Quin

Unless you're an athlete. Or anorexic. Or on medication that suppresses your appetite. Or trying to gain weight. Or, or, or, or. Similar exceptions with exercise (on bed rest for a high risk pregnancy, sick and needing to rest, etc.) But I'll agree with the rest :) Q

Everyone's already said my answer (nunya... Right or wrong, it's not your business it's mine & I take full responsibility for it) BUT... I have a VeggieTales song stuck in my head "Message from The Lord", that every time I read the title of this post, it just resurrects the durn thing. Right along with Bob The Tomato using his pausish voice saying that "That's.... Between yoooooooou.....and. The. Loooooooooooord." Which may well be from an entirely different video. My head. It's stuck in my head. Aiiiiiieeee. Q

Oh haaaaaaaaaaappy daaaaaaaaay...... I. Have. Health. Insurance. Q

Since you're 27 & not 17... I'll share this bit: I didn't tell my parents as it was absolutely none of sir business. My religious choices are (and were) not up for debate, nor did I care to seek their counsel in this matter. I did tell them, afterwards. After I was sure, and baptized, and attending. But it wasn't a big thing. I think it was a brunch invitation I asked if we might do Saturday as I had church on Sunday, or some such. Brief conversation ensued. If you were a child, I would say that you would absolutely need to tell your parents. As you are not, I say that the choice is entirely yours as to whether you do, or not. Q

The "we can handle that" was about the rules the missionaries have to follow. It's been mentioned, but they're very black and white rules, so it bears repeating... Mostly because we kind of forget about it: Missionaries always come in pairs. They're never (for 2 years) allowed to be out of hearing distance of their companion They strive to never be out of sight (hearing distance = bathroom) Sister missionaries are not allowed to be alone (just the two of them) with a man. Elder/male missionaries are not allowed to be alone (just the 2 of them) with a woman. This is protection for both themselves (who are generally very young, but it applies to older missionaries as well), and for the people they visit. If they have to meet with a single man/woman... They HAVE to bring along a 3rd (at a minimum). This is often a member from the church/ward. Or another pair of missionaries. Or their supervisor. One way to get around this rule that happens sometimes when an area is short or very busy, or when an investigator doesn't want to be hosting 3+ people in their home, is to meet at the church on Sunday. Investigators are often taught lessons in the lobby area or one of the Sunday school rooms. There's still 3+ people involved at a minimum... But it can be less overwhelming to be in a Sunday crowd for those who feel outnumbered 3:1, and less overwhelming for those who feel invaded by having so many in their homes. Course, it may just be that the 3rd man rubbed your fur the wrong way (personality conflicts happen). If that's the case... Just like with the above... Ask! :) Either to meet at the church, or if there is a different 3rd they could bring. (There is ONE man at my ward who sets my teeth on edge. Just one. Can't stand him. Out of maybe 150. So that's the guy who got assigned as my home teacher Figures. Anyhow, since I can't stand him, I talked to the bishop, and he'll be replaced soon in a way that doesn't hurt his feelings (he's a good guy, but our personalities are oil and water)... And in the meantime, we meet at the church. If I actually hated him, he'd have been replaced immediately. This way is the way I chose when I went and talked and explained, as I have no desire to hurt him & it allows him to save face, even if he knows I don't like him. The church is really flexible about most things / can find a solution that works for everyone. As someone else said, they have rules to follow, and you have a valid concern. There are a couple of options available so that the rules can be followed and your concerns taken care of. All my best, Q

Okay my research peeps and random information generators... Is there precedent in other religions for similar building projects? Not the mall, there's all kinds of that, but residences? Specifically this kind if high end sort? (Meaning ignoring habitat for humanity, halfway houses, etc.). Let's also ignore all of the Catholic Villas, manses, and castles, etc., that house clergy, esp as most of those are ancient. Last 100 years, only. I'm wondering about precedent for public and govt. reaction. Which is the part that makes me nervous. If it's "Sure, the Baptisits own 4 blocks in New Orleans, the Catholic Church did a high rise in Boston, etc." I'd breathe a lot easier. I'm fairly sure there's precedent somewhere. But I'm not sure where to look. Q

It's dangerous getting married in college. Completely wrecks your financial aid package. Means one person usually has to drop out and work to support the other through school. Again, anecdotally, that person is usually the wife. Who'll "go back" as soon as the husband graduates. But then it's either gradschool (usually out of state), and to stay competitive, one has to go right away... Or hubby starts working. Which tanks any hope for financial aid. New grads make squat, so they're usually in the make too much for financial aid, but not enough to pay for school out of pocket. If they DO manage to keep both spouses in school, it means they never see each other, as both have to work and be in school in order to make both ends meet the middle (and most give up "for just a few quarters" that turns into the first lot above, and it's years later, if ever). Meanwhile, in either case, the couple grows apart. Either from one moving upward (both intellectually, status wise, and financial ability), while the other stays put... Which can and very often leads to both resentment and loss of respect... Not to mention living in totally different worlds OR because they plain and simple never see each other. Two of the best known danger zones for divorce: - After graduation (I flipped burgers to put him brough Medschool is legal slang) - After "making it" (First wives club). It's not sexism. It's experience. Women are no longer going to school for the MRS degree. They're going to school in order to be hireable. To be able to have careers. We've been at this a few generations, now. So we have the odds of what getting married whilst in school does to so many. They're bad odds. Really bad odds. Pullman University actually had it's graduating married students (both graduating) stand up for an extra ovation a few years back when my sister graduated. It's that recognizably rare. If a bloke cant wait a year or two... How can one expect a lifetime? When he knows the odds as well as you? Worse, would rather _________ (impolite term) in make-believe land on the computer than be in a real relationship where you're both putting the other person's success forefront? Bullet dodged, I say. Q

