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Found 12 results

  1. Last night my husband and I were up talking late. He suddenly confessed to me that he has been hurting my 5 month old daughter. He said it has happened maybe 10 or 11 times over the past five months, and that it was things like pinching, smacking/slapping, etc. Nothing sexual or shaking or anything. He said the last time he did it was a 3 or so weeks ago. He told me he was telling me now because he couldn’t live with himself anymore and was dying because of the guilt and shame. He told me he mostly does it to get a rise out of her because he likes to bring her down from her crying. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO THINK OR DO. We have been married for almost two years (in the temple). He has never once been violent towards me in any way shape or form. I just feel sick over this. I don’t know what to do, don’t know who to talk to about it. The thought that he could have even laid a finger on my daughter makes me so upset I feel like the room is spinning. I told him he needed to go see the bishop and that we needed to look into counseling for him. I told him I love him and want to forgive but I don’t even know where to start. And I’m not even the victim! I love him so much, but I don’t know how to get over this. Please help me. Do I work towards forgiveness? Am I crazy to try and save this? Or do I end everything? I’m so scared and feel so alone. I don’t know the next step.
  2. Hi, my wife and I have been married for 5 years. We always thought that we would just know when the time is right to have our first chid, we thought we may get some kind of sign or we would both just have a feeling that it is right. My wife thinks that she wants to have a baby but we have prayed about it and neither of us have received a definitive answer that it is the right time to try and have a baby. Practically, speaking we are more than ready to have a child but I know it is a huge responsibility so I want confirmation from the Holy Spirit that it is a good thing. My wife she is more of the opinion that it can't be against god's will for us to have a baby so we should just have one. Which opinion do you think is right ? How did you know when was a good time to have your first child ?
  3. Hi, this isn't Lee I am his wife Ke'ala I couldn't be bothered making an account so thought I would use Lee's. Our 8 year old nephew has been living with us whilst his mom is undergoing treatment, when he first came to live with us he refused to eat anything I cooked but we didn't think he would be staying with us too long and his mom was unwell so we wanted to make him happy. We let him eat whatever he wanted, which was never healthy food it was always pizza, burgers and sweets. Now he has been with us for 4 months and it looks like he will be with us for a while longer so I think we need to get him eating good food. His mom told me he ate whatever she cooked for him all the time, she gave me a recipe for a shepherds pie and vegetables that he likes, I cooked it for him but he said he didn't like it and I gave in and cooked him a pizza. My husband and I don't have any children so we haven't had to deal with a child refusing to eat healthy or at least diverse food. Do you have any advice to convince my nephew to eat different food ?
  4. My wife and I have been caring for our 8 year old nephew, whilst his mom is undergoing treatment for breast cancer. My brother is our nephew's father but he passed away 8 years ago, although we attend the same church as my sister in law and nephew so we are quite close. He has been excluded for hurting his classmates and before that we had to go to a meeting because he spat at his teacher and was walking out of class and running around the school. He also misbehaves at our house. We tried speaking with him but we didn't want to be too harsh because we understand he is having a hard time. Surprisingly, he is well behaved at church and enjoys going. We are young (25) and we don't have kids of our own so we are struggling to care for him. We have never had problems with raising children before, have you ever asked for parenting advice from someone at church? If so how? We are quite private people so this is unnatural for us. Also, do you think we should tell his mom?
  5. The Folk Prophet

    Gentle Parenting

    When I first heard of this I thought, "This is what's wrong with the world today!" then I started reading up on it and I found that I actually liked a lot of ideas behind it. I do have concerns though. It feels like some really good truths blended with some half truths and even, perhaps, outright lies. Mind you, my reading up on it thus-far has been pretty scant...so my opinions might change. I know --- KNOW --- that there is bias in my on the matter that I have to look past, in that I tend to automatically feel like any new-fangled ideas are hippy claptrap. So...I thought it would be worth discussing. https://sarahockwell-smith.com/2015/08/20/what-is-gentle-parenting-and-why-should-you-try-it/ http://theconversation.com/gentle-parenting-explainer-no-rewards-no-punishments-no-misbehaving-kids-31678 http://www.jennifermcgrail.com/gentle-parenting-faq/ And feel free to Google (or Bing...don't want to be biased) and research. Thoughts?
  6. Backroads

