“ Judge Not, That Ye Be Not Judged”

[StrawberryFields]

“Judge Not, That Ye Be Not Judged”

President N. Eldon Tanner

Second Counselor in the First Presidency

The other day, as I overhead one neighbor criticizing another, I was reminded of these lines:

“Wouldn’t this old world be better

If the folks we meet would say:

‘I know something good about you,’

And then treat us that way?”

Then I thought of the words of one of our hymns:

“Let each man learn to know himself;

To gain that knowledge let him labor,

Improve those failings in himself

Which he condemns so in his neighbor.

How lenient our own faults we view,

And conscience’s voice adeptly smother;

Yet, oh, how harshly we review

The selfsame failings in another! …

So first improve yourself today

And then improve your friends tomorrow.”

—Hymns, no. 91

It seems common practice for people to talk about their friends and neighbors and to criticize their seeming peculiarities and weaknesses. In fact, it is so general that one would think that gossiping about and judging others was the thing to do. How often have we heard of young men who were criticized, judged, and ridiculed because of their peculiarities and yet who eventually became leaders in their different fields of endeavor.

Let me give you one or two examples of unjust criticism and judging without the facts.

There is a little story about Sister McKay, the wife of President David O. McKay, when she began teaching school. As the principal introduced her to the class, he pointed to a certain boy and said he was a troublemaker. She sensed the boy’s embarrassment and feared he would live up to his reputation, so she wrote a note and slipped it to him as she passed his desk. It said, “Earl, I think the principal was mistaken about your being a bad boy. I trust you, and know that you are going to help me make this room the best in the school.” Earl not only became a paragon of scholastic virtue but also one of the town’s most important people.

I should like to give you another example. One of our most respected community-minded citizens began to act as though his feelings had been hurt and to stay away from socials where, in the past, he had gone and taken a most active part. People started accusing him of being a sorehead, a poor sport, antisocial, etc., and even evaded him whenever possible. Later, a medical diagnosis showed he was suffering from a brain tumor, which had been the cause of his lack of interest in activities that he had previously attended and even sponsored.

Let me give you another example or two of what I would call unrighteous judgment. First, a bishop who needs additional officers sees a member of his ward who, though not active, seems to have ability, but he says to himself, “Oh, he wouldn’t be interested. He wouldn’t want to accept a position.” So he does not approach him, and the man remains inactive for years.

A new bishop is called to the ward, asks the man if he would be willing to accept a position, and finds that he is really ready and anxious to work.

Don’t prejudge, but give the person an opportunity. Let him decide for himself to accept or decline.

On the other hand, we hear a man say to his family and to others, “I don’t see why the bishop does this or that. You would think he would know better.” Here he is judging the bishop without the facts, which, if known to him, would be full justification for the action taken. The man’s judgment was not only unrighteous, but it had probably prejudiced his children and caused them to lose respect for the bishop and had weakened their faith.

These examples show how important it is that we do not judge, but encourage rather than denounce. Jesus Christ, some 2,000 years ago, realizing man’s tendency to make unrighteous judgment, said:

“Judge not, that ye be not judged.

“For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

“And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

“Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?

“Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.” (Matt. 7:1–5.)

It seems he is saying that unless we are without fault, we are not qualified to judge. By referring to Samuel’s experience while choosing a king, we may get a better understanding of the fact that man is not qualified to judge. The Lord had rejected Saul as king of Israel and instructed the prophet Samuel to choose a new king. He told him to go to the house of Jesse, who had eight sons, and that while there the anointed one would pass before him and Samuel would know who was to be chosen. When the first son, Eliab, came before him, Samuel thought he was the chosen one, but the Lord refused him and then gave the prophet Samuel the key as to how to judge:

“Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.” (1 Sam. 16:7.)

Each of the seven sons then passed before Samuel and was rejected. Then David, the youngest, was sent for and was approved by the Lord.

The reason, therefore, that we cannot judge is obvious. We cannot see what is in the heart. We do not know motives, although we impute motives to every action we see. They may be pure while we think they are improper.

