dahlia

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Posts posted by dahlia

  1. On 9/11/2018 at 1:43 PM, Vort said:

    I didn't teach Santa Claus to my children. They seem no worse for having missed out.

    My husband and I didn't encourage Santa-worship with our son. We always emphasized that his parents would supply his needs and wants, not some fairy.  That said, the grandparents and the rest of society did a pretty good job of convincing him that there was a Santa.

    Regarding the 'parents ate the Halloween candy' type videos, I often wonder if parents who do this love their children. There's joking with kids and there's making kids suffer. Why would you do this? Some of these videos just makes my heart ache for these children - and I'm not all that sensitive, as some of you know. 😂 You're only a child once, you look to your parents for security and love... I don't know. Maybe it's the mom in me (tho I've seen mothers do some pretty awful things to their children in the name of being an internet sensation), but I wouldn't treat my son like that. My late husband was a guy's guy, a combat vet, yet I don't think he ever raised his voice to our son, much less spanked him - because we were happy to have our little fella and he was a joy to us.  Life is full of unhappiness that can't be avoided. Why would parents want to purposefully add one additional second of unhappiness to their child's life? 

  2. On 9/17/2018 at 2:03 PM, zil said:

    The Written Ward (after all, we're not actually speaking).

    The Online First Ward

    Ward to the Wisecrackers

    ETA: That could be "Ward for the Wisecrackers"

    I like "The Written Ward," though investigators and others may wonder what a 'ward' is. I still like it, tho.

  3. 2 hours ago, zil said:

    My friend at work (M) says she talked to another of our friends at work (I) who has a relative (X) in the Logan UT area who says that his ward (X's ward) is part of a pilot program trying out the 2-hour block.  They didn't get rid of any meeting, they shortened them (exactly how is unclear).  Sounds worse to me than getting rid of one of them - 20 minute Sunday School?

    Anywho, that's as authoritative as I've heard.  What they do, they do, and we support it, but if we chop everything short, it's gonna look to me more like when Moses broke the first set of tablets than like when Jesus gave the Sermon on the Mount.

    Sacrament meeting could stay the same length, but I can see shortening the other sessions. In my experience, they often go one way or the other - not enough content/participation to fill the time or really good flow and the time is too short. Maybe we could find a happy medium. 

    What would happen to the kids if primary was removed? Would we have kids in adult Sunday School? No. I can hardly hear myself think in Sacrament meeting as it is, and people seem to have no problem letting their babies cry in RS. It often spoils the lesson for me. I am in a ward with a lot of young marrieds w/kids. Maybe in a ward with a more mixed age group, it wouldn't be so bad, but I'm OK with the children going someplace separate.

  4. So, I'm reading, If You Thought Last General Conference Was Exhilarating, Buckle Up!, in Mormon Light. It discusses the author's impressions from various people that there are going to be major changes announced in October.  Possibilities he put forth were:

    •  reducing church meetings to two hours (actually, my bishop's wife said the same thing to me and that they were testing it in some wards)
    • getting rid of the primary program
    • dissolving singles wards 

    All very interesting.  Assuming that the Church is going to continue to move with changes such as ministering, what do you guys think might be announced in October?

    For me, I'd like to see a relaxation in ward boundaries. This is purely personal - either my son or I would like to move to the next town over. We're talking adding another 8 minutes or so to the drive to church. I feel I can't move outside my current ward because all my friends are there. Yeah, maybe I could make new friends, but maybe not. I think it would be different if I were moving out of the area. I get that I can't commute 4 hours to go to church. But living 8 minutes away, I'd see my former wardmates at the bank, at the grocery, we'd end up talking for a couple of minutes and then moving on. Very sad. I've seen it. 😞 

    Also, though my son isn't a member, he isn't against the church (he's even received priesthood blessings). He might be able to come to church with me a few times, but if he began to investigate, if he moved and I didn't, eventually he'd have to go to the other ward. This ward shares our building. My son and I would be like ships in the night, passing each other between services instead of sharing experiences at church. I am perhaps being dramatic, but you get my point.

    So, what changes would you like to see?

  5. 13 minutes ago, Vort said:

    I wish I could say I was happy to hear that, but instead it makes me dread the idea of doing anything in DC.

