ChooseTheSun

What a wonderful blog! I hope you get many hits and update frequently so we can hear more :)

My heart goes out to you and your family. There are plenty of men who identify as straight who engage in anonymous male sex -- the Center For Disease Control even established a seperate category for them ("men who have sex with men") because they don't think of themselves as gay, yet they feel compelled to pursue homosexual activity, typically keeping it hidden afterwards from their "straight" world. The issue is the behavior and what is safe for you and your family. You are describing high risk behavior from a physical health point of view but also emotionally devistating. Talk with a skilled family therapist and establish a realistic plan for the future. Good luck and keep strong!

I don't know anything about conspiracy theories -- never got into them myself. Be careful of weed, though. In the eternal words of Def Leppard, "paranoia will destroy ya."

You might think about taking a formal bus tour for your first trip. The guides are pros at efficiently getting you to the sights, arranging food/lodging, and you'll know the cost before you go. You'll surely see more on a structured tour compared with winging it in a new foreign country, trying to figure out public transportation.... My family lived in England for years -- it's a beautiful country with much to see! Have fun when you finally go :)

Welcome, for sure :) Maybe instead of forecasting a dreadful and burdensome return, just start by going to Sacrament meeting, daily simple prayers, and listening to the Holy Spirit. If you find yourself anticipating horror stories and wanting to "slit your throat", chalk it up to lies from the Deceiver distracting you from your spiritual journey. Don't worry about every procedural hurdle for remembership right now if that brings you down and causes stagnation. Connect with the joy and wonder that you saw in your child's Temple wedding, for example, rather than predicting humiliation and dissatisfaction.

Great post! From one new convert to another -- welcome!

Ugly loud movie If only those lost hours could come back to me

Sociopath itself is not a psychaitric diagnosis. Antisocial Personality Disorder is a psychiatric diagnosis. Sociopath and Antisocial are not clinically interchangable -- one is a descriptor of behavior, and one is a formal psychaitric diagnosis. A provider may use the term sociopath to provide general information but not as a substitute for a DSM diagnosis. If he were told at some point that his diagnoisis was "sociopath" only, then that was not a clear, official diagnosis and my suggestion stands that should seek psychiatric reevaluation for a clarified diagnosis (antisocial or whatever).

Hey Joey, welcome! There is no psychiatric diagnosis of "sociopath" -- that is a lay term used to lable someone with antisocial issues, similar to what you describe -- lack of usual compassion, indifference rather than guilt, the sense that you are "wired" differently... I don't know how long ago 22 years old is for you, but you might consider seeking a psychiatric reevaluation for diagnostic clarifiaction. If you really have antisocial disorder, it may be helpful to have a psychiatrist on board, just as you'd want a physician following you for any other condition. There aren't a lot of treatment options for antisocial behaviors -- meds are helpful for peripheral symtpoms like mood swings, but not for the disorder itself. If you can find an LDS therapist, you can work towards adapting your symptoms in the context of the gospel. Good luck

My name came from my lessons with the missionaries, where the best is as bright as the sun with decreasing brightness (moon, stars) as choices stray from the best.

Hi Nancy. Welcome! People on this site are generally really nice and enjoy talking about their faith. To learn basics about our Church beliefs and doctrines, try LDS.ORG (not .net) or to MORMON.ORG. On the site you're on right now, you will read snipits of LDS faith from anonymous members but nothing official. Mormon.org is specifically for anyone who wants to learn more about LDS. Welcome :)

All your answers make sense. Thank you so much. And, yeah, the prime rib really cuts me a lot of slack in other areas.

I've read the posts about responding to strangers who question the garments. But what if it's your husband/wife? A snappy comeback like "you want to know about my underwear?" really won't cut it. I don't have my endowment yet, but it will be soon. My wonderful husband is a nonmember. Moderately supportive of me attending Church and even Temple baptisms, partly (mostly) because I cook him a prime rib every Sunday after church. The garments are going to be a whole new territory. He's loving, but I know something like garments will seem bizarre and likely off-puting. I don't know what modern garments look like, so maybe they'll blend in with the rest of my under-stuff. Or not? What do I tell him? Can he see them as routinely as a member-husband would? Do I hide my laundry?