    Concerning child discipline

    Husband and I are not particularly interesting regarding disciplining our kids. The 4-year-old is on the path of learning the rules and norms of society, the 20-month-old gets told "no-no!" from time to time. While we're not opposed to spanking, most of our discipline revolves around very specific modeling and consequences. My mother hates it. We can't discipline our kids in front of her without getting an earful later about how mean we are to her precious granddaughter. This is not a frequent thing as 4-year-old is a pretty good kid, but she is can be a stinker. We're just trying to get her going right. She doesn't follow instructions in boldness, she gets a consequence such as being removed from said activity for a short time. It all seems to be what the other parents are doing, what the occasional parenting article says, what the old hippy daycare lady preached and what the more recent Mexican-Catholic retired teacher daycare lady supports (though both of those ladies are anti-spanking, which is fine.) But should this ever happen in front of my mother, if not a direct speech, I get emails and texts about how mean we are, how she is only a little girl, how we need to figure out something else because she doesn't like seeing her granddaughter sad. This has only happened a handful of times over the course of my daughter's lifespan, but my mother's complaints really get to me to the point I dread my daughter acting up in front of my mother to the point I would have to drag her aside and hear how I'm a bad mom. See, my mother is very bold and says what's on her mind. But what also gets to me is growing up, my mom often complained about the nasty undisciplined brats around whose parents were all too sweet to them and never laid down the law. Then she becomes a grandmother and doesn't want any discipline near them. Specifically, we returned from a family trip where we went to the lake. Daughter went out in the lake past where Husband and I felt was safe. When she did not listen when we told her to return, she had to sit on the beach for a few minutes whilst we explained water safety and listening to her parents. My mom had blew up. Doesn't matter Husband had a sibling drown years ago, we have no right to make Daughter leave the water. I have a couple of questions: Are we wrong in our discipline approach? Where do we draw the line with my mother while still maintaining familial goodwill?
  7. tybrad

    Advice for a NEW PARENT?

    Dear lds.net members, My wife is due with our first child this month (February 2015) and we are super excited! We are having a baby girl! I thought I would ask all those who have experience if they could share some advice on this thread. Please share your thoughts about habits, traditions, best practices, stories, or special activities you have done that have helped you with your first child. Sincerely, -Tybrad
  8. Captain Awesome

    Abortion and human rights.

    I have two questions about abortion. Are the folks who say "It's my body, it's my choice" aware that they are violently taking that choice away from another human life (the baby)? If your body is your choice, why would you just go and kill the baby and take that choice away from him or her? Does the LDS church have an official position on abortion?
  9. Apricotpopcorn

    Help! Newbie mum....

    I'm a first time mum and I'm not sure what to do so I thought I might gain some insight from you wise parents out there! My little guy, Manti, is 4 months old. He's always napped in my arms and wouldn't nap anywhere else. Recently we've trained him to sleep in his cot for naps, which has been very successful. But now he won't sleep anywhere else but the cot, not even in the pram. This year we have church at 11am... which is his prime nap time. I'm trying to figure out how to get him to nap during church without going back to our old ways of holding him?? Your suggestions would be so appreciated!!
  10. So basically when I was about.. oh.. 3-4 months pregnant, married about a year and half my husband talked to me about how he had never really gotten an answer about the church being true, which lead to doubts about the existence of God, he doesn't disbelieve, but he also doesn't "know" As a hormonal, pregnant woman, this hit me pretty hard. He has been raised in the Church, although his parents were only members shortly before his birth. He served a full time mission, we got married in the temple. It was all really overwhelming. I love my husband so much, and the only thing that would cause me to leave him is if he broke his covenants to me, which he hasn't. Leaving has never been, nor will be the option unless that happens. He wants to raise our children in the Church, which is a good thing, and he is still looking for answers and reading support groups for men struggling with the same issue. I'm very thankful he is at least still putting effort into it and not just giving up. I am just looking for support from other people who have dealt with this situation. What have you done to help your spouse? What things did not work or caused controversy? How have you been able to deal with the situation and feel OK with everything happening? Please share your story if you are alright with it and help me figure out this difficult road.
  11. Gargantuan

    "Bishop, Help!"

    (A True Story) During a sacrament meeting, a little boy made a big disturbance. After several minutes of trying to quiet this noisy 3 year-old, the mother desperately handed him to the father, who was seated on the aisle close to the front of the chapel. By this time the noise distracted the speaker and audience, and everyone was very conscious of the parents' plight. The father's patience was much shorter than the mother's. In a few moments he put the little boy over his shoulder, stood up, and started for the back door. Looking back over his father's shoulder and sensing his determined steps, the little boy became quiet and apprehensive. Just as the father approached the rear door of the chapel, the little fellow reached his arms out toward the stand and shouted, "Bishop, help!" This was originally spoken by Elder Dallin H. Oaks, Quorum of Twelve Apostles during General Conference on 4/5/97
  12. dwdkem

    newly widowed needs nanny

    I am new to the site and wasn't sure if this was the appropriate way to go about this, but I will ask anyway. I am newly widowed (wife passed away a year ago) I have three kids 7 and under and starting med school. I am looking for a part time Nanny and wanted her to be LDS, but don't really know how to go about posting for something like that. If there is anyone who knows the best way to do that or where to look I would really appreciate your feedback. Thanks.