Us funny Brits


SmilingRedhead
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I found this and thought I'd share it with you all. It's quite funny and done with tongue in cheek as not all Brits are like this of course... :D If you need any 'translating' then just let me know :)

You know you've been in the UK for a long time when...

1. You don't even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the day is like. You know it is overcast.

2. You realize it is a general belief that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are all good nights for drinking. Sunday day is also entirely reasonable.

3. You can't remember what 'customer service' means.

4. You start to accept queuing as a way of life.

5. More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive.

6. You always call soccer 'football' ...and you have a team...and it's not Manchester United.

7. You don't think twice about buying a packaged sandwich.

8. A sunny lunchtime means avoiding the park where any patch of grass is occupied by other ‘ lunch-breakers’ who have stripped off practically down to their underwear.

9. You expect men to actually cut, comb and style their hair (using hair products) - and to wear decent clothes. Jeans and a t-shirt are no longer socially acceptable.

10. You think 30 quid for a haircut is quite reasonable.

11. You finish every sentence with "Cheers" or "Innit", and start every conversation with 'Hiya'.

12. You start thinking English cuisine isn't all that bad after all - it's hard to beat a full English breakfast or pie and chips.

13. You are on to your sixth umbrella and your second overcoat.

14. You buy a disposable mini BBQ from Argos or Tesco's just in case there's a nice Summer evening to cook outside.

15. You realize your sunscreen was bought 2 years ago and it’s still half full.

16. A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn't even enter your head.

17. You actually say "it's all gone a bit pear shaped".

18. Wearing a suit in a pub is relatively normal attire.

19. You have given up explaining why you are half an hour late to work as no-one notices or even cares as it's usually traffic. In fact - you may even join the one hour gossip session around the water dispenser before turning on your computer.

20. For many employees, coming to work with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed expected at least once a week.

21. When driving your car you will be looking for people randomly stepping out onto the road in an attempt to cross in busy traffic.

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I found this and thought I'd share it with you all. It's quite funny and done with tongue in cheek as not all Brits are like this of course... :D If you need any 'translating' then just let me know :)

You know you've been in the UK for a long time when...

1. You don't even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the day is like. You know it is overcast.

2. You realize it is a general belief that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are all good nights for drinking. Sunday day is also entirely reasonable.

3. You can't remember what 'customer service' means.

4. You start to accept queuing as a way of life.

5. More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive.

6. You always call soccer 'football' ...and you have a team...and it's not Manchester United.

7. You don't think twice about buying a packaged sandwich.

8. A sunny lunchtime means avoiding the park where any patch of grass is occupied by other ‘ lunch-breakers’ who have stripped off practically down to their underwear.

9. You expect men to actually cut, comb and style their hair (using hair products) - and to wear decent clothes. Jeans and a t-shirt are no longer socially acceptable.

10. You think 30 quid for a haircut is quite reasonable.

11. You finish every sentence with "Cheers" or "Innit", and start every conversation with 'Hiya'.

12. You start thinking English cuisine isn't all that bad after all - it's hard to beat a full English breakfast or pie and chips.

13. You are on to your sixth umbrella and your second overcoat.

14. You buy a disposable mini BBQ from Argos or Tesco's just in case there's a nice Summer evening to cook outside.

15. You realize your sunscreen was bought 2 years ago and it’s still half full.

16. A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn't even enter your head.

17. You actually say "it's all gone a bit pear shaped".

18. Wearing a suit in a pub is relatively normal attire.

19. You have given up explaining why you are half an hour late to work as no-one notices or even cares as it's usually traffic. In fact - you may even join the one hour gossip session around the water dispenser before turning on your computer.

20. For many employees, coming to work with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed expected at least once a week.

21. When driving your car you will be looking for people randomly stepping out onto the road in an attempt to cross in busy traffic.

Halarious! I am a confessed UK wannabe. Love it!! :D

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I found this and thought I'd share it with you all. It's quite funny and done with tongue in cheek as not all Brits are like this of course... :D If you need any 'translating' then just let me know :)

You know you've been in the UK for a long time when...

1. You don't even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the day is like. You know it is overcast.

2. You realize it is a general belief that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are all good nights for drinking. Sunday day is also entirely reasonable.

