The people in the back of the class

[Sunday21]

Dear Bro's & Sis's,

i have a glorious 2 months to prepare my next relief society lesson. I was thinking about the sisters in the back of the class and how to involve them. According to the church lessons on this topic, I am meant to get to know them individually and to talk to them after class/talk to them on the phone and basically make friends. Problem: I do not know their names. I have asked the sisters to write their names on name tags but the back row write their names in an illegible scrawl. Hmmm. I seriously feel that these people are in hiding (witness protection program?). They are often refugees and English is their second language. There are often separate conversions going on in the back row. To be honest, I think these sisters prefer to be left alone. I spoke to one of the sisters from the back row after our lesson on refugees and she told me part of her story poignant and very eye opening. I sighed and said, 'if only I had known that before the lesson!', she laughed as in ''I am never going to tell anyone anything that will make me part of the lesson!'

So I am considering infiltrating the backrow! I could at least learn some names. Here goes, my goal for next Sunday, infiltrate the back row. Take a notebook and learn their names!

[Guest]

Cue movie trailer guy's voice:

Quote

In a world where @Sunday21 is the master spy, infiltration's the daily activity, and salvation for the back row is the mission.

<<theme music interlude with video montage of action sequences>>

<Screen splash>   -- Mission Possible.  Christmas 2016.

<Fanfare conclusion of theme song / fade to black>

 

Edited December 11, 2016 by Guest

[An Investigator]

Good luck with that..  as a fellow RS teacher nothing else to add,  sorry!  whats your lesson on?  My next one is a Choice Seer I will raise up.  I'm considering watching a video on Joseph Smith as it's just before Christmas so I bet we are quite thin on the ground.   Anyone have any suggestions I'm all ears ?

[An Investigator]

Also as someone at Church who dislikes fussing and likes to sit at the back and would rather have the bubonic plague then say opening / closing prayers maybe a group activity might be better.

 

Edited to say with regards to prayers, I can pray and do pray at home I just hate public speaking.. I find it very stressful,  my calling isn't too bad but I have to write it word for word like a talk.

Edited December 8, 2016 by An Investigator

[zil]

I hate having anyone behind me.  I think that stems from always sitting in the back row at school (due to the way in which the first character of my last name intersected with the order of characters in the alphabet).  Not only do I always sit in the last row (when my calling doesn't require me to sit up front), Everyone jokes about my reserved seat.  The sisters who sit there during RS joke that they're keeping my spot warm for me.

But I avoid off-shoot conversations as best I can (I hate it when people do that, it's very disrespectful and distracting).  And I'm always glad to pray when asked.  And if I have something worthwhile to share, I share.  And I always prepare for the class by reading the materials ahead of time.¹

Perhaps we should:

a) Stop caring where people sit (or only care as directed by the Spirit)

b) Stop making assumptions about why people sit in the back row and what it means about them as a person

Infiltration seems like a good idea to me, but if you do it with any goal in mind other than their eternal welfare and/or in any way other than as directed by the Spirit, they'll know it.  Maybe try it out simply to see how it feels - sit in the back of every meeting you attend for a month.  Then pray about what God would have you do, if anything, for the Sisters on the Back Row².  Maybe just kind conversation between meetings and don't add to the distraction during the meeting?

True story: There's a woman (whose name I don't know, nor do my counselors) who sometimes comes to church and sometimes to RS.  She doesn't seem to interact with others.  We're not sure she's even in our ward.  I teach on the fourth Sunday (command decision ).  One such Sunday, she was there, seated alone on one side of the room, against the wall.  The lesson went well.  She did not "participate".  Next fast Sunday, she got up and bore her testimony about impressions she had received regarding her need to improve.  The things she spoke about came straight out of my lesson (beyond doubt, it was through that lesson that the Spirit taught her).  Her lack of "participation" from mortal perspective was a lie - she was fully engaged with the Spirit.  What if someone had dragged her out of her comfort zone before or during the lesson so that she was so distracted by her own discomfort that she couldn't feel the Spirit?

https://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/121.41-42?lang=eng#40

I for one will encourage good behavior, preparation, and participation, but I will not "force" it, and will only call someone by name as directed by the Spirit.  Because I know full well from personal experience and observation that it's the Spirit who teaches, and we all need different things in order to feel the Spirit, and those who choose not to do what is necessary to feel the Spirit are exercising their agency, which I must respect (so long as their agency doesn't disrupt things for others).

