Fellowship

[prisonchaplain]

I said something the other day in a sermon--and it really struck a nerve with a former LDS person in the chapel. It was on off-hand comment, and she actually liked it. I said, "Mormons look the way we want to look." I believe I was speaking about holiness, and mentioned the modesty, etc. This individual came up afterwards and agreed with what I said. She wanted some balanced information, and I got her the How Wide the Divide book.

All this got me to thinking...what, more than anything, do LDS do, that I find lacking in our Protestant churches? The answer has to be FELLOWSHIP. That aspect of your faith that is so tiring, and sometimes all-encompassing...with home teaching, various meetings and obligations, is also very New Testament--y'all are together a lot!

Alas, this being together is something that can be misunderstood, even by members. Does it become burdensome, and seem obligatory? Perhaps like the company get-togethers of yesterday--"mandatory fun!"

So...what say ye...is the abundant fellowship of LDS living a blessing, a burden...probably both...but more of which one? Do people sometimes go inactive, just to get rest?

[pam]

I do believe that one of the ways we lose new converts is overwhelming them. While we think we are doing them a service by asking them to assist with service projects, bring meals in, etc etc., it can be quite overwhelming for someone who is not used to doing so much. By trying to fellowship or make them feel part of the group, it can sometimes have the opposite effect.

[skippy740]

It can be made worse if they get the impression that they're not supposed to turn anything down too.

[pam]

It can be made worse if they get the impression that they're not supposed to turn anything down too.

Which is how many of them see it.

[Vort]

I said something the other day in a sermon--and it really struck a nerve with a former LDS person in the chapel. It was on off-hand comment, and she actually liked it. I said, "Mormons look the way we want to look." I believe I was speaking about holiness, and mentioned the modesty, etc. This individual came up afterwards and agreed with what I said. She wanted some balanced information, and I got her the How Wide the Divide book.

All this got me to thinking...what, more than anything, do LDS do, that I find lacking in our Protestant churches? The answer has to be FELLOWSHIP. That aspect of your faith that is so tiring, and sometimes all-encompassing...with home teaching, various meetings and obligations, is also very New Testament--y'all are together a lot!

Alas, this being together is something that can be misunderstood, even by members. Does it become burdensome, and seem obligatory? Perhaps like the company get-togethers of yesterday--"mandatory fun!"

So...what say ye...is the abundant fellowship of LDS living a blessing, a burden...probably both...but more of which one? Do people sometimes go inactive, just to get rest?

Speaking for myself, PC, I do not find it overwhelming. I appreciate it. In the LDS Church, you tend to hear the phrase "ward family" a lot. In some wards, these are just empty words, but my ward really does feel like a family. I suppose you could draw the parallel out further and talk about family squabbles and "dysfunctions", but the bottom line is that I feel that I am among friends and siblings when I'm at Church. They know my idiosyncracies and weirdness, but somehow they accept me and act glad to see me. They embrace my family, ask about how my kids are, and congratulate them on achievement.

I do not believe these things are uniquely LDS. I certainly hope they are not. But I appreciate your recognition that the Church tries to foster such feelings, and I agree with you. For my part, I think the effort is well-received. I see little pretense and a lot of sincere effort on the part of the ward members -- and not only from the fabled 20% who do 80% of the work.

[Guest saintish]

I say it can definitely be overwhelming, too many members think that they will be looked down upon if they miss a meeting here or there or if they aren't perfect with home / visiting teaching. I think LDS (generally speaking) have to find their own balance and work from there.

[prisonchaplain]

Is this a case of "To whom much is given much is required?" I am convinced people crave koinania (fellowship), but, due to cultural shifts, do not always know how to handle or respond to it.

[Suzie]

Prisonchaplain, the short answer is yes. A lot of our members are concern over numbers and figures and "get the job done" rather than the spiritual aspect of fellowshipping which of course totally throws off the purpose of it all. So really, it depends on location and the members of a particular ward. We cannot really state that fellowshipping is great in the LDS Church or is terrible because it varies. Having said that, retention is a big problem which would indicate some problems in these areas.

[Guest saintish]

Having said that, retention is a big problem which would indicate some problems in these areas.

I am not convinced that fellowship is the reason for poor retention, I think that has more to do with converts befriending missionaries that go home and spiritually biting off more than they can chew I think that is why Paul says milk before meat but with the world wide web its far too easy for an infant to choke on a t-bone, or they are simply overwhelmed by what is required by the church. Long story short, I doubt the problem is as much fellowship as it is other factors.

[BenRaines]

I love the fellowship found in the LDS church from both a giving and receiving end. I believe it is what you make it.

Ben Raines

[rameumptom]

I think a big difference has to do with the structures of the faiths. Most Christian churches have a paid ministry, while we are lay clergy. It is expected of us to chip in and do things, because we do not have a paid clergy to do it for us.

We do get cautioned about having too many meetings and activities, as it can go to the other extreme and be a burden on families. When Mom and Dad are always playing taxi for a kid, it means the family isn't together doing things as a family. And that can be a bad thing, as family/individual is the center focus of the Church.

That said, there is nothing wrong with turning some meetings or activities down. I do it frequently, because in the callings I have there just aren't enough hours in the day to do them all. I am on the stake high council, and assigned to assist our Spanish branch. So, I have meetings regarding stake issues. I also spend all day every Sunday, Tuesday evenings, and often at least one other day doing things for the Spanish branch. I am frequently visiting the members in their homes, or sitting privately with them in Church as they seek counsel. Being Hispanic, they have activities going on all the time. I have to beg off on half of those activities. Still, I'll probably take a few days off work to spend at Scout Camp in July to help out, as well as everything else I do.

