Sali

I used to really like perfume and I still have some, but all I can do is look at it in the pretty bottles nowadays. I just can't stand it anymore. If I am around someone with perfume on, I get an awful migraine. I really feel for people who have it worse than that. Is it something that they have added to perfumes in the last decade or so? I don't really think any of them smell pleasant anymore. At our last Stake Conference, my DH and I sat down on one pew and the perfume smell was so strong that I told my husband that I needed to move, so we hopped over to another row. Also, if I am close enough or comfortable enough with a person, I explain the situation to them and ask that if we are together would they mind not wearing it. Most people are pretty understanding and do try to remember. Aren't we asked not to wear these products in Temples now? I thought I heard something about it, but I am not sure.

Oh wow! I was using the 'race' word as an example of a difference, not in the way that you seem to have interpreted as my using it.

Can we chill on the my country is greater than yours? It's offensive to people. We wouldn't talk this way about races etc, so it's not really acceptable as far as ethnicities, cultures etc go either!

I have to agree with what I said here. I reread my previous post and feel I worded it rather unfortunately. Do I think a person looking at porn should be a dealbreaker? No. I think Backroads hit the nail on the head. It would definitely depend upon the person's attitude toward it.

You may not believe it. But I, as a woman, can totally believe it. Did you read the article? It explains why and how this happens. If my husband had this problem and is looking at pornography and using it to become aroused, he is mentally not thinking of me and is desecrating a sacred, intimate act between us. How do I know then that when we are intimate he is not using me as a vehicle for release rather than sharing a sacred, intimate experience? The trust is all gone. The betrayal is devastating. I am not sure I would be able to intimate with him. He is mentally with another woman. Sorry but I am not sure I would be able to deal with this in my marriage, especially if he was not putting in a whole lot of effort to overcome this.

Is Porn the Same as Adultery? "While men struggle to understand why women place pornography in the same category with adultery, we must try; or, at the very least, accept the testimony of women at face value. For women, whose intimacy rests upon a foundation of mental connection, the effect of pornography on marriage is very much the same as outright adultery. It destroys intimacy. It betrays trust. And, even when undiscovered, viewing pornography creates emotional distance. In the end, women suffer the same physical, psychological, and spiritual anguish men experience as a result of adultery." I thought this article was brilliant. I couldn't have said any of it better myself. Looking at Pornography is taking something away from the woman and breaking sacred covenants. In a woman's eyes, it can be akin to adultery, it is a big deal.

The law in England is that your child is required to start school the first term (semester) after the age of 5. But the school year runs from September to July so if the child's birthday is say January and they will be 5 that month, they can commence school from the age of 4 from the previous September. It's the parent's choice.

I have mentioned it to the Bishop. It's not going to change so I am not going to flog a dead horse to try and change it. All I can do is focus on how important the Sacrament is to me and let it go.

This issue for me gets me a little hot under the collar. I constantly have to take a deep breath when I think about it. In our ward, our Deacons not only have to wear a white shirt and tie, but it is required they wear a suit jacket too. My son one Sunday, spilt something on his suit jacket prior to leaving. He didn't go up to pass the Sacrament because of this reason. Not enough Deacons showed up so he was asked to go help this one time, even if he did not have his jacket. Just prior to the meeting starting some more Deacons showed up and one was asked to take my son's place and my son asked to return to his seat. Boy, I was steaming that day. I personally don't agree with white shirts etc as a requirement, but if that is how the Bishop wants to run things, then I'm not going to make a big stink of it. But I just think it is a shame that these type of situations happen, because of a cultural tradition. In fact, our ward was also admonished by the SP in one of our Sacrament meetings to let go of the traditions that our ward is heavily steeped in.

I have only really heard the 'hw' sound in Idaho and Utah. It is not used in the South where I live and is never used in the UK either. It is very prominent whilst listening to General Conference.:)

Hmmm I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, those points of view are very similar to what we hear from the world regarding why it's ok that your husband looks at pornography. On the other hand, I guess all men look at other women to a degree, but I am sure a lot more men are more disciplined than what this guy is trying to say. I know my husband is very respectful of me and while I am sure he notices other women, he never makes remarks or even gives me any reason to think he is noticing them. I am thankful for that.

