Quin

Blink. Blink. Wait a sec..... YOU guys make her walk home??? Meaning her parents are bloo....ming just dropping her off and driving away??? Or just sending her to your house after school? Not a word to the wise to you, much less asking, much less doing anything in return? Yah. I'd be toying around with daycare invoices as well! (And in my area after school care for elementary 3 hours a day is $250 a week at the YMCA. Nannies and babysitters are much much more. When my oldest was an only, I had to actually throw something of a controlled temper tantrum. All my friends worked, and seemed to take SAHM = free babysitter. There was some give and take (in the beginning, at least), so I'd let them get away with it longer than I should have. Then they started referring their friends, and their friends, and I finally lost it (way too late). Had a similar problem when I was working nights (since you aren't doing anything.... Nope! I'm sleeping. Unless you want me to come to your house at 3am "for just a few hours, since you aren't doing anything" 5 nights a week, with my wide awake kids who need to be entertained and fed, oh... And would you drop them off at 730 across town? I know you have to be at work at 8, anyway, so it shouldn't be any bother. Yeesh. You're so selfish.). LOL. Amazing how parenthood rearranges friendships! Anyhow... I have NO problem (love, in fact) being the house all the kids pour into. Whether they're wee ones or teens. But I take major issue with being used as childcare. There is a ginormous difference. Yuge. Fundamental. 'Cause you're right. The nerve of some people is unbelievable. Q

^^^^^ This. I bet you are sooooooo on the money, here. All presidents (that I'm even passingly familiar with) have similar or even more strident objections. But it's amazing how "history" gets a pass, while "current events" do not. And how HARD it is when our current events BECOME history!!! Q

I derived it by placing a "healthy" line arbitrarily. Which was the point. If you give reasonable sounding examples with flawed logic, the logic doesn't look flawed. Take these 2. 1 of these is a reasonable sounding example, and the other isn't. It's the one that ISNT reasonable that shows the flaw in the logic. (In this case, reverse logic does not work). People who exercise are healthy. If you don't exercise, you won't be healthy. (Reasonable, but totally flawed) Sick people take pills. If I don't take pills. I won't get sick! (The totally unreasonable argument that shows the flaw). ___________ The total cognitive dissonance you felt when you read that rape in marriage is healthy, is the flaw in the logic. Adding marriage is NOT what makes sex healthy. You'd given some totally reasonable examples of why putting an ideological line (which I happen to agree with the ideology, btw, I follow the Law of Chastity) changes the physicality. It doesn't. I won't become addicted outside of marriage, but not become addicted because I'm married. Our bodies don't work that way. Q

1) Mormons are Christians. Just as - Catholics (Roman, Eastern Orthodox, Greek Orthodox, Montenegrin Orthodox, Russian Orthodox) - PreLutheran - Lutheran - Anglican - Calvinist - Presbyterian - Anabaptist (Amish, Mennonites) - Apostolic - Baptist - Charismatics - Christian Science - Evangelical - Hutterites - Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) - Methodist - Pentacostal - Quakers / Religious Society of Friends ... Just to name a handful of the hundreds of Christian denominations... Are all Christian. Including us. Mormon is our church's / members' nickname Our Church's full name is a bit of a mouthful, which is why most shorten it to LDS or Mormon But we're still Christian. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints Mormon.org | What is the Mormon Church and Religion? Q

LOL... Mine has cost hundreds of thousands, though! The actual wedding was only about 8k. Most of that was the photographer. I think the average in the US is apx 25k-30k Okay... I got curious and looked it up! Average wedding cost: published numbers on the price of a wedding are totally inaccurate. Okay. If you're in Alaska, it's about 8k and in New York City about 55k, and everywhere else is in between. It's all the side effect of that wedding which added up Q

