Martain

Steps to Repentance: Acknowledgement Godly Sorrow Confession Forsaking Restitution I'm glad that you've confessed both before God as well as a Judge in Israel =). Yet I hope you have not forgotten the step of restitution. Our best is good enough for the Lord. Have you done your best to repair all the injuries your actions have caused in the lives of others (Mosiah 27:35)? Also, some food for thought - D&C 64:10 I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men. 2 Nephi 25:29 And now behold, I say unto you that the right way is to believe in Christ, and deny him not; and Christ is the Holy One of Israel; wherefore ye must bow down before him, and worship him with all your might, mind, and strength, and your whole soul; and if ye do this ye shall in nowise be cast out. D&C 64:22 And after that day, I, the Lord, will not hold any guilty that shall go with an open heart up to the land of Zion; for I, the Lord, require the hearts of the children of men. The Lord requires our whole soul as an offering and all of our heart. He also requires that we forgive all. Can the atonement function completely within a repentant sinner's soul if they refuse to forgive someone or only offer a portion of their heart and soul? Considering the severity of your past sins (Alma 39:5), is that something you want to chance? Also, Luke 15:7 I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance. Welcome back brother!

Can we obtain a place in the Celestial Kingdom without being married in a temple? Yes. D&C 132: 15-17 Can we obtain the highest degree of Glory without being married in a temple? No. D&C 131: 1-4 Do we have to be sealed in marriage to be exalted? Yes. D&C 132:17 Hope this helps =)

I wouldn't mind clarification of this. Just how does it destroy lives and families and exactly how is it harmful? Although we continually try to prove Him wrong, wickedness really never was happiness (Alma 41:10). I tried it in my own life and thought I was happy but in retrospect I was not. Think of a blind man who had never seen the beauty and splendor of the world around us with all the vibrancy of color and hues. Think of a deaf man who has never reveled in delight at the sound of wholesome music. Could such men be content having no understanding of what they're missing? Being able to see and being able to hear, would you be content to live a life where you no longer had these senses? Having enjoyed them so far, would you be happy without them? A servant of the King leaves the safty of the city walls and is captured by the king's enemies who torture him with brands of molten iron inflicting harm until he dies. Those who practice homosexuality harm themselves by becoming blind and deaf through self-inflicted wounds of sin. These wounds are like molten iron brands which inflict harm upon the soul until it spiritually dies. Those who practice homosexuality destroy the quality of their life here and in the next by removing themselves from the Light, cutting themselves off from God and his love for them so as to walk in darkness. Those who practice homosexuality destroy their families by cutting themselves off from those they love in the eternities and often here as well. They also sacrifice the family they otherwise would have created and all the blessings of joy and love that they otherwise would have enjoyed. The King is God who in love has set up walls to protect us called commandments. The enemy is Satan who entices us to leave the protection of the walls under the lie that there is no danger in doing so. How can a man navigate the storm and see the light of the lighthouse guiding away from rocks and impending doom if has no sight? How can a sheep follow the cry of the shephard towards saftey if it can not hear? How can a man avoid falling into a staked pit placed in front of him if he is blind? Though the King warns him how can a man be lead to saftey who is deaf? The marriage relationship and the family is eternal in nature 1. Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God 2. Marriage and Children are good and bring joy and happiness 3. Without the blessings of Temple Sealings validated by the Holy Ghost, no family connection will exist beyond the grave 4. When ever we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience 5. The fruit of the Spirit is joy 6. Eternal Life is to live have the kind of life that God has and, with our loved ones, live with him 7. No unclean thing can dwell in Heaven or in the presence of God 8. When we sin we cut ourselves off from the Spirit of the Lord 9. Homosexuality is a sin 10. As we sin and fail to repent, we are lead into even further sin and wickedness 11. The wages of sin is death 12. Those who do not repent of their sin must suffer for their sin themselves 13. The attitude of the Church towards Gays/Lesbians has always been the same. We know that the greatest blessings and joys in this life and in the next can only be obtained through marriage in the temple between a man and a woman and we deeply desire that all receive these blessings. We ask nothing of them that we do not ask of all. We know that wickedness never was happiness (Alma 41:10). We love them and want them to be happy and because of this we invite them continually to repent and come unto Christ for healing. And, again, I say unto you, that whoso having knowledge, have I not commanded to repent? Yea, verily I say unto you, if ye will come unto me ye shall have eternal life. Behold, mine arm of mercy is extended towards you, and whosoever will come, him will I receive; and blessed are those who come unto me. Will ye not now return unto me, and repent of your sins, and be converted, that I may heal you? References: 1. D&C 132:15-20 2. Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:3-6, D&C 49:15 3. Moses 3:18, Ecclesiastes 9:9, Hebrews 13:4, Psalms 127:3-5 4. D&C 132:7 5. D&C 130:20-21 6. Galations 5:22, D&C 11:13 7. John 17:3, D&C 132:24, D&C 88:4 8. 1 Nephi 15:34, Alma 11:37, Ephesians 5:5 9. 2 Nephi 33:2, Jacob 6:8, Alma 40:13, Helaman 4:24, D&C 63:32, D&C 95:12 10. Leviticus 18:12, Leviticus 20:13, Romans 1:26-27, Jude 1:7 11. Helaman 6:31, 2 Nephi 28:21-22 12. Romans 6:23, Mosiah 2:33 13. D&C 19:15-20