    Be afraid, be very afraid.  

    One of my sisters wanted to be authorized to do substitute teaching in Montgomery County, MD, just across the DC border. They had her prints, picture, and whatever else they needed in less than 30 minutes.  Then she went to DC for the same thing and they took hours. They are not 'civil servants,' they are drones collecting a check and they don't care about the city, the job, or the people.

  6. On 7/31/2018 at 10:46 PM, Scott said:

    In a lot of ways, I'm glad I no longer work for the state department of transportation (I did for several years).  I was in engineering. 

    I can't vouch for Seattle/Washington DOTs, but I do know that we did work hard and that the public microscope was always on us (everything we did was public record).

    The thing is that we knew that if we ever did screw up that whatever we did could make the news really quickly.  

    I worked as hard as my DOT job as I did in the private industry, but in a lot of ways, the pressure is less in the private industry.   With the DOT we didn't have to worry about profits and getting laid off, but there is stress knowing that any mistake you made could end up on the evening news. I am glad that nothing I ever did made the news.

    Of course, I'm not justifying what Seattle did; it sounds like someone really screwed up. They should be called out.   I'm just reminiscing about the stress I used to have worried that if I ever did make a mistake that it would hit the news.  

    I did my dissertation work on managers and their immediate staff in Seattle's City Hall. I can tell you that I was so impressed with the work ethic of everyone I met. I'm from DC and very familiar with the type of person who works in DC's City Hall. It's night and day. Seattlites are actually proud of what they do and want to help the citizens. Folks in DC could care less. They get their check whether you're in line for 4 hours or 40 minutes. Trust me, I went in expecting a bunch of clock-watchers, but everyone was just the opposite.

    You are correct that one of the fears I heard repeatedly was doing something that might wind up in the papers. : ) 

    eta - I miss Seattle; it was a lovely place to live, but it's gone downhill and gotten too expensive at the same time. I had thought about going back to that area to live, but not now.

  7. On 12/17/2017 at 8:31 PM, NeedleinA said:

    Elder Donald L. Hallstrom  Turn to the Lord

    You took offense to this brother* and it prompted you to take the time to write a thread about leaving the church.
    I could easily take offense to you tossing around race ( 3 blond white women ) like you often do, but I'm not going to leave the church because of your actions.

    The choice is mine, the choice is yours to be offended or not.

    *I reread your comments. As the HPGL for many years I was in charge of the meetinghouse cleaning assignments. Asking a person why they can't clean would simply be helpful information to know. You took it as interrogation by a white man. Perhaps he simply needed to know "why" so he didn't put you in the same position again unknowingly. You were the one who went back to him "hot" after the fact. It is okay to look in the mirror sometimes too.

    I took it as an interrogation. The white part came later, after I had time to think.

    I don't know who this brother is used to talking to at work, but I'm sure not used to it, not at work and not in my personal life. I have had almost 99.99% good experiences in my ward, which is perhaps why this 'interrogation'  struck me as so out of line. 

  8. On 12/17/2017 at 6:45 PM, Carborendum said:

    Different buildings will have different methods of getting the building cleaned.  In our building, a ward is assigned for one year.  Three wards in the building means we get it every three years.  

    On the years we are assigned, the bishop has decided to separate the ward alphabetically by last name into four groups.  We clean once a week.  This means that our family goes to clean the building once a month.

    While there are many families in the ward, it does seem that the same 6 or 7 families are going to clean each month.  Many simply don't help.  Others may make it some months and miss others.  We don't know why.  We (my family) just keeps showing up when it is our turn in the alphabet.  So, we have cleaned the building 12 times this year.  We get next year off.

    You have a ward full of people (as opposed to a branch) and you end up cleaning once a month? Wow. That's a lot. There are names I've yet to see on the Bulletin. And yeah, I'm sure everyone has an excuse. I have mine, but at least I did my turn when asked the first time.

  9. 23 hours ago, NeedleinA said:

    Elder Donald L. Hallstrom  Turn to the Lord

    You took offense to this brother* and it prompted you to take the time to write a thread about leaving the church.
    I could easily take offense to you tossing around race ( 3 blond white women ) like you often do, but I'm not going to leave the church because of your actions.