Nope. The underlying pattern here, is addiction, not the drug of choice. Nor how acceptable the drug of choice is to society. Most people can masturbate or have sex ... And not be sex addicts. Most people can exercise ... Without becoming adrenaline junkies. Most people can drink & take medications responsibly... Without becoming addicts and alcoholics. A smallish subset of the population can & will become addicted. A smallish subset of the population will NOT become addicted, but be self medicating/self regulating a neurological condition (2 subtypes of ADHD & Adrenaline go hand in hand, for example), &/or be under a doctors care following either a lifestyle that promotes more normalized neurochem, or takin medication which more normalizes neurochem. The high that athletes get, can be as physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and socially damaging as the high any other kind of addict gets. It can also be a healthy motivator. Just as medications (aka drugs with good quality control) can be healthy. It is not the substance itself (pick your neurotransmitter), it's the motivation behind it. Not everyone is an addict. _______ While I get that you are trying to make a substantive difference between activities you approve of, and activities you don't (be it sports or sex within the confines of marriage)... It's just not that simple. Not with neurology. And not with a whole person, who is more than just physiology, and more than just ideology. To jump out of addiction for a moment, here's another problem with laying ideological reasoning (like sports or marriage are healthy, while drugs and sex outside of marriage are not) across the board: Take sex with a stranger versus sex with one's spouse. Given your paradigm, being raped by your spouse is healthy. Yikes. Right? No bueno. But regardless of how well it meets both people's physical, spiritual, and emotional needs... Sex with someone who was once a stranger is not. Are these opposite ends of the spectrum? Absolutely. Just because they most clearly demonstrate the flaw in the reasoning. In reality, there's a whole lotta grey areas. Including, but not limited to... Sexual addiction within a marriage, sexual anorexia within a marriage, sexual abuse within a marriage, regrettable sex within a marriage (I don't know anyone who has been married for an extended period of time who has not had bad sex from time to time in their marriage.), meaningful sex within a marriage... Et cetera. And I haven't even gotten to sex outside of marriage. I picked 2 examples out of dozens if not hundreds. The grey areas, the variation, is hugely substantial. Marriage does not define what makes sex healthy. The people themselves, do. And people are darn complex. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally. Spiritually. Q

Even one's OWN kids can drive one to handing go them off and sobbing in the bathroom. And OPKs are about a zillion times harder. Seriously. Actual number. Zillion. You won't mesh with every kid ever born, nor every kid at every stage of development (the 3yo you're paying for patience form can be the 6yo you would take for the summer, the 9yo you won't even share air with, and the 13yo you'd adopt in a heartbeat). Of course, the upside with OPKs... Is that you CAN ask for a release or transfer. That's not a failure. That is an honest appraisal of the situation, and looking out for the best interests of all involved. Q

There's a pretty good mix of Born-LDS & Converts on here (as well as susper-stellar-Others from various faiths or none). Myself, I'm a convert of a few years. Welcome. Q

If it was, it would be. If it were, it could be. But as it isn't, it's quaint. For as it is, it ain't. - Alice in Wonderland, musical "Twas Brillag Rag"

We don't even own paper scriptures. Electronic ones are free... And when we joined we didn't have the money. Since then, there has seemed little if any point. I thought I'd be the last person I the world to convert to eBooks (as I'm super tactile), but while I still love tactile books, I love reading more than I love paper. I read everything on my tablet. From curling up in bed at night, to taking notes in a textbook, to news, to musical scores. I couldn't afford to do 1/10th (possibly 1/100th, ugh, honestly) of the reading I do in tactile format. I certainly couldn't carry it all with me. As far as handwritten notes.... LOL... I take handwritten notes (with a stylus) on my tablet in ProCreate. And the LDS Gospel App has even better note taking (for highlighting, underlining, typed notes, etc.) than even Kindle. <grin> And it's free! And has not only all the standard cross references between books, but also conference talks (which One can watch or listen to!), articles, manuals, etc. Shiver. That app just twitterpates me. And to combo handwritten, typed, etc... I can set up a slideshow by doing screen grabs of my handwritten notes & the relatvent scriptures (or manual pages etc.) & hose notes, so I can just flip from page to page. Then save the whole thing as an album. Q

