trubludru

In my experience and to my knowledge consecrating oil takes place basically as Rameumpton described it. While there isn't exact wording for consecrating oil the only things that really need to happen is the priesthood holder holds the open container of oil, states the authority by which he is performing the consecration, states that he is consecrating the oil for the healing of the sick and afflicted and closes in the Jesus Christ. Anything else is sort of extraneous and not really needed. It isn't really a situation like a blessing of comfort or the blessing of a child where someone is receiving counsel or the promise of certain blessings. The purpose of consecrating oil is to consecrate the oil, so that is really all that should happen, the priesthood holder shouldn't really be adding other blessings or anything else like that in this situation. So to answer your question, I'd say yes ask your home teachers to consecrate some oil for you but don't ask them to say certain things while consecrating it. Once the oil is consecrated, then it can be used for the blessing of the sick and afflicted. Which consists of two parts: 1. A Melchezidek priesthood holder anoints or applies a drop of the consecrated oil to the person (generally their head) and then lays his hands on their head and states the priesthood authority and what he is doing (anointing the person with oil) and closes in the name of Jesus Christ. Again there is no exact wording but there really shouldn't be any extra stuff here. 2. The same Melchezidek priesthood holder or more commonly a second one again lays hands on the person's head generally with a another priesthood holder (commonly the one who anointed the person but it may be done be just a single priesthood holder) and again states the priesthood authority, then says he is sealing the anointing , and then pronounces whatever words of blessing or counsel as he feels moved upon by the Spirit. Again no exact wording but certain things need to be said/done but again the priesthood holder shouldn't really be asked to say certain things. I've experienced situations where said blessings have led to dramatic improvements in health and others where it was tough to see any difference from the blessing, perhaps Heavenly Father is allowing the person to be sick or injured as part of something else we don't understand at the time. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't seek for his blessings because he wants to give us blessings. Hopefully, the priesthood holder will be in tune with the Spirit (even if they are totally worthy it can be tough) and be able to pronounce an appropriate blessing. And again faith plays a part in things. Additionally: The only purpose for consecrated oil is for the blessing of sick and afflicted by a Melchezidek Priesthood holder. It has no purpose or value in any other use. It doesn't have any inherent healing properties by itself so it won't heal you if you swallowed some or applied to a wound or something like that. Hope this will answer any questions about it.

I think the craziest accent I ever encountered was Canada's Newfie accent, but it was too long ago for me to accurately try to reproduce in written form. It sounded like a cross between pirate and hillbilly with some sort of British twist. (No offence to any Newfoundlanders.)

But its not har' to say dang, darn, or dagnabi'.

You have my sympathies, I'm not sure what the best soluation is. I am currently experiencing a situation of my own where my wife has taken my efforts to try and help improve our relationship as a personal attack. So again you have my sympathies.

