StrawberryFields

You Are Welcome.

Are you even close to where you wanted to be, or as you dreamed you would be as a child? When I was a child I dreamed of being a mom or a teacher. I remember playing with my dolls and pushing them down the street in an awesome stroller that I got for Christmas one year. I remember listening to a primary record over and over again...music is very powerful. We had a great Playroom with hardwood floors that I kept very clean and that I would change out for a school class room when I would play school and teach my dolls and stuffed animals the abc's and how to count. As I got a little older, I dreamed of a house with a white picket fence. I dreamed of marrying in the temple and having three children. In the important years of High School I had made friends with some kids who were choosing a different path. It didn't take me too long before I remembered what my dreams were and I made some changes that would help me to obtain what I truly wanted. In a few months I will be 45 just about mid-life. As I reflect on my accomplishments I would say that I have come very close to what I dreamed of as a child. I am a mother of three children some of which I have helped very much in school. I did get to live in a house with a white picket fence. I did marry in the temple. I believe that childhood dreams are very powerful...What about you?

Did I say "stubbornness"? What I meant was STUBBORNNESS

Visiting Teaching Message: Rejoice in an Understanding of the Purpose of Life “Rejoice in an Understanding of the Purpose of Life,” Ensign, Aug. 2005, 61 Prayerfully select and read from this message the scriptures and teachings that meet the needs of the sisters you visit. Share your experiences and testimony. Invite those you teach to do the same. The Prophet Joseph Smith: “The great plan of salvation is a theme which ought to occupy our strict attention, and be regarded as one of heaven’s best gifts to mankind” (History of the Church, 2:23). What Is God’s Plan for His Children? Moses 1:39: “This is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” The First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: “In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshiped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize his or her divine destiny as an heir of eternal life” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102). Abraham 3:24–25 [Abr. 3:24–25]: “We will make an earth whereon these may dwell; and we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them.” Elder Bruce C. Hafen of the Seventy: “This earth is not our home. We are away at school, trying to master the lessons of ‘the great plan of happiness’ so we can return home. … Of necessity, the plan is full of thorns and tears—His and ours. But because He and we are so totally in this together, our being ‘at one’ with Him in overcoming all opposition will itself bring us ‘incomprehensible joy.’ Christ’s Atonement is at the very core of this plan” (“The Atonement: All for All,” Liahona and Ensign, May 2004, 98). Elder Henry B. Eyring of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: “The purpose of God’s creations and of His giving us life is to allow us to have the learning experience necessary for us to come back to Him, to live with Him in eternal life. That is only possible if we have our natures changed through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, true repentance, and making and keeping the covenants He offers” (“Education for Real Life,” Ensign, Oct. 2002, 16). How Can Rejoicing in God’s Plan Help Me through Trials? Elder Neal A. Maxwell (1926–2004) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: “Trying to comprehend the trials and meaning of this life without understanding Heavenly Father’s marvelously encompassing plan of salvation is like trying to understand a three-act play while seeing only the second act. Fortunately, our knowledge of the Savior, Jesus Christ, and His Atonement helps us to endure our trials and to see purpose in suffering and to trust God for what we cannot comprehend” (“Enduring Well,” Liahona, Apr. 1999, 10; Ensign, Apr. 1997, 7). Susan W. Tanner, Young Women general president: “The Atonement of Jesus Christ is the only way we make it through our trials. After all we can do, we have to rely on His strength. … When we humbly seek Him, He answers our prayers” (“How Will They Know Unless We Teach Them So?” [address delivered at Young Women open house, fall 2003]). Gospel topics: joy, mortality, plan of salvation, Restoration

Winnie, your last post really makes me think. Now that my mom is gone I seldom think about the times she hurt me and the same is true for my children. We think about her good qualities and the things she taught us. The last few years when my mom was alive I had done a lot of soul searching about why I was the way I was in certain areas of my life. I decided to de-toxify my life and get rid of many things that caused me to hurt inside. I decided to let go of things which I could not control. I decided to forgive. I learned that we can only good things according to the knowledge that we have. I believe that my mom did the best that she could based upon the knowledge that she had at the time. I believe that we are our own worst critics. I have no doubt that now my mom finally understands her devine worth. My only question is why it had to take her so long.... If we can't forgive others for their short comings then how can we expect to be forgiven?

Oh Maureen, I am so sorry about the passing of your brother in law he sounds like a wonderful man. I agree he was way too young to leave this earth. I think you described a wonderful service that was given and I too am impressed that his children were able to speak. My experience with death is how you described it. When I have lost someone I love it doesn't seem real at first. For me the first weeks were easier then the rest. I believe it has something to do with shock and I also feel that I was being cradled in the arms of a loving Heavenly Father. As time goes on grief has come to me in waves where I am very very sad and then I am okay for awhile. Grief is something you have to go through and you are not able to go around it. I know people who have refused to go through the grieving processes who bury all of the pain inside and sometimes this can make you sick. Milestones contagious? I don't think so. I think that there are just a lot of people who are on similar journeys. Here is a poem I like... by Henry Scott Holland 1847-1918 Canon of St Paul's Cathedral Death is nothing at all Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room. I am I and you are you, Whatever we were to each other, that we still are. Call me by my old familiar name, Speak to me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference in your tone, wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow, laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Pray smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without effort, without the trace of a shadow in it. Life means all that it ever meant, it is the same as it ever was. There is unbroken continuity, why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am waiting for you somewhere very near just around the corner. All is well

Yeah a Huh. It;s great to see you posting Setheus. Just know that you are cared for VERY MUCH!