3. You can't remember what 'customer service' means.

4. You start to accept queuing as a way of life.

5. More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive.

6. You always call soccer 'football' ...and you have a team...and it's not Manchester United.

7. You don't think twice about buying a packaged sandwich.

8. A sunny lunchtime means avoiding the park where any patch of grass is occupied by other ‘ lunch-breakers’ who have stripped off practically down to their underwear.

9. You expect men to actually cut, comb and style their hair (using hair products) - and to wear decent clothes. Jeans and a t-shirt are no longer socially acceptable.

10. You think 30 quid for a haircut is quite reasonable.

11. You finish every sentence with "Cheers" or "Innit", and start every conversation with 'Hiya'.

12. You start thinking English cuisine isn't all that bad after all - it's hard to beat a full English breakfast or pie and chips.

13. You are on to your sixth umbrella and your second overcoat.

14. You buy a disposable mini BBQ from Argos or Tesco's just in case there's a nice Summer evening to cook outside.

15. You realize your sunscreen was bought 2 years ago and it’s still half full.

16. A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn't even enter your head.

17. You actually say "it's all gone a bit pear shaped".

18. Wearing a suit in a pub is relatively normal attire.

19. You have given up explaining why you are half an hour late to work as no-one notices or even cares as it's usually traffic. In fact - you may even join the one hour gossip session around the water dispenser before turning on your computer.

20. For many employees, coming to work with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed expected at least once a week.

21. When driving your car you will be looking for people randomly stepping out onto the road in an attempt to cross in busy traffic.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA - very funny.

You wouldn't be making fun of my home team, would you??

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LOL I'm glad it's made you all smile. :)

I find it fascinating to discover the subtle but widely accepted cultural 'quirks' that you don't necessarily notice until you've lived in the particular country for a while.

I might see if I can find one on Denmark, where I grew up. :)

No clue about the Danes but here is one about Swedes:

You know you’ve been in Sweden too long, when...

  • It's acceptable to eat lunch at 11.00.
  • You think Leif 'Loket' Olsson is entertaining.
  • You rummage through your plastic bag collection to see which ones you should keep to take to the store and which can be sacrificed to garbage.
  • You associate pea soup with Thursday.
  • The first thing you do on entering a bank/post office/pharmacy etc. is look for the queue number machine.
  • You accept that you will have to queue to take a queue number.
  • A sharp intake of breath has become part of your vocabulary, as has the sound 'ahh'.
  • You associate Friday afternoon with a trip to system bolaget.
  • You think nothing of paying $50 for a bottle of 'cheap' spirits at system bolaget.
  • Silence is fun.
  • Your native language has seriously deteriorated; you begin to "eat medicine" and "hire videos".
  • Your front door step is beginning to resemble a shoe shop.
  • When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:

    a. he is drunk;

    b. he is insane;

    c. he is American;

    d. he is all of the above.

  • You stay home on Saturday night to watch Bingolotto.
  • It seems sensible that the age limit at Stockholm night clubs is 23 or 25.
  • The reason you take the ferry to Finland is:

    a. duty free vodka

    b. duty free beer

    c. to party

  • The only reason for getting of the boat in Helsinki is to eat pizza.
  • It no longer seems excessive to spend $200 on alcohol in a single night.
  • The fact that all of the "v's" and the "w's" are together in the phone directory seems right.
  • You care who wins 'Expedition: Robinson'.
  • Your old habit of being "fashionably late" is no longer acceptable. You are always on time.
  • You no longer see any problem wearing white socks with loafers.
  • You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed."
  • You are no longer scared of volvos and volvo drivers.
  • You have your own innebandy club.
  • You enjoy the taste of surströmming.
  • You find yourself debating the politics of Carl Bildt.
  • You use mmmm as a conversation filler.
  • An outside temperature of 9 degrees Celsius is mild.
  • When someone asks for "three cheers", you say "hoorah, hoorah, hoorah, hoorah".
  • You wear sandals with socks.
  • You eat jam with savoury dishes.
  • You have only two facial expressions, smiling or blank.
  • You think riding a racing bike in the snow is a perfectly sensible thing to do.
  • You think it's more fun to stay at home and drink then go out.
  • You wear warm clothing when it's 25 degrees plus in April - because it's April.
  • You wear shorts and t-shirt when it's barely 10 degrees in July - because it's July.
  • You get extremely annoyed when the bus is two minutes late.
  • You think women are more than equal than men and deserve to have better positions in the work place.
  • Your wife watches TV while you look after the kids.
  • You become a punctuality freak and dump your friends for being late more than once.
  • You spend the week's entertainment budget on a pack of cigarettes and a drink in Gamla Stan.
  • When a stranger asks you a question in the streets, you think it's normal to just keep walking, saying nothing.
  • You've been engaged for four years and don't have any plans to get married.
  • Americans start to look entertaining, witty and fun, and you just want to go to the U.S.A., travelling across country on a greyhound, because it's "romantic."
  • You and your friends know exactly the same information, and have the same attitudes and beliefs in the value of Social Democracy.
  • You lose any artistic talent whatsoever.
  • You think that if you smoke a joint you will wind up in an insane asylum. [or become a habitual criminal]
  • You seriously contemplate getting into S & M.
  • You wear a dress or skirt over your trousers and combine them with training shoes. [this is especially problematic if you're male]
  • You jot down 'fisk fingrar' on your shopping list.
  • You no longer look for Vegemite on supermarket shelves, even if it's your first time in that particular store.
  • You think black rimmed glasses are cool.
  • Your wardrobe now consists of 20 different shades of black and grey.
  • You get excited watching a bunch of lame 'celebrities' on a fortress island playing games that are about as intelligent as mud-wrestling.
  • You look forward to the next program about practical jokes done on lame celebrities/has-beens by other lame celebrities who don't really deserve air time.
  • It doesn't feel like lunch unless it's a hot, full course meal drenched in gravy.
  • You eat unlimited amounts of sausage products without worrying about your nitrate intake.
  • You think that an unripe wedge of tomato on a limp leaf of iceberg lettuce can be called a salad.
  • You don't question the concept of 'telephone time'.
  • It seems reasonable that no business can be conducted on Friday afternoons. [or the entire month of July]
  • You assume that anyone who apologises after bumping into you is a tourist.
  • You think it is normal that a huge restaurant has a smoking section which consists of three tables near the door.
  • You reach for your pocket 20 times a day as mobile phones ring all around you.
  • You actually care if your mobile phone meets the fashion standard - and so do your new Swedish friends!
  • It seems reasonable that even those asking you for money at T-centralen reach for their pocket as the melodic music of the Swedish mobile phone resounds.
  • You get into a Mercedes taxi cab and think nothing of it.
  • Paying $5 for a cup of coffee seems reasonable.
  • You understand that when a colleague asks you out for "a drink," it will probably be a long night with a severe hangover the next day.
  • You start to think that having a sauna in the nude with a bunch of strangers is a necessary part of daily life ... and a necessary part of business.
  • You believe that when you finally win your Nobel Prize, it is best to be modest and say "Oh really, it was nothing!"
  • You get offended if, at a dinner party, someone fails to look you in the eyes after raising their glass for a toast.
  • Seeing a young woman with lit candles stuck to her head no longer disturbs you.
  • You become extremely skilled at assembling pre-packaged furniture kits.
  • "Candles" are a permanent fixture on your weekly shopping list.
  • You get to the movies early so that you can watch the commercials.
  • Most of your friends have the same names and you must use both names to distinguish between them.
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Have you ever gone to a group that has something to do with mormons and you don't understand half of it cause you've never lived in Utah? Then this is the "you know you're a ..." group for you.

You know you're an Eastern Mormon if:

You've ever gotten into a "yes, they do" "no they don't" fight about polygamy in school

You've sung about the pioneers and NOT referred to your own ancestors

You can actually talk to the person in your family who originally converted to the church

RULDS2 isn't just an acronum; it's a question

Upon finding out you're Mormon, a schoolmate goes wide-eyed and says one of the following:

"Cool! How many wives/husbands do you have?"

"Don't you ride around on bicycles and knock on people's doors?"

"Aren't you guys, like, not allowed to kiss?"

"Do you celebrate birthdays?"

You can say the magic words to scare off any Jehovah's Witness: "I'm Mormon"

Your entire stake youth group got together to watch "The Other Side of Heaven" when it was actually in theatres for a couple of days

You have never said "Oh my heck" because you know what it should be and that's just ridiculous

You compete on who gets/gives the most phone numbers at AWE

You drive over an hour to get to your nearest singles' ward

Your stake center is in a different state

Aside from siblings, you were the only Mormon in the school for most of your life

The idea of getting married before you were finished with college and settled in your career was ludicrus

A "Temple Trip" was comprised of missing a day of school to drive 8 hours on a bus with half your stake youth to do a 2 am Baptism session and then overnight at a hotel to turn around and drive back the next morning