Brother Ray, I expect you and I have felt the same and can understand each other. Will those who have had a fullness of opportunities to enter into the covenant of marriage in this life and refused to take advantage of them have the opportunity to receive it in the next? We know that it is possible to procrastinate the day of our repentance until it is everlastingly too late. Why should it not likewise be possible to procrastinate marriage until it is everlastingly too late as well? Fortunately for all, it is the Lord who determines what qualifies as a fullness of opportunities. Fortunately for all, in addition to Justice, he is also the personification of Mercy. Though I am still much younger I too have grown concerned regarding my own state. I was concerned that perhaps I'd already had a fullness of opportunity to enter into marriage and that were I to die that day I would have eternally forfieted the blessings of marriage. It was very comforting when the spirit testified that no, I had not received such fullness of opportunies and that were I to die, I would still have the blessing of persuing the righteous desire for marriage. In regards to your other questions, I refer you to the responses from the Apostles in our day found in the LDS.NEWS room here as I feel that their responses will answer quite a few of them.

The answer as to why Gays/Lesbians want to be members of the Church has a wide variety of answers. To break it down though, there are two categories of such individuals in the question above. There are those who unrepentant have no desire to change and or are unwilling to do so and those who being repentant desire to change and are willing to do so. To which were you inquiring to in the above question?

An Alchoholic receives the Gospel and desires Baptism. Then they are taught the Word of Wisdom and abstinance from alcoholic consumption. The Alcoholic states that they will not give up drinking alcohol and demands to be accepted anyways. They state that their body likes it so it's only natural. That what they do with their body is nobody else's business. That this is just who they are and that the reports of both immediate and long term consequences are incorrect and misreported. That a loving God would accept them anyways and not require that they change. Should an Alcoholic be offended that we do not allow them to bring alcohol into our homes? No. Should an Alcoholic be offended that we do not accept their alcoholism as part of who they are? No. Is the commandment any different for them than for us? No, all members are required to obey the Word of Wisdom. Although we don't tolerate or look upon the alcohol with allowance, do we still love the individual? Yes. Is this individual welcome to come and worship with us? Yes. Are we still friendly and welcoming to the individual? Yes. We know that the Lord has revealed that drinking alcohol is not good for us. Out of love he has commanded us to abstain from the consumption of alcohol. We know that alcohol is addicting and harmful to the consumer. We know that it destroys lives and families. We know that there are many blessings that can only be obtained through obedience to this and the other commandments of God. Is the Church friendly to Alcoholics? Yes. Likewise we can speak to Gays/Lesbians. A Gay/Lesbian receives the Gospel and desires Baptism. Then they are taught the Law of Chastity and abstinence from all sexual relations prior to marriage. The Gay/Lesbian states that they will not give up their unchaste behavior and demands to be accepted anyways. They state that their body likes it so it's only natural. That what they do with their body is nobody else's business. That this is just who they are and that the reports of both immediate and long term consequences are incorrect and misreported. That a loving God would accept them anyways and not require that they change. Should a Gay/Lesbian be offended that we do not accept such behavior into our homes? No. Should a Gay/Lesbian be offended that we do not accept such behavior as part of who they are? No. Is the commandment any different for them than for us? No, all members are required to obey the Law of Chastity. Although we don't tolerate or look upon homosexuality with allowance, do we still love the individual? Yes. Is this individual welcome to come and worship with us? Yes. Are we still friendly and welcoming to the individual? Yes. We know that the Lord has revealed that homosexual relations is not good for us. Out of love he has commanded all of us to abstain from engaging in homosexual relations. We know that homosexuality is addicting and harmful to the practitioner. We know that it destroys lives and families. We know that there are many blessings that can only be obtained through obedience to this and the other commandments of God. Is the Church friendly to The Church views homosexuality in the same way it views alcoholism in that both are sins, both can be overcome by the power of the Atonement through sincere repentance and while obedience to these laws brings happiness, disobedience brings misery. All of us have weaknesses upon which the Adversary capitalizes in order to tempt us. Yet the promise is the same to all. The attitude of the Church towards Gays/Lesbians has always been the same. We know that the greatest blessings and joys in this life and in the next can only be obtained through marriage in the temple between a man and a woman and we deeply desire that all receive these blessings. We ask nothing of them that we do not ask of all. We know that wickedness never was happiness (Alma 41:10). We love them and want them to be happy and because of this we invite them continually to repent and come unto Christ for healing.

