The Law Of Chastity

[MorningStar]

Last night I went to my old visiting teaching companion's house for dinner and she said how she was looking for someone to teach the lesson in Relief Society when she goes out of town. I volunteered because I like a challenge and it helps motivate me to study more. Anyway, it's on The Law of Chastity. I can't remember the last time we had a lesson on this. I realize this could be a very sensitive subject with it addressing pornography and the fact that some people probably still feel bad about past transgressions. So, I'm a little nervous and hope I can present the message in an uplifting manner, leaving the women feeling more commited and able to protect their families from the temptations that surround us.

The lesson is here if you're interested in reading it. Please share your thoughts as I take the next week or so to prepare for this. During the section on pornography, I am thinking I will bring up the forms that tend to affect women. Recently we had a regional fireside on pornography addiction and they said the women are catching up with the men, but it tends to be things like sexual chats with men online and that sort of thing with so many women being home alone. People tend to think of pornography as being images, but really it's anything that is meant to arouse. We will also discuss how to keep our chidren away from it.

I think I'll share a story my friend told me. They had some friends in their last ward and when the husband was alone, he ended up looking at pornography and immediately told his wife when she got home and asked her to put a password on the computer and install filters. He said he was surprised by how much power it had over him and it was like having a magazine rack in the living room and being told not to look at it. I had never thought of it that way and I was so impressed that he told his wife like that. :) I also want to discuss how the stores have garbage at eye level for our kids to look at and how we can petition them to move it or get rid of it. Fred Meyer now has a "family friendly aisle" with no magazines and I actually see a lot of people standing in that line when others are open. We could all fill out comment cards asking for additional family friendly aisles.

I would really appreciate any thoughts you have on protecting our kids especially. Being the mom of three boys, it's a little scary sometimes.

Thanks,

MorningStar

[poulsenll]

I would really appreciate any thoughts you have on protecting our kids especially. Being the mom of three boys, it's a little scary sometimes.

Thanks,

MorningStar

Teach them what it is, what the purposes of the purveyers are and what harm it can do and has done to those who participate in it. There is no need to show them any of it but they need to have enough information to recognize it and be able to make a decision to avoid it like the plague. Trying to hide it is like sweeping the dust under the carpet in order to hide it, there is always more dust and eventually it will make a lump in the carpet that will only arouse curiosity.

Larry P

[Captain-Jack]

I have always thought the Law of Chastity is one of the most key. All doctrine is important, but I've always thought it the worst that you would have to tell someone that you love and they love you, that you have given something away you can never get back.

[MorningStar]

I agree. It's very hard to undo the damage and difficult to forgive yourself.

[MorningStar]

Teach them what it is, what the purposes of the purveyers are and what harm it can do and has done to those who participate in it. There is no need to show them any of it but they need to have enough information to recognize it and be able to make a decision to avoid it like the plague. Trying to hide it is like sweeping the dust under the carpet in order to hide it, there is always more dust and eventually it will make a lump in the carpet that will only arouse curiosity.

Larry P

That's a good analogy. We told our oldest son recently that if anyone ever shows him magazines or pictures on the computer with no clothes on, he needs to walk away immediately and let us know - that those pictures aren't OK with Heavenly Father. We had "the talk" and explained that mommies and daddies can be together with no clothes on and that that's OK with Heavenly Father. We talked a bit about Adam and Eve and he was totally fine with the whole conversation. Afterwards he asked, "How does the heart work?" :) My husband and his siblings learned all about how babies are made on the playground. Ugh. I found out in Kindergarten from a friend and then she showed me her parents Penthouse Magazine, which they seemed to have actually shown her since she knew the name. I said, "Your parents are sick." She said, "No, that's what adults do when they love each other." I repeated, "Your parents are sick." That was a very disturbing way to learn about it.

[Jigglysaint]

You know some days I wish I was addicted to porn. At least then it would be easier to explain to the Bishop why I'm not worthy.

[MorningStar]

You know some days I wish I was addicted to porn. At least then it would be easier to explain to the Bishop why I'm not worthy.

