trubludru

Hmm, I saw an article the other day that said people such as parents are one of the major factors in the trend to delay marriage. Mainly because they don't want their kids to rush into something as big as maarriage before they are ready. I understand that logic and concern of that, I had a failed marriage, (but I'm not sure another few months of dating would have prevented it I knew my ex about 8 or 9 months before we were married). I would add to the caution to make sure you aren't rushing things...sometimes a relationship is great the first month or two because it is new and exciting but then it goes down hill for whatever reason. Some more advice would be to ask the question if there is anything wrong with dating another month or two. just to make sure that you aren't basing your decisions on the hormonal/emotional high you are likely to be on right now. Just understand that when you are married to each other you should be largely indepent from both your parents in most ways and have plans in place to address finishing educations or getting long-term work and careers. Don't just trust that everything will work out if you haven't thought out these sorts of things. However, I will say that if do feel really good about the relationship and not just the heady emotional/hormonal high sort of way, there is nothing wrong with trying to progress the relationship. I don't know what your exact family situation or financial status is, just make sure you really have thought and talked your way through things more than a vague idea that you will be able to pay rent and go to school and buy food by getting that ideal job....because that may not happen. You may both have to work crappy jobs with terrible hours and may not see each other very much for awhile to make ends meet or get your education finished. Again, just make sure you have really thought about those sorts of things. I imagine these are the sorts of concerns your family has.

I have had several local church leaders who asked that the men and boys wear white shirts if possible. I wouldn't characterize them as contentious though. For the young men it was presented generally as a part of dressing in a respectful non-distracting manner while administering the Sacrament. And for older men as an example to the young men.

Robot Chicken had the best sketch of a conversation between Vader and Luke, after their fight at Cloud City, with all the Star Wars spoilers. Darth Vader: Luke... I am your father! Luke Skywalker: Noooo! That's impossible! Darth Vader: It's true! And Princess Leia is your sister! Luke Skywalker: That's... improbable. Darth Vader: And the Empire will be defeated by Ewoks! Luke Skywalker: That's... highly unlikely... Darth Vader: And as a kid, I built C-3PO! Luke Skywalker: ...wha? [time passes] Darth Vader: And you know that all-powerful Force? That's really just microscopic bacteria called Midichlorians! Luke Skywalker:Look, if you're not gonna take this seriously, I'm outta here!

And it the precedent is if there is any questionable actions at all discovered by head CIA officials, that they resign. There job is too delicate to have any chance of being blackmailed or compromised although the timing was strangely suspicious in this case.

It is blatantly obvious to me that a cover up is going on. If you look at the timeline and actions and things said by Pres. Obama, Sec. of State Clinton and the white house press secretary it is clear that the administration suppressed the truth on Benghazi and the sad thing is few media outlets cared to cover or investigate what was an obvious story.

I have to disagree on a number of points....some of the most notable flaws in LOTR is the use of body doubles for hobbits and the reliance on more and more CGI towards the end of the trilogy that looks faker and faker. Fellowship used less CGI and more sets and feels more realistic and led to the producers and directors making less stupid choices with the story, unlike ROTK. Even the small things like Denethor running apparently several hundred yards while ablaze - possible because of that dang CGI. Not saying that they could have made the movies without CGI and body doubles but..... And I believe Sky Captain is known more for its visuals rather than the performance of its actors or story (no matter how good its actors are in other films. Same thing with Avatar...the only really great thing about that movie is the visuals....the story and acting were nothing special, IMO a very higly overrated film. This flaw is even more pronounced by Lucas in I-III films - just throw a lot of crazy visuals in and you will dazzle the audience, nevermind the lame storyline with poorly directed actors. And you prove my point in III, the best parts were the live action of Hayden and Ewan going at it indoors in the conference room (which I give full credit to), but then that is completely ruined by the horrible aftertaste of the ridiculous CGI lava scene. Finished with "I have the high ground" - when did that matter in the rest of the fight? And Obi-Wan also turning into a complete tool and leaving his protege to slowly burn at the edge of the lava. And I and most old school (IV-VI) SW fans I know or have met had very little emotional attachment to Anakin or any of the characters by the time that scene arrived....I just wanted the ridiculous story to end. Movies in 5 seconds on youtube tells the story just as good and without wasting as much of my time. Anakin (in flat monotone): "I'm good." Sidious: "Not you're not." Anakin: "Ok." No offense intended in my remarks, I'm just trying to tell it how most fans who grew up on IV-VI see I-III. We will never see very many redeeming qualities in I-III no matter how much cool EU stuff is tied to them, becase as some else stated they contradict or diminish most of the stuff that made IV-VI good.

