Sharky

The "Donation Reciept" or the little form you fill out to go in the envelope with your tithing, Ward Missionary Fund & General Missionary Fund donations are totally 100% seperate from tithing. If you are paying for your own mission or paying for your childs mission, IMHO that expense is seperate from tithing. So no, you would not reduce you $1000 tithing to $600 because you paid $400 for a missionary. That $400 is basically the cost-of-living .... food, housing/utilities, transportation, insurance, basic supplies ...... Perhaps the question should be reworded to: If your income is $50,000 you pay $5000 in tithing ..... if you pay $5000 that year for your kid to be on a mission, does or can that $5000 come out of your income before or after you determine your tithes? I.E. $50000 income, $5000 tithing, $5000 mission -or- $50000 income, $5000 mission lowering income to $45000, $4500 tithing? Personally, I paid tithes on my income, paying for the missionary was treated as a cost-of-living expenses & had no bearing on determining income or the amount of tithing owed. We never even thought about whether that expenses should be pre or post tithing. But that is something each individual needs to decide for themselves.

I believe we all tend to hide certain aspects of ourselves, of our personalities, of our abilities, & even our knowledge. The reasons may vary some for different individuals, though over all we all grow up with a strong desire to "fit in". In adulthood, sometimes it's simply out of habit that one continues to hide those aspects of ourselves, though sometimes it contnues to be a fear that we will not find acceptance. I once knew a boy, young man, that was the "class trouble maker" in school to the point where school officials in Utah frequent counseled with his parents. He'd catch on to things with a click of your fingers & then spend the rest of the time being bored .... not knowing what else to do, he'd start doodling & then turn to cracking jokes & then become rowdy. He knew the math answers but had a hard time showing his work on papper ... frequent he couled "see the answer", how to take the math problem & work it & get to the answer he didn't know, he just knew the answer. Strange how the school assumed that he was acting out because he was not grasping or understanding the concepts being taught --- & he only further promugated this belief as he had the smarts to defeat the academic tests so that he always tested at or below grade-level.

I have personally known 2 individuals that were well above the minimum genius IQ .... they were brothers & were uncles of mine. Both very much into physics & engineering & both died of "old age", 1 in his later 30s & the othern early 40s ....... maybe there was some logic to my reasoning of choosing career paths (firefighting, law enforcement, & then returning to my farming roots) that require "street smarts" rather then "book smarts".

Most LDS Historic Sites are staffed by Missionaries, & most are senior singles or senior couples. Many do have Missionaries that dress and/or act in the historic part, though frequently those actors & roles tend to come & go based on the misionaries serving at that location at the specific time. I saw this in Palmyra, our visit was filled with "role players" & many of the Missionaries, especcially the sisters, were dressed to that era. Though a family member went a few years laters & didn't have that experience. Even at Cove Fort, which always seems to have "role players", as the missionaries change the experience changes. Of the many "rest stops" we've made at Cove Fort we have never had the same tour or the same actors or the same experience. I would imagine that the site leaders try fill certain acting roles though are always open to developing new roles & phasing out old roles so as to accomodate & fit new missionaries arriving at the site. I would also imagine that it is no different then any other "mostly missionary staffed" program such as Bishop's Storehouses ..... some seem"very-well-staffed" with busy busy busy missionaries & volunteers & the storehouse manager makes sure that they each have something useful & valuable to do, while at other storehouses, there just isn't "the need" ...... I guess what I am saying is a lot of it depends on the historic site leadership & how creative & open they are to using the missionary resources they are presented with -- how flexible they are to making changes as the knowledge & interests & abilities of their missionary staffing changes.