It is not possible to judge another fairly unless you know his desires, his faith, and his goals. Because of a different environment, unequal opportunity, and many other things, people are not in the same position. One may start at the top and the other at the bottom, and they may meet as they are going in opposite directions. Someone has said that it is not where you are but the direction in which you are going that counts; not how close you are to failure or success but which way you are headed. How can we, with all our weaknesses and frailties, dare to arrogate to ourselves the position of a judge? At best, man can judge only what he sees; he cannot judge the heart or the intention, or begin to judge the potential of his neighbor.

When we try to judge people, which we should not do, we have a great tendency to look for and take pride in finding weaknesses and faults, such as vanity, dishonesty, immorality, and intrigue. As a result, we see only the worst side of those being judged.

Our news media today also seem to be interested mainly in controversial subjects or someone who is being attacked; and regardless of the ninety-nine good things one may do, it is the one weakness or error that alone is emphasized and heralded to the world.

We are too prone to listen to, accept, and repeat such adverse criticism, such maliciously spoken or printed words, without stopping to realize the harm we may be doing to some noble person; and, as is done so often, we excuse and justify ourselves by saying, “Well, where there is so much smoke, there must be some fire,” whereas in reality we are adding to the smoke, when the fire referred to may be only the fire of malice started by some envious person.

Sometimes even when our friends are accused of wrongdoing or gossip is started about them, we disloyally accept and repeat what we hear without knowing all the facts. It is sad indeed that sometimes friendships are destroyed and enmity created on the basis of misinformation.

If there be one place in life where the attitude of the agnostic is acceptable, it is in this matter of judging. It is the courage to say, “I don’t know. I am waiting for further evidence. I must hear both sides of the question.”

Only by suspending judgment do we exhibit real charity. It is hard to understand why we are ready to condemn our neighbors and our friends on circumstantial evidence while we are all so determined to see that every criminal has a fair and open trial. Surely we can try to eliminate pride, passion, personal feeling, prejudice, and pettiness from our minds, and show charity to those around us.

Let us look for the good rather than try to discover any hidden evil. We can easily find fault in others if that is what we are looking for. Even in families, divorce has resulted and families have been broken up because the husband or wife was looking for and emphasizing the faults rather than loving and extolling the virtues of the other.

Let us remember too that the further out of line or out of tune we ourselves are, the more we are inclined to look for error or weaknesses in others and to try to rationalize and justify our own faults rather than to try to improve ourselves. Almost invariably, we find that the greatest criticism of Church leaders and doctrine comes from those who are not doing their full duty, following the leaders, or living according to the teachings of the gospel.

An outstanding example of this can be found in the story of Cain and Abel. Cain neglected his own stewardship and became so bitter over Abel’s righteousness and favor in the eyes of the Lord that his insane jealousy caused him to murder his brother. How much better would his situation have been had he congratulated and honored his brother and set about to improve himself and correct his own failings.

Let us examine our own lives and actions, bring ourselves in tune with righteous principles, and never attack or spread misinformation about others.

Gossip is the worst form of judging. The tongue is the most dangerous, destructive, and deadly weapon available to man. A vicious tongue can ruin the reputation and even the future of the one attacked. Insidious attacks against one’s reputation, loathsome innuendoes, half-lies about an individual are as deadly as those insect parasites that kill the heart and life of a mighty oak. They are so stealthy and cowardly that one cannot guard against them. As someone has said, “It is easier to dodge an elephant than a microbe.”

What a different world it would be if we would put into practice what we have all heard so many times: “… whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.” (Matt. 7:12.) Instead, we are all so inclined to judge others by a standard different from the one by which we would wish or be willing to be judged.

When the woman accused of adultery was brought before Christ, he was indignant because of the accusers’ injustice. They were wanting the woman to be judged on the basis of standards different from those by which they were willing to be judged and on a matter of which some were guilty.

He said: “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” Then, after stooping and writing in the sand, he looked up and said, “… where are those thine accusers?” (John 8:7, 10.)

If Jesus were to stand by and be asked to judge those whom we accuse and should say to us, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her,” and then should stoop and write in the sand, how many of us would feel to steal away ashamed, convicted in our own conscience? How sound is his counsel!

