Sign in to follow this  
Junior

Did you ever use second hand things with your baby?

Recommended Posts

@Junior - My parents raised a bunch of kids and none of us were put in costly strollers, cribs, outfits, etc yet all of us survived just fine. Please be a voice of reason to your girlfriend and keep in mind that giving in is not always the best thing to do.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/9/2019 at 7:43 PM, Manners Matter said:

@Junior - My parents raised a bunch of kids and none of us were put in costly strollers, cribs, outfits, etc yet all of us survived just fine. Please be a voice of reason to your girlfriend and keep in mind that giving in is not always the best thing to do.

Yes she is just not an easy person to reason with but I am going to try and show her the necessity to save money is more important than having expensive items. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Alia Thank you for the advice. 

 

On 3/9/2019 at 10:45 AM, Alia said:

   That's so sweet, you sound totally committed to your baby which is the most important thing. 

Yes I am

 

On 3/9/2019 at 10:45 AM, Alia said:

I was naive when my son was born and I am still naive now. Being a parent is a journey no one is totally prepared and no one is an expert. 

On 3/9/2019 at 10:21 AM, Junior said:

I think my girlfriend has really good maternal instincts so I think she will be fine mostly. I do want to help her stop worrying about things though because constantly worrying may detract from the joy she should have about becoming a mother. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, Junior said:

I think my girlfriend has really good maternal instincts so I think she will be fine mostly. I do want to help her stop worrying about things though because constantly worrying may detract from the joy she should have about becoming a mother. 

It is good to worry, lots can go wrong and she should be on alert for potential dangers. I remember when my son was a few months old and I saw on the news a toddler pulled over a chest of drawers and was crushed to death. I freaked out and had my husband remove any furniture that could easily be pulled over. Looking back now it was a tad extreme but my maternal instincts kicked in. I now realise probably because I leave my son most days that I can't remove every danger from him but if you pray over your child then you will trust that they are safe.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 minutes ago, Alia said:

It is good to worry, lots can go wrong and she should be on alert for potential dangers. I remember when my son was a few months old and I saw on the news a toddler pulled over a chest of drawers and was crushed to death. I freaked out and had my husband remove any furniture that could easily be pulled over. Looking back now it was a tad extreme but my maternal instincts kicked in. I now realise probably because I leave my son most days that I can't remove every danger from him but if you pray over your child then you will trust that they are safe.

Yeah I love that she thinks of all the things that can go wrong because it means we can prevent the baby being harmed. I just want her to not be in a constant state of nervousness because that isn't healthy for her. I am going to pray and bless my child as much as my girlfriend will let me :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, Junior said:

Yeah I love that she thinks of all the things that can go wrong because it means we can prevent the baby being harmed. I just want her to not be in a constant state of nervousness because that isn't healthy for her. I am going to pray and bless my child as much as my girlfriend will let me :)

She should pray for your child too, it will help her to relax and trust in God to keep the baby safe. You shouldn't need your girlfriend's permission to pray for your child ... 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 hours ago, Alia said:

She should pray for your child too, it will help her to relax and trust in God to keep the baby safe. You shouldn't need your girlfriend's permission to pray for your child ... 

Yes I can pray for the child as much as I want to :) It is just that she doesn't like it when I practice my religion around her because it bothers her. So I will have to pray on my own and bless the baby away from her. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, Junior said:

It is just that she doesn't like it when I practice my religion around her because it bothers her. So I will have to pray on my own and bless the baby away from her. 

And you're okay with that? 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Alia said:

And you're okay with that? 

In previous posts, Junior has made it clear that he's not okay with it, but that it is what it is. He has stated that he intends not to marry his girlfriend, in part at least because of her hostility toward the Church.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Alia said:

And you're okay with that? 

 

No I'm not okay with it, it makes me sad because practicing my religion is a big part of my life and it makes me sad that I can't share it with my girlfriend and that I will only have limited opportunities to share it with my child. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Vort said:

In previous posts, Junior has made it clear that he's not okay with it, but that it is what it is. He has stated that he intends not to marry his girlfriend, in part at least because of her hostility toward the Church.

Regardless of whether he marries her, he needs to address his girlfriend's feelings. He obviously cares for her so he should listen to her concerns and try to reassure her. It sounds as if they will be coparenting so best for them to get on the same page sooner rather than later. 

