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sister8

Am I worthy?

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I am at a crossroads.

I'm a 20 year old woman who (like many other people my age) was recently very impacted by the new age requirements for missionaries.

I moved to a new area about a month ago, and I fear that I am not worthy.

Over a year ago, almost two years now, I participated in some fairly (not incredibly) serious inappropriate behavior with a boy (chastity wise). I was guilt tripped into making some mistakes with him that I would not have done otherwise. I am not, however, making excuses for myself, because I know that it was my own weakness that allowed it to happen. I had a lapse in confidence and a bigger lapse in self control. I kept a minimum standard for myself and I am so thankful for that, but I still did not keep the law of chastity like I should have. I have been kicking myself for the last year and a half over what I have done, but I was (and still am) so afraid to tell my bishop. I have prayed for forgiveness time and time again, cried for hours, felt the most incredible spiritual sorrow I have ever felt. I even kept myself from taking the sacrament because I no longer felt worthy. It has been very hard for me, but I find that I am ruled by fear, and telling my bishop is going to be the hardest part for me.

Now, the mission age requirements have changed. I am so nervous, for two reasons. First- I had the most incredible prompting to go. I've prayed about it several times and every time I get an amazing confirmation. But I'm nervous also because I know that I cannot rightfully serve until I tell my bishop. I'm afraid that since I have moved recently, it will be hard for my bishop to understand my circumstances. I'm so worried that my ability to go on a mission will be either delayed or taken away completely.

What do I do? What will happen? It was long ago and since it ended over a year ago, I have not participated in the same behavior. I have had resolve to keep myself away from that lifestyle for quite some time, and I have had a change of heart, but I'm afraid that my past transgressions will hinder my future progression.

Please help. I'm incredibly scared.

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What do you do? Follow your prompting.

What will happen? I don't know. Find out.

Talk to your bishop as soon as possible. Don't find or invent excuses. Bite the bullet and get things straightened out. You will be glad you did.

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First- I had the most incredible prompting to go. I've prayed about it several times and every time I get an amazing confirmation. But I'm nervous also because I know that I cannot rightfully serve until I tell my bishop.

So - God answered your question. Follow the prompting. Do what is right, let the consequence follow, right?

No really - from firsthand experience, I can unreservedly advise in the most confident terms - go humbly to your bishop and confess your sins. Allow him to help you get right with God.

Edited by Loudmouth_Mormon

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As has been discussed in other threads, just because the age was lowered, doesn't mean you have to go sooner, it is simply an additional option.

You say you've had almost two years to deal with this. Perhaps this will be a lesson - one that many of us need to learn - to not let ourselves be ruled by fear and to deal with things sooner, rather than later. I can think of times in my own life when had I dealt with an issue, rather than succumbing to the fear, I would have saved myself some of the pain and some needless suffering.

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I was in a similar situation a few years ago. I was scared to death before I went to talk to him. Let me say that while it is difficult, your bishop loves you and Heavenly Father loves you. They want what is best for you. Talk to your bishop and he will lovingly help you through the repentance process. Everyone makes mistakes.

After I finally talked to the bishop and went through the process I was overcome with love and happiness. The Atonement is an incredible gift.

You can do it! You will feel so much better in the end.

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I couldn't improve on what's been said. Go. See the bishop. It won't be nearly as bad as you are imagining.

I was thinking too. You want to serve a mission, right? Well, in order to get clearance to apply, you have to go through interviews. And they WILL ask you about your sexual history. So, you might as well just bite the bullet, don't you think?

Also, what do you think we share as missionaries? It's the good news, right? The good news that all people everywhere can be cleansed from sin though the atonement, right? Just think of how much stronger your testimony will be when you can add some more personal experience with the Atonement. :) Everybody feels fear. And most of us need help overcoming it. How comforting your smiling face will be as you teach them the very things you are learning now. But...maybe you think that message is for other people.

Just GO! Get yourself to the peace. And come back and tell us how it went.

