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First, her husband is no Jacob. I doubt he put in 7 years of work to gain her hand. Did you even read the OP? The marriage by the op's description was a disaster from the start. He said he doesn't love her. Can you have a marriage without love? Of course but it can only exist where there is at least respect and regard for the other spouse. Marriage with intent and not to cover sin. Two wrongs don't and never did make a right. By your proposal she should suffer for five more years and sacrifice some of the best years of her life. As some form of penance?

Your advice is no different than Omega's, except you couch it in a bunch of if's. if both you and your husband want to save your marriage....... He is done. Read the op. They have tried to make it work. She is young. It's time to cut bait, and go. To the OP. You are not scripturaly required to suffer with someone who cannot/will not maintain their covenant.

First of all, let me congratulate you for being a real trooper. You have decided to stay with your husband regardless of the fact that he has committed 3 of the 3 A's that in my mind justify divorce (adultery, addiction, abuse). Don't be in a hurry to get sealed. It is not something to be trifled with, it is sacred, and is not to be taken lightly. How long has he been on this good path? Have all of his actions shown that he is worthy to be sealed to you? If it were me I would have a very, very, very long probationary period before I decided this is the person I want to be sealed to. People don't change, when they do it's great, but they can also relapse. What will you do if/when he relapses?

So by your explanation, anyone who is "exceedingly rich" should not spend their riches on vain and material triffling things? What if that "exceedingly rich" individual is so wealthy that they donate in tithe more than you make in a year? Is that enough? oh, and by the way they still have enough to purchase a $50K watch. Or should they give away their money to the point that they can no longer afford a $50K watch? Thereby making them equal to someone who hasn't either worked as hard, or been as materially blessed? If that is the case, then why pursue the riches? The law of consecration is based upon everyone getting sufficient for their needs/ability to use. That means all will be different, not equal. Some will by definition have more because they are more able stewards, others will have less, because maybe they aren't good at managing their allotment.

You can't prove a negative. However, the fact remains that the majority of our General Authorities live in the best neighborhoods, drive expensive cars, and have the ability/wherewithal to take any vacation they want. Are they "out" of harmony with scriptural admonitions about how we ought to live and serve one another? Simply because they are wealthy, and have sought after wealth?

It is the conveniences we enjoy as Americans that free us up to pursue wealth. You will never have enough if you spend more than you make. But in America a $20K lifestyle with a wife and kids is not self-sufficient, even if you eliminate the ziploc bags.

In my professional career I have known many members of the church, how much they make, and how much they pay in tithing. Bishops, stake presidents, and yes even a 70 or two. Many of them do very well. Many of them live in large and spacious buildings. Many of them have multiple cars, suv's, motorcycles, boats, campers, trailers, take fantastic trips, and generally live a lifestyle that most of us can't fathom. If you were to see what these people actually pay in tithing, vs their income you would be shocked. Both for good and for bad. Some are very generous, most are average or slightly below. Oh, and they still have money left over for watches, golf memberships, etc, etc, etc. The pursuit of wealth is a means to an end. If you love what you do and it is in a lucrative career than the money is a side effect of that love. If you love what you do and it's not in a lucrative career, then you still have that love of life. The people who have wealth have many good reasons to purchase $50K watches, and I have outlined some of them. They are good reasons. After they pay 10% or more to the church, who are we to say what they do is wasteful/excessive or not?

Wrong. The reasons for buying a $50K watch are the same as for buying a $50 dollar watch. Just different hierarchy of needs. The guy who buys the $50K watch needs it for more than telling time.

Good reasons to by a $50K watch. 1. It's unique 2. It's high quality 3. You can afford it I'm sure I can think of others. What one man may consider wasteful and excessive is seen as necessary and exciting by another. Who are we to say, and who are we to spend someone else's hard earned money? Pro capitalist, and pro business do not equal anti expensive watch. It is because you are "pro" those things that expensive watches exist, and why we seek to obtain them. Just ask Omega, with a name like Omega Seamaster I'm sure he can educate on why expensive watches are important.

The previous points are well taken, but they speak to the exception rather than the rule. I live in a ward with a lot of students, they have huge debt burdens, they are having children, driving nice cars, have fancy cell phones, get section 8 housing, free vehicle registration, food stamps, and generally live a pretty good life. All the while they lament about their poverty, and point to the teachings of the prophets for their circumstance. They would say they followed the teachings of the prophets by not putting off marriage, and starting their family right away, somehow they forgot that they are supposed to be self sufficient. Often times we see those two things do not go together. In a perfect world people would follow the teachings of the prophets, all the teachings of the prophets. The students in my ward feel they have chosen righteously, and hold their heads up, and put their chests out, all the while they are on the government boobie...

Serve your mission, do a good job. Go to school. Don't feel any pressure to get married or not get married. Date worthily, but know that if you date you will likely get married. Don't date frivolously, as it will only bring hurt to others. We are counseled that marriage to the right person in the right place at the right time is the most important decision you can make. Don't feel any pressure to rush it. When you meet the right person you should marry that person. If you meet that person while going to school, then great, if not then no matter, you will be successful and wealthy and will be a very eligible bachelor.

