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Everything posted by Bini

  1. Of course, our bodies are not the same. But men are held accountable just as much as women are, yes? Someone, please explain to me why the female body is sexualised and the male body is not.
  2. Sexually suggestive clothing to who? Women function just fine at the pool or beach with shirtless men, but heaven forbid, a woman wears a bikini or tankini around men in the same circumstances. It is a harmful concept.
  3. What makes walking around in underwear indecent? What makes walking around in swimmers indecent? What makes walking around in a sleeveless top or form-fitting skirt indecent?
  4. You are right, my correction, we don't know if the guest is male. Regardless of gender but especially opposite gender, this should not even be an issue.
  5. I agree you will get a million different answers but the dialogue should always be this: doesn't matter if I wear a bikini because I like showing my body off or if I wear a head-to-toe tunic because I don't want to show any skin -- whatever I'm wearing and for whatever reason -- I am not responsible for how men view me. I am not responsible for any thoughts they may or may not have. If "modesty" has nothing to do with this line of thinking, what is it then? How I choose to carry myself and how I choose to dress, is my business, it isn't the concern of my cable guy or my landlord or my male colleagues or even my boyfriend. The focus should be on learning how to regulate thoughts and feelings -- not tell people how to carry themselves and what to wear because someone might get a dirty thought. That is your problem. Don't project that onto me.
  6. What is the reason for her having to change clothes because a guest, specifically a man, is coming over? What is she supposed to be shielding him from?
  7. When a husband tells a wife she should change clothes because his male friend is coming over, that is indeed, a gender bias and sexual thing.
  8. Alright... But I'm not understanding how his wife is "glorifying" herself... Doesn't make any sense. That's a crazy assessment to me.
  9. This snippet just reinforces the problematic issue of (primarily) women being responsible for men's thoughts and actions. "Do not draw undue attention to ourselves"? Really?
  10. What is modesty? What is the intent for that? To stop "unclean" thoughts that might lead to "sinful" actions. These are things that are the responsibility of, in this case, the friend who is coming over to visit. (Although it applies to everyone. We are responsible for our own thoughts and actions.) It is not everyone else's responsibility to stop me from having wandering eyes, thoughts, or committing certain actions. That is on me.
  11. Women are not responsible for the thoughts men have about their bodies. Their thoughts are their responsibility. Our bodies are not objects and therefore should not be treated as distractions. I disagree that OP's wife should have to change clothes for the sake of a man entering her domain -- her home -- her safe environment. Maybe OP should suggest to his friend that he either closes his eyes or doesn't sexualise his wife while he visits.
  12. I disagree. If I am comfortable with my body and feel comfortable in what I am wearing inside my own home, I am not going to change that for the sake of a guest, they can accept me as I am or we can schedule a meet up at another time. I think there is quite a difference between lounging around in your underwear or garments versus being shirtless or wearing a sleeveless tank top and shorts.
  13. I like Jane’s suggestions. Keep it simple, give a couple food choices, have him help prep or cook it, and he eats it or he won’t. I would keep in mind too that it must be hard on a child to be separated from his mum, and could be dealing with some distress manifesting through eating habits.
  14. I think sometimes we forget that children that age lack long attention spans, and as a society, we demand they function on our schedule whatever it be. I think this is wrong regardless if I Am Your Mother. Children, especially 5 and under range, are still learning how to observe what’s around them — register it — and regulate things like restlessness etc, etc. I think understanding that their brains are still developing is key, and having patience with them, and gradually introduce them to situations and expectations you’re needing of them.
  15. Is there a “culture” of this? Yes, in my experience, and I’ve lived inside Utah and outside Utah, even overseas. I have seen this issue of parents feeling guilt and shaming kids who seemingly go astray within the church all over the place. My best advice, tell him to check himself, and remind him that your children are adults and capable of making their own life decisions. He isn’t going to love or even like everything they choose to do.
  16. Most foods like this I eat by a random grab, but with M&M’s, I like to put 6 in the palm of my hand and in rainbow order: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, brown. Then I start at one end, doesn’t matter which, and eat one by one. I’ll keep doing this until the rainbow gets smaller. Idk just more fun, I guess.
  17. I haven't been around but that Vort pic hasn't been used in years... has it? I just remember it threw everyone off.
  18. Wow... speechless. @Godless I appreciate your posts.
  19. I love spicy and I love heat, but not as much as someone I know, he eats the world's hottest chili peppers like it's nothing...
  20. 16-year old and 14-year old? Your boys aren't preteens anymore! 😮
  21. I understand this. What I should add to my first comment is that most people cannot engage in intimacy without it emotionally/mentally messing with their head, and so in that context, I would strongly recommend that in order to avoid all of that, one would be wise not to reside in the same household with an ex-partner.
  22. I'd be less concerned about sex and more concerned about emotional and mental stress from this arrangement.
  23. I can relate to this, and the posts you made after this, although I did not read every single response. I do strongly feel there is a lot of misogyny and white privilege within the church, much of which isn't even realised, and when brought to attention, is brushed off and suddenly you're the one overreacting. I'm sorry you experienced this.