bytor2112 Posted February 11, 2013 Report Share Posted February 11, 2013 Feeling blue, not sure what to do. I am in a very weird way lately, somewhere between depression and ambivalence with smatterings of panic and just a large portion of disaffection and lack of satisfaction and just a titch of loneliness. We are taking our son to Utah in March to report to the MTC and I have misgivings...selfishness to be sure. But nonetheless I feel a sense of sadness. Hard to explain, as it seems a very happy chapter in my life is closing. My other son will likely follow.... I will be 48 in April and while I am fit and energetic, I have brief moments of the realization that the race is more than half run. I sometimes feel a bit manic and want to buy a new sports car and I am easily flattered by the attention of younger gals...though I am unwooable from Mrs Bytor. Still.......i see how men go mad at this time of life, thank goodness for the gospel.......and a healthy fear of being shot;) I have achieved....been blessed with a lot of success in my career...yet I don't necessarily care one way or another. I spend my Saturdays going to the gym with my sons and then playing guitar for several hours to ...escape. Not sure what happens next in life when my kids have moved forward in their own journey. This I suppose is just life......................anyone else have or had similar periods in their life? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CommanderSouth Posted February 11, 2013 Report Share Posted February 11, 2013 I so wish I had something to offer, but I am not nor have I ever been in such a situation. I saw your topic and while I want to post one of my own I just felt the desire to see if I could help before asking for help. The only thing I feel I can offer is perhaps this. Feel thankful there -is- a Mrs. Bytor. I am in a boat that I will have to get out of and walk on the water so to speak to find my own Mrs Commandersouth. I would say be thankful that many challenges you have had to face are over, and tackled successfully. While this race of mortality may be half over in one possible sense, you have the whole of eternity ahead to spend with the ones you love, and enjoy the buildings on the foundation you have, are, and have yet to lay... I normally am not the one to try to be uplifting so if I messed up I'm sorry, I just felt like I should try to help... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted February 11, 2013 Report Share Posted February 11, 2013 Actually I can relate and understand somewhat. You get to a point where you've raised your kids, they no longer need you..and you start to think what's the point of my life anymore and where do I go from here? You start to get nostalgic for earlier times knowing that you are actually over that hump of middle age and on the downhill slide. Believe me I understand all of this. I would love to be able to get to the point where I can start enjoying life for me and not having to worry about others. I feel like I've earned my time and I should be enjoying life but still don't feel like I'm to that point and where I should be. I think many of us when they get to that "age" start feeling a lot of the same feelings. I've never considered another Mr. Pam but lately...well....I don't think I would mind. It's lonely with the kids gone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted February 11, 2013 Report Share Posted February 11, 2013 Feeling blue, not sure what to do. I am in a very weird way lately, somewhere between depression and ambivalence with smatterings of panic and just a large portion of disaffection and lack of satisfaction and just a titch of loneliness. We are taking our son to Utah in March to report to the MTC and I have misgivings...selfishness to be sure. But nonetheless I feel a sense of sadness. Hard to explain, as it seems a very happy chapter in my life is closing. My other son will likely follow....I will be 48 in April and while I am fit and energetic, I have brief moments of the realization that the race is more than half run. I sometimes feel a bit manic and want to buy a new sports car and I am easily flattered by the attention of younger gals...though I am unwooable from Mrs Bytor. Still.......i see how men go mad at this time of life, thank goodness for the gospel.......and a healthy fear of being shot;) I have achieved....been blessed with a lot of success in my career...yet I don't necessarily care one way or another. I spend my Saturdays going to the gym with my sons and then playing guitar for several hours to ...escape. Not sure what happens next in life when my kids have moved forward in their own journey.This I suppose is just life......................anyone else have or had similar periods in their life?Ah, the existential angst of the middle-aged man! I just turned 50, and I'm right there with you, bro. Except for the whole thing about being flattered by the attention of women. Doesn't happen, ain't gonna happen. And the thing about being fit. Not that there is any connection between the two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bytor2112 Posted February 11, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2013 Ah, the existential angst of the middle-aged man! I just turned 50, and I'm right there with you, bro. Except for the whole thing about being flattered by the attention of women. Doesn't happen, ain't gonna happen. And the thing about being fit. Not that there is any connection between the two.Existential angst........invigorating and frightening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 11, 2013 Report Share Posted February 11, 2013 I've never considered another Mr. Pam but lately...well....I don't think I would mind. It's lonely with the kids gone.anatess has cousins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted February 11, 2013 Report Share Posted February 11, 2013 You did not just say that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikbone Posted February 11, 2013 Report Share Posted February 11, 2013 Yeah. I remember after my residency, I sent my family to our new residence - states away - and finished up business on my own for a week or so. For a day I was excited about the freedom, no diapers, no arguments, ... The rest of the week I was lost. Bored & lonely. My oldest 2 are both getting ready for missions. The oldest just had a rough semester at BYU Idaho and is now home and will submit papers this month. The younger is having a better experience at BYU Provo but turns 18 in June. My wife had a bit more foresight then me and although I only wanted 4 kids she persisted and we just had number 10 six months ago. I now fear I will never have the opportunity to be bored and lonely again... Anyway, I am looking forward