Are you close to your siblings and/or are your adult children close?

[Guest]

Both geographically and in your relationships?

 

Out of the nine of us, seven of us live within a 20-mile radius. The other two live within half a days' drive. We're not contentious but we haven't been especially close, either; though we are moreso since my dad's illness and passing.

 

I hope my children have closer relationships with each other when they're grown, and of course I hope they all end up living nearby. :)

[PolarVortex]

I have no siblings and no children, but I'm very close to a cousin who was like a sister to me when we grew up.  She and her family are two time zones away, sadly, but I see them whenever I can.  

 

I hope your children stay close, too.  In my parents' and grandparents' generations, people tended to grow up, live, and die in the same area.  Starting with my generation, kids grew up and then scattered to all 50 states and sometimes beyond.  I'm not sure this is a good thing.

[notquiteperfect]

Both geographically and in your relationships?

 

Out of the nine of us, seven of us live within a 20-mile radius. The other two live within half a days' drive. We're not contentious but we haven't been especially close, either; though we are moreso since my dad's illness and passing.

 

I hope my children have closer relationships with each other when they're grown, and of course I hope they all end up living nearby. :)

 

No and no.  I figured what's the point in living nearby when I only hear from them when they want something?

 

To explain - there are so many of us that nobody needs that many siblings to fill that bucket.  On top of that, my mom was the one who relayed all info which I'm sure helped her feel needed but it definitely had its consequences.  I saw the problem years ago and didn't play into it but it didn't change the situation because habits were already formed.

Eowyn - if you want your kids to be close when they're older, you must foster that now and take yourself out of the middle and encourage them to reach out to each other to get updates on each others' lives.

[Palerider]

We are close to all of our adult children and they are close to each other. One lives close by and the others are about an hour to hour and a half drive in either direction away from us. I have one older sister and two older half brothers. My sister and I keep in touch.

[Connie]

No, we are not close.  It would be easy to blame it all on them.  I have five big brothers and to them i was always the dumb little sister that no one wanted around.  Now they all live up north anyway so i don't see them much.  They are pretty close to each other, though.  My little sister has always preferred her friends to her family, even when we were kids.  That has only compounded as she has gained her independence, moved away from the gospel and chosen increasingly horrible friends. She does live close, and i have had many more dealings with her this past year than usual as her circumstances have changed.  It's been frustrating at times.  It seems she only sticks around us for all the free child care and help my parents have provided.

 

But you know i really am largely to blame.  I am not an easy person to get to know.  I am the most heavily introverted of the lot.  It's truly a miracle i found someone willing to muscle through my taciturn nature to get to know me enough to actually want to marry me.  It takes time, and lots of it, for someone to get to know me.  Most people aren't willing to invest that much on little old me.  I am closer to my parents than to any of my siblings.  Of course, it helps that i live only two houses away from them.

 

This is actually one of my many reasons to chose homeschooling.  I feel like in part it was the fact that we all went to public school that we never developed good relationships.  We didn't have the time to spend together.  We were always kept apart.  Our time was spent with other children who were in our age group and we had very little time to spend with our siblings.  I have been extremely happy with what i am seeing in my own children.  They have had the time to develop relationships in their childhood.  They learn together and work together and that's where they have really gotten to know each other.

[Guest MormonGator]

With only one exception I'm not that close to my uncles/aunts (or cousins). I was adopted into an Irish Catholic family so I have over ten of them on one side. We have different interests, different outlooks on life, different lifestyles.  If we were not related we wouldn't know each other. That said, we don't bicker or fight. We just don't talk. it's not a bad thing at all. It's just life. Ironically, the one exception I am very close to. I also have a great relationship with my grandmother. 

 

I am the oldest of four. My two sisters and I are close. We don't hang out much because of different schedules but we text/Facebook often.

 

My brother is one of my best friends. We talk constantly.  

 

My parents are close to a few of their siblings. With that many there is sure to be conflict between some of them. 

Edited January 19, 2015 by MormonGator

[Guest]

I am very close to my parents and my siblings - and if you dig through my backyard straight through the Earth's core and straight through the other side, you'll end up in my brother's backyard (okay, okay, exaggerating but not by much... yeah, we are exactly 12 hours time-zone difference).  My other sibling live on the other side of America from me.

 

But, that's not even all we're close to.  You can climb up my mom and dad's family tree to my great-great-grandparents and then climb down all the branches down that tree... everybody you see in that tree are close to me.  This covers 4 Continents.  And this even includes people that hang off that tree but are not really blood related.  For example - several of my aunt's and uncle's spouses have siblings that we are close to including their grandchildren.  I'm very close to my brother's wife's siblings and their children... etc.

 

Now, my kids are very close.  Family tradition when my kids are fighting - I would ask, "How many brothers do you have?", "One.", "How many brothers do you have right now?", "None", "Better fix that fast before you really lose your only brother!".  Their fights is something I don't want to have to bother with.  They got themselves into that situation, they can get themselves out of that situation.  They try to get me to referee - I don't until fists start flying, and then both of them get in trouble.  My oldest kid tries to use the "I'm older and bigger" thing to bully his younger brother... but his younger brother is not easy to bully, so I leave them alone.