    The choice is mine, the choice is yours to be offended or not.

    *I reread your comments. As the HPGL for many years I was in charge of the meetinghouse cleaning assignments. Asking a person why they can't clean would simply be helpful information to know. You took it as interrogation by a white man. Perhaps he simply needed to know "why" so he didn't put you in the same position again unknowingly. You were the one who went back to him "hot" after the fact. It is okay to look in the mirror sometimes too.

    I'm not leaving  (and I had completely forgotten the story about the misspelled name. It happens so frequently to me that I wouldn't be speaking to anyone if I let it bother me.  I was just saying, I see how people leave over what seems like minor things to other people. 

    I certainly see how people become less active. 

    If you had heard the Brother's tone, you might have felt differently. I don't know what he does for a living or what kind of people he's used to speaking to, but he needs to get a grip. If he had said, "Is there something else you can do?" I wouldn't have taken any offense at all. That, to me, would be a logical, inclusive, kind of question. But 'explain'?  Heck no. 

  10. 4 hours ago, changed said:

    how to be more civil and humble (by your own beautiful example ;)  

    I will try to be civil when I see this brother next. Humble may take more effort than I am willing to give. 

    I hate to go down this path, but when stuff like this happens, I have to ask myself, "Would he ask a man this? Would he ask a white man this? Why are you asking me these questions?" Not everything is gender or race related, but then a lot is and sometimes you have to call people on their garbage.

    My stepfather was a litigator. One day he won an especially large settlement and the judge actually asked him, "What are you going to do with all that money?" Wha????  White litigators pull in big money all the time, but no one asks them what they going to do with their fee.  Yeah, you have to be watchful, because people can get up to all kinds of shenanigans. 

  11. 3 hours ago, DoctorLemon said:

    I am sorry this happened to you.

    The thing about the Church, we proclaim the gospel to everyone, and we get all kinds of people who become members, including those with zero social skills. 

    I remember right out of law school, I was unable to find employment for several months.  I was sitting alone in Elders' Quorum, minding my own business, when this one guy comes and sits down next to me and "welcomes me to the ward" (I had been active in the ward for approximately six years at this point, five years longer than he had been around, and he had "welcomed me" two other times before).  He starts asking me all of these intrusive questions about my career.  I told him I was out of law school and in the job market.  He said, "Well, I thought about going to law school and I have the qualifications such that I could have gotten into any law school I wanted, but I saw there were no jobs in that field and I didn't want to doom myself to perpetual unemployment by getting a law degree, so I got an MBA and now I am making six figures."  I was shocked - you don't say such things to someone who is going through unemployment!  You just don't.  Had my thoughts been more together, I would have asked him if he wanted a medal for his model life choices.

    Point of the story - there are some members who have such bad social skills that it seems their purpose is to hang around and drive everyone else inactive.  Unfortunately, since the gospel is supposed to be for everyone, we have to put up with such people now and then (and by "put up", I mean "ignore").  Hey, we occasionally get such people on this forum, who seem to just want to fight with everyone! 

    About the best thing to be done is to ignore such people and/or feel sorry for them (imagine being that guy and offending people wherever he goes!)  Perhaps the reason the guy is "building cleaning coordinator" and not the bishop is damage control, a place where he can be his unrefined self without driving too many people inactive?  

    This is why you just let people tell you what they have to say and move on. He had no right to ask me to explain myself. BTW - I'm a lapsed lawyer (changed careers). I reallllly know enough not to ask if someone has passed the bar or gotten a job 'yet.'  I think some people were raised in barns. 

  12. 2 hours ago, zil said:

    There are low-impact things one can do when cleaning the church (wiping the chalk dust from the tray at the bottom of the chalk board, erasing left-over text from chalk boards / dry-erase boards, etc.) and one can do them as slowly as one chooses.  If even these are too much, one can request to be removed, and this is doing a favor for the person in charge of coordinating (and your fellow ward members) because then they don't put you on the list expecting one more person to show up only to be a person short during that week.

    My understanding is that the wards who share the building rotate, so, 3 wards means you do it once / quarter, 2 wards means every other month, etc.

    Those who live close enough to a temple are also assigned nights (late nights) to help clean the temple.

