011 Okay, so I know I should probably put this in some other section, and I have a thread already going about the generalities of what is happening, but I need some womanly advice. I've talked to the sister missionaries in our ward and, while I appreciate their opinions greatly, I'm still not quite sure what to do... (and when I ask this, please don't think I'm shallow... I just.... well... want to be sure I'm making the right choice...) I'm getting baptized on Tuesday... This Tuesday, May 3. During the course of conversation with the sister missionaries, I told them that I had a cute white suit that I had never worn. I purchased it a few years back and never felt right wearing it. They jumped on the idea, telling me I should most certainly wear that on Tuesday night. They tried to give me encouragement by saying they had dressed in white on their baptism days, but it is different - they were 8. I'm 31... I dont know what to do. I have a ton of adorable clothes that I could wear and NOT feel completely conspicuous in... but then I have this suit, with the tags on, that I've had in the back of my closet just waiting for a time to make its debut. Let us further complicate this dilemma... I'm in no way a shoe hoarder - in fact - I hate shoes. HATE THEM!!! I'm not sure I own ANYTHING that would look appropriate with this suit... I haven't worn dress shoes except for job interviews over the past few years and have almost literally lived in flip flops... and a suit? With flip flops? Not sure that works... HELP!!! I know - it is trivial, perhaps, but I'm only planning to do this once and I don't want to look back on this night and A) feel like I looked like a child because I wore an all white suit or B) wish I had worn the white suit because, really, when else will it be appropriate??? Sighs... Thanks in advance... I'm really stressing about this (and believe me, this should be the least of my worries at the moment!!!). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzie Posted May 2, 2011 Report Share Posted May 2, 2011 It seems to me that you really want to wear the white suit. Your age doesn't matter, as long as you're comfortable with it. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mightynancy Posted May 2, 2011 Report Share Posted May 2, 2011 I had a cute white suit that I had never worn. I bolded the important part. Wear it! Go to a discounter (Target, Ross, TJMaxx) and get a pair of appropriate shoes - don't spend a ton, because you'll probably only wear them a few times. Enjoy. And best wishes to you on your baptism day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just_girl Posted May 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 2, 2011 Thanks for the advice... It is cute... I'd forgotten how cute, really, until I pulled it out the other day to show them. It has bows on the front where the pockets would be (though no pockets ) and then has a ruffle hem on the skirt... and it isn't just plain suit material, but has some very subtle pattern to it... Sighs... I wont look like I'm trying to relive my childhood by dressing in all white??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speciallady2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Report Share Posted May 2, 2011 I hope you have a wonderful baptism day with your cute suit. The most important part is the covenant and the beginning of a new journey. We are here for you whatever path your journey takes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennarator Posted May 2, 2011 Report Share Posted May 2, 2011 Congrats! So excited for you! Wear the suit, I know you hate shoes, but there are white one all over the place right now, shouldn't take long to go pick some up. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingnut Posted May 2, 2011 Report Share Posted May 2, 2011 I agree with going to buy some inexpensive shoes at a discount place, but don't buy white ones. Buy a fun bold color (obviously just about anything will go with white) that you will wear again with other clothes. And if you want to wear the suit, more power to you -- go for it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted May 2, 2011 Report Share Posted May 2, 2011 Wear the suit. Enjoy your day! Congratulations! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rameumptom Posted May 2, 2011 Report Share Posted May 2, 2011 My advice is to focus on what is truly important regarding the event. If you are so worried about what to wear, then you are being distracted from the most important issues of the day: Christ is adopting you into his family. You become clean and pure. You will receive the gift of the Holy Ghost as a special friend and companion. I hope you will dismiss the concerns regarding clothes, and focus on the things that will truly make this a joyous event for yourself. You will forget what you wore. You won't forget the spiritual event, if you are focused and prepared for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 2, 2011 Report Share Posted May 2, 2011 We're women... we're going to spend a few hours obsessing about what to wear. That's just plain fact. I was 30 when I got baptized. I wore all white! Well, actually it was antique-white (also called ecru) because it was the closest thing to white that I found at the store (it's almost impossible to find all white nice clothes out there, so yeah, lucky you for having an all-white suit ready!). I'm a shoe hoarder... you know Imelda Marcos? If I had as much money as her, I'll own more than 3,000 pairs of shoes. So, yeah, I had shoes the exact same shade of white as the dress. Bold colored shoes works good but, I preferred the monocromatic look for the baptism. White dress shoes can be paired with a lot of colors too - like, white shoes looks great with a red dress and such... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UrbanFool Posted May 2, 2011 Report Share Posted May 2, 2011 Sighs... I wont look like I'm trying to relive my childhood by dressing in all white???You're going to be wearing all-white whether you choose to or not!Also, when I was baptized I was barefoot. I don't think you need to worry so much about shoes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMinja Posted May 2, 2011 Report Share Posted May 2, 2011 You have to be wearing all white when you go into the font anyway. Plus, we wear all white to the temple, so wearing a white suit does not make you look "childish" at all. White is very symbolic, and the Lord is very symbolic. You don't need to worry about what other people will think in this matter. In fact, most of the people at your baptism will probably be impressed that you decided to come dressed all in white. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just_girl Posted May 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 2, 2011 Okay - I realize that focusing on what I'm wearing is incorrect and trust me, that is not the case... so forgive me for looking for a bit of advice on this matter... I appreciate all the wonderful advice I've gotten and will most likely be going with the white suit - if I can find some suitable shoes, that is... I didn't expect to feel judgement in this area of the board, especially.... wow.... I'm a bit taken aback and not sure how to respond... To know that my asking a simple question, for some WOMANLY advice, would call into question the spirit in which I'm proceeding in, well, I'm just shocked. I think from now on I'll do my best to live without coming around here - obviously there is something about me that asks for judgement and critisism and apparently this is not a place where I'm supposed to fellowship. I don't get it, especially when I see so many people with wonderful relationships on here. I'm not a horrible person, really, I'm not... If you knew my story, if you knew my TESTIMONY, perhaps you wouldn't respond to me in this manner, but perhaps you still would. Either way, thank goodness my experience at the local ward has been quite the opposite of what I have experienced here... And please, know that I value all the advice that came my way immensely... having never attended an LDS baptism, I'm not quite sure what to expect... but I guess focusing on that fact would make me that much less spiritual as well, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingnut Posted May 2, 2011 Report Share Posted May 2, 2011 Plus, we wear all white to the temple,We wear all white in the temple. We were our Sunday best to the temple. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted May 2, 2011 Report Share Posted May 2, 2011 And please, know that I value all the advice that came my way immensely... having never attended an LDS baptism, I'm not quite sure what to expect... but I guess focusing on that fact would make me that much less spiritual as well, right?No, it doesn't. Its only natural to want the day to be special. Women worry about what they will wear. That is part of our nature and its totally ok. I'm sure your heart and mind are in the right place or you wouldnt' be worrying about what to wear in the first place.Remember....you're on a public forum and there is always judgement passed by someone. Don't take it personally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMinja Posted May 2, 2011 Report Share Posted May 2, 2011 We wear all white in the temple. We were our Sunday best to the temple.Thank you Wingnut. :) You are correct. I hate it when I make mistakes with one little word that throws off the whole meaning of what I was trying to say. Lol.just_girl --From my experience on this board, there will always be someone who trys to tear apart your post. Please don't take it the wrong way. Most everyone who has commented on your thread here has been encouraging you to go ahead and wear the white suit if that's what you want to do and to not worry about looking like a kid. If somebody says something really off-base, just know that these are people who don't know your whole story and likely never will. The mod's here are really good about keeping truly offensive posts out, but there is always little banter.If you really think this isn't a place you want to come for advice that's your choice, but I for one think you would be missing out. I've made some great friends here.And there is nothing incorrect about focusing on what you're wearing, in my opinion. In fact, it was on a thread on this site somewhere that I read about the importance of presentation (can't remember what thread it was, but I bet someone will post it now that I've mentioned it). Symbolism is very important, and what we wear is very symbolic. We are expected to wear our Sunday best to church, because what we wear becomes a symbolic reflection of how we feel about the gospel on the inside. We wear white during our ordinances- like baptism and in the temple because it symbolises purity, victory, and many other things in relation to the atonement and overcoming our sins.You want to look your best. You want your "presentation" to reflect how you feel on the inside about your baptism. Of course, since you haven't been raised in the church, you do not know if wearing the white suit would for some reason or another be considered unacceptable. You are perfectly justified in asking this question and seeking advice on the matter. Just don't take the "banter" to heart and realize you have a lot of people supporting you here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just_girl Posted May 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 2, 2011 Judo: Thank you so much for what you've said... I really do! You made so many amazing points and I will certainly take your advice to heart. I probably did take things too personally but I know that I try to be careful about what I say and then take other things to heart that I should just let go... I really would like to share my testimony at some point on here, I just don't know what is ok to share... I will eventually though if I end up sticking around.