Noooooo. If you're already having a problem, you don't want another one on top of it. And that's a huge problem.

[Garden Girl]

I think one thing people need to remember is that our thoughts are important also... There are scriptures that say we will be judged by our every thought and word also... It's like the scripture that says that if a man lusts after a woman it is as if he has committed adultery... and that applies to women also... that's why if we start to dwell mentally on sexual images, we need to turn away quickly. Just because we don't "do" something, doesn't mean we aren't vulnerable. It is what is in our hearts and minds also.

Adults who reach my age aren't generally going to be doing much committing of adultery, but the thoughts need to be controlled also...

The Garden Girl

[Maya]

My oldest daughter was ok til she got 16. She was very LDS... then she made a sudden turn quite unexpectedly and ... got pregnant. She married the guy got an other baby after 5 years but devorced too. You never know about youth.. all you can do is pray. My second knew to use prevention which was given to her freely from healtservices at the age of 14 without her moms knowing anything.

My sons are still ok. The older told that he walks away if he sees a certain gang around computer. I just hope the other one does that too...

Forgiveness in those sinns is difficult. World says it is ok if you are not married and if you married and cant take it so devorce... Easy isnt it! But I do not believe they really know, how much it destroys and can hurt the relationships then or later. It is difficult as the world do not see the importance and meaning of marriage and pure singlelife....

Like someone here said there are many ways to brake that law not only sex before marriage or with an other partner but pornography and probably you should add molesting of children to it too... isnt that a sexual act too? My ex had childpornography magazines I hated that. But still there is promised forgiveness to everyone who will repend...totally! Not forget but repend.

Just my 5 pence worth...

[MorningStar]

My oldest daughter was ok til she got 16. She was very LDS... then she made a sudden turn quite unexpectedly and ... got pregnant. She married the guy got an other baby after 5 years but devorced too. You never know about youth.. all you can do is pray. My second knew to use prevention which was given to her freely from healtservices at the age of 14 without her moms knowing anything.

My sons are still ok. The older told that he walks away if he sees a certain gang around computer. I just hope the other one does that too...

Forgiveness in those sinns is difficult. World says it is ok if you are not married and if you married and cant take it so devorce... Easy isnt it! But I do not believe they really know, how much it destroys and can hurt the relationships then or later. It is difficult as the world do not see the importance and meaning of marriage and pure singlelife....

Like someone here said there are many ways to brake that law not only sex before marriage or with an other partner but pornography and probably you should add molesting of children to it too... isnt that a sexual act too? My ex had childpornography magazines I hated that. But still there is promised forgiveness to everyone who will repend...totally! Not forget but repend.

Just my 5 pence worth...

Hi!

Thank you for your comments. :) I've known a few people whose predators tried to lure them in with pornography, so maybe I will bring that up.

[rickg]

Touchy subject. My wife gave that lesson(on porn) in RS some 20 years ago. She said it was the most difficult lesson she ever gave in church. But she also learned alot from it. Learned how the addiction works, like a drug addiction, literally. It gave her a little more empathy for those in it's grasp, sad though it is.

I was friends with a fella a few years ago that's a counselor, and has been a Bishop a couple times. He and I got on this subject one day. He's apparently friends with a few prof's at BYU that are in the counsling area too. He told me about a study they did several years ago, and came up with some astonishing results. The one I remember is that in any given sacrement meeting, in any given ward, 70% of the members in that meeting either have had, are now having, or will have immorality issues.

A strong witness to how human we all are.

[MorningStar]

Touchy subject. My wife gave that lesson(on porn) in RS some 20 years ago. She said it was the most difficult lesson she ever gave in church. But she also learned alot from it. Learned how the addiction works, like a drug addiction, literally. It gave her a little more empathy for those in it's grasp, sad though it is.

I was friends with a fella a few years ago that's a counselor, and has been a Bishop a couple times. He and I got on this subject one day. He's apparently friends with a few prof's at BYU that are in the counsling area too. He told me about a study they did several years ago, and came up with some astonishing results. The one I remember is that in any given sacrement meeting, in any given ward, 70% of the members in that meeting either have had, are now having, or will have immorality issues.

