Tired of it all

[Guest rvrwlkr]

This is probably the wrong place to vent ... but I guess I'll do it anyway.

Have been a very active member my whole life (I'm 50). I'm realizing now that I don't have a testimony and I'm tired of religion in general. I feel nothing when I'm at church -- well actually I do feel something .. boredom and irritation, but not any positive feelings. I think I've been blindly following my whole life and I'm now waking up and wanting a change. Hard part is that my husband is totally active and sure of his beliefs, as are my parents and his. They would all be devastated if I were to "fall away" or whatever you want to call it. Some of my children are active, some aren't. I also don't want to shake their beliefs. I know they would be shocked if I became inactive.

But going to church makes me miserable. And I'm tired of being told to read scriptures and pray every day. I've tried and tried. It doesn't work for me. I feel nothing. I don't want to do it anymore. Can anyone else out there relate to this at all?

[texas1992]

Yes, I can relate. After my divorce I didn't want to go to church. I went just so that my kids could see me go. I have to do some real soul searching. It took over a year but I have come to realize that I am better off with the gospel and going to church than I am without. I am taking the time to really learn what is in the scriptures. I take notes as I read so that I can understand better. I don't just read them like I used to read a text book in college...you know where you can read several pages and not have a clue what you just read?

This may not be for you but I have gotten to where I don't like to miss church. I go to the temple every week on a day when there won't be many people there. That way I can sit and ponder or just relax and get away from the daily life. I spend the whole day there so I can do whatever I want. I can just sit in the celestial room, do sealings, do endowments, talk to workers, anything. It is up to me to decide.

Believe me it was extremely hard to stay active after my divorce. My bishop suggested that I not have a calling and stop home teaching so that I could focus on me. I did this and it has been great. I am ready for a calling and to start home teaching again. I have become very involved in service. My attitude and outlook towards the church have really changed.

Hope this helps.

[rameumptom]

What are YOU doing to be spiritually alive? If you expect Sunday services, led by a lay ministry that struggles with its own testimony, to uplift you significantly every week, then you are in the wrong Church.

You need to feed yourself spiritually. If you are worn out by Church, it is because you are just going through the motions, but not really feeding your soul. That is only your own fault for not making a close and wonderful relationship with God and Christ. Church is there to help you renew covenants, and to assist those who know little about the gospel, etc. (like small children, or converts). We, especially if we are 50 years old and long time members, are responsible for our own conversions and testimonies. Figure out what you are missing spiritually, and then motivate yourself to obtain it. And then maintain it.

[FunkyTown]

I would say:

Do you know what it is, specifically, that you're struggling with? Is it that you aren't feeling the Spirit? That you simply go to church and feel irritated that you didn't get to sleep in?

Is it a specific part of the doctrine you're struggling with?

Once you've figured out what it is you're actually struggling with, you'll probably know what the answer is.

[mnn727]

Been there, done that, got the T-Shirt -- must be something about being in your 50's.

Anyway, I taught Elders quorum for a long time and all the lessons boil down to doing the basics. An exciting Church (and they are out there) lets you down during the week. it takes daily spiritual nourishment to lead back to Heavenly Father and for that you need to be involved daily.

Let me tell you some things that helped me though:

Get a modern language Bible for your personal study, get a few of them.

Read a conference talk every day -- The Ensigns go back over 30 years online at LDS.org

Listen to spiritual music on the way to work instead of whatever you normally listen to.

Study scripture by topic rather than book by book, follow up with the teachings of the Presidents of the Church on that same topic.

Keep in mind we all go through this at one time or another.

[skippy740]

Aside from Lamoni's prayer in the Book of Mormon, there's another quote I like to share. It's from one of my favorite movies - Secondhand Lions:

Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; and I want you to remember this, that love... true love never dies. You remember that, boy. You remember that. Doesn't matter if it's true or not. You see, a man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing in.

Now sometimes, we just need a break. Time to collect our thoughts and assess things while communicating with God.

When we're not right spiritually (for whatever reason or even NO reason), church can just "get in the way" and be bothersome. Take stock of what may have happened in the last few years to see why you are feeling the way you do. Then pray about it.

So you miss a few weeks. No big deal. You don't have to make some announcement to your family.

[mrmarklin]

This is probably the wrong place to vent ... but I guess I'll do it anyway.

Have been a very active member my whole life (I'm 50). I'm realizing now that I don't have a testimony and I'm tired of religion in general. I feel nothing when I'm at church -- well actually I do feel something .. boredom and irritation, but not any positive feelings. I think I've been blindly following my whole life and I'm now waking up and wanting a change. Hard part is that my husband is totally active and sure of his beliefs, as are my parents and his. They would all be devastated if I were to "fall away" or whatever you want to call it. Some of my children are active, some aren't. I also don't want to shake their beliefs. I know they would be shocked if I became inactive.

But going to church makes me miserable. And I'm tired of being told to read scriptures and pray every day. I've tried and tried. It doesn't work for me. I feel nothing. I don't want to do it anymore. Can anyone else out there relate to this at all?