 

And... my kids are close to "the tree".  Most holidays we visit another branch in the tree.  Like over winter break, we visited 3 branches - 1.) my great-grandmother's brother's grand-daughter (my dad's 2nd cousin) and her children and grandchildren, 2.) my grandfather's sister and her daughter and grandchildren., 3.) my grand-father's brother's grandson and his children.  They all live within 6 hours of each other, 17 hours away from me.  My kids text msgs/instagrams the kids in their age-group that they got to know well.

 

Last year, we spent a few months in the Philippines where they met and got to know a whole slew of relatives.  My kids viber several of them.

 

But, it used to be that we do message relays over the telephone/mail before the internet was "invented".  We had communication points - like we know if we send a letter to my uncle, he'll let everybody in the Philippines know within a few days, etc.  So getting messages to people was delayed.  Now, we have so many ways to communicate - Viber being the most used and Facebook for if you wanna tell the entire family all at once.  Like, when my dad got sick - we relied on FB to get the up-to-date info.  Just over the weekend, my cousin had an emergency surgery, my brother kept in contact with the attending doctor and gave us minute-by-minute update and had all the physicians/nurses of the family provide their opinion on what to do - who's gonna stay at the hospital, who's gonna provide aftercare, who's gonna take care of the children, etc.  And then of course, there's my niece who won the diocesan spelling bee state championship last week, etc.

[NightSG]

Most of my living family is within an hour's drive, with quite a few of them closer than 15 minutes.  The (literal) outliers are at around a two hour drive.

 

It does seem funny though that most of the families I know in the Church seem to have one extreme or the other; they're either on the same block (or sometimes still in the same house) or too far apart for even a regular weekend visit.

[Claire]

I have five siblings, four brothers and a sister. All live far away, though I would say that our relationships are still close.

 

The geographical distance was more due to the circumstances of life. I joined the navy when I graduated high school, so that caused me to move away pretty much straight away. After I got out, I wanted to use my GI bill, and the most financially sensible school I came across for my chosen major was in North Dakota. I've been here ever since (my family is still in California).

 

We were always close growing up, and we still talk on the phone fairly frequently. Some more-so than others, obviously, but certainly none of my siblings have been "disowned" or anything like that.

[Bini]

Not particularly close to any one sibling. I've always had closer connections with friends. That said, my family is scattered all over. Some of us are in the US and some in Europe.

[Backroads]

Quite close in both ways

[classylady]

I have 3 sisters and 3 brothers.  We all live in Utah (for about 8 years I had a brother that lived in Montana).  Three are in Southern Utah, and three are in Utah County.  When our families were younger we tried to get together every Thanksgiving in Southern Utah.  Most of my siblings would be able to make it every-other year.  With two of my sisters and their families we had several vacations together.  As we are aging, we do less and less together.  But, we try to get together for my mother's birthday every September.  I know that if I ever have a problem, I can call on any of my siblings for help.  One sister in particular I am very close to, but again, as we are aging, we see less of each other and seem to be growing apart.

 

For my own children, I hope they continue to have close relationships.  They are all married except the youngest.  My oldest daughter has been in South Korea for the last 5 years.  Hopefully, this Fall she will be back in Utah--that's the plan.  My next oldest lives in Seattle area.  Then all the rest live here in Utah County or SL County.  The only time we all get together is for birthdays and the holidays.  I would like to see them do more together.

[sxfritz]

I am not close to my two brothers in either way. They are both 6 hours away by plane, in two different directions. Neither use email and one doesn't have a phone (lives in the mountains in Mexico). I think this just a guy thing - to not be close as brothers.

 

Our children are very close and we do all we can to see that things stay that way by helping them with their children. I love having my granddaughter a mile away and we are happy to get her from school and take her places. There is no such thing as "babysitting" as she is just part of the family.

 

Our one son is living in Peru until he can get a visa for his wife. They have a daughter and it pains us to not be close now. Hopefully, in a few years, she's be here in the States, where her father lives just a mile away as well. They she may be just as close as our other granddaughter. 

[Windseeker]

My younger brother (4 years) is also my best friend. Online video games have kept us close despite living across the country from each other. 

 

I should be closer to my older brother (13 months apart) but he lives over seas and has always been more interested in those outside his family. He's a good guy though and I wish we were closer. 

 

My sister is a jewel and her oldest son is living with me. She was raised with 5 boys and always acted like a second "Mom". My daughter is an almost an exact copy of her personality and my nephew and I comment on it all the time.

 

My two younger brothers and I are not as close but we talk a couple times a year. 

 

My parents are good at keeping us close thru organizing reunions. My parents held a summer camp for all their grandchildren called "Cousin Camp" and it has made the cousins be pretty close. I plan to do the same for my grandkids. 

 

The way my kids fight and contend, I worry that they will ever be as close. I hope they will be. I think they will have allot to overcome. I was the peacemaker in my family and I'm certain I have the most contentious children among all my siblings.