If we could accept and practice the second great commandment, “Thou shall love thy neighbour as thyself” (Matt. 22:39), and really learn to love our neighbors, there would be no vicious gossip or bearing false witness. In the Lord’s prayer, we have these words: “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors,” and then he says: “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matt. 6:12, 14–15.)

Christ is our greatest example of forgiveness. To the woman brought before him accused of adultery, he said, “Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.” (John 8:11.)

Then on the cross he prayed: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34.)

Regardless of our ego, our pride, or our feeling of insecurity, our lives would be happier, we would be contributing more to social welfare and the happiness of others, if we would love one another, forgive one another, repent of our wrongdoings, and judge not.

It is true that we must have appointed judges to deal with the laws of the land and judges in the Church to deal with its members; and they are given the heavy duty and responsibility of judging, which they must not neglect, but they must give righteous judgment according to the law of the land and of the Church.

This being election year, there will be much campaigning; we will hear and argue the pros and cons of many questions; we will have strong opposing views. Each must try to understand the questions and then stand firm by his convictions. But let us determine now that in the heat of the campaign we will not indulge in the vituperative talk of personalities that we so often hear. We must not rail against our brother and accuse him of lying and cheating or being dishonest or immoral.

Let us stand on principle—high principle. Also, it is most important that all of us, including our politicians, strive to live so that our actions will be above reproach and criticism.

We never gain anything or improve our own character by trying to tear down another. We have seen close friendships destroyed through words spoken and accusations made in the heat of a campaign. Tirades against men in office or against one’s opponent tend to cause our youth and others to lose faith in the individual and others in government and often even our form of government itself.

As parents, we have the responsibility in our homes to guard against any of these things. Also, we must realize that every word and every act influences the thinking and attitude of the child. It is in the family that the child picks up the elementary lessons in getting along with people and the virtues of love, compassion, and concern. These lessons will have been well taught if parents can bring up their children without prejudicing them by precept or example against any other children on the grounds of color, race, religion, social status, or intellectual capacity, and if they teach them to love the Lord. I am so thankful that my parents, through their tolerance, were able to accomplish this with their children.

May I humbly say in all sincerity that I love the Lord with all my heart and that I love my fellowmen. I hold no hard feelings of any kind toward any man, and I sincerely pray for forgiveness wherein I have offended anyone. I realize, as the Savior said, “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” (Matt. 25:40.)

To all the world, and especially to those who do not understand but who ridicule the teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I wish to bear my witness and issue a challenge that you judge not until you know and understand those teachings which are contained in the restored gospel. We believe, with you, that God lives and that Jesus Christ is his Only, but truly, Begotten Son in the flesh, who came and gave his life and was resurrected so that all mankind might enjoy immortality.

He said, “… this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39), and he gave us the gospel plan by which we can prepare ourselves to go back into his presence and enjoy eternal life.

Yes, the gospel in its fullness is restored and is here upon the earth today. I bear witness that the Bible is the word of God, given to us through his prophets, and also that the Book of Mormon is the word of God and is a translated and true record of God’s dealings with the ancient American people, containing the gospel in its fullness. It was written by way of commandment and also by the spirit of prophecy and by revelation, to the convincing of the Jew and the gentile that Jesus is the Christ, the Eternal God, manifesting himself unto all nations.

I also wish to bear testimony that I know that Joseph Fielding Smith, the President of the Church, is a prophet of God through whom the Lord speaks, and I express my sincere and deep appreciation for the opportunity I have of working so closely with him.

These things I know, and I humbly bear my testimony that they are true; and I invite and encourage each and every one of you to investigate and to read the Book of Mormon, to test and enjoy the promise contained therein, which is:

“And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

“And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.” (Moro. 10:4–5.)

This promise, and my testimony, I leave with you in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

http://www.lds.org/portal/site/LDSOrg/menu..._&hideNav=1

[Shade]

thanks!

i struggle terribly with not judging others, but i try really hard not to do so. i know how painful and bitter it is to be on the receiving end of judgement and, regardless of guilt, it is a painful and humiliating experience.

as i read this talk, i felt something i have not felt for quite some time: a feeling of calm, peaceful serenity. somehow i have always known that these words and the gospel are true. that feeling is lingering.

thank you, once again for sharing this with me!