I'm guessing that this thread will get locked because it's so old, but I just want to say this video is wonderful. I saw the longer version while working with the missionaries, and there wasn't a dry eye in the house. So well done and inspirational. Carry on

You look really happy! I live NORTH of most of Canada -- can't take the hot weather! :) I see lots of Canadians on this site, though. Welcome!

I'm in the same boat in a way -- husband is a nonmember and equates LDS with all the random religions that knock on doors and approach strangers. I've actually made things work by avoiding any pressure to convert him or the children. I go to church and read my scriptures, but I don't try to invite him to events or convert him in any way. I tithe my own income (not the husbands). My VT is arranging to meet with me away from home. For me, the hubbie's concern seemed more based in fear of "change", not the particulars of the religion. When he saw that my LDS membership didn't make me wacko and keep me from loving and supporting him, he lowered his guard. He even showed a brief flicker of disappointed shock when I didn't make it to church one Sunday (work). Give it time. The Holy Spirit is with you, and that is always a good sign

Welcome :) I might suggest having a meeting with the missionaries as soon as possible and start the lessons. I wouldn't worry that they'll "flock to you house like ants". Missionaries are very respectful of your time. They can also teach you about the sacrament and other practical information. Here's a Mormons Made Simple video -- Great series for new people.

Welcome! I'm new, too -- just baptized in January.

Funny, I thought this was a post about mixed race marriage! Got one of those, lots of fun for sure. I also have a mixed faith marriage. Less fun at times than if we were sealed, I'm sure. No family home evenings, lonely times in the pews. However, the Holy Spirit has brought me to the Church for a reason, so I know both my husband and I are where we need to be today. Absolutely I would be heading for rocky marriage times if I saw LDS marriages as idealistically in-sync and perfectly obedient, an impossible standard for any family, especially if only one parent is a member. As an LDS wife, if I was nagging the husband to go to church, forcing him to sit through scripture readings, scolding him for WoW issues, all because in my mind that's what must be done to be LDS, it would be very unpleasant. The Church teaches Family First, and as a woman I interpret that as building my faith to enrich my family by being a better wife/mother. Maybe I read the scriptures alone, but I'm reading them anyway, quietly praying for patience and for my family's spiritual health, and that can only attract blessings to my imperfect home. I also consult freely with my Bishop (who himself is a convert with many non-member family members). There's more of you (us) than you think! Good luck and welcome! Enjoy the process, savor the progression, and don't let someone else's failed expectations taint your enthusiasm for the Church!

As other posters have said, the double-whammy of orientation announcement and church rejection is rough, but keeping each issue as seperate as possible might help. There is an internet group called "It Gets Better" which is targeted towards gay youth and providing support, but there may some inspirational information for families as well. Be careful of "ex-gay" groups, as if someone can "pray away the gay". Not effective and can worsen situations, especially when someone gets married just to prove they're straight. :)

Congratulations! Welcome

Great pictures :)

With me the missionaries reviewed the lessons already taught during investigation. They expanded on themes and it seemed like new lessons. Also, a member family took the lead during these "second-round" lessons to help bridge from the missionaries to my new ward family. It was presented as an absolutely routine part of my conversion, and they referenced the second-round lessons even before the baptism. I hope you find a way to get those lessons, one way or another :) Good luck!

Welcome! Lots of support here from both new LDS like me and Forever-Been LDS like pretty much everyone else

Keep the faith. I know when I joined, I was assured that my baptism/confirmation washed away any past sins, and they certainly included more scandals than a couple of "long term sexual partners". The issue is how you live now. There would be lots of lonely converts if that wasn't true.