Mutual was the only time you saw other Mormon youth during the week

You went to Girls' Camp/Youth Conference at a different non-church owned camp every year

You have never used the excuse "I can't...I'm Mormon" cause you know there are such better reasons for not doing stupid things, like, I don't know CAUSE THEY"RE STUPID and religion has nothing to do with your decision not to do them

You got teased for wearing a once peice swim suit to your high school swim class

You were ever stranded at Early Morning Seminary because they cancelled school after you were already at seminary.

you are considered a flamming liberal in utah (Thank you Mariel from DC!!!)

you’ve ever dated a nanny from Utah. (Thank you Eric H. from Utah)

You've been asked "don't you have to endure two years of servitude first?" (Thank you David from BYU)

when there are a grand total of 2 guys/girls in the state who are eligible to date because they are

a) LDS

b)older than 16

c)relatively cute

d)not the stake president's son/daughter... (thanks Jolysa from BYU)

seminary isn't done by grade, instead it is done by area. (Thank You Emilee from Pomperaug HS)

a person asks, "where are you going to college?"

you say, "BYU."

They say, "What's that?"

you say, "It's in utah."

They nod. "What's that?" (Thanks to Tamarra from Newtown HS)

people confuse the name of your church for a hallucinogenic drug. (Thank you Cris from BU)

You've never had jello with strange objects in it at a pot luck. (thank you Marlene from Chesire HS)

you went to (or are attending) the "real" seminary classes at 6 am. (Thank You Stephanie M.)

if you have any other good ones....send them to me, if we like them we'll add them to the list!

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

I found this and thought I'd share it with you all. It's quite funny and done with tongue in cheek as not all Brits are like this of course... :D If you need any 'translating' then just let me know :)

You know you've been in the UK for a long time when...

1. You don't even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the day is like. You know it is overcast.

2. You realize it is a general belief that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are all good nights for drinking. Sunday day is also entirely reasonable.

3. You can't remember what 'customer service' means.

4. You start to accept queuing as a way of life.

5. More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive.

6. You always call soccer 'football' ...and you have a team...and it's not Manchester United.

7. You don't think twice about buying a packaged sandwich.

8. A sunny lunchtime means avoiding the park where any patch of grass is occupied by other ‘ lunch-breakers’ who have stripped off practically down to their underwear.

9. You expect men to actually cut, comb and style their hair (using hair products) - and to wear decent clothes. Jeans and a t-shirt are no longer socially acceptable.

10. You think 30 quid for a haircut is quite reasonable.

11. You finish every sentence with "Cheers" or "Innit", and start every conversation with 'Hiya'.

12. You start thinking English cuisine isn't all that bad after all - it's hard to beat a full English breakfast or pie and chips.

13. You are on to your sixth umbrella and your second overcoat.

14. You buy a disposable mini BBQ from Argos or Tesco's just in case there's a nice Summer evening to cook outside.

15. You realize your sunscreen was bought 2 years ago and it’s still half full.

16. A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn't even enter your head.

17. You actually say "it's all gone a bit pear shaped".

18. Wearing a suit in a pub is relatively normal attire.

19. You have given up explaining why you are half an hour late to work as no-one notices or even cares as it's usually traffic. In fact - you may even join the one hour gossip session around the water dispenser before turning on your computer.

20. For many employees, coming to work with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed expected at least once a week.

21. When driving your car you will be looking for people randomly stepping out onto the road in an attempt to cross in busy traffic.

lol what part of the uk are you from! I like our national dish of curry especialy balti, or even better donnor kebabs with chili sauce yummy! :lol::lol:
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I found this and thought I'd share it with you all. It's quite funny and done with tongue in cheek as not all Brits are like this of course... :D If you need any 'translating' then just let me know :)

You know you've been in the UK for a long time when...

1. You don't even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the day is like. You know it is overcast.

2. You realize it is a general belief that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are all good nights for drinking. Sunday day is also entirely reasonable.

3. You can't remember what 'customer service' means.

4. You start to accept queuing as a way of life.

5. More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive.

6. You always call soccer 'football' ...and you have a team...and it's not Manchester United.

7. You don't think twice about buying a packaged sandwich.

8. A sunny lunchtime means avoiding the park where any patch of grass is occupied by other ‘ lunch-breakers’ who have stripped off practically down to their underwear.