[Dr T]

I don't think that we are called to "not judge" at all. We are to judge appropriately-and the standard we use, will be used against us. Remove the plank, etc.

[Shade]

These examples show how important it is that we do not judge, but encourage rather than denounce. Jesus Christ, some 2,000 years ago, realizing man’s tendency to make unrighteous judgment, said:

“Judge not, that ye be not judged.

http://www.lds.org/portal/site/LDSOrg/menu..._&hideNav=1

hmmm... i dunno. i read it as "Judge not, that ye be not judged."

there's no particular reference to appropriate vs. inappropriate judgements. that in itself begs the question: who has the right to judge the appropriateness?

judges were appointed to the tribes of Israel. judges are appointed in our courts or in a variety of civil matters. and i guess these guys carry a huge responsibility.

if we explore this idea further:

1) if we were to argue that "appropriate" judgements were OK, would we base those judgements on our imperfect and human opinions of the gospel?

2) or should we cast aside those opinions of the gospel and allow the gospel to speak for itself in its literal context?

in the case of the former, i cannot argue against that.

in the case of the latter, the gospel quite clearly reads "judge not..."

[BenRaines]

Dr. T, I think I understand where you are coming from. If I were not to judge then I could go and hang out with strippers and hookers because who am I to judge them?

I will make those judgements of common sense to not hang out with them. Now if one were to show up I would welcome them to church, introduce myself and show them where classes are and maybe even, with my wifes permission, sit next to them to answer questions during class.

I have done that in the past when someone under the influence of alcohol or very poorly dress, as in off the street, has shown up at church.

To me that is not being judgemental. That is using common sense.

Ben Raines

[Dr T]

Yes. God ultimately makes the final judgment. We however, also judge aspects of this life and make decisions based on those judgments. I wonder if it is possible to judge without being judgmental? Maybe not...

[Blessed]

I spent a year and a half working with the homeless of Anchorage. They consisted of drug addicts, alcoholics, felons, some honestly poor struggling souls, hookers, pimps, etc. While working with them I began to see how most of society judged and unfairly so the homeless for whom I worked. I became their advocate. I fought the rich and the elite of Anchorage and encouraged them to "open" their eyes.

A few months later I had to leave the homeless shelter and go to work with a place that had better benefits. I worked at the finest hotels in downtown Anchorage -- the richest of the rich would come to this hotel to see and be seen. I had to go from the poorest of the poor to the richest of the rich. I didn't think I could "stomach" it after working with the poor, but a year into working at the hotel I realized the rich had the exact same problems as the homeless I worked with.

I saw both sides of judgement and most of the judgement was coming from me. WOrking at both places taught me a lot about judging. I will not forget the lesson I learned from there.

Judging is something we do everyday, but we don't really see that we do it, I think.

Thanks for the reminder, SF.

[StrawberryFields]

Shade I am happy that this talk brought something positive to you. :)

I think what Dr.T and Ben might be talking about is making "Judgement Calls" and I believe that we all need to take head and do this.

Blessed, Thanks for your example, that is what I am thinking about. We have all made mistakes and poor choices along the journeys path. To look down and to mentally place ourselfs as superior to our brothers and sisters is wrong IMO. To place ourselves above another because we are not currently struggling in the same way is not Christ-like. If ever we can we need to remember to offer a hard up to a fallen brother. We never know when it will be us or someone we love who is the fallen one. :)

[CrimsonKairos]

The Joseph Smith Translation of the "judge not" scripture reads, "Judge not unrighteously..."

We are to judge the actions of others.

We are not to judge the worthiness of others (unless we're a bishop or stake president).

If I see someone from Church drinking beer, I'm going to judge that action as a sin in terms of the Word of Wisdom and the covenants they've made. However, I cannot judge whether that person is worthy to bless the sacrament, or what God thinks of them, etc...

I believe being "wise as serpents but harmless as doves" is especially true in terms of judgment.