I believe you meant Yoda looked liked Pres. Kimball.... IMO the biggest problem with I-III besides the crappy writing was the reliance on CGI in almost every scene. I'm sure that led to some of the poor acting...it has got to be tough to shoot an entire movie in front of a green screen. Best lightsaber fight in series Qui-Gonn and Obi-Wan vs. Darth Maul real actors real action = win. Worst lightsaber fight = Obi-Wan vs Anakin in episode III, half of it was CGI. I'll take awkward slow Old Obi-Wan vs Vader on the Death Star vs some ridiculous CGI scene of guys fighting in the middle of lava and not getting burned to a crisp......

Very unlikely a young single man would be called to be Bishop of a singles ward....it is possible but I am very skeptical. I would say said man is trying to put one over on your friend. As a branch president in an area with few members or possibly as a counselor in the Bishopric I'd find believable but in an area that is established with enough members to have a seperate singles ward, I'm not buying that he is the Bishop. Added: I do have a bro-in-law who was a counselor in his married student ward at about age 25 or 26. But I still think the scenario as described is highly unlikely.

Just to play devil's advocate, on this comment. Part of the problem in some relatonships or cultures may be women want men to be noble or areal man but then get upset when we aren't doing it right. See Cliff Huxtable trying to be the good man and fix things around the house and Clair not being comfortable letting him do it his way. So men can end up in situations where they are trying to do good things and be a good man but get told so often they are doing it wrong...not necessairily because they are wrong but because they are doing it different than a women would. So isn't there a certain logic to flaking out and not do anything because why go through the effort to try and do something if you are going to get criticized either way? Like I said, just playing devil's advocate.

I can relate, unfortunately or fortunately (at least I wasn't married long enough to have kids) my now ex-wife wanted to check out of the marriage after only a month or two when (among other things) reality hit that marriage requires work, doing things you might find difficult on occasion and forgiving each other. I remember a few times she had some similar sort of prayers of wanting to know what she should do. I found it hurt a lot as well even more so because she ultimately decided that she in fact didn't really love me, tried to blame me for everything that went wrong and moved out to live with her bff. I'm pretty sure that isn't the answer that God gave her or the action he wanted her to take. Like you said...what should be done was decided when you choose to get married, and expectting a miraculous sign of some sort to tell you to fix your marriage is immature and bush league. So I hope your wife comes around, it is a miserable situation to be in, especially if you are putting forth all your effort to having a good marriage only to hear stuff like she isn't sure she wants to be a part of it. But I guess we all go through times when we can have doubt hopefully that is all it is and she makes the right decision. Best wishes and sympathies.

If nothing else, it does say on the recommend that when it is properly signed and endorsed then the person named may enter the house of the Lord and that the recommend is the property of the Church and is not transferable. So I don't think there is really any ambiguity it is straight up dishonest to pretend to be someone else and use their recommend or encourage someone else to pretend to be someone else and use their recommend. There is a question about being honest in your dealings with your fellow men which this situation is clearly against. Not to make light but anecdotally I have an aunt who once related a story where a member in her area lent their recommend to someone who didn't have one so they could....(wait for it)....... try out the food in the local temple cafeteria. Not sure what happened to the member that lent their recommend out (but clearly this is a stupid reason to risk violating your covenants and worthiness) but the temple workers did notice that the person who borrowed it was wandering around the temple giving themselves a tour and said they were there because they'd heard the food was great. (It doesn't seem like temple workers like people wandering the temple in general......even if you have a reccomend of your own).

Can't help myself and only in a good natured way It is the way men are, we are visual creatures and enjoy looking at women....that doesn't mean we aren't capable of learning not to gawk or stare or otherwise staying within appropriate respectful boundaries there are limits to boys will be boys (i.e. pornography is wrong any way you slice it). A well know rule of thumb known to many men who served missions as to appropriate levels of looking at a woman, "If you don't look once you aren't a man, if look twice you aren't a missionary." I think this issue is one that woman just won't understand and the facts of the matter are it really is part of what makes us men which isn't inherently bad, in fact it is probably a good thing. To perhaps put it in perspective, it is not dissimilar to men being unable to understand why women will do something like wear a pair of horrendously uncomfortable shoes for hours and complain about it but still do it because "they look cute" or "they go with my outfit". We just don't understand.

