ferretrunner

Sleepless, When we do something that loses the trust of a loved one, it can be a long journey to restore it. Be humble, pray, and accept the consequences of your actions in the past. Demonstrate by your actions now and in the future that you understand the severity of the situation and tend to grow from it and become a better man. Even if the marriage ends, you'll come out with stronger faith and less likely to repeat the same sin. Hopefully, your wife wants to save the relationship just as you do and will work with a counselor and/or the bishop to build a stronger relationship and allow trust to slowly return. You fell down a mountain. It will take time and effort to climb back up to the top.

It must be hard to see a child move away. Stay as involved in her life as you can; phone calls, email, letter, care packages, etc. Be creative. It won't make the hurt go away but it will help ease some of it. Which service?

Or he's not bipolar at all. He's using magic mushrooms and pot. The rapid mood shifts speaks more to drug usage or one of the personality disorders than it does bipolar. I agree. Have police standby and involve your landlord. You may also want to check into the rental laws in your state. If he paid you rent, and has been living there for awhile, you may have to go through legal channels to get him out, even if he's not on the lease. Every state has different rental laws.

Jejo, You make a good point. Many women struggle with self-identity and self esteem. Society often places a lot of stress on human sexuality and appearance. Super slim models, hunky men. Both are just looking at the outside of an individual. With women, for many generations, our identity has focused on who we marry and how many kids we have. Now, times have changed and women (and men also) are trying to figure out what it means. The increased sex drive of men is both biological and sociological. There is a biologically stronger drive to have multiple partners. The more partners, the greater spread of the gentic material, the greater odds of survival of the gene pool. That's biology. Sociologically, men are rewarded by other men for being sexually active. It's also protrayed as a "manly" quality in the media. For women, we tend to want a singular partner. We nuture and raise the child. Biologically, we were vunlerable when carrying children. Once born, the children and mothers were vulnerable and needed help. Men protected and hunted. Emotionally, we also tend to bond with our sexual partner. Sociologically, in the US today- women face an interesting double message. It's glamourous to be sexy. But, if we engage in the same sexual behaviors as men, women are not respected. They're not "studs" they're "sluts." Women are espected to both protect our sexuality and not give in and yet, be available and willing partners. It's an intresting dichotomy. I like the teaching of the Church that sexuality is sacred, for both genders. It places accountability on both and also the sacredness belongs to both. Self identity in women... There's a song by a Scottish folk group called The Corries. The song is about women over three generations and war. I do not recall all the words, because as a Soldier and a woman, it makes me tear up every time I listen to it. I remember the refrain and bits of verse; "The first time it was fathers, the last time it was sons. In between, your husbands marched away with drums and guns. But you never paused to question, you just went on with your lives for all they taught you who to be was mothers, daughters, wives." The verses speak of a young girl, barely remembering her father going off to war. She sees her mother reading the newspaper, with the lists of the killed in action. Eventually, a stranger from the fight appears on her doorstep. The implication is her father died. The girl grows to a woman and marries. Her husband is called off to war. She goes to work, as the women in her generation did, to fill in for all the draftees. But, when the men return, the women "never trod on toes" and go back to being houswives. The woman's husband survive and they have a family. "Your little girls grow to women and your little boys to men. You wished you were dreaming when the call up came again. But you hid your sadness as your bravely waved goodbye but the photos on the matlepiece always made you cry." The final verse speaks of the woman in her old age. The sons and daughters are grown, with their own families. But, the daughters see more to their lives than being "Mothers, daughters, wives." The implication is the women are now working and becoming more indepedent and finding their own identities instead of the societal expected ones. Or maybe in addition to the expectations. I think that's where women are struggling. Who are we in addition to mothers, daughters, wives. Yes, we need to embrace that part of our identities, too. But, we are more. I will never be a mother. Yet, I am still a woman. Sorry for the long post.

One issue that is present within Scripture is the role of women in the time it was written. In other words, the Bible especially is written from a patriarchical point of view. Perhaps mention of the Mother was rare due to the societal issues at that time. Women weren't valued very much beyond chattel. Would a Goddess be any more acceptable? Unless you're talking about some of the ancient pagan Mother religions.... There's a challenging term. We don't call Heavenly Mother a Goddess. Why not?