If you read all the times in the New Testament where Jesus condemns the scribes and pharisees for being judgmental, it isn't because they're judging the actions of others...Jesus condemns them because they judge others but then ignore those flaws in themselves. I think one of the most familiar words Jesus used in describing them was "hypocrites."

Unrighteous judgment can either be judgment based on false standards, or accurate judgments that we apply to others but deny ourselves (hypocrisy).

It comes down to this: Overlook the faults of others; overcome your own.

[Blessed]

It comes down to this: Overlook the faults of others; overcome your own.

I really like the way you put that, CK. It is simply put. :)

[Traveler]

There are some that believe the scripture of “judging not” is a bit of a mistranslation or misinterpretation and would be better understood as “condemn not” rather that judge not. It is also interesting to note that the ancient word for “accuser” is translated in scripture as “the Devil” – The Devil (Satan) is both in spirit and by action “The Accuser”.

The Traveler

[Maureen]

The Joseph Smith Translation of the "judge not" scripture reads, "Judge not unrighteously..."

We are to judge the actions of others.

We are not to judge the worthiness of others (unless we're a bishop or stake president).

If I see someone from Church drinking beer, I'm going to judge that action as a sin in terms of the Word of Wisdom and the covenants they've made. However, I cannot judge whether that person is worthy to bless the sacrament, or what God thinks of them, etc...

I believe being "wise as serpents but harmless as doves" is especially true in terms of judgment.

If you read all the times in the New Testament where Jesus condemns the scribes and pharisees for being judgmental, it isn't because they're judging the actions of others...Jesus condemns them because they judge others but then ignore those flaws in themselves. I think one of the most familiar words Jesus used in describing them was "hypocrites."

Unrighteous judgment can either be judgment based on false standards, or accurate judgments that we apply to others but deny ourselves (hypocrisy).

It comes down to this: Overlook the faults of others; overcome your own.

I'm going to agree with CK's assessment, in particular, I like:

"wise as serpents but harmless as doves"

This...

Overlook the faults of others; overcome your own.

...is a little more difficult because sometimes to avoid the faults or bad judgements others make, we have to observe them first. I think if we can learn from the faults of others and ourselves we can overcome much.

M.

[CrimsonKairos]

I think if we can learn from the faults of others and ourselves we can overcome much.

Agreed. By using the word "overlook" I mean "decline to judge." So overlooking the faults of others means recognizing them but then surrendering the right to judge them.

[MaidservantX]

I like to use the word discernment. We have to discern evil and differentiate it from good. This often includes choosing good friends and not associating with people we cannot keep our self while we would be around (and that may be different for people. Maybe someone who is a recovering alcoholic would need to get a completely new set of friends, whereas myself I could associate with persons and all types of alchohol and not even feel a whisper of temptation).

But I can only confirm what people have already said better than I have, that we just do not know where people are coming from sometimes and we have to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Traveler, I love that you have shared with us this idea of the Accuser. It goes right along with the Adam and Eve story where he told them they needed to be ashamed and hide and cover their power; he made sure that they knew they had done something terrible. The conversation with God went quite a bit differently, thankfully.

[a-train]

Moroni 7:3-18

3 "Wherefore, I would speak unto you that are of the church, that are the peaceable followers of Christ, and that have obtained a sufficient hope by which ye can enter into the rest of the Lord, from this time henceforth until ye shall rest with him in heaven.

4 And now my brethren, I judge these things of you because of your peaceable walk with the children of men.

5 For I remember the word of God which saith by their works ye shall know them; for if their works be good, then they are good also.

6 For behold, God hath said a man being evil cannot do that which is good; for if he offereth a gift, or prayeth unto God, except he shall do it with real intent it profiteth him nothing.

7 For behold, it is not counted unto him for righteousness.

8 For behold, if a man being evil giveth a gift, he doeth it grudgingly; wherefore it is counted unto him the same as if he had retained the gift; wherefore he is counted evil before God.

9 And likewise also is it counted evil unto a man, if he shall pray and not with real intent of heart; yea, and it profiteth him nothing, for God receiveth none such.