Besides, as everyone knows... Real Men wear kilts. Q

I often gripe. Like: "Seriously?" With or without invective. I figure God is pretty used to being the "I wish to register a complaint!" Box. Conversely, I share funny things (in part to make up for the griping), kick some gratitude around as they pop up (from gorgeous vistas "Wow. Thanks, G.", to friends & loved ones & events & all the "Thank you for ______." From the life of my kids ...Right down to periodic "Thank you for plastic." (Sterile, amazing, life saving plastic). I, personally, am very careful not to ask G or the Spirit for things. As I usually get what I ask for. Just not the way I wanted it. So I save asking for things as a last resort / have done everything in my power first. I'm also fond of meditative prayer. Other people pray differently. Some, for example, do 2 grattitudes and a request. Or have other set patterns. While some people gripe about patterns, I disagree. Patterns aren't a bad thing, necessarilly. They don't work well for some people (just going through the motions) But for other people they're transformative, wow, amazing. They can be used to immediately "drop into gear" / invoke Pavlov / go from secular land to spiritual in a blink. It's not what I do, but I've seen far to many people be able to to have any doubt at how effective it is. Be it having a set pattern of things to say, or the order, or even the words themselves (while the actual prayer is silent behind the words). I don't think there's a wrong way, necessarily, to pray. I tend to sing from the heart / talk like I'm talking to a friend. And sometimes my heart is cranky or I'm vexed with my friend. And other times I've got the impulse control of a golden retriever. But the way I pray makes me feel closer to my Heavenly Father & more myself at the same time. I remember praying (with heartfelt WAITING, hoping so so so badly for Morgan Freeman to answer). In the same kind of empty room, here I am, God. I was sooooooo sad when it didn't. Then I walked outside, and ran and played on the playground. Had one of the best afternoons, ever. I look back at that moment sometimes and think "Yeah. I wouldn't want to hang out in a boring old room, either. Thanks for meeting me on the playground." Whenever I've NEEDED the Spirit in a boring old room, with nothin to do but stare at the walls, he's been there. But I far more often find the Spirit on the swings. Q

Apparently...there's a bit of an uproar amongst certain quadrants about the coke commercial played during the SuperBowl. http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=443Vy3I0gJs&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D443Vy3I0gJs I love love loved it... So was completely blown away that it's become all controversial. Hello. I'm the Queen of Hearts. If I love it, all must love it. What the heck? Nope. Seems like some folk believe the song should only be sung in English. Blink. Blink. Wow. Now I'm confused. Now if the complaints went like this : It's 'God Save the Queen'! The British National Anthem! Sing it in English! With the correct words & proper enunciation, for once! (Confound their politics! Stop their knavish tricks!) Then I might see the point. Or, you know, if our national mission was to be so hated by non-enligh speaking countries that the only proper song to sing about America is Burn Baby Burn. Heaven forbid other countries actually like us enough to sing a song about us that's all nice n stuff, much less that our own citizens sing a song about us in (the horror) languages they've studied hard to master (no larnin' fer mah keeds), or languages they were raised in. You know, since we're an immigrant nation. The whole melting pot, thing. Or even if we never translated songs into other languages, I might see the point. 'Course, since a few of the Beatles songs were originally written/performed in German, that might get interesting. Kommt gib mich diene handt. Clearly I'm banging my head on the drywall over this. Anyone else? Or are you totally on the other side of the fence from me on this? (We can lob water balloons). Q

I didn't see the debate... But it WAS one of those mind blowing things about going to college. The higher up I got in my science courses, the more I found profound religious/spiritual reverence in my instructors. While there will always be scientists who believe only in that is known, can be proved, and is concrete... Leaving highschool, I ran into few and fewer of those people. The wide eyed wonder, the bone deep awe of that which we cannot know or test for becomes more and more prevalent. As I said, I grew up in a science family. One of my uncles is an astrophysicist, dinner parties with his friends are an absolute riot (and also where I learned that counting on your fingers is okay). But while he and his contemporaries (from an even wilder spectrum of religions: Hindu, Buddhist, Islam, NA) should have taught me otherwise, I always just sort of discounted them (and others) as family friends. Since, at SCHOOL (highschool), religion & science were anathema. For me, it really took my professors' childlike excitement of the universes we have spinning in our blood streams, and barely universally held deep belief in God (or Gods, as the case may vary) for me to really take a step back, and go... Wait a sec? And then to seriously look at my own family, at all of the professionals I know, and realize that science and religion at loggerheads is a false dichotomy. God who split the day and night is an oft repeated verse in the Qur'an. Scientifically we could look at that (taking over the why) and say He didn't. We have day and night because of the spin & rotation of the earth around the sun. Nope. That's HOW we have day and night. WHY do we?(( Because, also scientifically, not all planets have a day and night. Some are in stationary orbits, or in day/night cycles that are so incrediably long (years, decades, centuries) as makes never no mind. If we could mathematically back track to determine the trajectory and velocity of every atom that spun out into our solar system, every comet and meteor, and particle flung into it, from the beginning of time,,, we'd still have the HOW it came to happen. Not the why.) So the WHY we have day and night is a spiritual question. How is hard (and basic) science. Why is unknowable. We can yank it back into science and keep trying for the why and say that without the day/night cycle life on this planet would look extremely different (if it existed at all). So WE are here, because of the day night cycle (& a million other things all being exactly right). True. If it hadn't happened exactly the way it happened, it wouldn't have happened. Check. Still doesn't answer the why. Why did it happen like that? Totally different question than how did it happen, or what variables were in play? Or how it could be different. Neither the how or why negate each other. They don't compete. Unless we make them compete. Which, IMHO, is simple insecurity. It's like when my kids throw in a totally nonsequitar argument. Just to argue. (it's time to go. But Jack ate all the strawberry jam. Blink. Blink. How does that relate to leaving? It doesn't. But you should know. He ate it. Ohhhhhhh-kaaaaaay. Check. The jam thief and the journalist both need to be in the car. Scoot.) I kinda love it when one of my e=MC2 friends starts quizzing me on my faith vs science. Dude. There is no versus. We're not postprocessionalists, here. I dont need a story to explain the how. And measurements never explain the why. We're good. 2 discrete units can exist happily in my brain. Just like I don't dive off buildings in my swimsuit, just because I can dive off cliffs into water (and they're both made of stone with a really long drop). Just like I'm an underling at one job (lowly peon), and Boss Lady at the other. I don't have to have one set of rules for every occasion. I'm human. I adapt. God gave me this brain to use. <grin> They hate that last bit. Q One of my faaaaaavorite things, if you haven't checked it out yet, is Symphony of Science. Which pulls from some of our best scientific minds, ever. Totally shiver inducing. - If you want to make an apple pie from scratch.... You must first.... Invent the universe. - The beauty of a living thing is not the atoms that go into it, but the way those atoms are put together. - We are a way for the cosmos to know itself Carl Sagan We are all connected: To each other, biologically The the Earth, chemically To the rest of the universe, atomically DeGrasse Tyson

