Compromise - for askandanswer

[Vort]

And once again, this is not about loving burnt toast. This is about the mistaken thinking of having to love bad things to show someone you love them.

It's a form of expression, anatess. When Farm Boy said, "As you wish," he was saying "I love you". Same with  hubby saying he liked burnt toast.

[askandanswer]

I think its a sweet sign of a mature marriage that a couple will often have developed their own sort of language that they only use with each other, and that will only be understood by them. I suspect that many of us, if we think about it, will see such examples of this type of communication in our marriages. Eating the burnt toast is one example of a couple-specific language. Sometimes a simple glance can contain a whole volume of meaning that no one else who sees it will understand. 

Edited March 1, 2015 by askandanswer

[The Folk Prophet]

It's one thing to have a "secret language" with your spouse. It's something else entirely to teach your children something inadvertently even if it's nothing more than a secret message that really means "I love you".

 

I'm afraid I side with anatess on this one. The message to the children is lie to others so you don't offend them. Trying not offending others is a fine message. Lying in order to do it is not.

[Vort]

It's one thing to have a "secret language" with your spouse. It's something else entirely to teach your children something inadvertently even if it's nothing more than a secret message that really means "I love you".

 

I'm afraid I side with anatess on this one. The message to the children is lie to others so you don't offend them. Trying not offending others is a fine message. Lying in order to do it is not.

It's a lie only if there is intent to deceive. It seems clear to me that there was no intent to deceive by telling her he "liked" burnt toast.

[The Folk Prophet]

It's a lie only if there is intent to deceive. It seems clear to me that there was no intent to deceive by telling her he "liked" burnt toast.

 

It doesn't matter if it is a lie or not with regards to what it teaches the children. My contention is not with the sin of lying. It is with the message it gives, and, frankly, with the message the article was trying to impress on the world. And I believe this is anatess's concern as well -- that offense is, somehow, the greatest offense. Offense is an offense. But there are greater offenses. Overall this particular story is actually probably rather innocuous, but the principle remains.

[askandanswer]

This is probably stretching an analogy past breaking point but its an amusing thought to play with. I just did a quick search on the word savour in the scriptures. There are quite a few that make references to burnt offerings creating a sweet savour for the Lord. There are some for whom the smell of barbecue lamb chops might be a sweet savour, but I don't think this is what the Lord is referring to here. I think He's talking more about the sweetness of the people's obedience and sacrifice. I see some analogies here with the burnt toast. Both the Lord's comment on the smell of the burnt offerings and the husband's comment on the toast are probably not indicative of how they feel about the actual offering that is being presented to them, but is more a response to the act of offering. 

[Guest]

TFP can continue speaking for me... he has clearly demonstrated that I can trust him with it.  Much more succinct for sure.  

Edited March 2, 2015 by anatess

[theSQUIDSTER]

First I'd just like to say that I love it that anatess and TFP are so concerned about the "lie" being told in this story. There is a beauty in the razor-sharp precision and attention to detail that each of them have in the way that they perceive and describe the world. I love this about each of you! Keep being who you are. Don't ever pretend to be someone else or I'll be disappointed in you. I enjoy reading posts from both of you.

Second, I sure love the way that man "lied" to his spouse. Beautiful story. I want to be a LIAR... just like that man.

[theSQUIDSTER]

It's a form of expression, anatess. When Farm Boy said, "As you wish," he was saying "I love you". Same with hubby saying he liked burnt toast.

Thirdly, ... .. This .. ^

Vort is NOT Clark Kent. ... He's the Dread Pirate Roberts..

I bear testimony of this...

Edited March 2, 2015 by theSQUIDSTER

[The Folk Prophet]

First I'd just like to say that I love it that anatess and TFP are so concerned about the "lie" being told in this story. There is a beauty in the razor-sharp precision and attention to detail that each of them have in the way that they perceive and describe the world. I love this about each of you! Keep being who you are. Don't ever pretend to be someone else or I'll be disappointed in you. I enjoy reading posts from both of you.

 

In this case, I can't speak for anatess...but...I'd say "so concerned" is WAY overstated. I'm not concerned at all. Just talking principle.

 

But I do appreciate that you (at least one apparently) appreciate my approach.

[The Folk Prophet]

This is probably stretching an analogy past breaking point but its an amusing thought to play with. I just did a quick search on the word savour in the scriptures. There are quite a few that make references to burnt offerings creating a sweet savour for the Lord. There are some for whom the smell of barbecue lamb chops might be a sweet savour, but I don't think this is what the Lord is referring to here. I think He's talking more about the sweetness of the people's obedience and sacrifice. I see some analogies here with the burnt toast. Both the Lord's comment on the smell of the burnt offerings and the husband's comment on the toast are probably not indicative of how they feel about the actual offering that is being presented to them, but is more a response to the act of offering. 

 

This is actually incredibly insightful.

[Bini]

I can appreciate the message and do. I am totally on board with what Vort has said. I think he's on point. I would just say, and this is my own opinion, I don't like the idea of saying something literal and not meaning it literally. Did that make sense? Probably not, ha.