There are two versions of the story. In one version, men and women are created at the same time. In the other version, males are created first then women. "001:026 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. 001:027 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. 001:028 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth."

Maybe they can't have children. I think we're assuming that God wants everyone to have children. I'm not so certain that is the case. There are some people who responsibly, for good reasons, choose not to have children or to limit the number of children they have. Perhaps there are different callings for different people. So, there will be people following God's will who don't have children. God will ensure that the spirits in premortal existence get their chance to be born, whether or not people use birth control.

The Book of Genesis when teaching about the creation indirectly mentions the Mother. Humans were created in the image of the Divine... male and female. How could a male only God create a female in His image? Rather indirect but it can be viewed as a strong implication there is a Mother involved somewhere. I always thought that Her role in the creation and in spirituality is something that we still haven't received full revelation of yet. I don't think humanity was ready once the patriarchies became so firmly established. I think once humans are ready to hear more about Her and respect femaleness more, we will hear more about Her. I'm not trying to dog men, just pointing out that our world hasn't been very female friendly for thousands of years.

I am a woman. I am more righteous than some men and very much so less righteous than others. Righteousness is dependant upon the individual's choices, actions, knowledge, and decisions. Perhaps women's pyshcological aspects make it "easier" for us to be more spiritual. But, if we don't do the work to unwrap the gift, it is wasted. We don't progress. I think there is some truth to our pyshcological makeups being different. THat doesn't equate superiority. It's hard in this society to have roles that are different- men holding the priesthood, women doing other work- without someone trying to place weight on them. Is priesthood more important than motherhood? Without priesthood, there's really no church. But without motherhood... the Church will die in a generation. No mothers, no children. The only new members will be the converts. So, which is more important? I enjoy the good natured bantering between the sexes. It can be amusing and is not meant to be taken seriously or to attack either gender. Where it hurts is when it is meant to be disrepectful and demeaning. I don't like most jokes about women or men for that reason. Teasing is one thing. Insulting is something else.

I'm sorry men are going through that. I know as a single woman over 30, I struggle with feeling out of place in Church. In a Church that places such a high emphasis on marriage, being a single is unusual. People being people, unfortunately, their lips flap. I hope that is the experience in one ward and not the LDS general population. We just had a man get his priesthood two weeks ago. He's a convert in his 40s and, if rumor has it, single. lol. My Sisters are already playing matchmaker.

I managed to pay it off 8 months early. Now, I'm taking the money I was using on the car and adding it to my credit card. My credit card has a higher intrest rate but my monthly payments on the car were higher. I thought I would make faster progress paying the "larger" bill first, then the smaller one. I know that's backwards from what is usually suggested. I owed slightly less on the car, too. And, get this, I paid tithe last week. It wasn't the full 10% but it was close to 8%. I know this seems "wrong" but I'm focusing on bills, then on paying full tithe once I'm debt free except for the student loans. It was a baby step with the tithe. Giving that much money to the Church always caused a clench in my gut.

Good luck. Stay safe. I'm glad you got the job, even if I disagree with contractors on general principle. Employment is a blessing. Take care of yourself.

I bet no one can guess what type of pets I have. My profile picture is Lady Tosca. I also have two boys, Koda Bear and Taliesin. Taliesin Koda Bear Lady tosca This is my parents' dog, Tessa. Too cute not to share.

I just made my last car payment! I own my car, free and clear! Almost have all my debts (except my student loan) paid off! One credit card to go! *dances about*

Wayne, I can't imagine getting up at 3AM to read scripture. That's awesome. Thanks for the inspiration, since sometimes my scripture study is shortcircuited by "no time." I'll have time if I'm willing to get up a bit eariler. Probably not 3am, though. :) I don't know why we're not asked to pray about the Bible. It would seem to make sense, in a way. Perhaps it's because the Bible is more familiar to people? The Holy Spirit speaks to people in different ways. Perhaps you're more analytical and not as aware of emotional experiences. I don't mean that as an insult. Emotions may not be how the Spirit communicates if it's not you're communication "style." I find it interesting that you know the Book of Mormon is divinely inspired. Maybe for you, it will be a more "quiet" knowledge instead. I hope you keep posting in here. I enjoy reading your comments. :) Have a great day!