Great advice Maureen! :) I wonder is Snow's affection will grow more for his father in law after he is gone. I feel very blessed that my husband and I love the other one's family. I have always been close with my mother in law even to the point of calling her my mother on my husbands¡Ç side. Best of Luck to you Snow with your eulogy. If you stumble for something nice to say just look at your wife and her mother and recall how they love him. I am sure that you will do a great job and make everyone proud. :)

Winnie, Reading your post I don't know which is worse. My mom was diagnosed with Lung Cancer on February and she was gone in March of the same year. We had no time to come to grips that she had a terminal illness. We had no time to make a few special memories. Each day was spent to that which we thought would make her well. We were in shock and just going through the motions. Today I live with many I should have's and that to is hard. My mom was only 63 when she died and I think about her everyday. I think about all of the times she has missed out on being here for a special occasion. I think that sometimes when someone has a terminal illness it isn't always the one sick who needs to do some learning...it can be for the benefit of someone close to them. I am sorry you are struggling with this; it is difficulty to watch our loved ones suffer.

Snow and Mrs Snow, I am sorry to hear of the passing of your father/father in law. It is not easy to lose someone you love.

From a friend... It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift. To gain that which is worth having, it may be necessary to lose everything else. Bernadette Devlin McAliskey

Thats exactly how things are and you're right i'm just going to choose to change the way I think about it and focus on the gospel more than the members of the gospel. Writer Chick you are wise beyond your years. May the Lord bless you in your faithfulness. :)

Huh? How could I know what? You must be the typical male and I must be the typical female because we think nothing alike. You said, "Writer Chick can't fix her situation by looking into herself." Immediately after I said, "Now how on earth could you possibly know that?" One needn't be male or female for that to make sense. ...and a single parent family is not the majority arrangement but even among LDS families, it is not particularly unusual. Writer Chicks situation is one where she feels like an outcast based on the fact the she lives with her single mother. It is a fact the single women are treated differently within the church and this is something she can not change by looking into herself. The only thing she can change is how she chooses to perceive the way she is treated.

Now how on earth could you possibly know that? Don't you think that if you were to talk to the Bishop of RS Pres or one of the majority of members of the ward that she blamed, that you would get an alternate point of view? I could be wrong but reason says otherwise. Let Writer-C speak for herself. Could I be correct or somewhat correct? Huh? How could I know what? You must be the typical male and I must be the typical female because we think nothing alike. I will try to explain what I said above… I know the church teaches family, family, family. WC does not have the typical family because her mom is now single...would you agree with that? She can't fix her situation into being the norm because she is the child in the family.

Ya, it's a shame that none of us are perfect and fall short of the mark. I don't blame the Church that humans are human. Snow there is a BIG difference here, you are an adult man and she is still in her teens. I don't blame the church for humans being human either. I just wished that everyone didn't feel the need to pretend to be so perfect. Perfection within the saints is not real and thus leaves others who don't see warts on every family to feel inadequate. Writer Chick your parents might be divorced which is something that most everyone could come to know. There are people with high callings in the church who have even more serious hidden problems that go on behind closed doors. You should not feel any different then any other young women in your ward. Once you get to really know people you will see that all families have some sort of difficulties in their lives.

Of course I have felt that way - a lot. I am not the most gregarious person in the world and I can feel out of place as much as anyone. When that happens, I look to myself to fix it and don't blame others that I don't fit in. . The church as a whole revolves so much of what the perfect family should be. Writer Chick can't fix her situation by looking into herself.

Prayers going up on behalf of our friend Setheus. Get well soon! :)

I will agree with your description above because many wards that I have been in are that way.Not knowing all that you know about the single women being assigned to the High Priests etc. Writer Chick and her family have been hurt. Snow please try to be a bit sensitive with her she is hurting because she feels discriminated against because her family doesn't fit into the "norm". I have seen what she describes and so have others who have replied to her post. I wonder Snow if you have ever felt like you didn't fit into the "norm" at one time or another. I feel that the LDS church has a long way to go in teaching acceptance of all of its members. It's really too bad when a church goes out of it's way to preach perfection but then falls short in accepting and embracing those who need the most help.

Maybe if everybody or most everybody else responds to ya'll in a certain way, maybe it's not them (the whole Church can't be jerks) so maybe it's something bout ya'll. My parents divorced when I was young and I thought most people (in the various wards we lived in) went out of their way to include our family and help compensate for our single parent home. My mother did report that when she first got divorced that some people treated her shabbily - that was in Utah in the mid 60's to be sure - but that was some, not all or even most. Yes, the whole ward can be oblivious to the needs of this family. Unfortunately people get tunnel vision and sometimes don't see how they are hurting others.

I am sorry this is happening to you Writer Chick it can't be easy on any of you. I wished that I could understand why this happens. I think it might have something to do with your mom being available and not wanting the priesthood holders to be tempted by her. Personally, I think that you are right when you talk about your family needing support from your ward and having home teachers etc. I have wondered why they don't send more couples to single parent families. If a blessing was needed they could always get another priesthood holder to assist your home teacher. If it were me, I would request an interview with the bishop and then ask him point blank what your family has done to be treated the way you have. He may not recognize they problem at all giving him the benefit of the doubt.

I am "S".Why would I be hurt? This is GREAT! Sethus this is EXACTLY what BOTH of you need and I am so happy that you have found each other. After all you both are single.

Jason, For what it is worth you are in my prayers... I hope that you find what you are looking for in this life. SF

Sunday at church they were talking about some software that could be downloaded to do genealogy work with. This kind of software allowed you to print family group sheets. Does anyone know where this software can be found?

I have noticed that you have not been around as much. You said it's one of the reasons why you haven't been around as much...what else is keeping you away?

I did it. Copy and paste and 30 pages later....LOL