I loved it! Q

Even if you were the only person to ever feel this way, ever... Jesus would still feel it. The Atonement is like a still place in time, where everything that ever was & everything that ever will be compressed into a single moment. A rather long, and unimaginably uncomfortable moment, granted. Although pain so great one bleeds from every pore hints at the unimaginable quality of the pain & suffering of all people that ever were or would be. Which means yours. And mine. And our grandchildren's grandchildren. And our ancestor's ancestors. Not just, everything except what Mike Lebowski or Birgette Olufsen goes through. No cut off at 1624, or Sundays and holidays, or but this one is really embarrassing, so we'll leave it out. Q

We had something similar not long ago (few years ago). By adding a Ward, we actually increased average attendance by over 600 people across all the wards. Even if only 1/3 came, 100 is enough for a ward. We had slightly over half of our inactives come active. Granted, it was done with a bit of razzle dazzle... Esp for the new formed YSA ward. (Lots of notice, and getting e word out in advance, and getting people on board & setting things up, etc). But the split was very energizing. I'm not involved in the politics, leadership, or oversight... So I have no idea what it took to pull that off. But it created a lot of positive change. Q

APs post got me thinking about the many many years I spent around Mormons pre-conversion, and how no one ever, not once, tried to convert me. I played sports with their kids, came to 1001 FHE's (and didn't know it, because we had those at our secular house, sans prayers... Their kids came to ours, as well). Went home on Leave with LDS friends, made pancakes and played with their little bros & sisters in the park... Just lived life. I'm sure I had a few invitations to church on Sunday, but as none stick out, that means no one tried to pressure me after a happy thanks, but no thanks! I didn't convert until 15 (cough, 20) years later. In all that time, I've been threatened with hellfire, called a slut/whore -even of Babylon a few times- & every other bad thing by many other religions. Fear mongering, hatefulness, and threats may be amusing, but all they otherwise do is warn me away. Okay. Check. Another group to avoid like the plague. Thank you for the heads up. Even after converting, when I had to miss sacrament for work, the general assumption was that I must have a good reason. I just love it. The patience for the Spirit to work in his own time. The general assumption of intelligence. The respect shown others for their choices. I love many many things about the church (cough gospel). But APs post reminded me about all the times friends, and their families, had stayed their tongues (talking with them post conversion, it was a LOT), and just shared the gospel by living it. Love that. There are other things, too. But this was what jumped up in my heart and started dancing this morning. How bout'chall? What are some things you love about the church? Q