Seems right there that you are stating your case pretty clearly.If "demanded" you would "give" but God "asks" so you consider & itemize & try to figure out what is & is not expected to be included. But you are NOT a business. The Lord does not say 10% after your cost-of-living.I am a business owner & my tax attorney (who is also an LDS Stake Prez) always says: "If it's a regular or routine expense for non-business owners, then you better have clear and convincing evidence that it is a legitatmate required business expense before you lump it into expenses." He then goes on to explain how he won't be the one trying to explain my rationale to the IRS, I will be. I'm not so sure "child care expenses" so that you could operate a sole proprietor LLC would be a deductible expenses the IRS would so eagerly accept. _______ As for my opinion on the "tithing code" ... you won't like it but, I'd rather try to explain your rationale to the IRS then to the Lord. The Lord already knows what is in your heart & mind & sole. At least with the IRS you might have a chance. I agree with your wife; however, if you are set with your rationalization, then perhaps your wife should pay her tithing on her income & you pay your tithing on your income. That way each individual would be paying what they feel is a full tithe & each of you would be able to answer the Lord with a resounding "YES" when He or one of those called on to serve in His stead asks if you (or her) are a full tithe payer. My wife & I have always paid our tithing seperately. Her income is normally used to run the household where as my income, well, my income is very sporadic & there are frequently times when my income simply isn't & it would be all too easy to use her income to cover the farm & then say we don't have to pay tithing on that. Her tithing is paid every 2-weeks, mine is paid sporadicly with a fairly large lump-sum in March when the Scheduel F is all hammered out & I know my bottom line. So she budgets her income & I budget mine & as part of that budgeting we each take INDIVIDUAL responisbility for our own tithing. Incidentaly, the wife always paid tithes before considering child care expenses.

Not an "Official" Calling, not yet anyway. The trend we are having is taht we have many qualified individuals for numerous of the merit badges; however, few are willing to voluntarily volunteer. Those that do are frequently counselors for several merit badges. We have found ourselves having to casually approach people and asking them to be a merit badge counselor for 1 or 2 very specific merit badges. That worked okay for a couple years but in the past 12-months it just hasn't been. We've talked withn a few people about their experience & reasons why they don't want to be a counselor etc & a lot of it comes down to lack of time & lack of self confidence to work within the BSA program ....

Exempt as well as Non-Exempt employees, under most state labor laws, can not "volunteer" for their employer (or a related/sister employer) performing the same, similar, or related duties to those that are part of their regular or routine "paid" duties. Every hour worked for your current employer is just that "worked" not "volunteered". Most employers that have legitamate volunteer programs within their organizations have written policies barring employees from volunteering while employed there or within 6-months following the end of employment. Many state governments allow current state employees to volunteer for an agency that is unrelated to the agency they work for; however, even those situtations fall under scrutany if the "volunteer" is being allowed perks or privleges because of the employment that "volunteers" are not normally allowed. A state agency here in my state fell under scrutany of the IRS because a "volunteer" was allowed to drive a state vehicle as part of their "volunteer" duties (most volunteers are never allowed this perk, it was allowed because she was also a state employee) .... because that volunteer was also a salaried state employee, the mileage etc at tax-payer expenses became a "taxable benefit or compensation" essentially redefining that individual as "not a volunteer". So this "volunteer" ended up having to amend income tax filings to include the milage driven/state fleet use as taxable compensation .... something to do with her employer providing compensation for performing duties not regularly a part of "paid duties". Too many gray areas open to wide interpretation between "paid" & "volunteer" for the same company at the same time. I'd avoid it even if the employer allows it!!!!

I don't recall anything specific about "Bunco Groups" or anything of the like, least not of the "official" kind. I do recall numerous "groups" that had been started as part of a "church" function (one such ... Ward RS Quilting Groups) being strongly discouraged many years ago. Seemed that frequently such groups become a breeding ground for much gossip & judgement of others & over time those groups did seem to become kind of exclusive. Like I said, I don't recall anything officially being said, just recall being instructed to "excersize caution" & then those type of groups seemed to kind of phase out fairly quickly.

If the difference in diagnosis is really concerning you, take the time to discuss both diagnosises with the psychologist & then with the psychiatrist &/or with any social worker or counselor you may be seeing. Psych Diagnosis are based on specified criteria that are outlined in the DSM (DSM IV is the most current on our bookshelf, but I belive there is a V now). Sometimes one professional might in the testing or the intake interview or medical history see something that they interpret differently then the other professional does. Sometimes a "blip" pops up that a diagnosis &/or treatment may be based on when in fact that it is all it was, a "blip" resulting in an inaccurate or perhaps more accurate diagnosis. Sometimes it is as simple as different interpretations of the exact same thing ..... or more emphasis place on 1 of the symptoms or 1 diagnostic criterias over all the others, giving a different diagnosis. The psychologist & psychiatrist &/or any other mental health professional you may be seeing should be able to help you understand the diagnostic criteria for each diagnosis & what or how they arrived to that diagnosis ... as well as how diagnosis #1 correlates or relates to diagnosis #2, what the differences or simularities may be.