I could see why you're confused. Definitions courtesy of Bible Dictionary Israel 1. The man Jacob 2. The literal descendants of Jacob 3. The true believers in Christ, regardless of their geographical location Gentile 1. The descendants of Japheth 2. People of non-Israelite lineage 3. Nations that are without the gospel, even though there may be some Israelite blood therein. From a LDS perspective, LDS are of Israel due to definition 3 as well as defnition 2 either by birth or by adoption. I've never heard the term Spiritual Israel but I expect that this is Ram's way of differentiating between the 3rd definitions. Genetics is an issue since certain blessings flow through specific bloodlines. Genetics isn't an issue in that even if someone had no Israelite inheritance, they are adopted into the tree of Israel through Baptism/Confirmation with specific tribe/blessings being revealed during that individual's Patriarchal Blessing. The promises made to Abraham, as far as his seed, is to all who are his literal descendants as well as those who are adopted 'grafted' in. I understand that we believe that for any one individual to receive the fullness of these blessings, in their own life, it requires acceptance and adhearance to the Gospel of Jesus Christ and membership in the Lord's Church. I hope this helps =)

I did research on all those "no calorie" and "sugar-free" artificial sweeteners they add to soda. What I learned instilled a very strong desire never to put them in my body. The least of these reasons? They have a known side effect of actually promoting weight gain. I've met individuals who simply by switching to regular soda, lost a lot of weight. It's hard to argue with their results. One individual I know, my grandfather, simply by removing such sweeteners from his life had multiple serious medical issues resolve themselves. Ultimately weather or not someone believes the research depends on that individual. First of course you have to actually read the research. Leaving the high fructose corn syrup debate aside, while I seldom drink soda, this is always my choice. I'm confident its the better one too =).

Outside of getting direct revelation from the Lord regarding your questions, I can't think of anyone better to answer your questions than the Prophets. I've asked myself a similar question regarding member/nonmember dating/marriage and then wondered what guidance and council the scriptures and prophets have given on the subjects. While the following links are not a comprehensive list of all the guidance and council we've been given, I've gathered the following talks and quotes for you. The Importance of Celestial Marriage - President Spencer W. Kimball, October 1979 Ensign Eternal Marriage Student Manual - Specifically the sections on Mate Selection, Birth Control, and Women's Divine Roles and Responsibilities Wouldn't it be alright to date nonmembers? I pray that you'll read these links and find the answers you're seeking for =).

I did see the potential for someone to misinterpret your words but I knew you did not mean it that way. I hope I didn't offend you Gaust, but if I did, please forgive me =).

Having personally found out how volatile a topic this is, I've learned to mostly keep my opinion to myself. There's something about this topic and the invariable debate that follows... responses are very... uncompromising and intolerant of the other's view. Having heard Anne's statements and having read many an article for and against, I'll say this. I don't know. Those of us who are Latter-day Saints know that the Holy Ghost testifies of truth. I hear many individuals testify on one side or the other of this topic citing education, research, etc. etc. but not one ever citing the Spirit of God. Why is that? I know why I do not testify in this manner and it is because I have not received such a witness either way. If I did, I would share it with you. If another did, their witness would hold more weight with me than any expert or study someone might cite. Why doesn't anyone else testify? Has anyone here received a witness either way? Since we don't want contention, is there no better way to achieve unity of heart? Please, before we dispute further on this subject, couldn't we all take this issue to the Lord for an answer one way or the other and then bring that back instead? I will and until I receive an answer, should anyone in the future ask my thoughts, I'll honestly declare, "I don't know".