I suspect you stayed your hand wisely. Clearly someone is grieving. Even being LDS doesn't mean that I don't lash out at people in grief. Nor is my mind the most open when I'm in pain. Beware the wounded animal. No matter how well intentioned, other people's religions don't allow me to hold someone I've lost/bring them back when all I want is to see them sleep, have a rousing argument, complain about Cheetos staining the carpet, laugh, hold hands, or any of the things I wish I could do for them in that moment. I'm sure most of us have had that experience. When other peoples attempts to lessen our pain, merely increase it. So, for my part, you done good Lady. Sometimes silence is the best gift. And sometimes not pushing is the most proselytizing action out there. KWIM? I think you listened to your heart / followed the spirit. Or instead of backing off, you would have continued with your first impression. Q

Science and religion answer two completely different questions: How & Why? Science answers how something works (even when we ask why, we're actually describing how. Like "Why do we bleed?" And then we start describing how the circulatory system works, and platelets, and the immune system. Science answers how.) Religion answers why. It's when religion starts anwering how (Apollo drawing his great chariot across the sky, or when witches were burned at the stake for "causing" plague), and science starts answering why (not repeatable! No process! Aargh!) that we end up with pure craziness. So...For myself, and my very scientific family (doctors, and engineers, and researchers oh my) our science and religion never conflict. As they answer those 2 totally different questions. Q

Ha! It's the men in my family (predominantly) who bake, as well. My dad, my brothers, my son. I'm okay-ish, but it's kind of like grilling. I may be able to cook some mean food over a fire (or bake halfway decently) but if I get the chance to SIT? And let THEM do it??? Oh, honey. Pass the lemonade, while I curl up with this book! Q

A sense of humor. I usually get docs I already like to recommend their friends. Birds of a feather, and all that. Even when moving out of state, I always hit up all my favorite people for their favorite people. As doctors often attend school (& residency, intern, etc.) in various locations... As do their friends... I can almost always get a recommend of someone nearish where I'm going (or am). A few months ago I picked up a case (recurrent) of pneumonia in Boston. So I called my son's pulmonologiat, who gave me a recommend of someone he knew in Cambridge. Who, in turn, gave me a rec for someone in Boston. When I'm having to cold call, though, I usually ring up hospital administration, and offer to stop by with a case of donuts to trade for a short list of the best doctors in town. "Great doc, even better sense of humor" is usually a very short list. Nursing units (like surgical preadmit, and others) are another great resource. I've done both. Usually depends on the attitude of the person who picks up the phone. I've tried just stopping by with a box of pastries, but that tends to not work quite as well. I think it puts people too much on the spot. Giving an hour's leeway tends to go over best. Enough time to get some others in on it, not too much time to start feeling guilty. Similarly, quiz anesthesiologist about who are the best surgeons. But always always always bring donuts. Chocolate (& custard filling) makes the world go round. Q

Hatred is an easier place to work from than disbelief. Because you actually already DO have to believe / have belief in order to hate. Q

As far as schtuff to do... If I actually need alone time, and it's miserable outside, I plug them in. xBox Kinnect is pure Awesomeness!!! Unlike the Wii, you can't cheat and just flick your wrist, so if I want them moving but the furniture in its original condition, then they're dancing or doing battle. Barring that, a bowl of popcorn and a movie. The REST of the time? - Enlisting (I put kids to work starting at about 18mo) - Homeschool Stuff (I homeschooled for many years, so I've got acres of things to do). Q

Snort. Both sides are great at taking jokes about things that don't matter to them. But of people start stepping on a paper with Jesus's name, or bring up gay marriage, or (insert any other hot button conservative issue) then the sparks fly just as hotly as when Liberal hot button issues are made fun of. I would honestly say that conservatives are so MUCH worse, that c-hot button issues are nearly never joked about. Instead, things that conservatives don't care about (speech mannerisms, etc.) are used, instead. The thing about liberals, through, is that their beliefs are so DIVERSE (as to what is important) that there is never an angry mob phoning in to corporate, killing advertising, or rallying boycotts at church. Instead, 90% of them will be laughing! right along with all the conservatives! at the 10% being made fun of. Until it's heir turn. Which means that ANY hot button issue is fair game, and that in any issue, the 10% will be screaming about it (but without enough collective power behind them to make the network ban certain issues). I'm reminded a lot of The Daily Show's Colbert (back in 2004? Before his own show) when he got a whole group of liberals at the election basically going for each other's throats (over what was most important). Conservatives are cohesive. Liberals are like herding cats. Says the midliner. Q