Not speaking for Skippy either, but my take. Elder Christofferson's talk focused on how society in general seems to show little or no respect for men or their potential these days. If I recall correctly gave examples such as tv sitcoms where the vast majority of men portrayed as bumbling idiots. And in education men are now being outperformed in almost every area at every level from elementary to college. Women are outperforming men in SATs, ACTs, and are getting more undergraduate and graduate college degrees. (This isn't to say it is bad women are doing well.) But society seems to be creating a situation where men and their strengths are not very highly valued and they are receiving too many messages that they won't amount to anything, can't handle responsibilities and are unnecessary in many regards and are just plain not good enough. So they don't amount to much and avoid responsibility, and end up drifting aimlessly through life not making important commitments or fulfilling their roles and responsibilites as Priesthood holders and men. Elder Christofferson sort of finished up with the idea to remember that men have divine potential as sons of God and that they have many good qualities. He gave encouragement and admonition for young men to do well in education and develop skills that will allow them to become proficient and successful in contributing to society. And that we should be encouraging men to meet their potential as brethren in Priesthood quorums, as church leaders and especially as parents and family, and not give up on those men that have suffered set backs. I sort of take it as men could use some more lifting up and positive encouragement rather then just being told they don't measure up, aren't doing good enough or that since that they failed at _____ (important thing) that they are a failure. I want to get on my soapbox as an educationally and professionally successful, active and temple recommend holding man and pontificate about the examples and problems I've observed in my own life, but I won't. There is at least a summary of the talk at the LDS church news web site.

Having once served as clerk under 2 different Bishops....I seriously doubt the Bishop or anyone else went digging through the donation summaries to figure out if she was paying the proper amount of tithing or anything along those lines. Do you notice certain patterns in tithing payment over time yes? You notice that this person who has Disney checks ususally pays once a month or this college student who works as a restaurant server tends to pay every week - in small bills. But I don't think I or any other clerk or member of the Bishopric I served with once made any observation or took notice of someone not paying, or paying less than we thought normal. Really the only time the amount paid in total for the year comes up is at tithing settlement and/or tax time of people making sure that they paid what they thought they paid. I would say it is probably some sort of misunderstanding likely colored by other events. I don't think a Bishop or multiple Bishops would bring it up outside of temple recommend interviews or tithing settlements unless it was related to some other concern. I.E. Bishop feels like member is struggling and asks them if they are making effort to have daily prayers, read scriptures, attend all church meetings, pay tithing, etc.

Yeah I suppose so - I always hear it being referenced as the best modern sci-fi series and I find mainly a soap opera that happens to be in a sci-fi setting. But I did honestly enjoy parts of it, I thought the pilot/whatever beginning 4 hour movie was quite good, and there are certain epsodes that were quite well done. But my other beef with it (spoiler alert) is the number of main characters who end up being cylons. Too many in my opionion, it was like who are we going to find out is a cylon next? And will we be surprised?

"By Grabthar's hammer, by the suns of Warvan, you shall be avenged!"

New Battlestar Galactica == way overrated in my book, too much soap opera. I'm not saying it is bad although it is too risque in parts. But I felt like the way characters acted was usually unrealistic and mainly too create "drama". Grew up on Star Trek TNG, find it enjoyable although there are some fairly cheesy episodes. Original Star Wars Trilogy without George Lucas latest attempts to "improve" them are classics. The Fifth Element seems a little peculiar the first time you watch it but it grows on you, I consider it one of the funniest sci-fi/action flick I know of. Funniest sci-fi MST I know of is "Space Mutiny" (which used footage from the original BSG show for all their space scenes). Firefly and Serenity are of course immensely enjoyable. And Farscape is worth watching even if it seems too offbeat initially. Possibly the best developed romance in sci-fi that nobody knows about is John and Aeryn. I have seen Babylon 5. The 1st season is atrocious, it seems like there are only 3 or 4 episodes worth watching due to their contribution to the overall story later on, but seasons 2-4 are enjoyable. With season 5 mostly out of place (due to rushed wrapping up of main story in season 4 due to presumed cancellation) Overall, series is a little corny but not much different than Star Trek corniness wise, and sort of a cool overall story with some epic space battles now and again. Looking at wikipedia it seems like they have a pretty loose definiton of sci-fi....seems like they include any movie that has any sort of not current or realistic technology. Movies like Ghostbusters and Multiplicity are on their sc-fi lists...... Anyhow one last gem to toss out if you haven't seen it, Galaxy Quest does a better job at Star trek than Star Trek....it is one of the funniest movies I've seen.

