Forget-Me-Not

I do hope you noticed I didn't justify any of his behaviors.

This I just do not understand. I know people do it, that there are people who are dishonest in their interviews, but I don't understand it. Where is the joy of serving in the temple of the Lord when one must lie or be deceptive in some way to do it? Is it that they just don't want anyone to know their weaknesses or sins? Is it that they don't care about being dishonest? Is it that they want to maintain an image? I mean, don't let me in, please! If I cannot be truthful to do it! I just don't understand.

Hmmm... No words of wisdom coming yet, but I'm still smiling over seeking_peace posting, "Kiss her," in another thread and I'm having a little trouble changing tracks from romance to faith seeking. Anyway, forgive me. I am curious to know if your family is generally accepting of family members seeking out the faith of their choice?

Loved that! P. S. Oh gosh, I really did love that! Can't talk about why, but, it warmed my heart, made me smile, then made me laugh, and then I laughed til I cried. :')

I'm sure you've done it, but I don't remember you or anyone else mentioning fasting? I'm sorry if it was discussed and I missed it somehow, but I was thinking about what it says in Matthew about rebuking the devil, where it says, "Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting." (Matthew 17:21)

Thankfully we can learn to love those around us, even when they're as imperfect as we, lol. Sometimes, though, we can also learn painful lessons about life that can change our understanding of what we value most. A painful lesson I learned in my life was how important it is for a husband and wife to truly be friends, and best friends. Others may not have this need for themselves, but I have learned that I do. P.S. Don't want you to think I laughed at your entire post either, but I couldn't help laugh at your shout-out to your sister.

Oh goodness, I should add here, too, I very much agree with merciful judgment as well, especially where matters of the heart are concerned. I was married for 34 years and learned many hard and very painful lessons during that time. Things are often much more complicated than we ever expected they would be, yet sometimes they can be so much simpler than we tend to think we must make them. Sometimes we can be so zealous in our desire to do the right thing, that we miss the directions of the Spirit, because we aren't still enough to listen.

Yes, and I should point out I wouldn't want to bank on it either. That is to say, I know that every person who desires a mate and lives worthy of that blessing, will be granted it, whether in this life, or the next. BUT, I surely wouldn't want to tell myself, "Oh, I don't think I want to deal with that right now. Too many other things I'd rather do in life, so I'm just gonna wait for the Spirit world to find my mate." Of course (and thankfully) there is repentance even after bad decisions and choices, but we also don't want to be of the mindset that it's okay to think we can live life however we please without regard to commandments of the Lord and expect to reap the rewards anyway.

Thank you for this wonderful post. I had to put on the Tim McGraw song "My Best Friend" after reading it. This is how family, and marriage, should be. :)

Lol. Your grandfather sounds great, and I'd suggest that if the right guy does happen to come along before you have a chance to go on a mission, and if it turns out that you're not upset about that after all, or even if you are, to tell your grandfather that he'll be the first one you'll call to let know. It is so important to make plans for one's life and future, and you are so on top of what you want for one so young, which is a great thing. Anyway, I would absolutely agree with annewandering that it would depend on the circumstances and knowledge at the time, as per having an opportunity but not accepting it. An opportunity to marry does not necessarily mean that accepting a particular opportunity with a particular person is the right choice to make. It's also important to keep in mind that in spite of the value of making plans for one's future, it's also important to have the ability to be very flexible because you just never know what the future might hold. So, I would say that, while, on the one hand, one should not be so unreasonable in their expectations for a mate to demand such perfection in one that they place themselves entirely beyond that opportunity, I would, on the other hand, say that it can be just as much a mistake, if not more so, to settle for marriage to a partner with which one does not have sufficient commonality, love, or respect, to have a reasonable expectation of being able to successfully travel life's journey with and become one. As for opportunities being found and given in the spirit world, yes, this can take place. I do know of one particular example of this. I will not attempt to explain the details, not only because I don't recall all of them sufficiently to do them justice, but particularly because I don't want to exploit the very sacred experiences of living individuals that helped to bring about the sealing in marriage of a deceased loved one. But this particular example involved a man and woman who each lived and died without ever knowing each other, with each dying before being able to marry in mortality. They did not live on earth during the same time frame as each other, either, but they found and committed to one another other in the spirit world and through revelation this was made known to living individuals and after going through proper channels to obtain permission, this couple was able to be sealed by proxy in the temple.