Gnerally the wet-pack items available thru the Church are equal to the higher-end brands at the grocery store. If you were to open a cann of Church Pork & Beans & a can of the local budget generic store brand, there is a very visible difference (bean size for 1) & if you sample them together a taste difference .... not sure you'd really ever notice the difference without having them side-by-side. Personally, for us, the price difference is not worth it. We don't mind the generic store brands & they are what we are use to, so it doesn't make sense to buy most the church wet-pack products. Dry-pack products, some of them have some definate advantages both cost & taste!

From An Educational Perspective: Psychiatrist: Is a Medical Doctor that elects to practice is the mental health arena. In theory these professionals have additional education and training in Psychology; however, not all states require such. It is a good idea to look at any professinal certifications & other ititials after his name & check to see what the accredidation organizations require before the Doc can claim those initials. Psychologist: Someone who is actually trained in Psychology & Mental Health with only minimal training in the medical world. Again, some of these indivduals might have additional education I the medical end of their professional; however, it is very rarely required of them. Generally a Psychologist does not have Prescriptive Authority (licensing), so he/she won't be prescribing meds, where as a Psychiatrist is a Medical Doctor & can/does have prescriptive authority/licensing. One possible reason for some differences or sudden changes in a diagnosis: Thanks to the current & past environment Health Insurance World where "insurance companies are king", many Psychiatrists will give a diagnosis that is not necessarily 100% accurate ... the reason being is that then they can treat you with a medication that works but is not "approved" to treat the specific diagnosis you may have. When it comes to Psych Meds, many insurance companies are tightening down & require "preauthorizations" before they will cover the meds .... if the specific diagnosis does not match an "approved use" of the med the the insurer frequently denies coverage.

Setting aside the entire timeframe issue of when you met & how long you've been dating etc .... & assuming that you are okay with waiting 3-months & that you are truely repentant, that the concerns expressed are your girl friends ...... One thing that immediately came to mind when reading the OP .... During that 3-month waiting period is the Bishop contuening to meet with you/her & counsel you/her or has he simply handed out the "punishment" & let the matter drop? What are you & her doing to ensure there is not a re-offense during this "waiting period"? The second thought I had: If your girl is so angered or upset by having to wait 3-months, by her waiitng period being longer then her sisters, I have to wonder how repentant she really is. How seriously is she taking her own sin? If she is serious about ensuring her own worthiness & her own level of preparedness to enter nto the Temple of the Lord & be sealed for time & eternity. I see (read) judgment of the Bishop, judgement of her sister & her sisters Bishop, maybe even some judgement of you her future hubby, judgement of everyone but her own self. Okay, so I'm not privy to the entire situation .... but? I am not sure 3-month is a long enough waiting period for her to come to the realization that her actions have consequences ..... if not consequences in this life then consequences in the eternal sense.

From my experience different wards & differrent areas tend to respond differently to persons with disabilities. Some areas the Ward & Stake leaders tend to have a more open accepting approach then do others. Most likely due to their own personal lives & experience. I also must admit that I avoid sitting anywhere near a certain family at church. They have 2 disabled children, one can not communicate or walk & she tends to moan frequently & scream out during the meetings. For me, it distracts from the meeting. Unforunately I am still trying to overcome my barriers on this matter. I personally was elated to learn that the LDS Church now allows service dogs to accompany disabled persons in the chaples & buildings & facilities of the church, officially "....disabled, members and nonmembers, ... all church owned and operated buildings and facilities with the exception of food preparation areas and attendance at the Temple, where Temple workers will assist the member". Under the ADA religious organizations are exempt from having to allow service dogs in & for many years the LDS Church did not unless it was authorized by the Area Presidency. I don't know when they changed it but more & more I am having to rely on my "stability dog" to help me stand from a sitting a position & to retrieve things I may drop. Sure people at church could help at meetings but that dog gives me the independance, the self-reliance, so that I do not have to rely on others. Most times I believe it is a lack of exposure of non-disabled to the disabled that creates the barriers both in & out of the church. So many non-disabled just do not know how to act around the disabled .... it seems simple enough to say "act normal" but when you have never been around a blind person or a person in a wheelchair, it is hard to "act normal". What is normal? It is sometimes difficult to strike up conversations with these indivduals, perhaps we see our own mortality & what our own life could be like. I recall seeing a woman in a grocery store do something with her child that I appluad .... It was the greatest thing I have ever witnessed. Her daughter spoke loudly, "Mommy, there's a man in a wheel chair!" jumping excitedly & pointing down the isle. The mother took her daughter by the hand & walked her to that wheelchair & together they met the occupant of that chair. So her daughters lesson began - that chair is NOT the person. The person may be loving & gentle, kind & accepting, or the person may be a real sour puss, full of hate .... but that chair is NOT the person. Having spent some time in a wheelchair myself, I can say it is not an easy adjustment to go from walking to wheeling. Suddenly your world is a world of looking at people straight in the navel. People glance at you in your chair & then put their eyes straight ahead at their eye level, not yours, & they don't look down at you again - they can easily avoid your eye contact & you can do little to reach up & grab theirs. Those that do pay attention are generally children & then it's more of a morbid couriosity. How we treat or act or respond to the disabled is something that is taught & learned. The changes I have seen in the church in recent years seems to be one of acceptance & worth & value, & one of adapting to the needs of each member as individuals. From a Ward or Stake Emergency Response stance, the guidelines are simple, there is to be a list of members who have special needs & how the Ward/Stake can best assist those members during a disaster or major event. It might be a notation as simple as "needs oxygen" or "motility concerns" or could even be "military/emergency responder household" (those households could readily become single-parent or even no-parent households during a disaster). Special needs aren't just limited to the disabled.