1 hour ago, Junior said:

No I'm not okay with it, it makes me sad because practicing my religion is a big part of my life and it makes me sad that I can't share it with my girlfriend and that I will only have limited opportunities to share it with my child. 

Junior you need to address this with her at some point. I have been in a similar position with my brother as he is of a different faith and it was hard for him to accept my new beliefs and the way I lived out my faith. You need to get to the bottom of why she dislikes you being a member of the church. Is it because she feels you being a member impacts your relationship with her in a way she doesn't like? Or does she simply dislike the church in general maybe because she misunderstands the beliefs. Either way you have to address it for both of your sakes.  

 

My parents were of different faiths and there was never any contention. It is possible... 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/7/2019 at 11:05 AM, Junior said:

Car seats can expire? 

In addition to the other responses, plastics are known to become brittle and prone to shattering/cracking with age.  Expiration dates on car seats are set partially on how long the plastic can maintain it's structural integrity under crash-impact forces. 

While it's unlikely that a recently expired car seat will crack or shatter, the expiration date indicates the age at which neither the manufacturer nor governmental regulating agencies can/will guarantee the safety of the product. Given the cargo they carry, expired seats ought to be replaced as soon as possible.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 hours ago, Alia said:

Junior you need to address this with her at some point. I have been in a similar position with my brother as he is of a different faith and it was hard for him to accept my new beliefs and the way I lived out my faith. You need to get to the bottom of why she dislikes you being a member of the church. Is it because she feels you being a member impacts your relationship with her in a way she doesn't like? Or does she simply dislike the church in general maybe because she misunderstands the beliefs. Either way you have to address it for both of your sakes.  

 

I have tried to before but she doesn't like the church in general, because she thinks it is a bit crazy. She also doesn't like me being part of the church because she thinks that I prioritise the church over her, which I have been trying to do but she gets so upset about it. I did try to reassure her before by telling her besides church commitments and my relationship with God her and the baby are my priority but she didn't like that either. I don't know if there is a way that I can reassure her. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, MarginOfError said:

In addition to the other responses, plastics are known to become brittle and prone to shattering/cracking with age.  Expiration dates on car seats are set partially on how long the plastic can maintain it's structural integrity under crash-impact forces. 

While it's unlikely that a recently expired car seat will crack or shatter, the expiration date indicates the age at which neither the manufacturer nor governmental regulating agencies can/will guarantee the safety of the product. Given the cargo they carry, expired seats ought to be replaced as soon as possible.

 I could only find a manufacturer date on the seat I was given so I'm going to buy a new one to make sure the baby is safe. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Junior said:

I have tried to before but she doesn't like the church in general, because she thinks it is a bit crazy. She also doesn't like me being part of the church because she thinks that I prioritise the church over her, which I have been trying to do but she gets so upset about it. I did try to reassure her before by telling her besides church commitments and my relationship with God her and the baby are my priority but she didn't like that either. I don't know if there is a way that I can reassure her. 

I think you can and should find ways to reassure her with your actions. Invite her to go to church with you, sure she will probably say no but at least she will feel included. Don't hang around after church too much on a Sunday go and see your girlfriend. Introduce her to some of your friends from church, she probably feels like you have a whole other life she knows nothing about and I am sure that upsets her. Anyway don't just accept the status quo actively do things to demonstrate you being a member of the church isn't taking you away from her or the baby and they can be included even if your girlfriend doesn't subscribe to the beliefs.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Alia said:

I think you can and should find ways to reassure her with your actions. Invite her to go to church with you, sure she will probably say no but at least she will feel included. Don't hang around after church too much on a Sunday go and see your girlfriend. Introduce her to some of your friends from church, she probably feels like you have a whole other life she knows nothing about and I am sure that upsets her. Anyway don't just accept the status quo actively do things to demonstrate you being a member of the church isn't taking you away from her or the baby and they can be included even if your girlfriend doesn't subscribe to the beliefs.  

Yeah if I decide to stay with her after the baby is born then I hope she will let me take the child to church and she will come too, to help me care for them. I don't think she will though. I want to get a good balance of keeping up my church commitments as well as nog neglecting her or the baby, so it will be easy to achieve that if they come with me, if they don't then it will be tough for me to do both 

Edited by Junior

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this