to writing inspiring letters to my missionaries and hearing about their experiences. I also can't wait to stop buying pampers... But I can't wait for the daughters and sons-in-law as well as grandchildren that will inevitably will come. Moses 1:39 rings true. We glorify in our families. My job also gives me the opportunity to see many people in various time frames of life. The indestructible teenagers. Adults trying to find their way in life. And the elderly with their failing bodies. In the end, it all comes down to family. The elderly that were good parents have their children around them and are successful patriarchs. I have also seen many people die bitter and alone. Just this morning I took care of an 83 year old woman who broke her shoulder elbow and wrist. I fixed her fractures yesterday and she was recovering from the anesthesia. Before the surgery she was telling me about how successful her life was with her career as an actor, dancer, and model. New house, blah, blah, blah. This morning her real personality showed itself. She was abusive to the staff, spitting, and throwing her breakfast tray. No family was there to comfort her, and she had instructions that no information was to be released to any of her family members if they should inquire... She had undergone perhaps 10-20 plastic surgery procedures, but they failed to make her any more happy. I plan to die with some dignity and grace. And absolutely not in a hospital. Vort 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dahlia Posted February 11, 2013 Report Share Posted February 11, 2013 i see how men go mad at this time of life, thank goodness for the gospel.......and a healthy fear of being shotGo with that thought. I only have the one child. When he went away to college, it was terrible. His friends are only children as well and their moms had a hard time. With no one to please but myself, I actually went back for another degree at his school. Yeah, I wanted the degree, but I probably could have done that without moving. I'm sure underlying it was a need to get back with the boy. If his father were alive, I probably wouldn't have done it, but then, his father loved him so, and we would have both been crazy enough to move to be with the boy. I will be 60 this summer. I can't believe it. I wear green fingernail polish and make most of my own earrings. I'm not much of a hippie anymore, but I like to think I am still hip. And yet, when I look at people like Grace Slick and other rockers of my past and they are all grey and balding, I want to cry sometimes because I just see time passing. I need to take the elevator in the temple because not all my parts work all the time. I am starting to think of retirement. Part of me says, yeah, it's time, the other part of me has tons of research to do.Working with grad students keeps me thinking young. I like that. I can't stand middle aged people who haven't listened to any new music, are proud to say they don't know anything about computers, or who, on dating sites, talk about being retired and not doing anything. That's attractive. I have enjoyed playing auntie to the girls of a friend from church. Not having had girls (and coming from a family of girls myself) and with no grand kids, I love buying them girly stuff. They appreciate it and it gives me a real kick to do it. One of the benefits of being this age is that I have disposable income and can do things for people that I could only have dreamed of when I was younger.Maybe you should find something new to do that doesn't involve a female or buying a Porsche. Heck, when I was 48, I went back for a PhD. You can still do a lot of things. At least you still have the Mrs. All is not lost. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingnut Posted February 11, 2013 Report Share Posted February 11, 2013 Feeling blue, not sure what to do. I am in a very weird way lately, somewhere between depression and ambivalence with smatterings of panic and just a large portion of disaffection and lack of satisfaction and just a titch of loneliness. ...snip...This I suppose is just life......................anyone else have or had similar periods in their life?Your first paragraph almost exactly describes me the last month or so, but particularly the past week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzie Posted February 11, 2013 Report Share Posted February 11, 2013 This I suppose is just life......................anyone else have or had similar periods in their life?My situation is unique (raising children with life long disabilities) I don't wonder what happens next in life when my kids have moved forward in their own journey....instead I wonder daily if they will have that chance at all. The feeling of depression and despair are similar. How I cope? I try to remind myself that I'm just human and take one day at the time and try to remain POSITIVE. VERY hard to do in my situation but God knows I try my very best and even though I don't know what the future holds, I try to remember I am not the only one going through this.Oh and I watch Ellen (the TV show) :) Because she always features people in very difficult situations that still remain positive despite all their challenges. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikbone Posted February 11, 2013 Report Share Posted February 11, 2013 Get a dog. Viszla puppy would be my choice. You would probably do great as a mission president. What are your callings in the church. Scouting or young mens might be good for you. If polygamy wasn't outlawed and all... You will figure it out and get out of the funk. We love ya. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwen Posted February 11, 2013 Report Share Posted February 11, 2013 Are you sure your wife isn't feeling the same way? A good time to plan surprise activities and more seriously dating your spouse again? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bytor2112 Posted February 13, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2013 (edited) Get a dog. Viszla puppy would be my choice.You would probably do great as a mission president. What are your callings in the church. Scouting or young mens might be good for you.If polygamy wasn't outlawed and all...You will figure it out and get out of the funk.We love ya.Alas....I have two long haired weiner dogs....they are a lot like kids. I was in Young Mens for a long time, Scout Master for 3 years or so and EQP for the past 3 years. Thanks for the advice...not sure how the wife would take to polygamy? She might only beat me slightly... :)Yes...this will all pass.....or morph into something else. Edited February 13, 2013 by bytor2112 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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