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As a missionary, there were three questions that we had to ask every investigator who had committed to be baptized. One was if they had ever had or paid for an abortion. Another was if they'd ever engaged in homosexual behavior. I don't remember the third, but it's irrelevant to this conversation. If an investigator answers "yes" to any of the questions, they must meet with a member of the mission presidency prior to being baptized. I had one sister that I taught who had had an abortion years earlier. Her husband had forced her to get it, and she carried the guilt from it ever since. She was worried that admitting it would prevent her from being baptized. Many people share that same concern. We gently explained to her that the meeting with the mission president was not to evaluate her eligibility for baptism. She was already making and keeping commitments and progressing as she should have. She read the Book of Mormon regularly and had a testimony of it. She was fraught with guilt over her actions. We clarified that the re

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As a missionary, there were three questions that we had to ask every investigator who had committed to be baptized. One was if they had ever had or paid for an abortion. Another was if they'd ever engaged in homosexual behavior. I don't remember the third, but it's irrelevant to this conversation. If an investigator answers "yes" to any of the questions, they must meet with a member of the mission presidency prior to being baptized. I had one sister that I taught who had had an abortion years earlier. Her husband had forced her to get it, and she carried the guilt from it ever since. She was worried that admitting it would prevent her from being baptized. Many people share that same concern. We gently explained to her that the meeting with the mission president was not to evaluate her eligibility for baptism. She was already making and keeping commitments and progressing as she should have. She read the Book of Mormon regularly and had a testimony of it. She was fraught with guilt over her actions. We clarified that the required meeting was to help her understand that with her baptism, she would be cleansed and forgiven of her sin. It was to help her feel the Savior's love for her and realize His forgiveness, so that she could move on from it and live her life.

Clearly, you are remorseful about your previous actions. You don't sound like you're trying to get away with anything. If you felt the Spirit prompting you to go on a mission, you are in a good place already, because you can feel and recognize the Spirit. Meet with your bishop. Confess your sins to him, and tell him how sorry you are for what you've done. Tell him that you feel strongly prompted to serve a mission. He will help you through the rest of the repentance and forgiveness process so that you can feel clean and worthy. Bishop are judges in Israel, but I think that more than judging, they are there to help us feel the Savior's love.

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You are looking for answers. As much as its nice that we are all in front of screen. The Bishop is there to help you. Really the Bishiop is there to stand in for Christ in helping you. Thats why we have Church Leaders! Not to make us feel bad, and beat ourselves up, but to give us hope and to help us get back on path back to our Heavenly Father.

You do realize that fear you are feeling is part of Satan's trick. If he can keep you running away, so to speak, you can never fully get closer to God! Even more, if Satan can keep you from moving forward (if that does include a mission) he probably thinks he already won.

Edited by tubaloth

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I know it's hard when you make choices that make it necessary to talk to the bishop, but it's not something we can bargain our way out of and just stopping a behavior isn't repentance, although it sounds like you have started the repentance process. This has hurt you long enough and it's time to give your burden to your bishop. :)

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Also, what do you think we share as missionaries? It's the good news, right? The good news that all people everywhere can be cleansed from sin though the atonement, right? Just think of how much stronger your testimony will be when you can add some more personal experience with the Atonement.

This. I think the OP will be a stronger missionary for having been through some trials, repented, and come out the other side. While you may not want to recount your sexual history to investigators, I think your experience will make you more empathetic when investigators share their burdens with you and wonder how they can come to HF when they have done so much wrong.

I have had several elders tell me about misdemeanors and behavior that, frankly, would have shocked me if my son had engaged in them. I assume they repented and obviously were allowed to go on a mission. It's a bit different for me, because I'm older and I kept thinking of how I'd feel as a parent if my son had done some of these things, but at least I learned that the elders weren't perfect, that you didn't have to be perfect to be LDS (tho it probably helps). :lol:

I'm just curious - during the interviews do they actually ask if you are a virgin? Do they put it another way that's not so blunt?

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