¹ Apparently, this task is impossible to perform, because no one else seems to do it, and everyone knows that if the teacher unexpectedly fails to show, they can ask me to teach the lesson, and I'm ready to do that.  (This is spoken of as if it's some spectacular anomaly - which seems weird to me, but then so do humans.)

² I'm starting a new club.  I may go purchase the domain name (it's available (in all its varieties) and I can get discounts - SistersOnTheBackRow.us is only $1 for the first year, and I'm liking that - us sisters on the back row...).  PM me your applications.

Edited December 8, 2016 by zil

[Guest MormonGator]

4 minutes ago, zil said:

Perhaps we should:

a) Stop caring where people sit (or only care as directed by the Spirit)

b) Stop making assumptions about why people sit in the back row and what it means about them as a person

 

Outstanding answer. When LG and I go to church we always sit in the back. 

[zil]

3 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

Outstanding answer. When LG and I go to church we always sit in the back. 

Now, do you keep your Windows start bar at the top of the screen (where it belongs) - or at least off to the side (tolerable) - rather than at the bottom (demonic idea if ever there was one)?

[Guest MormonGator]

1 minute ago, zil said:

Now, do you keep your Windows start bar at the top of the screen (where it belongs) - or at least off to the side (tolerable) - rather than at the bottom (demonic idea if ever there was one)?

Windows?!!! WINDOWS!? You are hereby demoted to number #7 again. 

Apple all the way. 

[zil]

1 minute ago, MormonGator said:

Windows?!!! WINDOWS!? You are hereby demoted to number #7 again. 

Apple all the way. 

Where did you think my programming income was coming from?  Apple have yet to assimilate the majority of business computers.

PS: We'll be holding meetings in #12's rooms (she vacated just this morning), and @LadyGator is invited, of course, but not you, cuz you're not a "Sister" even if you do like the back row.

[Vort]

I took organic chemistry in a huge room, probably 100+ students. On the first day, the professor invited us to find a seat and then sit there for each class the rest of the semester. He then mapped out all the chairs and wrote the name of the student in each seat. Thereafter, when lecturing, he would call on people by name. I thought it was a brilliant system.

I have noticed wherever I have lived that people tend to sit in the same seats in the chapel, in Sunday School classes, and in Priesthood quorum meetings. You could do something similar and make yourself out an informal map with the names of people at or near where they sit. If you don't know their names, go ask them! That might also be a good time to ask if they would be willing to e.g. pray or answer questions, if you're afraid they might not.

[LadyGator]

9 hours ago, zil said:

PS: We'll be holding meetings in #12's rooms (she vacated just this morning), and @LadyGator is invited, of course, but not you, cuz you're not a "Sister" even if you do like the back row.

Thanks I forgot to plan one for this month, glad you are on top of things. 

For the record, I don't care where I/we sit, as long as that's all I have to do is sit there. I don't have a fear of public speaking, I've been doing that since I was 11. And trust me if I want you to know my opinion you will. I just prefer not to be forced into praying out loud, or answering questions. 

[Sunday21]

On 2016-12-08 at 8:50 AM, An Investigator said:

Good luck with that..  as a fellow RS teacher nothing else to add,  sorry!  whats your lesson on?  My next one is a Choice Seer I will raise up.  I'm considering watching a video on Joseph Smith as it's just before Christmas so I bet we are quite thin on the ground.   Anyone have any suggestions I'm all ears ?

we are doing the same talk at the end of January. A video is a good idea. The church has made some lovely ones. The video equipment is not very good here. I gave up on videos because of this. Any ideas on what to do? Do you mind sharing your lesson?

[Sunday21]

@An Investigator for my most recent lesson, I called people during the week and asked them to bear their testimonies. Went well. Perhaps have people give their testimonies of Joseph smith?

[Sunday21]

@zilthank you for the good advice! I will try just to make friends and learn names. I will have to join the backrow club!

[An Investigator]

1 hour ago, Sunday21 said:

we are doing the same talk at the end of January. A video is a good idea. The church has made some lovely ones. The video equipment is not very good here. I gave up on videos because of this. Any ideas on what to do? Do you mind sharing your lesson?

I've pm'd you

[Guest MormonGator]

On December 8, 2016 at 0:52 PM, Vort said:

I took organic chemistry in a huge room, probably 100+ students. On the first day, the professor invited us to find a seat and then sit there for each class the rest of the semester. He then mapped out all the chairs and wrote the name of the student in each seat. Thereafter, when lecturing, he would call on people by name. I thought it was a brilliant system.