Some years ago the wife & I lost a child. Sure he was "just" a foster child though he was and had been our child for 7+ years when he died. The greatest thing that anyone in her office did for her after she went back to work was done annominously & some time after his death. One day, after being back to work for about 6-weeks, a small very simple plain vase with a single rose appeared on her desk. No card, no note, and when she asked no one knew of where it came from - it happened to be on his birthday. That vase & rose spent the next 30 or so months sitting on her desk. The day she accidently hit the rose with a medical chart and the dried rose-bud crumbbled, that was almost as an emotional of a day as was the day he died. The fact that someone actually remembered his birthday & marked that day with such a simple gesture remains something my wife still can not describe or express in it's fullness. Ever since then we have had taken a little different approach when friends or family loose loved ones. Sure we visit them & atttend the funeral & make sure they know of our support at the time ..... though all too often everyones lives return to normal so very quickly, except that is, the mother or father or other loved one who's life will never be the same again. So now, we take the time to stop in & visit those loved ones, drop off some flowers or a dinner some months after the fact .... just because time has passed & perhaps their mourning is no longer so visible, that doesn't mean that the difficult hours & days are gone.

I'd give YSA an effort, a try that consists of more then just 1 Sunday though it wouldn't need to be consequtive weeks & understanding & realizing that it's not a done deal set in stone as you always have the choice to go to your family ward. Most family wards either announce or have the list of YSA activities, at least in my area. So you can choose to attend some of the YSA activities while still attending the family ward, if you want. Or like Skippy says, give them your e-mail & ask they let you know about the activities. We have a young man in our ward that attende the YSA every 4 to 6 weeks & the family ward the rest of the time. The YSA ward does a good job of making sure he knows about their activities & knows he is invited & he does attend some of those activities. He has friends in both wards though he does not like "the feel" of the YSA ward. Nothing says you have to choose one over the other. Choose your "primary preference" (the Family Ward) & let that be your "home ward", then you can attend the YSA Ward from time to time. In time you might find yourself enjoying it more & decide to attend it more frequently for a while, if not, that is okay too!

I believe it was Ben Franklin that defined Democracy as a Lamb and 2 wolves discussing what was for dinner & the lamb (the minority) prevailed, he was not dinner. One of the Founding Fathers also said something to the effect that this country and it's people will never be free if we are unable to provide for ourselves everything necessity of life. Any group of people that are dependant on another group of people to provide a necessity of life is far from being free. Oil is only 1 thing we are dependant on other countries to provide. Much of our food supply comes from other countries today. The vast majority of "stuff", including clothing comes from other countries. The slippery-slope was set into motion many many many many decades ago. The pattern of this country really isn't much different then the people of biblical times. Generations living freely & worshiping God, then bountious times of plenty, then captivity. Though perhaps our captivity isn't as litteral as physical slavery, we are still becoming captives.