Oh please don't let anyone misinterpret Guast's comment in thinking that by putting off repentance they can mitigate the eventual cost to do so! Oh please don't let anyone think that by waiting a few years before confessing, in hopes of avoiding possible consequences, will save them suffering in the end! It is the desire and intent of the Adversary that men should procrastinate their repentance. He knows that the longer full repentance is put it off the more likely it will never occur! Not to mention the increased difficulty and cost to repent that would come from not only the increase number of offenses but also the increased diversity as well! I hope no LDS member is so unclear as to the doctrine of repentance as to be ignorant that for sexual sins of this nature, confession to their Bishop is both critical and necessary. Having made and then broken covenants, they can not complete the repentance process without this step. My dear confused Brother, Have you repented? How can the Holy Ghost guide you properly while you remain in this state of sin? Yes, a LDS member who has committed those sins which are second only to the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost, can then, being devoid of the Spirit, without full repentance, potentially remain faithful for years. Then again I also potentially have the chance of winning Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes as well. The truth is that the vast majority of those who pursue this route will fall into more and more sin as well as either inactivity or apostasy and in the end, suffer far greater than they otherwise ever would have had they not procrastinated the day of their repentance. May God grant that even then such individuals will be lead to repentance in this life rather than procrastinating their repentance until it is everlastingly to late. Again I also promise you, that by repenting and confessing to your Bishop, you will receive the guidance needed to properly handle the situation with your Ex in the sight of God. Brother, in the name of our Savior Jesus Christ, I invite you, plead with you and even beg you. Will you not repent?

Seeds/Grains - Enzyme Inhibitors Before using most seeds/grains/legumes it is best to soak them for a set period of time. By doing so the enzyme inhibitors that give seeds/grains/legumes such a long shelf life are removed as they start their growth processes. By getting rid of the enzyme inhibitors first, you increase the bio-availability of the nutrients and the ease by which your body processes seeds/grains/legumes. The basic premise: It's easier for the body's own enzymatic activity to function if you're not feeding it enzyme inhibitors at the same time. I don't know how practical this would actually be in real life application over a long period of time but... hopefully useful information all the same.

My sister was born Autistic and also had a couple of serious food allergies. In her search for ways to help my sister my step-mother was lead to something called NAET (Nambudripad's Allergy Elimination Techniques). That she would consider such a thing surprised me. She asked if I wanted to come for sessions too but I, the alternative/natural health advocate declined. At least that was until she came home with a story I just couldn't ignore. While taking my sister to a NAET session, she told me she spoke with and met a mother who was there with her young son. This mother spoke of how her son had at one time been so severely allergic to eggs that the consumption of it as an ingredient would cause anaphylactic shock. This meant his throat would constrict so severely as to cut off his ability to breath. This mother continue to testify how through NAET her son's allergies had been completely eliminated and now he consumed eggs all the time freely and with great pleasure. I went down into my room and closed the door and began to pray. Knowing that a thing is either inspired by God or by the Devil I sought to know who was behind the bringing forth of NAET and expressed my hope that it was of God and that I might use it in regards to my own search for better health and healing. I expressed that if it was of God I would testify of it to others as well. I then put my hands out in front of me and said on this hand it's of God and on this hand it's of the Devil. In that manner I went back and forth between my hands. After doing so a few times I felt the spirit burn in my bosom regarding the hand which indicated it was of God. In such a manner I gained a witness through the spirit that not only does this technique work but that the inspiration behind it was given by God for our benefit. Hearing your woe regarding what to me appears to be allergic reactions to various chemicals, I immediately remembered my promise and felt to testify of my knowledge of it. I offer you this testimony with confidence that should you pursue such a path you will receive your desire of being able to worship with the Saints.