Oh you sound so much like him, even down to some of the exact same words. I will keep you in my prayers. :)

I once told a friend that as much as I'd wanted to be a mother I'd reached a point where I became grateful that I'd been unable to have children in the event I would not have been the kind of parent a child needs, especially when considering the very negative circumstances of my own childhood and subsequent troubled youth. His reply was, "Oh, no! You changed for yourself, why wouldn't you have changed for your child? I think (know) you would have managed it, just like me." Well, I can't know if that would have been the case, but how sweet and how comforting it was to be told such a beautiful thing by someone who had managed, somehow, and maybe only through the grace of God, to overcome the sad and painful circumstances of his very traumatic childhood and troubled youth enough to be such a good and loving father to his own children, when he was unable to have the love and care of either the mother or father he needed and longed for growing up. :)

I very much appreciate your strong feelings on the matter and it is a terrible thing to have happened. At the same time, though, she, too, made a commitment and whatever a "real man" would do, I might ask what it is that a "real woman" would do? A real woman does not take her commitments lightly. She thinks things through carefully. She is strong in the face of adversity, as well as being nurturing, kind, compassionate and understanding, even when it comes to a grown man that seems to be acting as a selfish and immature child. I would say prettyrose needs to allow herself some time to recover from the shock of having her world turned upside down. As I see it, she has that right. As I also see it, she, as the woman who committed to be his wife, also has a responsibility for the commitment she made, so I don't find allowing herself a little time to thoughtfully work through her decisions unreasonable. I would also suggest that even in a situation as unfortunate as this it would not be the first occurrence when a little time, patience, and love of a good woman could help a struggling man overcome a childish weakness.

Well, it's been awhile since I saw 31, but I just said something very similar to this just last night. At this particular moment, though, I'm now wondering if I was told I would live yet another 50+ years having to go through more of what I have thus far (*great heaving sigh*) how I would feel about it all, if I was told that at the end of that time I would prove to be a great blessing to another of Heavenly Father's children? A little better about it, I think... :)

I wish you could have known her too. And yes, you very well may be the answer to such a prayer one day. Do take heart in that, and bless you in it. I knew her and she would have willingly suffered to be such for someone else. :)

Don't know if you've given him the letter, or what his reaction was at receiving it if you did, but I do know from personal experience that sometimes a man can't handle feeling pressured and he will run from a woman even though he loves her. That doesn't mean you caused the pressure that made him run, either. There could be things from his own life that have caused him to put pressure upon himself and he may not even realize it. I also know from personal experience that when a man runs, the woman has the natural tendency to ask herself, "How could this man say he loved me and then turn and run? He must not have meant it." Sometimes a man runs out of fear of some kind that really has nothing to do with the woman. Or sometimes he'll run when he feels he's not good enough for her, or when he fears he can't be what he thinks she expects or needs him to be. Whatever the case in your situation, though, if you truly love this man, you need to take a breath. You need to take the time necessary to get over the shock of what's happened and not react impulsively in the emotion of the moment. I know, it's very easy to say, but can be extremely difficult to actually do. Even so, you need some time to rest and calm yourself, in order to better evaluate things, and to find out, if possible, where his struggles are really coming from. After all, you loved this man enough to marry him, so please don't act rashly in your hurt and pain.

My heart absolutely breaks for you. I have no adequate words of consolation to offer. I'm sorry for that. But, I do want to stress something where going to the bishop and confessing is concerned, which is something I would encourage that you and your husband do together. It is no one else's business! No one else need know about your personal private life. Not your families and not your friends at church. Oh, they may wonder why this or that, but you have no obligation to tell them anything. That is up to you and your husband and if your bishop honors confidentiality as a faithful bishop should, no one other than those priesthood leaders who have stewardship need know any details at all. Let other people speculate all they please, about the why of this, or the why of that, but you have no obligation to discuss those private matters with any of them and if they press you, just tell them it's a matter between you and the Lord and you intend to keep it that way, end of story.

Hmmm. Interesting. I don't know if it's common or not, now that you've asked that question. I know that for me it seems I was born with such yearnings, and it seems they have followed me my whole life, and presently I feel them more keenly now than ever. I don't know if it's because I have not yet attained the desires of my heart for this life, or if it's because I have retained some degree of subconscious memory of the heavenly life I once experienced in pre-mortality and miss Maybe, probably, some combination of both...