I'm sorry you have to go through this situation, I can't imagine what it is like to have a long term marriage come apart like that. I had a short marriage come apart, and that was extremely rough for me. Getting divorced was not fun, I can't say that I recommend it; but sometimes it is the best way forward, even if it isn't what you want. On the flip side, sometimes people and situations change if given time, I can't say whether or not the situation with your wife will, it sounds like a prolonged situation at this point and that she doesn't seem interested in changing. The only advice I can offer is stay close to Heavenly Father, your children, and the church. Best wishes.

One of the problems with this issue is that due to our election cycle, our elected official aren't really willing to look down the road more than about 4 years, typically more like 2, because that is all it takes to get re-elected. And too much of the electorate is all about what have you done for me lately rather than what is the best in the long term. And to really solve this problem we need to be looking 10 or 15 or 20 years down the road. As has been suggested this problem can't be solved in a year or two, but until we can change our fiscal mind set and policy and actually hold a course of action - (i.e. setting a limit on the growth of the federal budget and actually sticking to it for more than a couple years or whatever other viable solutions exist), the problem is unlikely to get solved and we will have to deal with whatever consequences arise.

FYI the Batman of the 1960's wasn't how Batman was originally portrayed in comic books. From conversations I've had with some fellow nerds in the know Batman started out pretty hardcore, threatening, crippling, and killing the bad guys without hardly a second thought. While I agree there is plenty of violence in the new films, but I don't think they were made to glorify violence. And I am sure I can come up with other movies that have more violence with a lot less of a message than the Batman films. The message I get from the films and about Batman is not that he is heroic because of his fisticuffs, but that he is heroic because he is willing to fight those who are evil even if he has to fight by himself and even if others think he is the bad guy because they don't understand his actions. I personally don't think the 2nd film glorified the Joker because of his violence, I got the message that there are people in the world who do evil things for no valid or understandable reason, but simply because they choose to (see Hitler, Stalin, Gadianton, etc). I found the scene where the Joker tries to force the ferry passengers to blow each other up to save themselves very compelling as to the basic goodness in humanity. Each boat ultimately refused because they knew it was wrong, even if it meant they would probably die themselves. Thus proving that the Joker and his idea that everyone is as twisted as himself wrong. That being said I agree that I don't think it is good to soak in violent media all the time, I am certain it would have a detrimental affect on a person if most of their time is spent watching violent movies. But I don't think you can pinpoint the cause of a shooting like this to something like the perpetrator did it because he watched (blank) film or played (blank) game. We know we are all born with the light of Christ, I don't think that disappears overnight from one specific event say watching one movie. That isn't to say it won't or can't be numbed over months or years of bad influences, but people still make their own choices.

I would bring it up as a question to the stake president next time you see him, or possibly to a member of the high council if they are visiting there is nothing wrong with asking questions. It could go like, "Hey I had a question about paying my tithing, in my ward/branch I've been told by my Bishop/branch president that I need turn in slip with 0 marked on it even if I didn't make any money, I've never heard of that in other places I lived so I'm sort of confused about it, do I need to be turning in basically blank donation slips?" It doesn't mean you don't support your Branch president, it just means you trying to clear up something that seems confusing or contradictory to you. While the Bishop or branch president presides over their unit and there may be some reason for some policy they have you aren't aware of; they are just men and make mistakes. Some don't have a lot of leadership experience or don't have a full understanding of certain adminstrative aspects of the church when they are called. On the flip side, sometimes they may have a lot of experience in the church but have some usual way of doing things because that is the way they learned how 40 years ago even if that isn't how it is done these days. I have served as both a ward clerk and a ward financial clerk and can assure you that I don't know of any reason to hand in donation slips with 0 marked on it. Especially if you are married, your donations are basically considered as a couple. I would assume it is some sort of misunderstanding by your Branch President and ask your stake leaders about it to make sure. Anecdotally, on my mission I did serve in a fairly isolated branch that was moved from one stake to another just before I got there. There were some things that were a little different, not necessairily wrong, but definitely different about that branch. Among the full-time missionaries it was definitely known for providing some interesting stories. Most of the priesthood leaders: the branch president, couselors, elders quroum president etc had live in that town for decades while most everyone else only lived there for a couple of years at most before moving somewhere else. So the branch had the same 4 or 5 people in the leadership positions for a few decades (from what I know 2 or 3 men alternated turns being branch president every 5 or 6 years for 20 or 30 years) and it seemed like they got in the habit of sort doing some things their own sort of way and I don't think they had many visits from the stake leadership in the previous stake. But their new stake was a little closer to them and it seemed like by the time I left that area there was stake leader visiting that branch nearly every week providing some needed training. The branch leadership wasn't released or scolded publicly, the stake was just trying to make sure they were on the same page as the rest of the church.

