lisajo Posted October 2, 2006 Report Share Posted October 2, 2006 You know your from Utah when..................... Green jell-o with carrots mixed in doesn't seem strange. You can pronounce Tooele. The U is not just a letter - Neither is the Y. You have actually eaten funeral potatoes. You've gotten both heat and frost burns off your car's door handle in the same month. You are not surprised to hear words like "Darn, Fetch, Flip", "Oh, My Heck" and "Shoot". Your tulips get snowed on three times after they come up and twice more after they bloom. Hunting season is a school holiday. The largest liquor store is the state government. You can go skiing and play golf on the same day. 30% humidity is muggy and almost unbearable. Somewhere in your family tree is a polygamist. You know the difference between a 'Steak House' and a 'Stake House'. The elevation exceeds the population You've broken down on the highway and somebody stops to help you You can see the stars at night You have a bumper sticker that says "Families are Forever." You were an aunt or uncle before you were three. Your spouse's mother was pregnant at your wedding. You have more children than you can find biblical names for. Your family considers a trip to McDonald'd a night out.. Your first child was conceived on your honeymoon. You feel guilty when you watch Monday Night Football. Your kids believe the deer hunt is a national holiday. You drink Coke from a brown paper bag. You consider a temple recommend a credit reference. At least two of your salad bowls are at the homes of neighbors. You believe that you must be 18 or older to order coffee at a restaurant. You wonder why fire truck drivers honk when you drive 35 mph in the left lane on the freeway. There is a similarity between a ward basketball game and the L.A. riots. You think Jack Daniels is a country western singer. You negotiate prices at a garage sale. You can make Jell-O salad without the recipe. You've heard about BYU football in a testimony meeting. You have two gallons of ice cream in your freezer at all times. Your father-in-law thinks Ronald Reagan was a liberal. A member of your family wrote in Lavell Edwards for president in the last election. Cars in the slow lane are traveling the fastest; cars in the fast lane are traveling the slowest; cars in the middle lanes are always trying to exit. Sandals are the best-selling shoes. You have to ask for the uncensored version of "Titanic." Hotel rooms all have the Book of Mormon. You buy your wardrobe at the local grocery superstore. You learn about the Mormon Church by taking history in elementary school. You live in a state where Democrats always come in third place, unless a zoo animal is running. Then they come in fourth. You're on your own if you are turning left. Schools stay open, even if two feet of snow falls overnight, but close for the opening of hunting season. People wear shorts and T-shirts if the temperature rises above 32 degrees. There is a church on every corner, but they all teach the same thing. The most popular public transportation system is a ski lift. People drive to Idaho (or Arizona) to pick up a gallon of milk so they can play the lottery. In-state college football rivalries are bigger than the Super Bowl. Beer drinkers don't shop on Sunday. You don't have to breathe cigarette smoke until you walk outside a building. The cost of living rises while your salary drops. Every driveway has a minivan and a pickup truck. When you buy a new vehicle, cigarette lighters are optional equipment but gun and ski racks are standard. Every time a new family moves into your neighborhood, the local elementary school has to hire a new teacher. Your paycheck has an additional 10 percent deduction. "Temple recommends" is acceptable identification for cashing a check. More movies are filmed in your town than in Hollywood. You've never had a Mormon missionary knock on your door. (not true i have had them knock when i lived there) Your neighbors complain about where they live, yet refuse to return to the state they moved from. You make a toast with red punch at your wedding reception. You have more raw wheat stored than some Third World countries. Your idea of a good time is playing Pictionary in the cultural hall. Your idea of a wild party is a six pack of Pepsi and a PG-13 movie. You and all your friends come to your mother for a haircut in her kitchen. You measure Kool-Aid by parts per million. You think "You're a 10 cow wife" is a compliment. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Utah. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EricM Posted October 2, 2006 Report Share Posted October 2, 2006 Weeeeird, I just barely looked that up, and then I come here and there it is again! Regardless, funny stuff indeed. Except for the hunting holiday stuff, most of it I've seen before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindy Posted October 2, 2006 Report Share Posted October 2, 2006 ROFL LisaJo....thanks for sharing I take it Utah is big on hunting and football? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess3dward Posted October 2, 2006 Report Share Posted October 2, 2006 How much of that is fact? I am obviously not from Utah. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angelbaby Posted October 2, 2006 Report Share Posted October 2, 2006 Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? Laman: To usurp the authority of his older brother chickens and to take possession of their coop. Brigham Young: Because this is the right place in the road. Thomas: I don't really believe the chicken crossed the road. Noah: Are you sure there weren't two chickens? Lilburn W Boggs: I don't care which side of the road the chicken's on, you have permission to kill it. Elder's Quorum President: It was the 31st and he had to get his Home Teaching done. Relief Society President: That's where the refreshments were. The Doctrine and Covenants: "The duty of a chicken is to cross the road when there is no other poultry present." Mark Hoffman: Would you like to buy the chicken's original diary documenting his crossing of the road? Lamoni's servants: We don't know why it crossed the road; all we know is it's wings had been cut off. Martin Harris: I have never denied seeing the chicken cross the road. Temple Square Guide: The acoustics are so good you can hear the chicken cross the road from any seat in the Tabernacle. President Merrill J Bateman: I'm not so much concerned that the chicken crossed the road but that its feathers were not knee-length. Gerald Lund: Not only did this chicken cross the road, but his whole family crossed the road as well. The grand, panoramic story of this chicken's family will be told in my soon-to-be-released 36 volume set "The Cluck and the Glory." Nephi: It is better for a chicken to cross the road than a nation dwindle in unbelief. Lorenzo Snow: As the egg is, the chicken once was; as the chicken is, the egg may become. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrawberryFields Posted October 2, 2006 Report Share Posted October 2, 2006 How much of that is fact?I am obviously not from Utah.About 2/3 is basically true, the rest is tongue in cheek. Utah used to have a large percent of members of the church. Currently there are people from all area moving to UT and with them comes different religious affiliations. Here is something I found that tells us Utah's Mormon population shrinking. Data from 2004 shows the actually percentage is 62 percent, with each of the state's 29 counties showing a decrease in its Mormon population. I have been a Utah resident for most of my life and I do get these jokes. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisajo Posted October 2, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2006 I agree Stawberry, growing up there and still have lots of family most of it is true , we got outta school for hunting season and i remember them shutting the place i worked down for hunting season and BYU Utah games Not any one i know here knows how to say Tooele LOL , they argue with me about it (our old principale from the schools here was from there and went home on the weekends) i always go there when i go out to visit my famliy and son's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted October 2, 2006 Report Share Posted October 2, 2006 Those are both good. Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maureen Posted October 2, 2006 Report Share Posted October 2, 2006 Not any one i know here knows how to say Tooele LOL...The characters on the TV show Prison Break are in Tooele, Utah; last episode and this coming episode, digging for money.Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?angelbaby, those were great!M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess3dward Posted October 2, 2006 Report Share Posted October 2, 2006 Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?Laman: To usurp the authority of his older brother chickens and to take possession of their coop. Brigham Young: Because this is the right place in the road. Thomas: I don't really believe the chicken crossed the road. Noah: Are you sure there weren't two chickens? Lilburn W Boggs: I don't care which side of the road the chicken's on, you have permission to kill it. Elder's Quorum President: It was the 31st and he had to get his Home Teaching done. Relief Society President: That's where the refreshments were. The Doctrine and Covenants: "The duty of a chicken is to cross the road when there is no other poultry present." Mark Hoffman: Would you like to buy the chicken's original diary documenting his crossing of the road? Lamoni's servants: We don't know why it crossed the road; all we know is it's wings had been cut off. Martin Harris: I have never denied seeing the chicken cross the road. Temple Square Guide: The acoustics are so good you can hear the chicken cross the road from any seat in the Tabernacle. President Merrill J Bateman: I'm not so much concerned that the chicken crossed the road but that its feathers were not knee-length. Gerald Lund: Not only did this chicken cross the road, but his whole family crossed the road as well. The grand, panoramic story of this chicken's family will be told in my soon-to-be-released 36 volume set "The Cluck and the Glory." Nephi: It is better for a chicken to cross the road than a nation dwindle in unbelief. Lorenzo Snow: As the egg is, the chicken once was; as the chicken is, the egg may become.OH MY HECK! THOSE WERE FUNNY!I think oh my heck is the greatest saying in the world. I laugh just about every time I hear it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindy Posted October 3, 2006 Report Share Posted October 3, 2006 Not any one i know here knows how to say Tooele LOL , OK OK I give up... HOW do you say "tooele"? LOL I am clueless...oh and next question...... WHAT is it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrawberryFields Posted October 3, 2006 Report Share Posted October 3, 2006 <div class='quotemain'> Not any one i know here knows how to say Tooele LOL , OK OK I give up... HOW do you say "tooele"? LOL I am clueless...oh and next question...... WHAT is it? Look what I found LOLhttp://dictionary.reference.com/browse/TooeleDictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.0.1) - Cite This Source Too el e  /tu/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[too-el-uh] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –noun a town in NW Utah. 14,335. It's outside of the Salt Lake Valley by the Great Salt Lake.Now you know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisajo Posted October 3, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2006 TOOELE... Sounds Like ....... Ta Will a................LOL way different than it is spelled Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwen Posted October 3, 2006 Report Share Posted October 3, 2006 There is a Eutaw, Alabama and apparently (i just discovered) a Eutaw, Mississippi; pronounced the same as Utah. lol i just frigure it's the southern spelling of the word. i had never heard of Tooele. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisajo Posted October 3, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2006 There is a Eutaw, Alabama and apparently (i just discovered) a Eutaw, Mississippi; pronounced the same as Utah. lol i just frigure it's the southern spelling of the word. i had never heard of Tooele.LOL i live in a place called TONOPAH Nevada (try saying it!) and there also is another one in Arizona, It means little stream or little water i think it is Idian not sure Oh by the way Tooele is a lovely town Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrawberryFields Posted October 3, 2006 Report Share Posted October 3, 2006 Oh by the way Tooele is a lovely town "A world all of it's own" Which isn't a bad thing considering the ways of the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Dorsey Posted October 4, 2006 Report Share Posted October 4, 2006 I used to live in Lompoc, California.....Lompoc is a Chumash Indian word for "I urinate on your lawn"....No kidding! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prisonchaplain Posted October 4, 2006 Report Share Posted October 4, 2006 TOOELE... Sounds Like ....... Ta Will a................LOL way different than it is spelledPardon my Pacific NW accent, but is that like . . . 2 L.A.?I used to live in Lompoc, California.....Lompoc is a Chumash Indian word for "I urinate on your lawn"....No kidding!Considering it's a big prison town, I wouldn't doubt it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrawberryFields Posted October 4, 2006 Report Share Posted October 4, 2006 <div class='quotemain'>TOOELE... Sounds Like ....... Ta Will a................LOL way different than it is spelledPardon my Pacific NW accent, but is that like . . . 2 L.A.?too-el-uh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prisonchaplain Posted October 4, 2006 Report Share Posted October 4, 2006 too-el-uh Not AAAEEE, but ... UUUUHHHH? The Fonz will be so disappointed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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