 

What was your major in college @Vort? Just curious. O-Chem is a brutal course. I had a friend who took it. I looked though his textbook and I've never felt more stupid in my life. Thankfully he said "I couldn't write papers on the nuances of Hamlet so we're even." 

Edited December 9, 2016 by MormonGator

[Vort]

1 hour ago, MormonGator said:

What was your major in college @Vort? Just curious. O-Chem is a brutal course. I had a friend who took it. I looked though his textbook and I've never felt more stupid in my life. Thankfully he said "I couldn't write papers on the nuances of Hamlet so we're even." 

I was a zoology/microbiology major until just before my senior year, when I switched to physics.

[Guest MormonGator]

24 minutes ago, Vort said:

I was a zoology/microbiology major until just before my senior year, when I switched to physics.

Mine was English. 

[Guest]

Mine was History.  Then I changed to pre-pharmacy, but I couldn't get past Chemistry II (which is before Organic Chemistry).  Then back to History - older, wiser, and significantly humbled.

Edited December 9, 2016 by DoctorLemon

[Guest MormonGator]

6 minutes ago, DoctorLemon said:

Mine was History.  Then I changed to pre-pharmacy, but I couldn't get past Chemistry II (which is before Organic Chemistry).  Then back to History - older, wiser, and significantly humbled.

"First I studied math, then I became too stupid for it and switched to history. Than I became too stupid for history and switched to philosophy."-paraphrased from Bertrand Russell

[LadyGator]

On 12/9/2016 at 1:28 PM, Sunday21 said:

The video equipment is not very good here. I gave up on videos because of this. Any ideas on what to do? Do you mind sharing your lesson?

The ladies that I have seen do videos have downloaded them to their laptops before coming to the church and then connected their laptop to the projector. I don't know if your ward or computer have those capabilities, so it's just a thought for  you.

[anatess2]

2 hours ago, LadyGator said:

The ladies that I have seen do videos have downloaded them to their laptops before coming to the church and then connected their laptop to the projector. I don't know if your ward or computer have those capabilities, so it's just a thought for  you.

Ours don't bother with the projector.  They just turn the lectern around and sit the laptop on it for all to see - oh, yeah, we have a portable lectern that sits on top of the teacher desk.  One time, the EQ took our lectern so we just used the music stand... which almost ended up in disaster when the music stand "head" fell backward due to the knob not being set tight enough... good thing the pianist decided to sit on the piano bench for the whole lesson so she caught the laptop as it fell backward...

[askandanswer]

On 12/9/2016 at 2:35 AM, MormonGator said:

Outstanding answer. When LG and I go to church we always sit in the back. 

do they let you in if LG is not with you?

Edited December 11, 2016 by askandanswer

[askandanswer]

On 12/9/2016 at 0:50 AM, An Investigator said:

Good luck with that..  as a fellow RS teacher nothing else to add,  sorry!  whats your lesson on?  My next one is a Choice Seer I will raise up.  I'm considering watching a video on Joseph Smith as it's just before Christmas so I bet we are quite thin on the ground.   Anyone have any suggestions I'm all ears ?

I think that late December is a great time to give a lesson about Joseph Smith given that his birthday was 23 December. 

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

On 12/8/2016 at 5:12 AM, Sunday21 said:

Dear Bro's & Sis's,

i have a glorious 2 months to prepare my next relief society lesson. I was thinking about the sisters in the back of the class and how to involve them. According to the church lessons on this topic, I am meant to get to know them individually and to talk to them after class/talk to them on the phone and basically make friends.

Sunday, I think it is so sweet that you are trying to magnify your calling.  However, I agree with those that said to leave them be.  

I agree with the idea that people sit in the back for different reasons, and they are quiet for different reasons.  I think those manuals you are referring to are well intended, but just because someone quietly sits in the back does not mean that they "need" to be included.  I don't sit in the back in RS, but I also don't say much. In fact, pretty much the only time I say something is when I strongly disagree with something that has been said....then I try to diplomatically offer my thoughts.  (In other words, you probably don't want me to speak up in your class.  )   I don't want to be called upon just because someone is trying to include me.  I hate that.  There is nothing wrong with being an introvert.  

Be careful of unintended consequences.  If they prefer not to speak during class, and you try to include them against their wishes, they could just stop coming.