ChooseTheSun

I've got one with two in the wings. Quick thoughts: *Pick your battles *Don't take the stank 'tude personally *Never negotiate with terrorists, especially the ones in your home. Remember, you're helping her -- she just doesn't know it or won't admit it. Welcome to the club!

It's funny you mention this....it's actually true that if you say the word "gullible" really fast out loud a bunch of times, it sounds in your head like you're saying "orange".

What a great dream! Enjoy the post-dream happy buzz. Skip the analysis. BTW, I've never actually met any members of the Church of Scientology. Well, I'm sure I have, but I didn't know it at the time. I look forward to reading your posts, and I hope you feel welcome at this site.

Be careful... Why would a therapist tell you something like that about your husband? If she is his individual therapist and feels he has NPD, then it is ethically questionable that she would disclose that finding to you and not him. It would be like your doctor telling your husband you have a particular diagnosis and not telling you. He's entitled to confidentiality, and his therapist should know better. If she concludes he is NPD based upon data collected in the couples counseling session, it can erode trust if your husband perceives that the therapist is discussing him in such detail without him present. If she's telling you she wants to keep him in therapy working on those things as long as possible before she tells him he has NPD so that they could have a trust built up enough that he'd believe her and then treat that, it sound manipulating and like she is taking sides. Your situation sounds horrible, and I'm sure he's as difficult as you describe. He may indeed have a personality disorder. But NPD is an incredibility complex and emotionally loaded psychiatric diagnosis. My suggestion is to be careful in accepting diagnostic conclusions from a therapist who gives you secret clinical conclusions on another person, especially when there is an assumption of confidentiality.

oh, I had forgotten about the gas drops! Those were life savers :) Congrats Mommy for staying sane in tough times!

Yes, please get help. Go to the emergency room tonight if necessary. Making suicidal threats on an anonymous forum is really troubling and alarming. Hopefully the moderators can intervene somehow. So scary!

In Alaska there is about one person per square mile. Y'all can always move to Barrow! :)

Your bishop, who knows you and your situation, would have the most insight. I hope things work out for you and your family. Drinking and smoking won't help, but it sounds like you know that already. Keep strong and keep faith.

Abusive and hurtful behaviors are not symptoms of ADHD. However, some medications used in ADHD can trigger or exacerbate agitation (stimulants). He should talk with his psychiatrist about these symptoms. Regardless of the diagnosis, he sounds dangerous.

Maybe have a back up support person that you can turn to for help when husband is not around. It's easy to get psychotic when baby is crying nonstop, especially if she is not easily soothed at this point. Have one or two friends on stand-by, so they can take over if needed. Isolation, crying babies, new mommyhood...very stressful combination. Keep your spirits up -- you're doing awesome!

Great advice. NAMI is active in my area, and I know many who find their resources helpful and supportive. You might also talk with your psychiatrist about your concerns. S/he might know of other support groups or peer-to-peer resources that could get you more networked. Congrats on reaching out and getting help.

I use my iPad every day -- truly a life changer! At work I can show patients app info on a large screen. Easy to read and fun. Out and about with the kiddos I can toss the iPad their way if needed. Makes time fly, and the screen is big enough to share. Any book I want is available. Plus all the movies, music, apps.... No contest!

An LDS sacrament meeting is pretty much the bizarro Catholic Mass. You are smart to do lots of reading about LDS services before actually going for the first time so you're not confused or put off.

Maybe a good place to start is getting some friends? I don't know any guy/husband who'd want to be their lady's only social contact. Staying in bed and crying for hours may be dramatic, but it won't make him pay more attention to you -- it may have the opposite effect. Also, if counseling is a passive way to get him to pay more attention to you, or to get the therapist to take your side and plead your case to him, it will backfire for sure. If you are that sensitive to rejection, life will be pretty difficult, especially when baby grows up. What about for every minute you spend mentally critiquing him, spend five looking at yourself and the role you play in the marital dynamics? The alternative is to dwell in righteous anger all the way to divorce court.