[Vort]

I think a big difference has to do with the structures of the faiths. Most Christian churches have a paid ministry, while we are lay clergy. It is expected of us to chip in and do things, because we do not have a paid clergy to do it for us.

I was going to respond with something about how those "paid clergy" aren't really paid very much and how we should be very cautious about making such comparisons...but then I thought about what you wrote, and I changed my mind. I think you're right.

When you have a "paid clergy", however much or little that pay might be, the natural tendency on the part of the "flock" is to assume that it's the clergyman's job. Hey, that's what we pay him for! Whereas on the local LDS level, such feelings are much diminished. Sure, some will still say, "It's the bishop's headache." (Or RS pres, or whoever.) But most members realize that these men and women are donating their time. I think you're right; that does engender more of a spirit of volunteerism.

[bytor2112]

I think "fellowshipping" is a weakness for many members of the LDS church. Cliquish behavior among adults and kids often leave some members new and otherwise with a feeling that we are cold and uncaring and not very friendly. This isn't everyone's experience but is the experience of many. As the EQP I have been meeting with lot's of inactives and it is a common theme. Bottom line is we can and should do a better job.

As far as home teaching and visiting teaching goes, it is hit and miss. Some do it with a fervor and are very consistent...others not so much.

[prisonchaplain]

We're on a slightly different track now...but it's related. My outside observation is that your system of "callings" has more to do with volunteerism than whether the leadership is paid. New members quickly learn that part of ward life is callings, and that everyone does them...it's part of the new life. If everyone (for the most part) is pitching in, then pitch in we shall!

Perhaps, to a lesser extent, many meetings are also a kind of calling--to fellowship. It's not just offered, it's somewhat expected. So, turn out is better. However, again, some may find the expectations overwhelming, because they are so counter-cultural--at least in the U.S.

[MorningStar]

I don't find it overwhelming at all. I love it! But then I'm quite social.

[rameumptom]

Bytor,

Those are problems found in every faith. The difference is again the expectation. Protestants expect the paid clergy to provide programs for them to attend when they want. We expect the members to create the programs for themselves. Many feel left out because they want to have the Protestant experience of just showing up and having fun, rather than pitching in and working. Yes, we have cliques. But so do other religions. It isn't unique to us.

[spamlds]

"Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God; And are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone; In whom all the building fitly framed together groweth unto an holy temple in the Lord: In whom ye also are builded together for an habitation of God through the Spirit."

The fellowship of the saints is something to be prized. When I joined the Church at the age of 19, I wanted to immerse myself in it totally. I was impetuous, like Peter, when the Lord washed his feet at the Last Supper. I wanted not "just the feet" but the "head," too! Wise leaders guided me along the way and helped give my idealistic enthusiasm a dose of realism. I was blessed with good friends who were also good examples. Very literally, they could say, "Do as I do."

Twenty months after I joined the Church, I entered the Missionary Training Center in Provo. That was probably the biggest trial of my faith up to that time. Having to learn a foreign language so rapidly was difficult. I also expected that the elders there would all be like Ammon or Captain Moroni. I was dismayed at the silly games and lightmindedness among these lifelong members. In turn, the like playing a lot of childish pranks on me, which made me feel somewhat isolated and homesick. I was too young in the gospel to realize that this was all a natural part of growing up and growing into the spirit of missionary work.

One night, as I wrote in my journal, about three weeks into the MTC, it dawned on me that I could just leave. There was nothing to stop me from just walking out the door, buying a plane ticket, and going wherever I wanted to. I had a bank account full of money to last me for two years. I had lived in Alaska in my high school years--it crossed my mind to just return back there and resume life as it was before I had ever joined the Church.

Then it hit me. No matter where I would go or what I would do, I would still KNOW that the Church was true. I would still KNOW that God had spoken to my heart and told me that Joseph was a prophet and that the Book of Mormon was true. I could not "un-know" that ever again.

I realized that this knowledge had bound me to others who had that same testimony. I live far from Utah and almost everyone I am around every day is a non-Mormon. There is a kind of loneliness that sets in--a sense of being a "stranger in a strange land" like Abraham. When I am among the saints, there is a palpable sense of joy, of being "understood." Paul described it as knowing as we are known (1 Corinthians 13:12).

On the few chances I have had to visit Utah, there is a great joy of being around a large concentration of members. The cashier in the store with the CTR ring is nice and friendly instead of insolent and rude like the ones at home. The waitress in Denny's doesn't automatically show up with a coffee pot in hand. Nobody blinks when I tell them I have five kids. I don't have to explain why my oldest sons didn't go to college right away, but chose to serve missions for the Church. There's a whole level of understanding that goes beyond mere culture. There are just different expectations and a person with a testimony finds that very comforting to find those expectations observed en masse.

Like the passage from Ephesians 2 that I cited above, the Spirit of the Lord and the common unity that comes from being built upon the foundation of apostles and prophets (whom the rest of the world rejects) is a gift from heaven. The fellowship of the saints can't be manufactured. The devil tests it at times, but it endures as part of the testimony of Christ and his restored gospel. The same spirit that kept the handcart pioneers pulling together is what unites the saints in fellowship today.