dsholly59 Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 I am a recovering alcoholic. A few nights ago I drank for the first time in 5 years. Nobody in my ward including my bishop is aware of what happened. When I slipped 5 years ago and drank, a lot of ward members were very judgemental. I am afraid to let anyone know what happened but the way I am feeling about slipping could cause another slip. Does anyone have any advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
james12 Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 Five years is a long time. To have been clean for that long probably means you have made significant changes to your life. While of course not good, one mistake does not put you back at square one. It does not erase all the changes you have made nor all the self control you have gained. So don't make the issue bigger than it is or compound it by supposing that since you had one drink you might as well have two. I don't think you need to let your whole ward know what happened. If your married, let your wife know. Go to the bishop, discuss it with him and get back on the path. He should keep that confidence. If you address this now by repenting and increasing your resolve to do right this will simply be another obstacle you overcame in your progress towards eternal life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 I am a recovering alcoholic. A few nights ago I drank for the first time in 5 years. Nobody in my ward including my bishop is aware of what happened. When I slipped 5 years ago and drank, a lot of ward members were very judgemental. I am afraid to let anyone know what happened but the way I am feeling about slipping could cause another slip. Does anyone have any advice.You need support, much more than anonymous people on an internet discussion list can provide. Go see your bishop immediately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennarator Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 Keep in mind, right now it is a slip, not a relaps. See the bishop. He will make it real for you and help you to repent and get rid of the guilt, before it becomes a relaps. No one else needs to know! Stay strong! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prisonchaplain Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 I would think there would be some AA-type support groups in your area. If its one with a large LDS population, you might even find that you are not alone in fighting against something violates a core prohibition of your church. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mormonmusic Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 · Hidden Hidden You will have to decide the costs and benefits of a confession. Definitely, don't let anyone in the general public know about your slip-up. If judgmentalism is alive in well in your Ward, this will only hurt. Also, it's none fo their business. So I would hold this close to the vest as far as home teachers, and anyone else in the Ward or Stake or even certain family is concerned if unChristlike attitudes are likely to discourage you. I think the average Bishop would be thrilled you have been successful for so long. I suppose if you have a temple recommend the pull to confess will be stronger. I would probably go see him after praying about it and determining it's the best thing. But what matters the most, in my view, is that you don't get discouraged with yourself about this. I have been in your position with respect to weight-loss programs. When you slip up, you need to get back on that horse immediately. Don't let this little slip up knock you off the path. That is more important than just about anything we can talk about here. Link to comment
NeuroTypical Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 When I slipped 5 years ago and drank, a lot of ward members were very judgemental. I am afraid to let anyone know what happened but the way I am feeling about slipping could cause another slip. Does anyone have any advice.Yep - find someone who knows something about it to get some support. And yeah, your average mormon is totally clueless about what it means to be an Alcoholic. Telling them will tend to not help.LDS Social Services may have an addiction recovery program in your area - I know it's loosely based on the Alcoholics Anonymous 12-step model. There will be AA meetings in your area. My advice would be to shop around at various support groups, until you find one that works for you.5 years is a wonderful thing. Now you have your new goal - pass 5 years this time around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMGuy Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 There is no doctrinal requirement to report a WoW lapse to authority. With that being said, and with your admitted history, it might be a good idea to share your on-going struggle and lapse. Perhaps the bishop is the best place to start, perhaps it is engaging/reengaging with your local AA chapter, or the church's own addiction recovery program if one is active in your area. It is good that you recognize the challenge and the slip. The question is what do YOU need to help keep you firmly on the wagon? Determine and act accordingly. -RM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenRaines Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 I was not aware that having a drink or a few drinks was one of the issues you went to the Bishop about. I guess if you are having trouble and would like some support but it is not one of the things that NEED to be confessed to the Bishop, as far as I am aware. Ben Raines Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 I was not aware that having a drink or a few drinks was one of the issues you went to the Bishop about. I guess if you are having trouble and would like some support but it is not one of the things that NEED to be confessed to the Bishop, as far as I am aware.In my opinion, this is not about confession. It is about getting support before you slide all the way down the hill again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennarator Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 In my opinion, this is not about confession. It is about getting support before you slide all the way down the hill again.My thoughts exactly. It's to keep it from turning into a full relapes. Sorta like having a diet buddy or workout partner. Things are easier (tho still hard) when you have someone to talk to about it. Keeps rationalizing another drink from happening and all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenRaines Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 Vort, agreed. If looking for support and have no one then Bishop is good place to start. I do know that many things that do not need to be brought to the Bishop are. Many things that should be handled by Home Teachers, Quorum Leaders, etc are not because many in the membership prefer to go to the Bishop. I am reminded of Moses when he was sitting in counsel over every little thing that happened among the children of Israel as they traveled in the wilderness. His father in law finally told him that he needed to divide the responsibility to hear the issues and only the serious matters came before him. We need to remember that today too. Ben Raines Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bytor2112 Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 I have been clean and sober for 6 1/2 years :) and thankfully the desire to drink is entirely gone. I am a living breathing miracle of the Atonement. The pain that I was masking and the self loathing that I endured for much of my adult life has been healed. I would think, that if you have had a relapse, that you still carry something that hasn't been resolved entirely. Some scar from the past or pain that still troubles you? You really do have to go through quite a few steps to take a drink......head to the bar or package store, so perhaps there are other areas that are a miss? Don't give in, seek help....seek the Lord and your Bishop. Though, I think lifelong members that have never been down the lonely road of alcoholism struggle to understand the pain and trap of the disease. So, if your Bishop doesn't get it...try AA and take it "one day at a time". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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