Bishops are within their rights to counsel the members about eternal families, and the responsibilities of husbands and wifes to one another as concerns eternal marriage. This, is not marriage counseling. Bishops in general, are not qualified to recognize deficiencies in communication, teach how to communicate, resolve specific issues, or cognitively recognize how people are feeling/reacting to the counseling they are receiving. Moreover, once an individual has decided to get divorced, Bishops are not qualified to advise on division of assets, custody, divorce costs/procedures. Any advice given to me by my bishop on such matters would be taken with a grain of salt.

Were not in the Philippines. If we were your cultural point of view would be valid. Divorce is legal in the US and most other places. I do not propose that a bishops adivice is useless. Simply that they are not trained to give appropriate counseling in most instances. You are right Catholic priests are not married. And they do get training. But our LDS bishops do not have the training a qualified catholic priest has. They don't have the education or doctrinal background catholic prirests have. By comparison our bishops were mere amateurs.

You couldn't be more wrong. Bishops are not counselors. Just because they are married does not mean they have the ability to counsel someone else about their marriage outside of having those individuals follow basic gospel principles or aiding in a repentance process. Just because I could fix my sink doesn't mean I did it right. And because I fixed my sink it does not qualify me to fix someone else's sink. Likely they have a different sink. Professionals exist because "experienced" people who are not qualified to do a job usually mess it up. I live in a house where a supposedly experienced homeowner (previous) "fixed" the sprinklers and "fixed" the sink, but did not do it right. Did it stop leaking? Yes. Was it only a patch job that didn't last? Yes. Would a professional have fixed it right? Yes. Again a bishop is not a counselor. He is at best an experienced homeowner with a limited scope of experience. We don't even know if his experience is a good one. But somehow he is instantly qualified in all things????

Correct, which is why the church has the fast offering system. The bishop sees to the temporal/spiritual welfare of the ward by employing this system in instances where it is needed, and the Bishop doesn't have proper expertise. Plumbing can be fairly expensive as well. If I get someone that will do the job for free, but messes it up what have I gained?

You obviously are a pillar of self-control. I think the point is that women do have a responsibility to dress modestly. Men have a responsibility to respect women. Women have a responsibility to respect themselves, and their covenants. This isn't about self-control as much as it is about people respecting themselves and one another. That's not to say certain things can't be considered arousing, or alluring no matter how covered up someone is. I do not want to see women having to go full coverage head to toe like in some other countries just because men can't behave/control themselves. Teaching women that they are somehow responsible for the lascivious thoughts of a man isn't correct. Teaching women that they need to respect themselves, and those who observe them is correct. I, much like Omega am a pillar of self-control.

It's ok to talk to your Bishop about these things, but asking for advice is something different. I see he did exactly what he should have done, which was refer you to a professional. Anything past that and he is out of bounds, unless he is an attorney, or unless he has family and marital counseling experience. I think the bishop has responsibility for the temporal welfare of the ward, but he should not be giving advice about topics he knows nothing about. I have temporal responsibility for my family, but I am not a mechanic, nor do I try to tell a mechanic what to do and how to do it when he is working on my car.

You can get an attorney very cheaply if your husband is employed and has assets. There are ways to make him pay for the attorney. Don't talk to your Bishop about this unless his an attorney, or unless he is only giving you spiritual advice. Likely he is not qualified to discuss particulars of your divorce/advise on that subject.

This isn't a problem that is specific because it is same-sex attraction. This is a problem with attraction and priorities. I am attracted to the opposite sex. Somehow I manage to control myself and not cheat on my wife. This is something many, many people deal with in their daily lives, being same-sex attracted does not make a difference in this situation.

Get an attorney he is trying to move away from his obligations

I think you were a little idealistic. I served in South America. Inactivity was 80%. My home ward inactivity rate s somewhere between 65-70%. This is normal. This is normal not only in the LDS church, but in other not for profit/volunteer/charitable organizations, and every other church in the world. There are many reasons why people fall away. It is ridiculous to take it personally when someone does. I baptized many on my mission. Some went on to serve missions of their own, some fell away, our AP even went inactive shortly after returning home. Don't equate what you see in Utah/Idaho with the rest of the world. In those states the church is cultural and social as much as or even more than faith based.

Not a bad example. I believe Omega has been listening to Dr. Laura, who has used this analogy multiple times. For those that don't know she is a Jew... At the end of the day weight loss is about portion control and exercise. The two need to go together with more emphasis on portion control over exercise. Per Jillian Michaels "you can eat yourself out of any exercise program" In other words it doesn't matter how much you exercise if you can't stop shoveling crap down your throat.

I'm sure counseling will help but if you are human you will be attracted to people who are not your spouse. You need to deal with those events because they will happen again and again.

I'll echoing omega on this. He has given very good advice based on the description of facts as presented by the OP.

Bottom line is yout need to make sure he is number one in your life. You need to make sure he feels that way all the time. Don't expect him to understand. Unless he is homosexual he can't What is your goal? To stay married? If so then get the help you need and don't get mad at your husband for your problems.