The purpose of posting this is to vent as much or more than seeking advice. So I have only been married for short time and I feel like myself and my wife are hitting the learning curve in some areas. {begin venting} One of the ongoing issues in our relationship is her now ex-roommate. My wife since moving out of her mom's house has only ever lived with roommate "X" and lived with roommate "X" for more than 7 years straight before marrying me. Needless to say they developed quite a close relationship over the years to the point (in my judgment at least) to being closer to each other than either of their respective families. Now roomate X has what I'd describe as a queen bee personality - the need to be charge, be right, and be involved in anybody's and everybody's business whether she is welcome to or not, (not to say she doesn't have redeeming qualities). Where as my wife generally tends to be more passive and laidback and shy in most circumstances. I feel like this led to my wife being dominated by X for most of her adult life and since she never really experienced any other situation this became the "normal" situation for her. In practice, they basically became each other's significant other for social events, going to family events, work parties, etc with each other. Now the first time I talked with my wife and was trying to flirt with her etc see if she was interested in me. X was with her and in my experience most people would realize at some point, "Oh that guy is flirting with my roommate/friend I'll back off a little" but no X kept butting in to the conversation. But other than slight annoyance because I did get future wife's phone number (and X's despite not asking for hers), I didn't think too much; but now I realize why my wife didn't really get asked out on a lot of dates. Needless to say I felt like there was a lot of third wheel action going on while we dated. And despite that fact that I was really liking wife (then girlfriend) I was growing increasingly frustrated with feeling like I was in nearly as serious a relationship with X as was with wife and seriously considered breaking up with her over it at more than one point. I on several occasions brought up situation with wife and told her it made me uncomfortable and disgruntled because I often felt like I was dating her and her roommate and that while roommate was nice I felt like we needed more opportunities with just us two (outside of the couple of hours we had on formal dates each week). Wife expressed that they (her and X) were just used to doing everything together with each other for so long that it was just sort of habit and that she would work on it. Well things did improve somewhat over time so I felt satisfied that things would resolve. But things like X inviting now 'us' to dinner with her family (about 40 min drive away) and trying to get us to stop by her family on Christmas day still continued and wife still feeling like X should still come all of her family events with us still continued. So I brought up situation again and wife said yeah X has always come to X so I'm not going to tell her not to come and I thought well what does it really matter if X comes to big family party where there are 30 people. Anyhow I felt comfortable enough with siutation and things were good otherwise so I proposed and we got engaged. Well this led to a resurgance of X as she realized she was losing my wife so to speak. I can only say this led her to being involved in wedding plans as much as any proverbial mother-in-law. But there also seemed to be the realization on part of X and wife that yeah things would no longer be exactly the same after marriage. So I wasn't feeling too worried. So we got married and went on enjoyable honeymoon although I'm pretty sure X texted wife a few times about non-crucial things while we were on honeymoon. But we had a open house a few days after we got back and it seemed like as soon as we got back it was like all of the sudden X was over all the time and wife hardly paid me any attention. Now I understand wife was excited to see X because I don't ever think they had been apart from each other for that long, but all of the sudden I was just a fixture whenever X was around for the three days between when we got back till the openhouse. This led to me breaking down and bawling my eyes out in the storage room just before the openhouse because I felt invisible to my wife everytime X was around. But I pulled myself togther and told myself to quit being so sensitive about things and man up so to speak. After all the wedding stuff ended things seemed to reach a more normal situation. X wasn't around all the time but wife is still able to do stuff with her once a week or so, seems like win-win all around. I felt like things had taken a turn for the better. But for the past couple of weeks it seems like when wife sees me when we get home in the evening I get like a "hey" and a head nod sort of greeting and she doesn't hug me or kiss me or even sit near me unless I am the one that does the hugging or kissing etc. But then when X comes by or calls wife gets all excited and happy. Now I don't object to wife being happy to see or talk to X but wonder why I only rate the "hey" sort of attitude one reserves for that co-worker you see but never really talk to. And yes I've been trying everything I can think of to show wife I love and care about her, written her love notes, hidden chocolate in her lunch, helped out with the cooking, the dishes, the laundry, still take her out on dates, try to compliment her on regular basis, give her hugs and kisses without trying to initiate sex. But I still get the hey and X gets the excitement so I am starting to feel very frustrated and neglected Which brings to this weekend. So we both had a long day Saturday, she had to work a pretty long shift at work and had spent all day doing yard work and chores and an unsuccessful plumbing repair. Well X calls and wife seems to be a good mood and talks to X for a while. So a little later, hoping to cheer things up a little and help us both relax after a long day, and hopefully be a little romantic, I turn the shower on and go try to lead her seductively to the bathroom. And I get a why is the shower on? So I put my hands on her hips and give her a squeeze and I get a "why would we shower?" (in what I felt was a I think your crazy if I'm going to shower with you and you better get your hands off me sort of tone). So now I feel like the mood has switched from tired and worn-out to irritable and any chance of romance has been killed and whether or not it was the frustrations of the day or frustrations of feeling like X is getting more of her love and attention than me and how dare I try to shower with me. I said very saracastically, "Yeah why would we shower." and stormed off. So I didn't speak to her the rest of the night because I was frustrated and angry and didn't really trust myself to say anything else without calming down. Sunday morning comes and she wakes up with some congestion and doesn't seem to be feeling to well and decides not to go to church. So I am wanting to talk to her and try and figure out why I get the 'hey' treatment lately and she can't be bothered with a little romance or time with me despite talking on the phone in a pretty good mood with X for quite a while. But it is time for church and I figure wife will just want to go back to bed for awhile so I go to church. Well I get back from church and wife isn't home, but vehicle is which means she went to X's (X lives a short walk away). So now I'm angry again because wife is to sick to go to church but not enough to go over to X's. Well had planned on having my friend and his wife who I hadn't seen in quite a while over for dinner along with X. So wife doesn't come home for quite a while so I decide well I better get everything ready myself so I do. And after that I finally text wife and ask if she is coming home for dinner. So she comes back with X and basically ignores me until dinner, during dinner, and afterward while we played a game. So my friend and wife leave but X stays despite the fact it seemed fairly obvious to me there was a situation going on that wife and I need to resolve. X finally decides to leave after 9:00 pm but wife decides to walk her to her car apparently feeling the need to talk to her more even though it seems they've been together for about 7 or 8 hours already. So after wife is out there for fifteen to twenty minutes I'm starting to get frustrated again because I feel like wife would rather talk to X then take time to talk to me. So I finally flash the porch lights and X leaves and I finally get to talk to wife. So we work out that it was a miscommunication with the shower event but I decide I have to broach subject of X again feeling like from my viewpoint that for past little while wife seems more excited to talk to X than go out of her way to pay me any attention and that I feel neglected and like I have to compete with X for wife attention which leads to me resenting X (who really overall is a nice person despite the troubles I have with her) and getting frustrated and angry in situations like shower event. Wife seems to feel I am generally being irrational and that I knew how close she was to X since we first started dating. I explain yes I knew that but that we had also talked about it previously and I am still having problems with the situation and don't want the situation and my feelings about it to get out of hand. Because yes I do understand wife is tired after getting home from work but don't understand why I get a hey but X calls and it is chat chat with her. Wife says she doesn't understand me because she spends most evenings with me and a try to explain that it isn't the amount of time but that it is I don't get more than a hey. And then against my better judgment I brought up issue of X and family events trying to explain it isn't that X isn't welcome to come to somethings once in a while but that it is a little unrealistic and unfair (to our relationship) and frankly a little weird to have X along at everything she can come to as tends to be the case. For instance, wife wants to go to her visit her brother's family Labor Day weekend (it would be a spend a couple of nights sort of event) but wants to bring X along because X has always gone with her the past few years. So I express that I am uncomfortable with that because I feel like it will be her and X having a great time with brothers family who I don't know very well yet and I will just sort of be there getting ignored. So I knew this would upset wife but feel like it has to be said at somepoint. So currently wife is upset, I'm upset to have to have upset wife, but I admitted to her while may be feeling to hypersensitve about some stuff, but feel like she needs to know how I feel about the issue so it doesn't cause more problems down the road. But it didn't seem like there was any real concensus yet between wife and me as to what is ok with X and to why I feel neglected. {End Venting} So to sum up I feel like wife can and should still be friends with X. But wife needs to learn that X shouldn't be so involved in some aspects of wife's life now that wife is married, and that it would help me if I felt like wife was putting more effort into our relationship because I feel ignored in favor of X (In short that wife's relationship with me should be far more important than relationship with X, no matter how long they were roommates). I need to try to not be so hyper-senstive about X. But I do need to be assertive about the importance of my needs in my relationship with wife while being senstive her feelings and her friendship with X. And I need to aware that wife (and I) are still learning and figuring out this marriage thing. X needs to make some new friends so she be somebody else's problems, but honestly she needs to realize that as a friend she is causing more harm that good by being so heavily involved in wife's life and that she should take a step back and not feel entitled to come to everything with wife even if she did so before.