pfr = Physical facilities representative - the person that is in charge of making sure the building gets locked up and cleaned (hopefully with some assignments or volunteering to other ward members) when the ward is responsible for those duties. I don't think it needs to be a man, but in most cases it ends up being that way. On my mission I believe there was a ward I served in that had a female PFR.

Definitely unethical and goes against what being a Boy Scout let alone an Eagle scout is all about. But in my experience many official scout camps are nearly as bad at rubber stamping merit badges. They often simplify the requirements so the scouts who have limited amount of time, an hour or two, for a merit badge class at camp so they can get it all done. I remember one of the tougher required merit badges I did outside of camps for my Eagle (environmental science) took 2 or 3 hours on several seperate days while others in my troop did it at camp and magically finished it in 2 or 3 hours, which is clearly impossible if you look at the requirements which would require more than a couple of hours to get through. Anyhow creating rubber stamp Eagles does nothing for anyone besides encourage people that bending the rules or cheating is an acceptable means to get what you want. I would definitely pursue complaints to both the BSA and your Bishop.

I will second Julianna's remarks. I feel like I ended up on the wrong side of the situation she described and actually ended up being to the one choosing to be divorced after my ex mentally checked out of the relationship and also physically moved for reasons such as, "I wasn't the same man she was engaged to," "she wasn't sure she loved me," "I was totally selfish." But at the same time she couldn't once provide an example of what I had done or was doing to be so selfish..etc. I freely admitted that I was new to the husband thing and said I had plenty of room to learn more and was willing to work on specific things that were a problem. For my part I tried to do a lot of self evaluation but honestly failed to see much I had done that was remotely sufficient to warrant the the way she started treating me or provide cause for destroying the marriage. I tried my best to tell her and show her I loved her. I feel like before she moved out I was doing about 90% of the household chores - I was doing all the yard work, cooking, laundy etc. I would write her love notes, and bring her flowers. I would try to just give her a hug and tell her I loved her. I arranged couseling appointments and took off work iin the middle of the day to fit her schedule to make them while she would often cancel. I looked for books on marriage and relatiosnhips and read them and tried to get her to read them with me but she refused. And yes I all but begged her on my knees to forgive me for the mistakes I made and said I just wanted to try and make a happy life together. But yes I was only human...there were times I got frustrated or upset or said somethings she didn't like. I think were some other issues from her life that played into things but ultimately she choose to focus on only the bad (which I still honestly feel were relatively small things overall), refused to forgive any mistakes on my part, withheld about 99% of any sort of affection or intimacy and was unwilling to put any effort in on her part to build the relationship. So my advice is don't focus on the bad there are only a few things worth destroying a marriage. Honestly ask yourself if you are doing what you can to make your relationship a good one or are you sitting back expecting your spouse to be perfect and make you happy. Seperation generally leads to less communication, less chances to show each other you love each other which leads to making it easier to just end things completely. One of the few things we know God told Adam and Eve is that they were to "cleave" to each other which is to remain faithful, to stick close to each other. Seperating generally has the opposite effect. But ultimately it is up to you to pray and study it out and come to an honest or truthful answer about what you should do. I feel like in the end, my answer and God's answer was it was best in the long run to get divorced. But I still struggle sometimes with the consequences of that decision, I don't believe in divorce I believe in being committed and working through things and forgiving each other, but it does take both of you to do that in the long term.

It is probably a policy at the individual temple. For example at the Logan Temple which is in a college town. There are literally thousands of unendowed adult women (and a fair amount of premissionary men) attending college who would love to do baptisms for the dead. There are also thousands of youth in the surrounding community who want to do baptisms. So in my experience the temple tends to strongly discourage endowed members from going to do baptisms (unless they are there to help with a scheduled youth or YSA group or with family names) since there are other ordinaces that endowed members can do. This leaves the limited amount of time to do baptisms available to those who can do baptisms but no other ordinances yet. However, other temples I have been to seem to have a much more open attitude/policy about people going to do baptisms since there is less relative demand on the baptistry.