10 Wherefore, a man being evil cannot do that which is good; neither will he give a good gift.

11 For behold, a bitter fountain cannot bring forth good water; neither can a good fountain bring forth bitter water; wherefore, a man being a servant of the devil cannot follow Christ; and if he follow Christ he cannot be a servant of the devil.

12 Wherefore, all things which are good cometh of God; and that which is evil cometh of the devil; for the devil is an enemy unto God, and fighteth against him continually, and inviteth and enticeth to sin, and to do that which is evil continually.

13 But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God.

14 Wherefore, take heed, my beloved brethren, that ye do not judge that which is evil to be of God, or that which is good and of God to be of the devil.

15 For behold, my brethren, it is given unto you to judge, that ye may know good from evil; and the way to judge is as plain, that ye may know with a perfect knowledge, as the daylight is from the dark night.

16 For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God.

17 But whatsoever thing persuadeth men to do evil, and believe not in Christ, and deny him, and serve not God, then ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of the devil; for after this manner doth the devil work, for he persuadeth no man to do good, no, not one; neither do his angels; neither do they who subject themselves unto him.

18 And now, my brethren, seeing that ye know the light by which ye may judge, which light is the light of Christ, see that ye do not judge wrongfully; for with that same judgment which ye judge ye shall also be judged."

Let us say that we are all to Judge righteously, but "Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord." (Romans 12:19)

-atrain

[StrawberryFields]

I like to use the word discernment. We have to discern evil and differentiate it from good. This often includes choosing good friends and not associating with people we cannot keep our self while we would be around (and that may be different for people. Maybe someone who is a recovering alcoholic would need to get a completely new set of friends, whereas myself I could associate with persons and all types of alchohol and not even feel a whisper of temptation).

I love your example here xhenli. :)

Okay, say we a LatterDay Saints stumble upon this person.

What should we do?

This is someone who might be a bad example to us or to our family....should we push them away saying they are not worthy of our time?

[MaidservantX]

Just to add to the thoughts being expressed, I refer you to 3 Nephi ch18 vs. 28 -32.

[Shade]

ok, i understand what everyone is getting at about it being given to us to know right from wrong…

but that's NOT the same thing as judging your fellow man. it's completely different.

maybe the topic has simply gone in that direction, but it certainly started out speaking about how judging one another is un-Christ-like.

when we judge another human being, we treat them differently. to recognise that what they are doing is wrong, and yet to treat them no differently is what i understand as being the whole point.

better yet, worry about our own imperfections and short-comings and the behaviour of others will not really matter to us. the Gospel, as taught by Christ, was created for sinners, that they may see the error of their ways and thereby draw closer to their Saviour. the Gospel was never intended for perfect people - no such people exist in this world.

do we have anything to gain from seeing the wrongs of another? what have we to gain by recognising our own faults?

[Guest MrsS]

<div class='quotemain'>

I like to use the word discernment. We have to discern evil and differentiate it from good. This often includes choosing good friends and not associating with people we cannot keep our self while we would be around (and that may be different for people. Maybe someone who is a recovering alcoholic would need to get a completely new set of friends, whereas myself I could associate with persons and all types of alchohol and not even feel a whisper of temptation).

I love your example here xhenli. :)

Okay, say we a Latter-day Saints stumble upon this person. What should we do?

This is someone who might be a bad example to us or to our family....should we push them away saying they are not worthy of our time?

What I have done in the past is pray for the correct words, tone of voice and nuance to explain to them that their lifestyle is in opposition to yours. You do not need to tell them that they are not good enough for you, but be honest and truthful in your simple statement.

Your drinking, smoking, and swearing, etc. is not acceptable behavior in my life or around my family. Please, while in my presence - refrain from these things.

Don't you set the tone for what is acceptable to you with your co-workers? For your childrens friends/school-mates when they enter your home, ride in your car?

The same goes for those people you meet in the course of your day who just might become possible friends. You need to set the ground rules for what is acceptable to you.

[StrawberryFields]

Is the church there for the perfect, of the perfecting of the Saints?

Are we our brother's keeper?