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMinja Posted May 2, 2011 Report Share Posted May 2, 2011 Judo: Thank you so much for what you've said... I really do! You made so many amazing points and I will certainly take your advice to heart. I probably did take things too personally but I know that I try to be careful about what I say and then take other things to heart that I should just let go... I really would like to share my testimony at some point on here, I just don't know what is ok to share... I will eventually though if I end up sticking around....Your welcome, just-girl. And looking over everything here it seems what upset you was Ram's post? I'm sure Ram did not mean to upset you- his advice was actually pretty good advice too. Sometimes we get so wrapped up worrying about the little things that we miss the truly important stuff. Yes, what we wear and the way we present ourselves can be very important, but we also do not need to get too caught up in "worldly" things. If we are so concerned about the way we dress that this comes before our spirituality, we are worrying far too much.Take what you will from everyone's posts. Not everyone will always agree with you, and people will often present something from a perspective you may not have considered. Some people are very blunt in their posts, and others like to "sweeten" it up. If you do decide to stick around, you will come to see that both approaches have their merit and even some "harsh" people have great input.It will be like that wherever you go, even when dealing with people in person. Stick to your faith, your principles, and keep on striving to grow toward perfection. Don't let any offense steer you from the Lord's path. Your baptism is a special day, a first step on a wonderful journey. Make it memorable so that you can look back and remember this decision when you find yourself struggling, because struggles will come. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefche Posted May 2, 2011 Report Share Posted May 2, 2011 As an aside, I don't think anyone in this thread was trying to tear you down or tear apart your post. When you come to a public forum and ask for opinions, you will get opinions. Some of them you will like, some you will not like. No one should take things so personally--especially when it was one post that you disagreed with. Ram's post was his impression of what you wrote--he cannot read your mind, he cannot know what is in your heart, and he cannot know your intentions. All he can do is read what you wrote and then write his response from his own perspective. I've noticed in your threads that you take things very personally and focus on the one "negative" post. I would remind everyone that a public forum means you cannot dictate what others will post. If you don't like having to deal with what you may perceive as negative, then I would suggest you seek advice elsewhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just_girl Posted May 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 2, 2011 .It will be like that wherever you go, even when dealing with people in person. Stick to your faith, your principles, and keep on striving to grow toward perfection. Don't let any offense steer you from the Lord's path. Your baptism is a special day, a first step on a wonderful journey. Make it memorable so that you can look back and remember this decision when you find yourself struggling, because struggles will come.Nothing is going to keep me from this new journey - I'm not that finicky... I'm giving up family and the most amazing relationship I've ever had with a man to walk this direction - I'm giving up a secure financial future and losing everything I had dreamed of... I do not make this decision lightly and I will not be deterred that easily. And no matter what anyone says, I WILL remember what I wore to my baptism... not having grown up in the LDS church I'm not sure what to expect (wow, think I said that before) but I still remember BOTH of my outfits from my baptism on my 8th birthday in the RLDS church... (they don't wear jumpsuits so I had a yellow dress to be baptized in and then a pink one for my confirmation....)Perhaps I wouldn't be worried about it if I thought people wouldn't notice - but I know they will, especially after yesterday at church when a lady commented on how I always have the cutest outfits, especially one that I had worn and she just loved (and note that I've only been to this church for three sacrament meetings and a fireside - that makes three outfits since the fireside was on a Sunday night and I didn't do a wardrobe change...).... One last thing... I think I was pretty specific in my initial post that I was looking for WOMANLY advice, not that I totally discount advice from men, but I figured this was sort of an issue that other females may understand... Had I wanted advice from anyone, I would have simply posted this question in the Advice area. *shrugs* Guess I'm still figuring all this out... Lessons I've learned:* Stop taking things so personally.... everything is not an attack, even though it often feels that way* Asking for womanly advice doesn't mean that men won't weigh in as well* If I really want important advice, perhaps approaching people I KNOW rather than strangers online is a better way to go....I'm trying - this is all so new to me and I hope you will be patient... I'm trying, I really am... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gramajane Posted May 3, 2011 Report Share Posted May 3, 2011 While on the one hand, what you wear to your baptism is not all that important, but what is in you heart is, and since you have the CUTE white suit, (which you could wear to church anytime, or firesides, or going TO the temple or whatever! :) I suggest that you don't HAVE to have "matching" shoes. Taupe colored, or a shade the color of your skin are fine (the prophet has asked us not to wear flip flops that could be worn to the beach, to church) or you can have fun and have even pink shoes and a pink purse, or even wear black shoes if you want! (I personally like the shoes to be a shade darker than the skirt- ) I think what is MOST important is that whatever you wear, that you don't wear something that will distract you from the REASON you are there, as your clothing should not be the main focus. Think about the Savior and the path you are entering, -- in His days I even totally doubt it was required to wear white to be baptized in-- how many poor people had even a change of clothing? So- happy for your baptism! you are on the right path! :) May God bless you to keep going on it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just_girl Posted May 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 3, 2011 Wow, I didn't realize that it had been requested that people not wear flip flops to church - and since I live in them, I'm really surprised no one had mentioned that to me before... Guess it is time to do some major shoe shopping! I decided to go with the suit... Thanks for all the support and suggestions. I found an ok pair of white shoes that will pass, I guess. I'm not completely sold on them but I think it will be okay... I know this is majorly off topic but yesterday I emailed a former music professor of mine that I always knew was Mormon and let him know what was happening. I actually did my applied piano with his wife and would be at their home for lessons... He emailed me back and then she also emailed me last night and what she said brought tears to my eyes and simply confirms that what I am experiencing now has been in the works for YEARS... and it is no wonder that this is all moving so quickly. There's more to it, but I'm in a rush to get back to work... Just know that I appreciate all the advice and support... and tonight at 7pm CST I'll be making this amazing commitment and I can hardly contain my excitement.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingnut Posted May 3, 2011 Report Share Posted May 3, 2011 Wow, I didn't realize that it had been requested that people not wear flip flops to church - and since I live in them, I'm really surprised no one had mentioned that to me before... Guess it is time to do some major shoe shopping!The comment alludes to flip-flops, but is literally non-specific. It's also address toward teenage girls, who I work with at church, and seem to have a propensity for overly casual attire at church. The entire paragraph referenced is this:I make a special appeal regarding how young women might dress for Church services and Sabbath worship. We used to speak of "best dress" or "Sunday dress," and maybe we should do so again. In any case, from ancient times to modern we have always been invited to present our best selves inside and out when entering the house of the Lord—and a dedicated LDS chapel is a "house of the Lord." Our clothing or footwear need never be expensive, indeed should not be expensive, but neither should it appear that we are on our way to the beach. When we come to worship the God and Father of us all and to partake of the sacrament symbolizing the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we should be as comely and respectful, as dignified and appropriate as we can be. We should be recognizable in appearance as well as in behavior that we truly are disciples of Christ, that in a spirit of worship we are meek and lowly of heart, that we truly desire the Savior's Spirit to be with us always.And the talk is found here: To Young Women Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bnaur Posted May 3, 2011 Report Share Posted May 3, 2011 Congrats! Focus not on the external... it will pass away... but this day witness a new beginning inside... that will never pass away. Be comfortable and enjoy your day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just_girl Posted May 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 3, 2011 Wingnut - thank you so much for posting where that came from - you certainly saved me a ton of time in trying to find it for myself! When time allows, I will most certainly be reading the entire thing and praying about it... I know that some people find flip flops overly casual and I understand that - and they can be distracting at times, as well, but there are times when flip flops are, well, the shoe for me. I dont want to be rebellious or too casual, but... something to chew on, for sure. Another thing I find so interesting is the aspect of Sunday best... I grew up Community of Christ and it was always understood that we dressed differently for church than we did on a normal day, out of respect for what we were consecrating that day to... I can remember when I started wearing makeup that I sometimes would want to go without it on Sunday mornings in order to make my 'getting ready time' shorter and my mother would march me back to my room to apply it, or else I would have to go the entire week without it... If it was important enough to go through the process of applying makeup on a weekday, it was most certainly important enough to do so for church. Granted, the CofC is much more casual these days and I doubt my mother would respond to me in the same manner, but the concept of 'Sunday best' is not a new one for me to handle.... EEK... Time is getting close... there are a few things on the agenda before I leave (including figuring out where the ward is that we are holding the baptism - since it isn't the ward I have been to... as well as my son's soccer game...).... but I know that the time is right... While yesterday was full of turmoil and question, last night I realized none of that matters. Things have happened in the past 24 hours to confirm to me that what I am doing is right and I can stand firmly on those experiences and walk forward knowing that everything will work out. I cannot begin to describe what I am feeling... but I am ready... and thank you for all the support... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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