Totally anecdotal: I have 2 groups of friends &/or peers (like colleagues, PTA, etc.) who are married with kids: LDS = 20s Everyone else = 40s It's like moving between 2 entirely different worlds. In my non-lds circle and at large it's school & casual dating in 20s, career & serious dating in 30s, marriage & family in your 40s. I was a statistical outlier (married & kids in my 20s). In my kids' 700 kid elementary school I was the ONLY parent in her 20's. And there were less than a dozen in their 30s. In their middle school, I'm one of 4 (yep, 4) parents in their 30s. 1500 kids. "Everyone" is in their 40s-60s. So... From MY viewpoint: Yah. LDS folk tend to marry young. Q

I'm in the "Good intentions pave the road to...." Crowd I personally hate the idea of faith alone. I've seen far too much, and far too many people, talk a really good talk... And then turn around and be awful. To avoid heart wrenching stories... Here's a totally fictional not-that-bad example: The movie Saved: Where one character is shouting that she's filled with Jesus love, while persecuting the other character, and throws a bible at her. With the other character's response being that the bible is NOT a weapon. That scene has stuck with me, because it is so indicative of so much of my experience with faith-only branches of religion. And those are the generally good branches. Then there are the "everyone but us is going to hell. So they're not real people" groups who use their faith as an excuse to treat others worse than they'd treat a dog. To be clear: There are amaaaaaaaazing, godly, wonderful people in every single religion I've ever dealt with. But it seems like the ones that require no work, attract a lot of selfish people. Quite frankly, I'm lazy. If I didn't have to clean my house in order for it to be sparkling clean, I would never lift a finger. What would be the point? So I can empathize. If a person has been taught that all they have to do is praise Jesus. Well. Why would they do anything else? But I do have to clean my house, so I spend an hour or two every single durn day cleaning the sucker. I enjoy helping people. I enjoy a LOT of the work that is required. But I often wonder if I would enjoy it, if the people who had raised me hadn't taught me that that kind of work is necessary? Because I also enjoy laying around on the beach alternating reading and surfing. And a million other things that are all about me. I wonder if all I had been taught was to have faith, if I would do the work? Afterall, if I don't need it, why do it? I was taught that I do need to work. I believe that, with all of myself. I wasn't raised LDS. I was raised in a handful of other action-based religions. For ME, the action is necessary. If I'm not willing to work, I don't belong here. And vice versa. If work wasn't required in the LDS faith, I wouldn't belong here, either. Q

Do you mean Wiccan? I googled Wigan and got zilch. Q

I HAVE to go back... Unless you do, for me! My favorite parts about South Cackilacky are all now proscribed by the WOW. Not that they weren't, before, but I didn't have to follow it before. Sweet Tea & Mint Juleps, fine tabacco & moonshine. There has to be more to the state than my memories of it. Otherwise all I'm left with are sand fleas, swamps, gators, & not so good ole boys. Q

This is one of my favorite pieces, for lack of a better word. As I've found it so insufferably true in my own life. https://www.lds.org/new-era/2005/07/wrong-roads-and-revelation?lang=eng. -written -video_______ Also, at the risk of coming of exceptionally irritating, I always forget how little experience most people have with medicine. Then I'm reminded, go on an explanation, and find I'm talking to a doctor or someone whose been living in hospitals for years with their kids. If you're one of the latter, just stop reading, now. Seriously. If you're a pro on either side (paid or paying), the following will be annoying. Save yourself the urge to throw something and go have a milkshake instead. all my best to you and yours. Q _______________ If not... And this is your first "who do I have to kill to get some answers" foray into medicine... Here's part of the learning curve you can hopefully avoid with everything else going on: Even growing up in medicine, even working in medicine, and even having my son in hospital... Tests are one of the most annoying things, ever. But it helps (me, at least) knowing WHY they take so long, and why there are so many of them. Even if I still want to pound my head against the drywall when yet another comes back negative or inconclusive. Medical testing is like soothing a baby. (And just as much fun, when they won't stop crying, and you're scared, exhausted, sleep deprived, and hurting). Most of the time, a crying baby means that they're wet, hungry, or scared. So you check those things. Still crying. Okay. Move onto the next: pain. So you check gas, teeth, and ears. None of those. Still crying. But Tylenol helps. So it's pain of some kind. So you head to the doctor. Clean bill of health. Still crying. Eventually, days and days and nights and nights, weeks, months, later.... Do you find out that someone is sneaking into your child's room and pinching them. Mystery solved! But that's NEVER the first thing you check. A crying baby doesn't trigger the - let's set up surveillance to see if someone is breaking and entering and pinching them! It triggers... Let's look and see if they're wet, hungry, etc. Medical testing is the same way. The first tests run are the most common things. The next tests, the next most common things. And the next and the next and the next. Each test rules out what it isn't, and might even shed a clue as to what it is (like Tylenol = pain), but that clue might not be enough to determine what's actually wrong. The good news is that each set of tests IS ruling out tens of thousands of things, with each round. The bad news is that starting out with 10,000,000 things it might be, down to 10,000 doesn't FEEL like progress, because you still don't know what it is. The best news is that very few people are like my girlfriend I met in hospital,,whose son was one of only 3 children in the last century to have XYZ (it's now named after him). Even so, eventually, they got a diagnosis. Even though her son turned out to BE the diagnosis, they got one. So there is an end in sight. Even when it doesn't feel like it. And most of the time, even when you're still in testing, (vexingly though it may be) treatment plans are often part of the testing. Whether or not you respond to XYZ. But very few things have no treatment to ease suffering or help expiate things (Ebola is one of those few things, as an example). Testing Hell. Yep. 'Zactly that. HTH. Q