Who will be in the Celestial Kingdom the ones who looked down on someones past or those who offered someone another option.

I have especially seen this happen with children in the church. A child errors and the parents of another child step in and say their child can not be friends with the "sinner". If a teenager in the church does something immoral or against the WoW do we train our children to become bigots if we tell them to shun their friend?

Shade has mentioned a few things where he has been judged and is working his way into the fold, how can he or anyone else get there without our help? We live in very cruel times but as Latter Day Saints I believe we need to be our brothers keeper and give them encouragement instead of judging them.

In my blog I posted a story which relates to what I am thinking here...

Can you make a difference?

A teacher in New York decided to honor each of her seniors in High School

by telling them the difference each of them had made. She called each

student to the front of the class, one at a time.

First, she told each of them how they had made a difference to her, and

the class. Then she presented each of them with a blue ribbon, imprinted

with gold letters, which read, "Who I Am Makes a Difference."

Afterwards, the teacher decided to do a class project, to see what kind

of impact recognition would have on a Community. She gave each of the

students three more blue ribbons, and instructed them to go out and

spread this acknowledgment ceremony.

Then they were to follow up on the results, see who honored whom, and

report to the class in about a week.

One of the boys in the class went to a junior executive in a nearby

Company, and honored him for helping him with his career planning. He

gave him a blue ribbon, and put it on his shirt.

Then he gave him two extra ribbons and said, "We're doing a class

project on recognition, and we'd like for you to go out, find somebody to

honor, give them a blue ribbon, then give them the extra blue ribbon so they can

acknowledge a third person, to keep this acknowledgment ceremony going.

Then please report back to me and tell me what happened."

Later that day, the junior executive went in to see his boss, who had

been noted, by the way, as being kind of a grouchy fellow. He sat his boss

down, and he told him that he deeply admired him for being a creative

genius. The boss seemed very surprised. The junior executive asked him

if he would accept the gift of the blue ribbon, and would he give him

permission to put it on him. His surprised boss said, "Well, sure." The

junior executive took the blue ribbon and placed it right on his boss's

jacket, above his heart. As he gave him the last extra ribbon, he said,

"Would you take this extra ribbon, and pass it on by honoring somebody

else. The young boy who first gave me the ribbons is doing a project in

school, and we want to keep this recognition ceremony going and find out

how it affects people."

That night, the boss came home to his 14-year-old son, and sat him down.

He said, "The most incredible thing happened to me today. I was in my

office, and one of the junior executives came in and told me he admired

me, and gave me a blue ribbon for being a creative genius. Imagine! He

thinks I am a creative genius! Then he put a blue ribbon that says,

"Who I Am Makes a Difference", on my jacket above my heart. He gave

me an extra ribbon and asked me to find somebody else to honor. As I was

driving home tonight, I started thinking about whom I would honor with

this ribbon, and I thought about you. I want to honor you. My days are

hectic and when I come home, I do not pay a lot of attention to you.

Sometimes I scream at you for not getting good enough grades in school,

and for your bedroom being a mess. Somehow, tonight, I just wanted to sit

here and, well, just let you know that you do make a difference to me.

Besides your mother, you are the most important person in mylife. You're

a great kid, and I love you!"

The startled boy started to sob and sob, and he could not stop crying

His whole body shook. He looked up at his father and said through his

tears,

"Dad, earlier tonight I sat in my room and wrote a letter to you and Mom,

explaining why I had took my life, and I asked you to forgive me. I was

going to commit suicide tonight after you were asleep.

”I just did not think that you cared at all. The letter is upstairs. I

don't think I need it after all."

His father walked upstairs and found a heartfelt letter full of anguish

and pain.

The boss went back to work a changed man. He was no longer a grouch, but

made sure to let all of his employees know that they made a difference.

The junior executive helped other young people with career planning, and

never forgot to let them know that they made a difference in his

life...one being the boss' son. In addition, the young boy and his

classmates learned a valuable lesson, "Who you are DOES make a

difference".

Isn't this a wonderful story? I'm passing the blue ribbon to you, for

who YOU are does make a difference, too.

[Dr T]

Good thoughts, MrsS :)