Who stands under greater condemnation? A non-member who drinks coffee A LDS member who drinks coffee It is not morally wrong for a non-member to drink coffee. Addicting? Yes. Immoral? No. The reason it is immoral for a LDS member to drink coffee is because we've covenanted not to. Whose stands under greater condemnation? A non-member who has pre-marital sex An endowed LDS member who has pre-marital sex When we sin we grant the Adversary power over us. Who stands under greater condemnation? A non-endowed LDS member who comits sin "A" A endowed LDS member who also comits sin "A" Having brought forth fruit meet of repentance, were you to fall into and embrace these sins again, it would be better that it happen before you are endowed. For an example of the increased severity that comes with breaking covenants I refer you to D&C 106. I write all these things to try and explain my understanding as to why you now wait. Until a Bishop has felt through the spirit that the repentant sinner is both read and worthy to take out these covenants, for their own protection, it is better that he have you wait then allow you to prematurely take out these covenants only to afterwards fall back into sin. Brother, I feel for your desire to enter the temple for I once stood where you stand now. Continue to be faithful and patient and you will get there. If nothing else, take this as an opportunity to show your willingness and faithfulness in upholding your priesthood leaders =). Also, might I recommend further work on the readiness? The temple preparation courses would be a good place to start and reading books on the temple like "The Holy Temple" by Boyd K. Paker and "The House of the Lord" by James E. Talmage would be wonderful as well.

I know someone who had to endure something so horrific and so hellish that they plead to God that if relief could be afforded no other way that they be allowed to die instead of continue to suffer. Unless I were to experience what Job experienced, I do not think I would be right to judge Job harshly for his lamentations. I expect that all of us would cry similarly. The fact alone that he persevered through such trials enduring to the end would in my mind be validation of him being worthy of some of the praise you have heard. Index to the triple combination - MURMUR, MURMURING see also Complain; Contention; Disobedience; Disputations; Dissension; Hardheartedness; Rebel. I don't feel his cries were murmuring.

My dear confused and concerned friend, As concerned as I am regarding her I am also very concerned regarding you. I see your fear of punishment as preventing you from repentance. Please understand that you are being decieved. You do not understand the blessings you are forfieting. You do not understand how much power over you this gives the Adversary. I wish I could unfold to you the true cost of your unrepentance. If I could you would not walk but would run to your Bishop. In your search for what you should do I refer you to read D&C 104 & 19. I ask you brother, won't you repent? Won't you confess your sins? I testify to you from the bottom of my soul that the Atonement is real. Won't you let him heal you? Jesus Christ is your redeemer. I know he lives and he loves you oh so very much. Please, won't you repent? I'm convinced that in doing so you will find the answers you seek as to what to do with her. Though you might find it a bit sharp, 3 Nephi 14:3-5 came to mind just now and I offer it for your pondering.

I too would at least offer =) he could decline but I would feel right in paying for it were I in your shoes.

Another good question to ask yourself in this situation would be: If your positions were reversed, what would you want her to do? If I were in her shoes but had already confessed and was repentant, then you talking to my bishop wouldn't make any difference. If I were in her shoes but had not confessed and was not repentant, then you talking to my bishop would make a huge difference. Although in the latter I wouldn't appreciate it at the time, should I then confess and repent I would later be prayerfully thankful that you spoke up so that I did not continue to commit such sins and procrastinate my repentance.

Why don't you ask your bishop? If you haven't confessed this to him already I beg you to do so. While visiting with him explain what's going on with her and ask him whether or not you should tell her bishop. Personally if I were in your shoes I would indeed tell her bishop but I'd wait until closer to the marriage. I wouldn't do this out of vindictiveness but because I would want to give her as much time as possible to confess and repent on her own. Once it got near the wedding I would call her bishop and ask him what he wanted. "Bishop _______? I'm _______ in the ______ ward and I recently broke the law of chastity multiple times with someone in your ward but don't know what I should do. I don't know if I should tell you who she is or simply remain silent in hopes that she's already visited with you. What should I do?" Hope this helps =S

One of my first thoughts was whether or not any of the medications you're taking have known listed side effects of fatigue. A little online research or a visit to your pharmacist should be enough to rule that one out. You mention Lupus, Anemia, Depression and now moderate to extreme fatigue. This struck a note with something I've learned recently and I offer it as a possible avenue to pursue or at least rule out in your search for healing and relief. It could be that you have a Vitamin B deficiency misdiagnosed as Lupus. If could be that you have Lupus as well as an undiagnosed Vitamin B deficiency. It could be that you have Lupus and no Vitamin B deficiency. Lupus or a Vitamin B deficiency as well as a combination of both could explain your depression and current fatigue. Wouldn't it be worth ruling Vitamin B out as a contributing factor? Especially considering how easy it is to treat a Vitamin B deficiency? If this is an avenue you wish to consider, I recommend the book "Could It Be B12? -An Epidemic of Misdiagnoses" Sally M. Pacholok, R.N. Jeffrey J. Stuart, D.O.

