Help me to come back to God

[RyanLDS]

Hello! Today I decided to write here because I don't know what I can do now, how I should act. I really need some advice from you. I need some support.

Last year I was classic member of the church. I attended it every Sunday, kept commandments, studied Scriptures and so on but then there was a change. As I live in Ukraine, there are few members and there were nobody of my age. If my outside the church friends had found out about my religion, they would have quitted even talking to me. So as they liked drinking, smoking and other bad stuff, I stopped hanging out with them. I needed some true friends and I hadn't. And then there in church I found some of my age to make friends. I helped them to believe in the truth of the church and everything was OK. But after a while, they stopped to believe and i followed them. Currently I started using bad language, receiving bad marks at school (I used to be an A student ), drinking a little and doing other not good things. Now I see they are not good for me. My life has been changed for the worse and I don't want to live that way. On the other hand, I don't know how I can change for the better. Now it seems to be ridiculous going to the church as nobody does. Sometimes I remembered how happy I was, I had all I wanted and I rejected it without realizing what I was doing. Also there in our branch are many people who attend church because they have money from church. There are many hypocrits in our branch. If I start to believe now again, I will be forced to forget the friends I have so then I will be alone at all, There are many problems in my life and I don't know how to get rid of them. i am on computer all the time 'cause life seems to be boring for me. I waste my time and I hate myself becouse of it. So what can I do? What choice should I make? Please advice me something 'cause I'm in despair. Thanks in advance and sorry for my mistakes, I hope you'll understand me.

[annewandering]

Dont feel like you are alone, to start with. It sounds like you are in a position to do great good. Make it your goal to help those in your branch. Do you have a church calling? If not ask for one. Branches, from what I understand, can always use willing members. You see problems in the branch? Think how you can help solve them, within your stewardship, of course.

[Backroads]

Take some time and separate your faith, testimony, and relationship with God from "church". Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of the LDS church. But you can't base your spirituality just on a checklist of church-related details. Are you praying? Meditating/listening to promptings? Are you taking time out of your day to get closer to God? While I agree that a lifestyle change of returning to church might possibly cost you your friends, there are some things to consider: Changing your life doesn't mean abandoning old friends/acting superior to them--don't sink down to their level, but continue to love and serve them and be there for them. If they won't be your friend because of your choices, that's up to them. Also, being alone for a time doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. Take some time to get to know yourself. Computers aren't necessarily evil and you can find many positive relationships online (some of us aren't all that dorky that you couldn't hang out here...). If you feel lazy, that you are wasting time, find a project for yourself. I'm prone to computers, so I have to write at least half an hour a day if I'm going to be on the computer. Find activities outside the computer. Find a book to read. Start a running/walking program. If you want to, you can find a worthwhile activity outside the computer. As for the hyprocrits in your branch... not your problem. Go to church for you and, as anne said, find a way to serve. Work in your calling, get one if you need to, and think about how YOU can serve the branch members, not wonder why they are at church.

[applepansy]

You are not alone. Heavenly Father is only a prayer away. There is also you Branch President. You should talk to him about what has been happening in your life. Repentance is an amazing process and you will find a stronger testimony and more happiness if you do what you need to do to change what you're doing.

I agree with Anne. Look around you and see where you can serve.

Being of service to those around us will make friends faster than anything. No matter how old we are we all need friends. Being in a branch probably means there aren't many friends your age who are members of the church. That is hard, but it gives you amazing opportunities to be an example by living the kind of life Christ would have you live. Being faithful to your baptismal covenant will bring you happiness. People will watch you and eventually they will want to have that kind of happiness in their life too.

If you live as you know you might find that your friends will respect you more. It is possible to have non-member friends and still be faithful.

Are you parents members? Have you talked with them?

[ZionsRodeVos]

Another way to look at your situation is to remember how you were taught the gospel and what led up to you joining the church. Remember the things the missionaries asked you to do and how they asked you to commit to obeying the commandments. You can do the same things again. Also you could ask the missionaries for help too.

I was raised in the church but left it for a few years. It was while I was in Okinawa, Japan for six months while in the military that I heard a program that told me how the music I was listening to had messages from Satan in them. Three days later I decided I would start attending church again once I got back to the US. I started praying again and asked my parents to send me a Book of Mormon and began reading it. After returning to the US, I found a singles branch and began attending church again.

Praying will help you draw closer to God and to feel his influence in your life.

Reading the scriptures will strengthen your testimony and help your faith and testimony grow.

Going to church and being with others that believe as you do will help you feel less alone even though they are not your age.