I have had this feeling many times, even though I'm a hard-core believer.

I have met many in your situation, and I'm speculating a little bit, but I'm assuming you're a "social" Mormon who was raised in the church and "went along" with all the programs because they are good ones, all your friends were Mormons, and a lot of the social activities were centered around church activities as well.

I'm not a social Mormon, but in my early days had a lot of doubts about the church. I solved those doubts by praying and it is a good solution.

That being said I let a lot of the "guilt trips" of Mormonism go by. I don't read the scriptures every day (actually hardly ever), don't pay a lot of attention to the exhortations to do Home teaching, attend the Temple a lot (two activities that bore me) and many of the other things that a lot of us are guilted into doing. I truly believe that one does not have to do "everything" to attain exhaltation. God can see our limitations.

The above being said, realize that the Church is essentially a volunteer organization, and one must put something back. I enjoy teaching, and have steered all my callings in recent years in that direction.

Mormonism is a good way to live, and I've taught it to my children. I can honestly say that the Church saved my wife's life (probably literally) in her youth and looking back on it, mine as well.

Ultimately, you need to ignite your faith through prayer. And I don't mean those silly repetitions that we all know about, and don't go any higher than the roof. God wants to help you carve out your own niche of Salvation, but He can't do it alone.

There are some good books on Prayer, and you owe it to yourself and your family to read one and follow its urgings.

Edited August 8, 2011 by mrmarklin

[ThatLDSKiD]

I think you should talk to the Bishop and consider visiting the Temple if possible. Whenever one visits the Temple they feel the Spirit and it can be overwhelming. That may strengthen your Faith. I know people that toured the newly constructed Temple in Georgia when there was an open house, and they said they were shocked to feel the Spirit (but they didn't realize it was the Spirit), and they weren't even members!

[ConvinceTheWorld]

Edited August 11, 2011 by ConvinceTheWorld

[slamjet]

To each their own. Be righteous and you have nothing to worry about.

And that's not exactly helpful.

[ConvinceTheWorld]

And that's not exactly helpful.

either was that post.

Being "tired of it all" and not going to church, praying, or reading scriptures - you are cutting yourself off from the church. Does that matter as much as being "cut off" from the prescence of God?

13. O remember, remember, my son Helaman, how strict are the commandments of God. And he said: If ye will keep my commandments ye shall prosper in the land—but if ye keep not his commandments ye shall be cut off from his presence. (alma 37:14)

Alma 36:13 Yea, I did remember all my sins and iniquities, for which I was tormented with the pains of hell; yea, I saw that I had rebelled against my God, and that I had not kept his holy commandments.

So yes, Being righteous is the answer.

Edited August 9, 2011 by ConvinceTheWorld

[slamjet]

either was this pointless post.

Wow, underwhelming.

[Guest tbaird22]

My recommendations have pretty much already been said BUT if theres one thing you should do (besides going to the temple) listen to church talks on your ipod instead of actual music. Two good (and funny) ones for you would be:

1. Weed your spirit Grow your testimony

2. The best three hours of the week

theyre both by john bytheway

and free on itunes

[ConvinceTheWorld]

This is probably the wrong place to vent ... but I guess I'll do it anyway.

Have been a very active member my whole life (I'm 50). I'm realizing now that I don't have a testimony and I'm tired of religion in general. I feel nothing when I'm at church -- well actually I do feel something .. boredom and irritation, but not any positive feelings. I think I've been blindly following my whole life and I'm now waking up and wanting a change. Hard part is that my husband is totally active and sure of his beliefs, as are my parents and his. They would all be devastated if I were to "fall away" or whatever you want to call it. Some of my children are active, some aren't. I also don't want to shake their beliefs. I know they would be shocked if I became inactive.

But going to church makes me miserable. And I'm tired of being told to read scriptures and pray every day. I've tried and tried. It doesn't work for me. I feel nothing. I don't want to do it anymore. Can anyone else out there relate to this at all?

I just came here and seen my son was logged in and this post touched my heart. i am a 40yr old convert i want to start out by thanking you for being honest and "venting', i have had the same feelings and have felt jealousy of women who were raised in the church and gave their children the foundation for a testimony with primary and family home evenings that my children got a late start and were not as prepared spiritually for life. hearing you say some of your children are active some are not i am wondering if you realize the wonderful gifts you gave them just by attending each week. Things they use daily and are teaching your grandchildren. This world is overwhelming with all the sin and temptation in it. Members or not all your children have learned value of family, service and integrity from you taking them to church. They are so lucky to have had an up bring in your home. Recently i have not been attending church regularly as my 15yr old daughter has become very ill. It seemed easier each week to make excuses not to go. The people from church especially from her class have done so much to lift her spirits and showed more compassion than most of our adult friends and extended family. I realize now how lucky we are to be converts, like little children learning scriptures and doctrine even church history. We know the difference of what life is like without the Holy Spirit and it is hard and hopeless, just knowing you can be with your family for eternity is something we should all be shouting from the roof tops! From not attending sacrament each weak my faith lessened i stopped reading scripture as much even my non-believing husband notice i had lost my glow. I am not sure if i am in any position to give advice but some of the things others have written didn’t sound helpful at all. I think you should go back to basics like talking to Heavenly Father about how you feel, going to gospel principal class (its converts and missionaries) or reading the book from the class. I let the bible open itself sometimes and it amazes me that every time it will be exactly what i need. Satan is sneaky and i hope he doesn’t get trick you into thinking that there is anything out there in this world that is going to bring you the peace in your heart as the church.