I have always admired the drive and determination of seekers. Bless you in your spiritual journey. :)

I almost hesitate telling of this because I don't want to discourage you, but battling Satan and his army can sometimes be far greater and more difficult and ever-present in this life for some, than it likely is for most. It does not require neglect, lack of obedience, or sinfulness, but is sometimes what it seems some must endure, maybe because they are such a threat to Satan's work and kingdom. Many years ago my family was taught by lovely sister missionaries. One remained a dear family friend the rest of her long and devoted life, finally passing on in her late '80s. She was one of the most faithful daughters of God I have ever known and as strong in the gospel as any of us could ever hope to be. This woman was neither weak in her trust of the Lord, nor in the confidence of her own being as a daughter of God, yet she was so continuously, literally, plagued by the adversary in his efforts to have her that she spent much of her life begging, that if it be the Lord's will, that she be taken home for relief and pleading for the strength of the Lord, that she could endure until she was. This is is what it truly means to "endure" and when I hear reference to enduring to the end, it is she I can't help but think of. The Lord is my example as to how I should live my life, but she, too, is an example and strength to me, as to how much I need to look to my Lord and keep my eyes and my trust ever focused on him, that I might make it through this life. Maybe one of your life missions is to be an example of this to others?

P.S. My loved one is a rebel at heart too and one who is intensely passionate about fighting injustice. That is a strength, not a weakness, and you are blessed to have it. It only needs channeling in the right direction and it will serve you and others well. :)

Funkytown is right. Everyone is tarnished. If you could see into the minds and hearts of others, if you see into any of our lives, see what we go through behind closed doors or get a glimpse behind the protective covering we tend to wear to hide our weaknesses, faults, sins, fears, and sorrows, you would see we're all tarnished by them. You would see that we have all struggled, and do struggle, in one way or another, with one thing or another, sometimes many things, in this life. What's more, whether our struggles, weaknesses, and sins be slight small gray smudges or thick wide black marks makes no difference. We all have the same need of our Savior and of the grace of a loving God and Father. Sometimes we can feel we're just too weak or that we've just fallen so far that there is no help or hope for us. I have been there at times and I have a loved one who is there right now, feeling as though he turned his back on God and let Him and everyone else down, when, after he joined the church and was so happy and strong for a time, then stumbled and lost his way. He longs to return, aches for it, but feels he is too tainted by sin and weaknesses of the flesh. Feels so tainted and undeserving, so unworthy, even, that he feels as though he's fallen from the grace of God. I have tried to help him understand that is not so. That he has not fallen so far that the Lord can't reach him still, and that he is every bit as deserving and worthy of the help and care of a loving Heavenly Father as any of the rest of His children. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him, should not perish, but have everlasting life." Please, do not feel you cannot return. Please do not feel that you are so tarnished that there is no hope for you or that you are undeserving or unworthy of the love and care of our Heavenly Father and our Savior. They love you with a love that cannot end. That love is so great, in fact, that even if you were the only one on this earth who was tarnished and needed saving, the Lord would have gone through all he did, even for you alone, so great is your worth.

If the command to leave also by definition contains the command not to return, how do we get around the problem of numbers? If we assume that every successful spirit sent packing is one less that will ever bother us again, we run into the problem of there still being so many foes that you could spend every waking moment for the rest of your life casting them out one by one and still not run out. I am not convinced that once commanded to depart an evil spirit cannot return. Even if this is true, it still appears that an active force preventing entry is necessary. That is, unless one concludes that such a force is not possible or needed. I also employ commanding evil spirits to depart, though often I can be plagued for days or even weeks before I realize the source of my difficulty as coming from an evil influence. When I do realize that, however, I command them to leave. On occasion I have made this command in each room of the house. It has never occurred to me to command them not to return, but the issue of numbers is understandable so I guess I would simply do it when I felt there was a need.

Personally, I like to pray for protection from harm and evil when I sleep. That is, I like to include such requests when I pray before retiring to sleep. There have been times of special difficulty and stress when I've prayed much during the night for protection as well. I've also, at times, in addition to requesting protection, asked that the Lord would send protectors to guard me in my sleep. On occasion I've even employed visualization in surrounding myself with a protective shield, as it were, somewhat like the imagery of a glass dome that evil cannot penetrate. Lol, in telling these things, however, I wouldn't want you to conclude that I go about living my life in a state of fear or paranoia about evil spirits continually stalking me. I'm a very normal, every day, rational individual, but I also have sufficient understanding of the reality of Satan and of the existence of spiritual entities from the unseen world that are our enemies to know I can't be apathetic or careless about such things at the same time. At any rate, I'd say the bottom line is that I should endeavor to do those things that will keep me as close to the Spirit as possible to be protected by his influence and then have faith and trust in the Lord that I will be protected.

Finally finished reading all your responses in this thread thus far. Very interesting posts and exchanges. I've very much enjoyed learning from them. :)