Though Adam and Eve did not behold the Lord, for they were shut out from his presence, they never the less were able to hear him when he spoke to them. Though the Apostles had Jesus standing in their midst, they did not behold him. Thus though Satan has been cast out of the presence of the Lord, it is still possible for the Lord to speak to him should he choose to do so. Thus even though the Lord may choose speak with him, it does not require that he show himself to Satan. I present myself to the Lord all the time. I do it when I pray and I do it when I go to the temple. Perhaps it was the same then as well. Perhaps the children of God were presenting themselves before the Lord at his temple to offer sacrifices. In reading that verse, in light of what I understand from other scriptures, I can't conclude that Satan beheld the Lord. I hope this helps =)

I found it both funny and ironic that the first responses returned under a LDS.org keyword search of "bar" were the following: Bar-Jona Raising the Bar Bar-Jesus Bar - Triple Index Champion of the Monkey Bars Bar - Bible Dictionary Candy Bar Candy Bar Bar-Jona Frozen Orange Bars I definitely have some definitive feelings on the subject above regarding the patronizing of bars/casino's. I even had a quote or two from the prophets... which I frustratingly can't find at this current time. While I would prefer to patron an establishment that does not sell or promote either, to me there is a vast difference from a place which exists to sell food and sells alcohol on the side and a place that exists to sell alcohol and sells food on the side. As a Mormon guy, even if I liked sports, I wouldn't go to a sports bar. There are certain things that offend the Spirit of the Lord and cause it to withdraw. Many such things can be found in a bar. I desire that those same things would offend me and cause me to withdraw as well. Why should I make myself welcome at an establishment whose purpose and existence is to promote a behavior in direct opposition to the plan of he who I call master? I've been told to stand in Holy Places and be not removed from them. Personally, even if no alcohol is consumed and no gambling performed, I see patronizing a bar or casino as running counter to such guidance. I've been told to live in but not of the world. Personally, even if no alcohol is consumed and no gambling performed, I see patronizing a bar or casino as running counter to such guidance. I understand that others will see these things differently than me and accept that. Rather than seeing how close to the temptation and line I can go without going over, I'd prefer to stay as far away from it as I possibly can. To me, a bar or casino is enemy territory. Going into a bar or casino seems just as wise as a soldier jumping out of a fox hole into the line of fire expecting to miraculously not get shot at. Even if you don't agree with me, I hope you'll no longer feel sad that someone wasn't there for a friend because they refused to enter a bar.

Not being married myself, this makes me wonder what type of similar issues I might run into once I am. It sounds like you and your wife need to sit down in council and decide how you will deal with such situations both now and in the future before it happens again. I don't know how applicable it will be nor whether or not it will actually work in practice but should I run into such situations I have a plan I'd like to try. Before it becomes an issue I hope to sit down with my future wife and discuss lending/donating family funds. Knowing how volatile financial situations can be I'll see if we can't agree ahead of time on a course of action. My plan is to say that such decisions must be made unanimously. That should one of us feel uncomfortable, the other will respect such feelings. How do we know but that such feelings of discomfort are guidance from the Lord? We would agree ahead of time that at that point it would be best for both to seek the Lord for guidance as to what should be done but that ultimately it is up to the one wanting to give to receive such guidance. Should such be obtained they would then wait patiently for the other to receive it. I recognize that it doesn't matter whether or not the Lord witnesses to me that it would be good for me to marry a specific individual if she doesn't receive the same in return for me. If she either unwilling to try to get such an answer or doesn't get such an answer, the answer is still no. Likewise we'd agree in advance that should the individual uncomfortable with the loan/charity not receive similar confirmation then out of respect, the decision is still no. Of course there would be exceptions and we'd try to spell some of them out in advance. Of course we'd know that the plan wouldn't work for every situation and that it wouldn't always apply. Of course I expect that there would probably be some changes made over the years as experience teaches us how best to make such things work but I'm hoping that if I take such a course perhaps I can prevent myself from going through what you're going through. What do others thing? Do you think such an approach would be a workable solution?

Sometimes a decision like you mention may be a very hard one to make. I know that when I marry I want my wife to be a full time stay at home mom with me providing fully for my family needs. Yet I too want to spend time with my family and wouldn't want to be separated from them too long or too often. In situations like this I'm glad for Prayer and answers. It seems to me there are situations where the right answer could be on either side of the situation. Sometimes it may even be a third option of decreasing lifestyle costs instead. Ultimately on this one I think we need to rely on personal guidance through the spirit as each situation will be unique.