9. You expect men to actually cut, comb and style their hair (using hair products) - and to wear decent clothes. Jeans and a t-shirt are no longer socially acceptable.

10. You think 30 quid for a haircut is quite reasonable.

11. You finish every sentence with "Cheers" or "Innit", and start every conversation with 'Hiya'.

12. You start thinking English cuisine isn't all that bad after all - it's hard to beat a full English breakfast or pie and chips.

13. You are on to your sixth umbrella and your second overcoat.

14. You buy a disposable mini BBQ from Argos or Tesco's just in case there's a nice Summer evening to cook outside.

15. You realize your sunscreen was bought 2 years ago and it’s still half full.

16. A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn't even enter your head.

17. You actually say "it's all gone a bit pear shaped".

18. Wearing a suit in a pub is relatively normal attire.

19. You have given up explaining why you are half an hour late to work as no-one notices or even cares as it's usually traffic. In fact - you may even join the one hour gossip session around the water dispenser before turning on your computer.

20. For many employees, coming to work with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed expected at least once a week.

21. When driving your car you will be looking for people randomly stepping out onto the road in an attempt to cross in busy traffic.

I need to get out of my cave more often......I just found these.....I served my mission in England these are awesome......I have to catch my breath after laughing too hard.....you can't beat fish and chips......:D
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LOL

Adie - yup I agree with you completely! I need my Indian take-away fix again soon :D I'm in Kent. You're further up north right?

Palerider - I love Fish and Chips. Well, I just enjoy food in general hahaha

Where did you serve your mission and when? :)

:D im from stoke on trent well its neighboring town newcatsle uner lyme well it all the potteries anyway :D (not to be confused by newcastle upon tyne nowere near my newcastle lol) yes i love my spicy food. The greatest thing about the uk, if not the only great thing is how multi cultural britain is its amasing :D! Though did you know the fastest growing buisness in spain is english fish and chip shops lol! Though back to indian food its amasing, around the corner from were i live a chinese buffe resturant, 3 kebab shops 1 chinese take away. Then a greek owned chip shop lol! Oh and the mcdonalds drive through lol! I notice one british desease though to much moaning from people lol.

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LOL

Adie - yup I agree with you completely! I need my Indian take-away fix again soon :D I'm in Kent. You're further up north right?

Palerider - I love Fish and Chips. Well, I just enjoy food in general hahaha

Where did you serve your mission and when? :)[/quo

Served in Leeds England from 79-81...back when dinosaurs were on the earth...

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  • 5 months later...

I found this and thought I'd share it with you all. It's quite funny and done with tongue in cheek as not all Brits are like this of course... :D If you need any 'translating' then just let me know :)

You know you've been in the UK for a long time when...

1. You don't even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the day is like. You know it is overcast.

2. You realize it is a general belief that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are all good nights for drinking. Sunday day is also entirely reasonable.

3. You can't remember what 'customer service' means.

4. You start to accept queuing as a way of life.

5. More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive.

6. You always call soccer 'football' ...and you have a team...and it's not Manchester United.

7. You don't think twice about buying a packaged sandwich.

8. A sunny lunchtime means avoiding the park where any patch of grass is occupied by other ‘ lunch-breakers’ who have stripped off practically down to their underwear.

9. You expect men to actually cut, comb and style their hair (using hair products) - and to wear decent clothes. Jeans and a t-shirt are no longer socially acceptable.

10. You think 30 quid for a haircut is quite reasonable.

11. You finish every sentence with "Cheers" or "Innit", and start every conversation with 'Hiya'.

12. You start thinking English cuisine isn't all that bad after all - it's hard to beat a full English breakfast or pie and chips.

13. You are on to your sixth umbrella and your second overcoat.

14. You buy a disposable mini BBQ from Argos or Tesco's just in case there's a nice Summer evening to cook outside.

15. You realize your sunscreen was bought 2 years ago and it’s still half full.

16. A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn't even enter your head.

17. You actually say "it's all gone a bit pear shaped".

18. Wearing a suit in a pub is relatively normal attire.

19. You have given up explaining why you are half an hour late to work as no-one notices or even cares as it's usually traffic. In fact - you may even join the one hour gossip session around the water dispenser before turning on your computer.

20. For many employees, coming to work with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed expected at least once a week.

21. When driving your car you will be looking for people randomly stepping out onto the road in an attempt to cross in busy traffic.

that made me laugh, even this septic knows that man u sucks :D
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