Asks a lot

[Sar🐻]

Lately I feel like too much is being asked of me at church. I’ve started resenting serving in my callings (was YW Pres now in RS pres) and serving in the ward in general. I don’t have any friends or connect with people at church...my ward is either young moms or empty nesters and I’m right in between with young school aged kids. I just don’t connect with anyone at church and it takes up sooo much of my time. Aside from callings I’m asked to speak in church, minister to other sisters, bring meals etc and I feel like I’m getting nothing in return. I am SO blessed and KNOW the church is true but I’m not doing this out of love anymore I’m doing it out of duty. The worst part is, there is NO THANKS! In fact, as YW pres all I heard was complaints...and when it was all over and I’d given my heart and soul to these girls for 2 years I was released without a thank-you and it was so abrupt. WHAT CAN I DO I literally feel on the verge of quitting church although my testimony is stronger than ever.

[Guest MormonGator]

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way.  Have you spoken to the bishop about this? Maybe you could ask him to be released so you have some time to yourself and family? 

[NeedleinA]

Here is a thread by another member in almost your exact position that was just posted 1 week ago. It is worth a read I think.

Ultimately, don't quit Church. Sounds like you need to lighten your Church load a lot, take a calling breather for a while and regain your footing.
If faced with the prospect of quitting Church OR drastically lightening your load...always chose to lighten the load. You just finished a heavy hitter calling and right back into another. You can honestly get burned out especially with kids at home.

An active member without a calling is better than an inactive member without a calling. Either way you don't have a calling, but one option keeps you around the gospel and the other doesn't.

Chin up, stand tall and do what is best for you and your family. Even considering leaving church means you not in healthy place right now.

Edited June 19, 2018 by NeedleinA

[anatess2]

30 minutes ago, Sar🐻 said:

Lately I feel like too much is being asked of me at church. I’ve started resenting serving in my callings (was YW Pres now in RS pres) and serving in the ward in general. I don’t have any friends or connect with people at church...my ward is either young moms or empty nesters and I’m right in between with young school aged kids. I just don’t connect with anyone at church and it takes up sooo much of my time. Aside from callings I’m asked to speak in church, minister to other sisters, bring meals etc and I feel like I’m getting nothing in return. I am SO blessed and KNOW the church is true but I’m not doing this out of love anymore I’m doing it out of duty. The worst part is, there is NO THANKS! In fact, as YW pres all I heard was complaints...and when it was all over and I’d given my heart and soul to these girls for 2 years I was released without a thank-you and it was so abrupt. WHAT CAN I DO I literally feel on the verge of quitting church although my testimony is stronger than ever.

This is a hard lesson I learned from when my dad got sick with lung cancer.  I did a lot for my dad.  Prayed to God for help.  Begged and pleaded on my knees.  I was so sure God would heal my dad because of my faith.  But no.  My dad passed away.  But before he passed away, I started to become resentful.  For example, I would make him breakfast at 5am so he can take his meds at 6am and he would yell at me and tell me the food sucks.  Anyway, I railed at God for all the injustice, especially as He took my dad away from me.  But after I finally humbled myself to listen to the Spirit I realized God prolonged my dad's life not for my dad but for me.  I needed to learn a few hard lessons - one of these lessons was the true meaning of Service.  The entire time I served my dad, I did not realize that I treated Service as something to make me feel good.  I served so that people will thank me, praise me, or so that I can tell myself that I'm a good person.  This was not true Charity.  The gospel is clear on this matter - don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.  I should have served my dad not so I can get his approval or praise - which is what I've done my whole life, busting my bum in school so my dad will be proud of me, etc...  I should have served my dad freely because I love him.  I shouldn't need to be thanked or praised or made to feel anything special.  Being able to serve is the reward.  This is my testimony on the pure love of Charity.

So, this is my advice to you.  If you can't serve freely with love without seeking something in return other than the blessing of having served, then it is best to turn down the calling until such time that you have the renewed faith and energy to be able to do so.  To renew this faith in true service, go back to the basics - start with a simpler calling that you have ample energy for and truly serve without having to feel the need of any reward other than the ability and opportunity to exercise Charity.

Now, as I say this, I'm only one person in the vast internet... like everything else, my thoughts are only worth 2 cents or what you paid for it - whichever is cheaper. 

 

 

[Midwest LDS]

I feel for you sister. Ask anyone on this board, and I'm sure you will find that we have all had times where we felt overwhelmed by our callings (for me it was cub scouts shudder☺). I would suggest two things. First, you need to remember the number one reason why you go to church. You go to "work out your salvation with fear and trembling" as it says in Philippians 2:12. Strengthening your relationship with Jesus Christ has to be the foundation of why you go to church. Serving in callings, ministering, helping others is good, but solidifying your relationship with our Savior must be paramount. That's how I motivate myself. I go for Him before anything else. Second, you also need to remember another scripture Mosiah 4:27 "And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength..." You are obviously feeling burned out, and it's important to recognize that feeling, so you can remedy the situation rather than throwing up your hands and quitting. Let your Bishop know what you are going through and request a different calling or even a full release, that's completely ok. Work on your own spiritual struggles for a bit and, when you are ready again, you can take on more challenging callings with a renewed faith in and renewed strength from Jesus Christ. God bless you in your struggles sister.

[Sunday21]

I confess that whenever I get a calling, I try to streamline the tasks involved. I also volunteer for callings that I know that I can manage. Good luck!

[Overwatch]

2 hours ago, Sar🐻 said:

Lately I feel like too much is being asked of me at church. I’ve started resenting serving in my callings (was YW Pres now in RS pres) and serving in the ward in general. I don’t have any friends or connect with people at church...my ward is either young moms or empty nesters and I’m right in between with young school aged kids. I just don’t connect with anyone at church and it takes up sooo much of my time. Aside from callings I’m asked to speak in church, minister to other sisters, bring meals etc and I feel like I’m getting nothing in return. I am SO blessed and KNOW the church is true but I’m not doing this out of love anymore I’m doing it out of duty. The worst part is, there is NO THANKS! In fact, as YW pres all I heard was complaints...and when it was all over and I’d given my heart and soul to these girls for 2 years I was released without a thank-you and it was so abrupt. WHAT CAN I DO I literally feel on the verge of quitting church although my testimony is stronger than ever.

Sup Sister (SarBearFace)

THANK YOU!!!!! For serving and giving all you have to others. Thank you for getting up every day and getting things done; putting food on the table for the kids and Loving the people in your life. I know it can get exhausting.

I am sorry you loved the girls and didn't even get a thank you. Either from them or the Bishopric (I know you are released with a thank you from the pulpit but still) ...

Look, don't get burnt out all the way. Don't fizzle to nothing and resent the people you loved. If you did it for the praise of men then by all means be angry, you have every right to be. "Hehe, thanks for nothing schmuck, okay let's get another body in here. The girls aren't going to teach themselves" ... lol ..

Sister, I know you served out of Love. Heavenly Father saw it ALL. I wish there were more sisters like you, the devils would not have a chance with our youth with more examples like yours.