Bring Out the Best in Others

[MaidservantX]

"Successful people build good relationships. They're sensitive to the needs and feelings of others. They're considerate and respectful. They have a way of bringing out the best in other people." Hal Urban

Relationships are my greatest weakness. You know any or all of those personality categorization theories -- melancholy/ sanguine/etc, or blue/red/yellow/white, or, or? Well, I didn't get any bone in my body that causes me to relate naturally to other human beings. It's completely missing. As I was telling my mum last night, I see every body and everything through the lens of "me". I warned my employer that I always think in terms of the things that needed to get done and I was perfectly capable of forgetting I was dealing with people as I went along; I told him I wanted to accept correction from him on the matter if I crossed the line ever in that area.

I embarked some time ago, of course, on a journey of trying to learn better. To try to stop talking about myself, and instead ask others about themselves -- for one example. I have a long way to go, but I'm thankful for the gospel and for the example of my Savior so that I can have hope that I can be a better mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend.

What have you learned when it comes to defining life success as "good relationships"?

[Guest tomk]

To be blunt, relationships are all that matter to me.

Especially the one I have with Christ. For from that relationship flows all of my power for good.

My efforts these days are to strengthen my relationship with Christ, and to invite others to do the same. A bit more each day. As go those efforts, so goes my life, sweet or bitter.

[Misshalfway]

My old director at the MTC used to say that relationship was everything. It is so very true. Relationship with God, the savior, the church, families, associates, busniess......relationship is truly everything. Having said that I also struggle with my relationships. Not my most favorite part of my life. Not sure why. It is like when I was 16 and trying to learn to drive my dads bronco. Jerking thru intersections as I tried to master the clutch. I often go into relationships or try to establish new ones and wonder why it doesn't go better. I feel to quote Will Smith in the movie "Hitch". He says, "I saw that going differently in my mind." That is how I feel sometimes.

[prisonchaplain]

IMHO the OP severely underestimates her relational skills. She's one of the members that makes me feel most welcome here, and deserves kudos for her diligent labor here.

[MaidservantX]

IMHO the OP severely underestimates her relational skills. She's one of the members that makes me feel most welcome here, and deserves kudos for her diligent labor here.

You are kind. Truly, thank you. (And, pfft, you and Mag are super sweet to get along with, I learn from the two of you.) (But it's all learned . . . ! Which should give everyone hope! Ha ha.)

[MorningStar]

I never would've guessed that about you! Thanks for sharing. I find it hard to relate to people when they don't have much of a sense of humor and that's something I try to overcome.

[Hemidakota]

"Be a Daily Influencer" [Kerry Patterson]

[ztodd]

I am very burned by the fear of man. I fear getting too much attention. I'm trying to work harder to break out of my shell. :)

[utcowboy]

I have a really hard time dealing with people I work with day in and day out. Though I have gotten better over the last little while. (At least thats what they tell me to my face :) )

[havejoy]

I've been trying to look at others as God sees them. Now, when someone cuts me off in traffic I say to myself, "I hope my brother slows down and doesn't have an accident today" or something along those lines. It helps me to not take things too personally.

[john doe]

I've been trying to look at others as God sees them. Now, when someone cuts me off in traffic I say to myself, "I hope my brother slows down and doesn't have an accident today" or something along those lines. It helps me to not take things too personally.

Hmmmm. When that happens to me I say to myself, "I better get in front of that guy so he'll slow down and be safe." Needless to say, with this being Utah, that move earns me lots of people giving me the 'you're #1' signal through their windshield. Odd, though, they seem to always use the wrong finger here. Maybe it's just a Utah cultural thing.

[skalenfehl]

Miss X, (I want to call you Xhenli!!!!), I think the most important thing to understand is that you are a child of God. We all are. When you understand your importance to God and how much you matter to Him, you will better be able to understand your value, which is great.

D&C 18: 10

10 Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God;

I learned early on that this stems from self esteem. Remember the two great commandments? Consider the one: "Love others as you love yourself." I read a very good book when I was growing up that helped me to develop good interpersonal and communications skills, especially as a leader. I recommend reading the book. It's called "How to win friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. It sounds manipulative but is not intended to be used that way. When you develop a genuine love for others, you truly can reach out to them. Here's a good link to what its about. This is a great book for leaders and employers.

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

[Truegrits]

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

I read this book in my early 20's. It is worth reading and re-reading.

[Hemidakota]

Now that is sad - the usual middle index sign - seen in Utah.

In Cali, we have more than our share; "I can pass the test but have no real road skills." Adding foreigners to the road increase your chance being in a accident. Now driving a car with 500 fwHP, T-6 Turbo rebuilt motor, turbo brakes, racing suspension and expensive tires to handle high-speed corners, everyday suffer at the hands of one of those whom are listed that should not be on the street at all. I usually will have someone tries to either tail gate or cut me off. All you can do is drive defensive to avoid any bad situation. Then we have those with no brainier 10-chipmonk rated engines, who want to race you. All you can do is smile and wave at them.

[skalenfehl]

Now that is sad - the usual middle index sign - seen in Utah.

In Cali, we have more than our share; "I can pass the test but have no real road skills." Adding foreigners to the road increase your chance being in a accident. Now driving a car with 500 fwHP, T-6 Turbo rebuilt motor, turbo brakes, racing suspension and expensive tires to handle high-speed corners, everyday suffer at the hands of one of those whom are listed that should not be on the street at all. I usually will have someone tries to either tail gate or cut me off. All you can do is drive defensive to avoid any bad situation. Then we have those with no brainier 10-chipmonk rated engines, who want to race you. All you can do is smile and wave at them.

Are you sure you posted in the right thread?

[crytsprospect]

Skale read page one then you get it

[Hemidakota]

I forgot to quote the first page post....sorry. My rantings on driving to work.

[crytsprospect]

Hemi, I sometimes have to look back at a previous page to understand what your saying but its ok I figured it out

[skalenfehl]

Got it, lol. The one post that I happened to skip over.

[crytsprospect]

that can be a proofreaders nightmare, one they miss.... :]

[skalenfehl]

Yup, and I've done my fair share of proofreading.

[Hemidakota]

What is revealing today for me, is to avoid any negativism when I see a trial coming. I have to give those on Tom thread credit in dealing with Focusing on what is right. For the moment when it did start in the morning, loosing three bolts to the exhaust turbo downpipe, then the car is on empty [light is on] but my VISA card stop working this morning so I have to wait to get cash on the way home, my friend dental office was a total mess prior to opening - had to help him, I had to cancel my trip to CIT to watch my daughter due to absent councilor this Sunday trip, and then dealing with some anxious Saints.

No matter the circumstances, we need to be 'influencer' for others who are worse off than us.

[crytsprospect]

I'm not foolish enough to feel life is flowers and happiness but I try to give negativity as little time as possible... It brings me down

[MaidservantX]

Skal, you are so right! :) I read that book many, many, many years ago. I'm not perfect at these things, but this book is exactly what I try to model my behavior on.

Communication 101 - LDS Online

[WANDERER]

I've read the book too. I'd say bringing out what they value the most about themselves and is great about them.