I've generally been fine with being alone, but after many years of this I find I am wanting to be with other people more often and feel as if I am part of a team. I have felt alone even while going to church because I have few friends at church and am unable to find help from members when I feel a need. I've always tried to help where and when I can but while my children were young it was not so easy for me. Now they are getting to the age where I can leave them home alone when they don't want to participate in church related or other activities outside the home. This has helped some. Now I have been going to the house of a member once a week to help their 10 year old daughter learn English better (I attend a Spanish speaking ward) and I take my 11 and a half year old daughter, Sharleen, with me to play with their other girls. I've started sailing and this puts me in contact with people who drink. When they offer me something I decline. I always accept water when they offer.

So as others have said it is fine to be with people who do not believe the same as you and in fact your example can help them. I would think you can find people your age that don't drink nor smoke nor swear who will accept you even though you are LDS. In the military I found people who did accept me, many I worked with would buy soda along with the beer so that I would come and hang out with them and I did. I drank the soda and they drank the beer.

[Finrock]

Good morning RyanLDS! It is a pleasure to meet you. I hope that you are doing better. :)

Hello! Today I decided to write here because I don't know what I can do now, how I should act. I really need some advice from you. I need some support.

It sounds like you already know what you need to do and that you just need to gather up the courage (мужність, сміливiсть, хоробрість) within you. You need the courage to stand up for truth and right even when others around will not, cannot, or just don't care. But, be strong and take courage in the thought that as you pick up the sword of truth to wield it in righteousness, God will send down his power to uplift you and to support you.

The scriptures make this promise clear and we can take courage from the scriptures as well.

From Psalm 55:22

Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.

From Matthew in New Testament

28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Psalm 37 is also very good to read and I'd recommend it for you at this time.

Regards,

Finrock

[FunkyTown]

Wow! Your English is fantastic.

Way better than my Ukrainian or Russian. I can barely get out 'Gde (wherever I need to go)' or 'Spaseeba!'

Just to let you know: Don't worry about what other members of your branch are doing. If there are some hypocrites, then they're just at a different spot spiritually than you. Instead, just go forward doing what you need to do.

Things will get better. And it's okay to slip up occasionally. We all do, and that's fine. You just need to do your best to move forward.

You're in a difficult time, now. Just know that you're not alone and that people are here for you.

[memesiaup]

RyanLDS - I know how it feels. I've been there or... I actually am.

[Dove]

Hello, Ryanlds;

You said that you followed your friends into doing "bad things." Would you consider going to your branch president to talk to him and bring him up to date on what's happened? Ask for his help to know what to do to get back into church. A priesthood blessing might also be really helpful in feeling God's love for you.

Please don't forget how much God does love you....it sounds like you are lonely and looking for friendship. Study the scriptures about the Savior. I am reminded of some of my favorite scriptures in Isaiah. They are talking about Jesus Christ here;

"For He is despised and rejected of men. A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him. He was despised, and we esteemed Him not. Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows. Yet we did esteem Him stricken, smitten of God and afflicted.

But, He was wounded for our transgressions. He was bruised from our iniquity. The chastisement of our peace was upon Him. And, with His stripes, we are healed."

Jesus Christ knows perfectly how much you are struggling and the loneliness that you feel. Go to Him through prayer and scripture study. He will help you find friends that will support you in your beliefs. Ask for friends that will from Him and you will be surprised who will come into your life, if it is His will.

Dove

[daboosh]

i have been in this position myself before. i was going through a rough period in my life, stuck between defecting from the church and having friends who weren't members, or hanging onto the iron rod - continue to go to church while feeling alone and stay harmonious with god's commandments and counsel. i chose god, and i have never looked back since.

just remember my man, you are never alone when you have God's light in your life. you can truly build a personal relationship with God through the powerful tool of prayer. believe me, i was a skeptic for YEARS on prayer until i actually decided to try. do away with those bad habits. i promise you will be rewarded for your efforts and righteous desires. you will find people who accept you for your beliefs... those that matter, don't mind and those that mind, dont matter! keep yourself close to people who matter!

keep soldiering on. it is all worth it. trust me on this.

Be strong and of good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them; for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. - Deuteronomy 31:6

good luck and take care.

Edited June 26, 2012 by daboosh

[Magen_Avot]

Hey Ryan,

My son served in the Dnipropetrovs'k Mission. Most of us in the United States don't know what it is like to live in a country that encourages people to divorce after two or three years. And it's contrary to our logic to have to get a visa (or what ever it's called) to have permission just to live and work in our own country. I know strong young men who love God are in short supply in Ukraine and that makes you very important. It also makes things difficult for you. It is important to get up each day and prepare yourself with prayer and scripture reading/study. Getting closer to God will help you, but like others are saying,... getting active in the church will also help. As you seek God he will bless you and give you strength. I also know of a Sister who recently returned from her mission at Temple Square in Salt Lake to Ukraine, so I know you can find strong Latter-Day Saints in Ukraine. God bless you Ryan.