It is probably a referennce to when Joseph with Hyrum and a couple of others planned to flee across the Mississippi River and head to the Rockies to await the migration of the rest of the Saints shortly before Joseph and Hyrum were imprisoned in Carthage Jail. However, the statement does seem incomplete and at least partially incorrect. If I recall correctly Joseph and Hyrum had already crossed to Iowa when word reached them that several people (I don't recall who) requested they return and cooperate with Gov. Ford in trying to calm the situation down. If I recall Joseph said something like "If my life means nothing to my friends then it means nothing to me." (but don't quote me on that). He tried to insist Hyrum continue on to the Rockies so that one of them would survive, but Hyrum insisted on staying with them so they both crossed back to Illinois and gave themselves up. I don't know if Emma in particular sent a message that helped convince him to return or not.

I actually just got sealed a couple of weeks ago. The temple worker that processed our marriage license etc, told my wife to just write in her new last name behind her maiden name on the recommend or wherever she could fit in nearby if there wasn't a lot of space on the name line. It needs to be changed/updated with the name that will be on church records because with the new system where they scan them in with the barcode on them it brings up your name from church records on the screen so it may throw the temple worker checking your recommend for a loop if the name on the screen and the name on the recommend don't match up. Otherwise I don't think it matters that much. There have been times where my recommend (although still current) was signed by the bishop of a ward and stake president of a stake I hadn't been in for like a year and half and the ward and stake listed on recommend were therefore not the ward or stake I was currently in, (I had moved two or three times since getting the recoomend) but that doesn't make the recommend invalid. I think they just want you to get your name correct on the recommend so there is no confusion or problems when they check your recommend at the temple.