I just ordered this book on Amazon.com -- and I'm celebrating my 11 year anniversary this Sunday!

Be her friend, for sure. If the Holy Spirit was drawing you near to her, what a great blessing for both of you. Just avoid any reference to what you heard/saw snooping at the support group that night. And especially since you don't know this woman very well, don't share anything about your husband's addiction that you don't want shared with the entire ward. Maybe the Leader of your tiny support group can meet with you 1:1 for a few weeks while the group is growing. She is the one committed to privacy and can offer experienced strength and coping skills.

What about it? Are you asking if it is a faulty, uncinscientific theoretical model? Is it good/bad to have beliefs/behaviors outlined in the model?

Awesome decision. There are sadly few things in life we can do with 100%, no doubt, absolute certainty that we're doing the right thing. For you, forgetting that evening ever took place is one of those things -- no downside, everyone wins! Keep going to your group and sharing your hope, strength, and experience. And wear a blindfold and noise-filtering headphones next time you have wanderlust on group night :)

Private phone conversations are one thing, but chatting/IM/facebook-ish things make really nervous. How often do you hear about private information getting out, no matter how careful the senders are? For me, I'd be most concerned about accidentally texting sexual information to the wrong person. One wrong digit entered or one scroll entry off, and my info is sent to my coworker, insurance agent, or favorite restaurant. I'm paranoid about modern technology, though :)

Quick advice: Forget what you heard and saw. These support groups are private for a reason. Listening in on a closed discussion breaks confidentiality and could be devastating for anyone involved (participants, family, group leaders...) As tempting as it is to use privileged information as a way to comfort your friend, don't do it. You took something that didn't belong to you -- private group therapy information. Imagine if your doctor shared your history with your neighbor, or your Bishop talked with your in-laws -- there is an assumption of privacy and confidentiality in those settings. Lives are truly at stake -- people are sometimes suicidal, or considering divorce, or risking their health due to pornography addiction. Be a friend to your Visiting Teacher because you have a big heart, not because you have gossip to share.

I had a couple of "hot button" questions during my baptismal interview last year. I cried like a baby in parts. Luckily the interviewer wasn't a green 19 year old missionary. He was older with much experience, and nothing shocked him -- he was reassuring and as non-judgmental as I could want. It is so sad to hear how upsetting the interview was. You have worked so hard in the gospel so far, it may just be the Great Deceiver trying to inflict shame and anxiety at the last minute. A more experienced interviewer may help to reassure you -- they've heard it all before. Keep the faith and keep talking about your feelings. You'll be posting pictures of yourself in a white jumpsuit before you know it!

What's really interesting/sad is the torturous life of the author, Mary Shelly. By the time she was 25 years old, three of her four children died and her husband drowned. She was treated for severe mental illness and ultimately she died of a brain tumor. She wrote Frankenstein after the death of her first daughter (premie). She would reportedly dream that her baby didn't actually die -- she was only cold, and rubbing the baby brought her back to life. This was the supposed inspiration for Frankenstein. Heartbreaking.

At Relief Society today a presented talked about the Church's Sexual Addiction support group for wives/those affected by someone's sexual addiction. Perhaps there is an LDS support group you can attend? The message the presenter kept returning to is how another's addiction (sexual, drug...) is not something you can control. Your efforts might instead focus on you, into codepdenency, and other changes we can make in ourselves rather than policing another and/or making ultimatums. My heart goes out to you and your family -- tough times for sure!

Hi, I'm Alaskan, too. It's a great LDS community up here. Welcome to the site!

Speaking of anti-mormon, today I tried to register in a Baptist internet forum, much like this one, so I could lurk and read other points of view. Registration was described as available to "all Christian denominations." However, my registration got rejected outright on the basis that the forum was for "Christians only" (I registered as LDS). Sad.