Angel, you are so exhausted. I feel it as I have some similar trials in my life too that seem neverending. Very similar to yours. It's so hard to feel positive, or pick yourself up when you feel that exhausted. It's so easy to feel forgotten by God, or to feel that other's lives are better than yours. It's so easy to feel angry and bitter. I can't say that things are going to get better, they haven't for us yet, but what I do know is that how I cope is just by allowing myself to ride through the experience, feel the pain and accept that life is what it is for me. This way I stop fighting myself, and stop the yearning for better. I remind myself constantly that 'it is what it is'. This doesn't make it all go away, it just helps me to accept my situation. The acceptance helps calm the negative emotions. What I do know is that you are too exhausted to try to change how you are feeling, so for now, just try accepting, even though life is pretty rubbish. Big hugs for you. I will keep you in my prayers. Just edited to say that I am not saying that you should never ever try to get over this, my advice is just for while you are in crisis as I feel you are atm.

Or a Freudian slip. Haha.:lol:

Could anyone please tell me what the rule differences are for senior missionaries versus single Elders and Sisters? For example, are they allowed to have contact with family, leave mission area etc etc. Thanks. :)

How about Fifty Shades of Grey? :lol: I love to read, so I would be interested. :)

Interesting that there are more members outside of the US than inside now. I agree with what you are saying, but the evidence is that members outside of the US really don't pay a whole lot of attention to what is going on politically in the US as far as Church is concerned. US politics are just not mentioned in Church. That has been my experience when I was outside the US. Of course, I can't speak for everyone or everywhere. Our Gospel Doctrine teacher and her husband love to bring up politics in class. Liberals are particularly under fire. I just gather my stuff and walk out if it starts up.

Except the LDS Church is not just an American Church.

Ok maybe I should have explained a bit better. Yes mentally ill people can 'attention seek' but they don't attention seek in the same way "normal"* people do. It comes from a different place. For example, my son has extreme ADHD. I have had people say that he chooses his behavior, which he does, but what they don't realise is that he chooses his behavior from a different place than most of us do. We choose our behavior mostly aware of the consequences of our choices. He is not able to do that. He is not able to see consequences so his choices come from a limited understanding. See the difference? So where your aunt may be showing attention seeking behavior, it comes from a different place. She may be so full of anxiety that she can't help herself. It sounds like your aunt has a need for someone to take care of her. Her illness is probably so overwhelming for her that she doesn't cope. Unfortunately carers of mentally ill people can't cope either. It's such a difficult situation. I really feel for your mom. Is there anyone who can share the load with her?

Being a mental health professional myself, it troubles me to hear mental illness described as attention seeking behavior. People who are mentally ill cannot help their behavior. They need help. Everything in their life is dramatic for them beyond their control and that is why it creates a lot of drama. Saying that, looking after someone with mental illness can be more than what the average person can cope with, so your mom does not need to feel that she can fulfil every one of your aunt's needs. That is impossible and she will end up unwell herself. Is your aunt getting any professional help?

Thanks for your replies guys, I will phone the Temple and ask them. For me I don't see anything wrong with it, but I want to be respectful to Temple standards so will ask them to make sure. I know I will get some looks from others in my ward, but that's only because I live in an ultra Conservative ward which is steeped in tradition as we are in the South and very rural. Very difficult for someone who comes from a big city which is a lot more liberal.

I have noticed that lately these are becoming more common. I am not meaning all over bright pink hair, just subtle tones of peekaboo highlights. I have seen a few YW in our ward with them, and I like them and wouldn't mind having some. Are they considered extreme? Would they be frowned on in the Temple?

Working as a Counselor, I soon changed my views on good versus bad people. Everybody has a life story. We will never know why another person may do the things they do. Someone mentioned Hitler. We have some idea of his life, but we will never experience his life the way he did; how it shaped him. Do I believe he was born bad? No. Each of us react differently to our individual life's experiences. That is why Jesus Christ can be the only true judge. He can see our hearts. We are not able to see other's hearts the way he can. So I hesitate to label anyone bad or evil. I do not know their life story, their mental struggles or whatever may have happened to cause them to do the things they do.

How is this possible? I believe that we will live with our spouses, but we have to remember our family units extend greatly. Our children marry and have their own children which becomes their family unit. Then add in the sons and daugher in laws who are in units with their own parents? Can't see how that would work. Edited to say I realise you were talking about the premortal existence but the same principle applies. Edited again to say I am referring to the fact of 'living' in separate family units, not organisation of family units.

I believe and have felt the Spirit witness to me that the LDS Church has the fullness of the Gospel. This is my own opinion and belief, but I feel that as we are each progressing, we will reach levels that are where we will benefit the most at certain times in our lives. So for example, a person may be drawn to the Catholic (or insert any other faith religion) faith and feel the Spirit because it is 'right' for them at that moment. It is a place where they will still learn about truths and where they will also be the most comfortable. As I said, only my opinion.

Mine are the same. They flare up every once in a while. I do miss my second pair of earrings.