I guess that depends on what you think "common sense" is. To me common sense is the opposite of what you seem to be putting forth. Does it make sense to entrust a single individual or institution with totalitarian powers and not expect things to go bad at some point? The desire to have a king/dictator I would argue would be an emotional response rather than a logical/common sense approach. We want to look up to somebody, to have a hero we can rely on, it makes us feel good. Look at about any dictator in history, they all tend to build up a cult of personality where they portray themselves as infallible, strong, and able to solve all the problems of the people. And oh wouldn't it be nice if we could just put somebody in charge that would solve all our problems and "make the trains run on time". Common sense I would argue is to see the underlying truths of life and make responible choices based on those truths. Things like: "don't put all your eggs in one basket", "life isn't fair", and all individuals have inalienable rights like "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" (not the guarantee of happiness).

I think we need to try and influence others towards what we know is right but that is often easier said than done. And it is tough to fight every possible battle so we then end up trying to pick and choose what battles to fight. In the end though I think we need to remember that we can't make other peoples decisions for them and that we need to try and live by D&C 121 when seeking to lead or show others what we know to be right. I recently have had two roommates that were members of the church but weren't particularly valiant in the Gospel. I tried to influence them to improve their lives and spirituality without being preachy or naggy. I remember one easy thing I did was ask them if they wanted me to wake them up Sunday mornings so they could get ready for church. And they both said yes, so I tried to follow through and wake them up almost every Sunday, there were a lot of Sundays where they never got out of bed after I knocked on their door and got a response from them but there were times that they did. But I tried to not make too big of deal if they didn't come to church (I usually just said missed you at church instead of: it would be a lot easier to get up and go to church if you didn't stay up until 4 am playing video games) and tried to be postive when they did come to church. One roommate I don't think I had much effect on overall but the other when he moved out he did express appreciation for my good example and encouraging him. At the same time I think there are situations especially if there is someone we are close to that we can see is doing something that we know will take them down a bad path that we need to use what my mission president's wife called "sweet boldness" and express bluntly but with love our concern about what they are doing and/or testify about a truth or blessings they are missing out on because of a bad choice. So what battles do we pick and choose especially as a society? I don't know, is it better to try and prohibit something as a society that we know can be very harmful i.e. the Prohibition on alcohol. Forcing people to do the "right" thing and not have alcohol would have theoretically get rid of alcoholics, drunk driving, etc. But instead it led to organized crime, violence etc because people still wanted alcohol even though they knew about the negative effects of using it. I most definitely do not advocate using marijuana or any other recreational drug and/or addictive substance but is the current "prohibition" on it and the drug running and cartels and associated violence and murder that go with the "prohibition" better than allowing marijuana to be more legal and putting the drug lords out of business and probably ending a lot violence associated with the drug trade? And marijuana is probably safer to use than the legal drug alcohol. I don't know the answer, I do know that people shouldn't be using addictive and mind altering drugs (despite what many marijunana users would probably claim) but how do I get them to stop when that is what they want and willingly choose to do so even when it is illegal and there is evidence that substance (whatever it is) has harmful effects? And aren't there somethings that are so bad whether they be drugs, or actions (murder, rape etc) or whatever that we should and that need to ban because they are so serious? And then what punishment if any is then appropriate for breaking the law on things that we have mad illegal? Where is the line? It can get tricky to figure especially on some moral issues. I know what I know about what things are right and wrong but how do we decide as a society full of all sort of individuals with different ideas and backgrounds where the line is between right and wrong especially when a lot of people (in some instances) want to do things they know are bad for them and/or others (things like alcohol- I'm not trying to get in a debate whether moderate use has health benefits vs the thousands or millions it has harmed throughout history)? I guess you try to educate and encourage people to make the right choice without forcing them to. There are some things like murder that everyone pretty much agree is bad (obvious negative effect on person who was murdered and people close to that victim) and need to be punished but when the negative effects aren't always so immediate and obvious it starts to get tricky (relatively mild recreational drugs, moving in together instead of getting married, etc). I don't know what the best/right answer is for some of these issues are. After writing all that I feel like I need to take more action on a personal level (walk the walk more) but am still not sure what we do as a society about some issues.

Thought I should say hi instead of just lurking. As a USU alumni I am still trying forgive BYU for stealing our school colors. Just kidding, but seriously I don't want to confused for a BYU grad, no hard feelings I do have several relatives that went there and turned out mostly ok. Just appreciate finding a nice forum to browse. A different forum I have been in the habit of looking at has taken a decidely anti-religion tone so it was nice to find this place to replace it.