A strong witness to how human we all are.

We had a regional fireside on pornography recently. The sister who taught it said that it was like three drugs rolled into one - a hallucinogen, a downer, and an upper. I think those were the three.

[Jigglysaint]

Try imagining they are coated in mayonnaise. That should do it. Actually, I have seen many a cheese slice coated in mayonnaise. It's disgusting.

Yes but most of them were on sandwiches, which is not part of the "thing". It must be the cheese slice standing alone eaten by itself for it to work. Now if somebody were to dip the cheese slice into mayo and eat it like that, that would be gross for sure. I'll try that.

[imported_Zeke]

It's like the scripture that says that if a man lusts after a woman it is as if he has committed adultery...

Do you think that lust is adultery? If so then *every* human that has ever lived is an adulterer. Its part of what it is to be human.

[Jigglysaint]

Yup. There's also a ton of other stuff humans do that are sins as well. It's why Jesus had to die for us. I think we are quite lucky that God doesn't strike us dead when we do sin.

[MorningStar]

So you've never seen a person eat a mayonnaise coated Kraft Single after it has fallen out of their sandwich? It's a disturbing sight. I believe in aversion therapy. A friend of mine started to develop feelings for her therapist when he became the only man in her life who understood her and I would write to her every day and make up horrible things about him to make him less attractive in her eyes. It might have worked a little bit. I don't know what she ever saw in him. The man ate garbage out of the dumpster! (That's one of the things I made up.)

[Garden Girl]

The Adversary...Satan... knows we are commanded to live the Law of Chastity... he uses our natural feelings and instincts against people, and to make feelings of guilt and uncleaness... filling people with self-loathing... when that happens they get into a vicious circle and spiral downward until they finally feel no hope and give up. Then many give in and get in deeper...

It is devastating to not only the person involved, but to family... Satan knows exactly what he is doing and where we are vulnerable.

Garden Girl

[Jigglysaint]

You guys(er, girls) can say that easy. Most of you are married women, or at least were married before hitting 30(an assumption, yes).

I'm a guy who's almost 30 and may never get the chance to marry due to circumstances. The only girl in my life may be unsuitable for marrage for reason she can't control. I am starting to believe that I can't have my manhood and hold a temple reccommend.

[SMG]

Hon, don't give up on yourself. The Adversary tells you that you are worthless, not good enough, or hopeless or fill in the blank, NOT God! Remember that.

[Ron Beron]

Do you think that lust is adultery? If so then *every* human that has ever lived is an adulterer. Its part of what it is to be human.

I asked my bishop about this before I got married 30 years ago. He essentially stated that it was okay to lust...only after your wife or husband. I have been doing ever since.

[Still_Small_Voice]

Do you think that lust is adultery? If so then *every* human that has ever lived is an adulterer. Its part of what it is to be human.

"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery;' but I tell you that everyone who gazes at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart." Matthew 5:27-28 (Hebrew Names Version)

To notice a woman dressed in modest apparel and think she is attractive and leave it at that and nothing more is not committing adultery. But to gaze or want a woman you are not married to with sexual desire is the start of adultery. If we stop this sin at its root it will not progress to adultery or fornication.

[Jeny]

Is it a sin to lust everytime I see a dunkin donuts sign? I miss my coffee!!!

[MorningStar]

Is it a sin to lust everytime I see a dunkin donuts sign? I miss my coffee!!!

Have you tried aversion therapy?

I think I would know how you feel if I had to give up chocolate, but luckily that's never been required of me.

[Jeny]

Have you tried aversion therapy?

I think I would know how you feel if I had to give up chocolate, but luckily that's never been required of me.

If they make me give up chocolate, they might as well shoot me now!!!

[Garden Girl]

Hi Zeke...

I just noticed your question to me on lusting/adultery...

Still Small Voice gave the answer IMO...

The Garden Girl