I made it to Sacrament but went home after. I wasn't feeling well. Good thing it was a morning meeting, since the stomach flu hit hard in the afternoon. This Sunday is my drill weekend. I doubt I'll be able to attend. I did pack my Book of Mormon and a journal. I'll also email both my visitng teachers. LOL. We've gone high tech. They're both on Facebook.

Lost, Where is your anger coming from? I wonder if there is something under the anger that is making it more difficult for you to feel repentance? Or to feel forgiven? Perhaps there's a key here.

Oh, man! You mean jaywalking is a sin!? Dude, no Celestial Kingdom for me. But... wait... I don't jaywalk I jayrun That's altogether different. Shew! Ok, seriously now. I was thinking about the scenario of the woman who has no self esteem unless a man sleeps with her. Often, women who were sexually abused as children do not develop a healthy set of boundaries, or a healthy sense of themselves. Often, they don't see their sexuality as something sacred. They view sexuality as nothing important. Their saying no in the past meant nothing; it was taken from them. Some develop a sense of sex as a commodity. "When I was 10 and 'Uncle Jimmy' had sex with me, he gave me an MP3. Well, it's ok as long as I get something." Their boundaries are unhealthy. Sometimes, they have little or no boundaries- other times, they have very rigid boundaries. Some women I worked with report hating their bodies, hating sex, hating being touched. Sex is "evil, dirty, and wrong." My point is, wouldn't Heavenly Father take into account when someone was hurt that badly. If she doesn't view sex as sacred, if she has little to no understanding of her worth as a human being, if she views herself as a "sex object.."

Wayne, I'm curious... have you ever prayed about the Bible? Or what you're reading? To know it's true. I wonder what would happen if you did. For me, gaining a testimony had to be both a mental and a "feeling" experience. It took me several years to get baptized. I just didn't have a testimony to the Book of Mormon or Joseph Smith. I attended Chapel. I enjoyed being with the people and I agreed with most of what I was learning. I was becoming a better person, even without the faith. A missionary asked me what I would do if I gained a testimony, would I be baptized. Without hestitation, I answered yes. If I knew it was true, then, yes. Several months later, I was listening to a talk in Sacrament. The speaker quoted the verse about Peter walking on water toward Jesus. When he lost the faith, he started sinking. But, he also had enough faith to get out of the boat to start with. At that point, I prayed differently. I asked for help getting out of the boat and to know what I was doing was right. In other words, tell me if it's wrong. I promised to be baptized. I ended up with a very powerful, peaceful word "yes." I knew it was true. It's funny. A friend and I were going up to a "Why I Believe" talk at the Temple. On the way back, I told her "I have to get baptized now." I swear, she almost crashed the car in shock! LOL. Anyway, keep reading. And ask questions. No knowledge is ever wasted. But, maybe open the door a crack--- what if it is true?

The other side of the coin... How Guys Think Yeah, it's blank....

Adult Protective Services. Call them or have the Bishop call. If their living arrangements and mental capacity are as impacted as you have seen, they need some sort of help. Perhaps assisted living or at least some services in the home.

It sounds like they need more help than the Church can provide. Perhaps it is no longer possible for them to live independently. Call Adult Protective Services. Given what you've described here, at the very least, they need an evaluation.

Sheep, Don't give up! Relapse is a part of recovery. It's painful. It's hard. It's a ______! But, you can get back up and try again. And again. And again. The fact you're in here, "venting", indicates that part of you doesn't want to give up and give in. Get back to your 12- Step groups. Call your bishop. Call your sponsor. Do something different. Waiting to be more mature won't change anything. Maturity is not just a matter of time. It's a matter of personal growth and effort. I've met people in their 50s who act like teenagers. Nope. Being in the Church and with people who can be "good influences" are part of what will help you to be mature. Stop whining and start doing something different. You already know what yo need to do here. It's hard but swallow the fear, guilt, and pride and do it! Don't let fear/ shame/ guilt keep you chained into addiction. Do what you have to do. And don't give up!

Just curious- many posters have mentioned medically able to serve. Does a disability disqualify someone from serving? For example, if a young man (or woman) is paralyzed or lost a leg would they be allowed to serve?

That scene in STIV was hilarious. I know it was overdone but it was done for the humor of it. I agree. Robert Downey Jr. should not have been casted as Holmes. There are plenty of good English actors- let them play the role.