moocow Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 I go to a church university. I have broken the Law of Chastity. I only have one semester left and we are required to have an ecclesiastical endorsement before we can register for classes. My boyfriend and I want so badly to confess and make things right, but we're 80% sure we'll get kicked out of school. (We leave room for faith and miracles!) This will cost us lots of time and money since it's right smack dab in the middle of the semester. This isn't just a private thing between the bishop and us. It's everyone in our lives all becoming very aware that we broke the Law of Chastity and are kicked out. We'd have to move out and be outcasts basically. It sucks! Does anyone have any words of comfort? I hate life right now. I really really really don't want to lie to the Bishop. I never have, and I never intend to. Also, how bad is it to run away and elope? Just wondering. I'm almost 25 by the way. I know I sound like a teenager, but seriously I don't know what to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lost123 Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 That's a tough one but a realistic outcome to the consequences of breaking the Honor Code. But...if you are willing to bear the consequences...and repent with broken heart and a contrite spirit you will be able to have the greater miracle of forgiveness attend you and have a clear conscience. I recall in the book "Miracle of Forgiveness" by Spencer W. Kimball that he said to have a repentant heart means that you are willing to take all the consequences that come with it. Have courage. Talk to your Bishop...with a broken heart. Share your concerns...but be willing to bear the consequences. In the eternal scheme of things what really matters is not your schooling but your integrity. Take courage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LiterateParakeet Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 I am sorry that you are in this difficult situation. We all have and will make mistakes that put us in difficult circumstances sometimes. You are not alone. You made a mistake, and while it is serious, it is not the end. The commandments and the Honor Code are there to help. I agree with Lost123, keep the eternal perspective in mind. You can do this! What you will gain from doing the right thing will be far more precious to you, and of greater benefit than anything you lose, I promise. If people treat you like an outcast they are just showing theirlack of commitment to the Savior. If someone is truly following Christ, they will love you and accept you just as He does. Some people think that some sins are "less serious" than others and so judge others. While it is true that some sins do require talking to the Bishop and others do not...ALL sins make us unclean and unworthy to return to Father. Everyone of us needs the Atonement. Remember in the Book of Mormon (bare with me this will make sense in a moment), how the Lamanites, once converted to the gospel became rock solid in their faith, nothing could shake them. The Nephites on the other hand, went up and down in the pride cycle. I believe this was largely because the Lamanites had much repentance to do to come to Christ. When they came, they came with their whole hearts, they knew how much they needed the Atonement. The Nephites, on the other hand, (and sadly I think many in the church today are like this)...had what they viewed as "lesser sins", they were like the brother of the prodigal son thinking that what they had done was "less bad", and NOT understanding how much they needed the Savior so they went up and down in their testimonies. Do the right thing. Have courage, go to your Bishop. Experience the wonderful cleansing power of the Atonement, and you may come out of this like the Lamanites...steadfast and immoveable in your faith. And THAT is a blessing that is much more important than any degree or any other honor that can be achieved in this life. You can do this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john doe Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 Honesty is the best policy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zippy_do46 Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 As long as the two people whom this matters to the most know what they have done and know in their hearts that what they have done is aqainst what they believe in... it will not go away. You will feel guilty until you make it right between you and your Heavenly Father. I agree with John Doe. Honesty is the best policy. Satan works with these secrets. You set yourself up with a greater lost, the lost and comfort of the Holy Ghost. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningStar Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 Tell the truth. Go confess before it's time for your endorsement. If you lie, you will always feel bad about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 Tell the truth, always. Worse comes to worse, you transfer somewhere else and finish up. Realistically, it's unlikely you would have to do that. Maybe you'll have to stay an extra semester. But for the sake of your integrity, do what is right and let the consequence follow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 (edited) It's everyone in our lives all becoming very aware that we broke the Law of Chastity and are kicked out. We'd have to move out and be outcasts basically.They'd only be aware if you told them. You Bishop shouldn't be making any announcements and BYU won't either. Though I suppose folks may make some assumptions. Also, if the people in your life will make you outcasts and essentially shun you I'm not sure they're particularly worth having as part of your life (or rather being particularly upset when they decide to stop being so). It's like faith weather friends on steroids. Edited June 12, 2011 by Dravin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tubaloth Posted June 12, 2011 Report Share Posted June 12, 2011 When has wickedness ever lead to happiness? You know what you did is wrong, do you think the Law/code shouldn't apply to you? Its not going to be easy. But reptence is having a change of Heart. Its their to help you be stronger! Its their to allow the Atonement to take part in your life? Do you really want to skip out on allowing the Atonement to heal you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moocow Posted June 13, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2011 Thank you all for your encouragement! I am just scared, but I know that true repentance means being willing to take the consequences. I need to be more humble about this and realize that the Lord is merciful to forgive me so I shouldn't expect Him to take away all consequences to my error. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lost123 Posted June 13, 2011 Report Share Posted June 13, 2011 Thank you all for your encouragement! I am just scared, but I know that true repentance means being willing to take the consequences. I need to be more humble about this and realize that the Lord is merciful to forgive me so I shouldn't expect Him to take away all consequences to my error.Very mature words. Maturity arises from taking ownership and responsibility of our actions. Blessings will come as you move forward in that direction. It may not prove to be an easy path but if you are obedient and sincere it will be a testimony to you of the miracle of the atonement. I have great respect for those who show enough humility and love for God by repenting and coming unto Christ. We all have need for the Savior's atonement - each and every one of us. Just remember that you are not a horrible person and have faith in the miracle of being clean and whole again through the Lord's mercy. That is the beauty of the atonement.I encourage you to NOT delay. Call your Bishop today to set up an appointment. Pick up the phone. It won't be easy....BUT it IS necessary. Exercise faith. Remember to be humble, full in your confession, and express a contrite heart. If you wish, you could even ask the Bishop to give you a blessing to help give you courage on your road of repentance.The hardest thing about sin is truly abandoning it when there are two people involved in the picture. Be sure to address this issue.In this life we are here to see if we will do all things that the Lord commands. Repentance is one of them. The path may be hard and the road might be long and the consequences difficult....but...it will be worth it if you stick to the course.Take courage! People like you who do the right thing inspire me to do likewise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rameumptom Posted June 13, 2011 Report Share Posted June 13, 2011 While a college degree is important, your eternal destiny is more important. Eloping does not negate the fact that you have sinned - you still need to repent of the sin. Get with the bishop and hope that they will forgive you. If not, use the experience to learn from. You can always get a degree from another school. Many of us do have non-BYU degrees and somehow seem to manage alright. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted June 13, 2011 Report Share Posted June 13, 2011 I do support you in being honest about this. All will work out, whether you graduated from a church school or somewhere else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennarator Posted June 13, 2011 Report Share Posted June 13, 2011 (edited) I'm with everyone else. As easy as it would be to lie now and finish, then repent, I think that is a sure way to feel guilty and make the process of repenting much harder. You might get kicked out, or you might get a suprising and different result. Either way, if you are truthful and confess, you will not regret it. (That is if you truly repent and have the change of heart to go with it.) Edited June 13, 2011 by Jennarator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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