"Wherefore, stand ye in holy places, and be not moved, until the day of the Lord come."

D&C 87:8

[pam]

May I recommend registering with your own account?

[ZorabelMay]

In times like this, I usually ask Heavenly Father opportunity to serve other people so I can feel the spirit,.

It has been written in the scriptures that all good things come from God and all the bad from evil.

[Guest mormonmusic]

I'm in that place right now. I go because my kids need it and I don't want to destroy my wife's faith. I have a testimony but after almost 30 years of the Church it gets boring sometimes. I have a few suggestions:

1. See if you can get some time away from Church for a legitimate reason. These odd breaks really add some variety for me and I feel a little better when I come back to Church the following week.

2. You could visit one of your less active children depending on their age and location. Stay with them over the weekend and thus skip out of Church and get a rest with them.

3. Don't buy into the "If you don't feel spiritual, who moved?" argument (the one that implies it's all your fault if you're not into the meetings). Sometimes, Church service and experience is just plain tedious. As soon as I acknowledged and let myself have that, I felt better.

4. At Church, I give myself license to leave a meeting that is not uplifting. I find a room and read something that is uplifting, and it isn't always Church literature, it may be something that I find plain interesting. My Kindle is my best friend. Give yourself an hour here and there to read something that is truly meaningful to you. As some will say, trade up during that hour occasionally.

5. Find reasons for doing the habits of our religion that go beyond the standard reasons you hear, particularly if you are doing those things out of duty. I find that duty service is very wearing. For example, I'm a faithful home teacher and have been for almost 30 years.

I don't do it "because I have the priesthood" or "because it supports my local leaders". I do it as a way of helping myself be a charitable person. I don't naturally gravitate to service anymore (although I used to), so keeping up with home teaching helps me get outside of myself. That's my only reason for doing it now -- not the other reasons.

Good luck, I hear you on all these things.

Edited September 13, 2011 by mormonmusic

[Mhcapa55]

Hope all is well.

God can cause all things to work together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

Sometimes if you step back and look at things from a macro/ long term view you can see how what seemed like a hard time, God ultimately used to teach you something, or put you in the right place at right time, etc and something good came out of it all - that maybe you wouldn't have learned whatever it was, or wound up with the good that came etc.

 

I took about 7 to 8 weeks off at one point when things seemed difficult.  I thought I was doing what God wanted, I was trying to do the right things etc.

It drove me to a point where I questioned.  I was going I am doing what I think God wants and trying to do things the right way, why are things so hard?!?

What ended up happening was after prayer and seeking God, I got this huge hunger to read the scriptures.  Not the cliff notes, not the little daily amount, not a speech about it.  

I put the Bible in chronological order.

I then spent the next 7 to 8 weeks waking up, praying, then beginning my day reading - not just to read - but scrutinizing it.

Im self employed, so I put scripture as first priority.  Did only the absolutely necessary stuff with work.  Was out in the country.  Kept the TV off.  Minimal cell phone.   Kinda just buffered myself from the outside world and focused on God and the Bible.

I stopped when I got to a verse or passage that didn't seem clear at first.  Looked at multiple Bible versions, a concordance and hebrew and Greek lexicon, and moved on when I felt I understood the verse or passage.

I have notebooks full of notes from that time.  I'd take a lunch break then back to it until dinner. 

There was some extremely peaceful time then.  It was amazing.  And if I hadn't had gotten to that point of just ... Ugh.. I don't know if I ever would've done that.  It was so worth it.  I thank God for the desire He put in me to do that.

I've since read it all the way through multiple times using morning and some evenings, digging even deeper.  It's started to become an annual thing for me.

And I found that if I put it in chronological order, divide it up into 365 days, and start day 1 on Pentecost, a lot of the days, feasts, events etc in the Bible fall on or close to the days when I'm actually reading about them in the Bible.  

It's pretty cool, especially after I learned that the Jews celebrated the day of Pentecost as the day they received the Torah.

I'd recommend putting the Bible in chronological order, taking time away, prayerfully seek God ask for the Holy Spirit to give you eyes to see and help to understand what you're reading, then dive in.  

I recognize that's what I was led to do in my situation, and maybe God has something different for you, it all starts with seeking God though.  

Peace

[Sunday21]

Hi! Hugs. I feel like this from time to time. I find keeping the Sabbath to be tough. Guess what I am teaching in RS for the next 4 months! 

I would not stepback but rather step forward. Go to the Tempe or for a walk on the grounds? Read your favorite scriptures? Pour out your heart in prayer? Have good whine? Can you volunterr to help out somewhere, with an activity