    Just some FYIs about cleaning assignments.  (These and welfare assignments are extremely hard to fill.)

    I have done this twice before and after 5-6 years in the ward, don't recall ever being asked more than once to do it. Now it's not only 3x, but 3x w/n 5 months! Enough already!  And I already do what I can do. The repetitive motion stuff like vacuuming is out; I do the dusting, but it is repetitive enough, given the amount of space to cover. We have a young ward with many families with multiple kids. They come through and have multiple people working on the family's 1 task while I have to do all of my work myself. I've had it. 

  13. I'm on dietdoctor out of curiosity. It is low carb, but definitely, with all the meat, not low cholesterol.  Veganism/vegetarianism will get to the low cholesterol, and you can do low carb if you need to go that way.  A little harder (I'm diabetic, so I know from carbs), but it can be done.

    I don't know why you've been asked to go low carb, but I will say that many diabetic ve*gans eat carbs and are OK. Some of my lowest blood sugars are when all I eat are potatoes.

  14. So, my name (misspelled) showed up in the bulletin for the 3rd time to help clean the church. I did it the first time, but not the 2nd. As it turns out, the brother in charge of cleaning schedules was standing in the foyer. To be polite, I told him I wasn't going to come. He asked me, "Can you explain?"  What? OK, fine. I did it once. That's my commitment. I have to take an arthritis med before and after I do that assignment and I just don't feel like bringing on pain in order to clean the church. 

    I walk toward the door, and I'm so hot I turn around and go back. "I've already done it once, "I repeated. Then he says he's done it four times. I am supposed to be shamed into compliance? Did he expect me just to roll over and say I'll show up? I'm 64. I don't need to explain myself to some white man about why I do or don't do something. 

    No one told me I'd have to be a maid to the Church when I joined. And people wonder why folks become less active.

     

  15. On 12/4/2017 at 9:03 AM, anatess2 said:

    Geostorm

    I'm partial to Gerard Butler movies.  But I found this movie very entertaining.  I expected it to be some liberal propaganda on Global Warming or some such but the movie expertly avoided this pitfall by sticking to moving the plot instead of going preachy.  They even managed to avoid partisanship by putting everybody within one political party, heroes and villains alike!  So we can just relax and enjoy the movie without having it politicized.  It's a simple plot, you see the twists coming, good enough suspense, lots of digital eye-candy, love the kid actress!  And what tops this sundae is the happy ending - I super duper love happy endings. 

    That sounds interesting - and is certainly a novel way of not blaming/canonizing any one particular group.

  16. I audit human subjects research at a Big 10 university. We frequently attend webinars on new trends in research; this is one of them. An on-going problem for IRBs (the boards that approve the research), however, is how do you verify who has signed the consent and who is putting in the data when using mobile devices? This is in addition to concerns re confidentiality of any info input into a mobile device. This all gives IRBs some headaches, but doesn't seem to be halting research in this area.

  17. As a former Catholic, I learned my Catechism, not the Bible. So, there were a lot of times when the missionaries would tell me something, and in the back of my  mind, I'd think - y'all have got to be fooling - then I'd find out it was right from the Bible. This is one reason why I believe the Church is true - every time I doubted, the missionaries were able to point to the Bible and show me where a belief or practice came from. Cool.

    Well, I've been asked to give a short talk on Christ's mercy and was looking up some relevant scripture. Earlier this evening I was reading a thread here about being cast into outer darkness. "Outer darkness" was another one of these phrases that I thought the LDS had made up. So, imagine my surprise when I read, "but the sons of the kingdom will be cast out into the outer darkness." Matthew 8:5-13   Wait - 'Outer darkness' is in the Bible??? You mean Joseph Smith didn't make it up?  I love it when this happens to me. I've read the BOM a few times. Maybe for 2018 my goal should be to read the Bible. I might learn something. :D

     

  18. Along the lines of 'where do people go,' what happens to those who accept the Gospel after death? Is it an automatic entry to the Celestial Kingdom?

    I sure would hate it if my late husband (to whom I am sealed by proxy) goes to the Celestial Kingdom, and I, who  was left to struggle here below for many years after his death (and hence, have had more time to mess up) wind up in the Terrestrial  Kingdom.