Don't teach piano, I could but it would be kind of the same as my hairdressing skills ..... I know when we rented a small home to a family member we did so thru an intermediary (basically a management company) so that we weren't in a direct business relationship with them. They didn't like it but it was that or ntohing from the time they first asked us about renting from us. When we put that home on the market we also did so with an intermediary (our attorney) so that we had npo knowledge of who or where the offers came from - just made our easier as we were simply being told what the offer was. I guess it was kind of just luck that they ended up being the offer we accepted ... I get VERY irritated when someone says 9 AM & they intend that as the time they leave home 45-minutes away rather then the time I expect them to arrive here at my place. For repeat offenders I have on many occaisions told them I would not be here at 9:30 unless they were here before then - & I wasn't! Doing work with family & ward members, whether I hire them or they hire me or simply they need help, I always figure that time & effort & expense on my part is donated. I go into it with that idea, figuring I am simply serving or helping & not really expecting anythig in return. I am never disappointed though frequently pleasantly surprised!:)

The last set of plugs & cables I had replaced on an high-end car cost me $95/hr & 1.7 hours for just the labor! I usually provide the parts ..... but this was not a newer car, it was a mid 90's American Made, V-8, "higher end" luxery Ford. That said, it was much nicer & easier with that car to have someone else do the work ... I would spend hours & hours of time that was better spent on other projects, though I always questioned $95/hr.

Yep! I did some asking of my legal guy & got that response too. EVERYTHING that is withheld from your paycheck for any purpose must be authorized by you or ordred via legal proceedings. Even the tax withholdings are authorized by you when you fill out the forms at time of hire. Any insurance premiums you authorize. If you get uniforms or tools thru the employer & have the cost taken out of your check, your employer must have on file your original signature authorizing an exact amount each check & a total amount. So short of authorizing them to garnish your check the only legal way in the US they can do so is to go thru the courts or arbritation.

I don't know of any state or local laws in the US that would permit this without a court or adjudication of some type being involved. If you were negligent in your actions then termination of employment, perhaps even without qualifying for unemployment benefits if "gross misconduct" or "grossly negligent", would be in order; however, the only way I know of that a pay check in the states can be legally garnshed would be one of 2 circumstances .... 1) You knowing & willfully agreed to such in written form using a legal document taht the courts would uphold -or- 2) a court or arbitration of "competent jurisdiction" finds you owe moneys (i.e. a judgement against you) & said court opens the way for the party to seek reimbursement via garnishment. Even then the party has to jump thru some hoops to do so as every state has different proceedures/regulations. In my state once a party gets the judgement against you they have to petition the court for permission to garnish your check & they have the responsibility to show the court that doing so will not present an "unconscionable hardship" on you or your family. -or- 3) There is a 3rd way ... government agencies don't generally have to get a judgement against you to garnish money you we the government (i.e. IRS or seriously delinquent Student Loans). There again though, that "uncounsionable" issue arises.

Thanx PC & the rest of you for the great comic relief this morning! A thread well worth reading & likely to remain an all-time favorate for a long time to come!

It really doesn't surprise me. Though I had some contact & interaction with some members of the sect many many years ago before the "seclusion" of members became so strong, & thru that I have some knowledge of many of the teachings they had back then. Since the seclusion compounds are each intended to be totally self-reliant without the outside world, and only select members are permitted to go into the world when necessary, it would be very easy to teach children (and adults) whatever the "Prophet" felt should be taught .... and have it believed 100% whether it be trueth or out-right lie.

ALPACALYPSE ..... So that's why the Alpaca farm down the road has been so urgently selling off their breeding Alpaca herd.

I don't know any current numbers though many years ago there was an interesting & little known fact about new members, family history work, & temple attendance. I don't recall the exact numbers though there was a very signficant %age increase in the 10-year retention rate when new members were rapidly involved in Family History & went to the temple as soon as possible to do Baptisms for the Dead for members of their own family or anscentors. There was also a direct correlation between the nmber of trips they made to the temple to do baptisms & an increase in retention. The sooner & the more frequent = greatest 10-year retention.

First, it sounds as if the offfice gossip as to why she was fired may actually have some merit. Second, not to defend her or justify her actions but maybe rather perhaps extend some tolerance, it would be very difficult for me to have no choice but to return to a place that had fired me & conduct business with my replacement. No it's not wrong to wonder that or think that, it would be a normal response. Though some understanding might also be in order. We frequently do not & may never know why a person is the way they are, though sometimes there are reason that some simple understanding might make a BIG difference. I recall hearing a ward member some years ago share an experience from his job with an airline. They had a gentleman passenger that was arguementive angry & rude with everyone. They could have & did think & mutter & gossip all sorts of things about this guy .... understanding came when they realized that this gentleman was on a busniess trip & had just received a phone call, his wife & 2 kids had been killed in a traffic accident. Suddenly he didn't seem quite as rude or angry or aurguementative, he seemed stressed and hurried and greived.