Bullying education in schools. Oy.

[Backroads]

So I'm reflecting on some madness of this past week. Not just Halloween, Red Ribbon Week, or the full moon, but the bullying lesson our school counselor requested from a state program.

Most teachers had to request a follow-up counselor lesson to explain to kids the difference between true bullying and feeling less than happy after a disagreement with a friend.

Now, I get fired up over bullying, but I wish more bullying education focused a little more on interpersonal relationships and personal resilience.

[Guest MormonGator]

So I'm reflecting on some madness of this past week. Not just Halloween, Red Ribbon Week, or the full moon, but the bullying lesson our school counselor requested from a state program.

Most teachers had to request a follow-up counselor lesson to explain to kids the difference between true bullying and feeling less than happy after a disagreement with a friend.

Now, I get fired up over bullying, but I wish more bullying education focused a little more on interpersonal relationships and personal resilience.

 Preach on this one. I don't like bullying either, of course, but I'd rather we raise kids to stand up for themselves instead of running and tattling. In the real world that doesn't do much. 

 

But you know the drawback? Looking back, the biggest bullies in my high school were the teachers-not because they held us accountable or punished us for wrong doings-but because they played favorites, ignored truly vile behavior (we had one guy who mercilessly and openly teased a girl into an eating disorder. No punishment) and sometimes even ganged up on the bullying. I could go on. 

Edited November 1, 2015 by MormonGator

[Guest]

I heard someone say recently that schools preach zero tolerance bullying between the kids, but the teachers and administration are given free rein to be the bullies. Unfortunately I've found that to be true a handful of times. 

[Traveler]

I do not believe that in the current climate of culture overreach that there are clear distinctions between teasing, punishment or rejection for any behaviors, outward showing of disappointment for subpar behaviors and actual bulling. Good grief, more than half of society believes any physical punishment or restraint of a child is bulling. We are even complaining in this thread about teachers having favorites – and who is actually qualified to make such a judgment as a fault? If you are a parent of at least two children you are out of touch with your own kids if one of them has never accused you of showing favoritism to the other.

I believe my father’s advice in such matters to be the most relevant. He said no matter easy a task there will always be those that will fail and no matter how difficult a task there will always be some that succeed. And that no matter how hard or how easy it is – it will always be the same ones that fail or succeed. The question then that my father would ask of his children is – which are you determined to be – one that fails even the easiest of tasks are one that finds the inner strength to succeed despite the difficulty of the task?

I believe that in our anxiousness to force some level of success on our children that we are teaching, training and dooming them to failure.

[Traveler]

Just thought I would suggest what I told my children when one would ask – “How come brother or sister gets to do something and I don’t?” I would look them square in the eyes and say because I love them more and am showing my favoritism. Then I would say that I would really like to make them my favorite but they are always complaining and arguing with me too much.

[Guest MormonGator]

The good thing is I that parents are changing to it too. In the immortal words of Rick Blaine from Casablanca, I'm no good at being noble (caveat, because this is self serving)

 

I once challenged a guy to a fight who was picking on a girl in 12th grade. We started throwing punches. Sometimes two guys in high school just have to fight. We got called the principals office and through a bloody nose and fat lip (I got my little butt whipped) I said what happened. The principal gave me a punishment while letting the other  guy off scott free. When she said I had to call my pops, I happily did so and told him the truth. His classic response was "So let me get this straight. My son defended a girls honor, got his _____ kicked, and he's the one in trouble? Gator, you are getting whatever you want for Christmas and I forbid you to do this punishment" 

 

 

Than again, my old man always was great. 

[Guest]

Straight from my kids' mouths:

 

1.)  Health Class - "Every year, we learn the same thing - If you have sex, girls get pregnant and you die."

 

2.)  Anti-Bully Class - "Every year, we learn the same thing - if you are a bully or are defending yourself from getting bullied, you get expelled if you tell teachers about it.  Be bullied and stay in school.".

[Ironhold]

Back when I was in high school, I nearly got one of the campus cops to publicly soil himself one day.

I was taking an "intro to business and personal law" class as part of a trade / college prep focus. Well, one day the teacher invited the campus cops in for a question & answer session about the law. This proved to be a big mistake.

The campus handbook said that if a fight broke out, all parties involved would be arrested for assault.

I asked the cops about it.

They all froze, a look of fear on their faces. The cop who had taken the lead on speaking looked especially confused and frightened. It took half a second for them to respond.

Once they did, they explained that - yes - the law allowed for self-defense provided that the person tried non-violent options first (warnings, disengaging, et cetra) and only used the minimum amount of force needed to stop the attack.

So yeah: I got the campus cops to admit that the handbook was fluff.

[Guest MormonGator]

It's so hard being a kid these days. I have huge sympathy for parents , but I also have it for kids too. 

When Gen Xers like me messed up it wasn't broadcast around the world in 5 minutes and our parents didn't tell everyone about it on Facebook. And Thank GOD for it. 

Edited November 3, 2015 by MormonGator

[Jamie123]

On the subject of school bullying, consider the wisdom of that great sage Nigel Molesworth, reported (as any fule kno) by Wiillans and Searle.

 

"Every skool hav a buly who is fat. There are 2 kind of buly: the buly who can run and the buly who cant run for tofee. The first sort is hardly satisfactory but bulys who cant run are beter. You see one swanking up the corridor and you whiz by shouting 'Look at the clot-faced wet!' Buly run after you but you are already disapearing over the horizon. A few days later buly come up to you at yore desk and sa 'You caled me a clot-faced wet what do you mean by it?' You sa "Honestly I would never sa something so uncouth" (fingers crossed) "someone else must think you a clot-faced wet too!" WAM! But you have nimbly skipped away and buly is left cursing. Bulys are pathetic objects I diskard!"

 

 

[P.S. Spellcheck is a menace when you're trying to quote Molesworth verbatim!]

Edited November 3, 2015 by Jamie123

[Ffenix]

 

 

2.)  Anti-Bully Class - "Every year, we learn the same thing - if you are a bully or are defending yourself from getting bullied, you get expelled if you tell teachers about it.  Be bullied and stay in school.".

I wonder what my peers will be like in ten-fifteen years if this is how things go.