How to get husband to listen


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12 minutes ago, LiterateParakeet said:

Carb, do you know the video I mean? 

I'm afraid not.  This was from an article that I once read about male/female relationships.  I'm sure the video and the article I read had similar source material.

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Guest LiterateParakeet
9 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

I'm afraid not.  This was from an article that I once read about male/female relationships.  I'm sure the video and the article I read had similar source material.

Ok, thanks. I think I might have subscribed to his channel. If so I can find it later and share it.

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Have you considered emailing or texting him? Sometimes busy people just can't stand any more interaction. You should see me by the end of the day. By Friday night, I can't even stand to watch tv but I could take a text. See text, "pick up milk". Okay, no problem. But don't spend 5 minutes explaining why you need the milk. That's too much information for my tired brain. 

I once stayed with my brother, engineer, enough said. We were in the same room and we were texting each other!

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Guest MormonGator
21 minutes ago, Sunday21 said:

 

I once stayed with my brother, engineer, enough said. We were in the same room and we were texting each other!

LadyGator and I do that, but only when we are laughing at other people in the same room ;)

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Guest MormonGator
9 minutes ago, zil said:

My favorite mode of communication was between rooms - write a note, give it to the dog, and say, "Take it to Dad!"  Eventually, sure enough, the dog would return with a response. :)

At a family reunion once my sweet little LadyGator sent me a stunning assessment of how one of my girl cousins was dressed. She was 14 trying desperately to look Miley Cyrus. She looked disgusting, actually. I burst out laughing and everyone looked at me. My sister snatched the phone, read the text and then laughed out loud too! 

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5 hours ago, LiterateParakeet said:

@Carborendum .... found it!  

Backroads, this is a short 5 min. segment of a weekend seminar on marriage-but this 5 min. video addresses your question directly.

So this guy is saying you always have to ask more than once.  Every other source I've ever heard says asking more than once is nagging, and you shouldn't nag.  There was this book, I think the title was Catch-22...

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35 minutes ago, zil said:

So this guy is saying you always have to ask more than once.  Every other source I've ever heard says asking more than once is nagging, and you shouldn't nag.  There was this book, I think the title was Catch-22...

I am not sure I agree that "You have to ask more then once"...   If that one time is asked in the correct way.  The trick is not the number of times asked but in getting it to stick.  Remember the first part of the video when he is roleplaying the left and right side of the male brain

LB:  Did you hear something?

RB: Nope..

As long as that "Nope"... is happening the man isn't hearing you.  No matter how much you might talk you aren't communicating, until his brain actually engages.  

 

 

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8 minutes ago, estradling75 said:

I am not sure I agree that "You have to ask more then once"...   If that one time is asked in the correct way.  The trick is not the number of times asked but in getting it to stick.  Remember the first part of the video when he is roleplaying the left and right side of the male brain

LB:  Did you hear something?

RB: Nope..

As long as that "Nope"... is happening the man isn't hearing you.  No matter how much you might talk you aren't communicating, until his brain actually engages.  

My point, primarily, is that we're doomed so long as the advice is all contradictory.  I like your way of putting it: (a) get his attention first, (b) ensure you actually have his attention, (c) then ask.

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Guest LiterateParakeet
59 minutes ago, zil said:

So this guy is saying you always have to ask more than once.  Every other source I've ever heard says asking more than once is nagging, and you shouldn't nag.  There was this book, I think the title was Catch-22...

Maybe we should take a poll here on LDS.net and ask the men. :)

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22 minutes ago, zil said:

My point, primarily, is that we're doomed so long as the advice is all contradictory.  I like your way of putting it: (a) get his attention first, (b) ensure you actually have his attention, (c) then ask.

That would be good advise to women...

Of course to be fair the advise to give men is...  "When you realize that you wife is talking.... pay attention."

Because improving communication should not be a one way street

Edited by estradling75
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14 hours ago, LiterateParakeet said:

@Carborendum .... found it!  

Backroads, this is a short 5 min. segment of a weekend seminar on marriage-but this 5 min. video addresses your question directly.

The preacher is pretty funny and a good storyteller. But before I invest two hours, or even ten more minutes into this guy, let me ask a couple of questions:

  1. Is the "men are so clueless" schtik common through all his stuff, or was it a feature only of this particular story?
  2. If the woman so desperately wanted it painted, why didn't he tell ter to paint her own darn ceiling?
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45 minutes ago, Vort said:

why didn't he tell ter to paint her own darn ceiling

(I agree, especially for 1-offs like that, and where she's capable of doing it herself.)

Meanwhile, time to praise my dad (and mom).  When I bought my house, my mom and dad came for the move-in event.  The garage was dry-walled, but not painted.  Dad said, "If you don't paint it now, it'll just be a lot harder later after you've got a bunch of stuff in here."  I said, "OK, let's go to the hardware store and get what we need."  Dad stared up at the ceiling, so far away (it's a very high ceiling), and said, "Well, that's gonna be hard to paint with anything but an airless paint sprayer..."   (for those who don't know, this is a big thing with a motor, a hose, and a wand with a spray head on the far end).  Mom's saving part in this is that she knew where he was going and didn't object at all.  I, of course, said, "What's that?".  Dad explained and said he'd buy it and paint the walls and ceiling (then take it home with him), if me and mom painted the concrete at the bottom of the wall and out about 4 inches of the floor - a different color, so it would look nice.  We all agreed, dad got his new toy, explained to us how to tape off the floor so it would look nice, and I got a painted garage. :) I'm pretty sure this is how it's supposed to work.

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Guest LiterateParakeet
10 hours ago, Vort said:

The preacher is pretty funny and a good storyteller. But before I invest two hours, or even ten more minutes into this guy, let me ask a couple of questions:

  1. Is the "men are so clueless" schtik common through all his stuff, or was it a feature only of this particular story?
  2. If the woman so desperately wanted it painted, why didn't he tell ter to paint her own darn ceiling?

1--- If you mean is it two hours of men bashing?  No, he teases women quite a bit as well.  

2--- I wondered the same thing.  Maybe it's one of those really high ceilings like Zil mentioned.

Somehow, I missed the memo that you aren't supposed to ask more than once.  Thank goodness my husband didn't get that memo either because sometimes he has to ask me more than once....especially if he's asking me to cut his hair.  I procrastinate because just about the time it gets to the length I prefer, he thinks it's time for a trim. :) 
 

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