Before enlisting, I rented a video, and forgot to return it before shipping out. When I came home years and years later, I had something like a $6,000 bill. Whoa. Say what??? So I just let it sit. The amount fluctuated greatly (offers to let me pay "only" $1200 or $2600 or some such nonsense). My state passed a law a few year later, banning rental companies (& the public library, who was also notorious at charging $500 in late fees for a $6 paperback) from charging more than the intrinsic value of the item. Apparently some lawmakers had some overdue things as well. And took the ridiculous assertions as I did. As petty scams and extortion, which should be illegal. Q

I'm confused. Isn't knowing something exists, believing in it? Or do you mean you believe, but do not worship/practice? Or do not understand? Or do not agree? Or....? I mean, I know a lot of things exist that I don't participate in. Cannibalism, for example. I also know a lot of things exist, that I would participate in, if things were run differently. Like I'm not British. British people exist, I'd happily take on dual citizenship, but that's not available to me. There's quite simply a lot of things out there that exist, that I have nothing to do with (by either accident, or choice). I believe in these things. Whether or not I agree wih them. Q

Welcome! Q

I should add... Tithing is only one SMALL part in required for a Temple Recommend. Keeping one's other covenants Classes & ongoing learning Regular participation The LDS Church is a very action-based religion. Judaism is similar in that regard. In order to convert to Judaism, one has to study seriously for 1 year, and meet several requirements before being allowed to convert. We have a similar system (apx 1 year of serious study, along with other requirements, before being eligible for a temple recommend)... But we allow conversions to happen first. Then the preparation. Curiosity is not preparation. Much as we've all felt it! (Either as converts or kids) Q

The only way to become a member is through baptism, although one can attend as a non-member for years, decades, life even (many people marry outside the church. We don't require conversion prior to marriage. As such, while many do not attend on Sundays, many do. As non-members. You don't have to be a member to attend church on Sunday). One of the covenants of baptism is to pay tithing. Ipso facto, if you've been baptized, and are therefore a member, you've agreed to tithing. Which is 10% of your increase. Meaning that certain things don't count (those living off student loans, or on credit cards due to job loss, etc... Typically pay $0 tithe. Because 10% of 0 = 0. Loans aren't an increase. ) Tithing, however, is voluntary. You could be making a zillion dollars and pay 0, or be skint broke and pay 0. It is not a legally binding contract. The church can only accept money freely given. It doesn't take. There is no automatic deposit, no monthly or yearly contact. It's an envelope that you fill out every 2 weeks, every month, every quarter... Whatever. The tithe is the same amount for everyone. Whether you make a zillion a year, or zero. 10%. People also typically pay on a monthly basis... But as I said, some people pay weekly or quarterly. So if you make 120k a year, lose your job,a nd make 25k per year in your new job You don't pay on the 120 month after month. You pay on the 25. Tithing adjusts as one's means adjust. Up or down. It's NOT an "Ill pay x amount this year" It's I'll pay 10% of my increase. Like taxes. It's only valid on money you've actually earned, and some things are exempt. Unlike taxes, no one comes after you if you don't pay. Clearer? Q

Ditto... Very few people buy eggs that aren't already contaminated with salmonella. Most places I've lived, the farmer takes the eggs to the market or supermarket about once a week. Then the eggs go on the shelves to be sold. From that point, they're good for several months. Here, though, eggs go to giant warehouses (twice, the mega-farms warehouses, and the distribution center warehouses) and sit for a month or two, then to the market, where they sit for another month or two... Until they are within one month (and often 1 week) of expiration. So far gone that many eggs will half float when submerged. Yay. 3-4 month old eggs. Whoops. Distracted. Anyhow, salmonella transfers very very easily. While eggs are sitting in the warehouses, being moved by semi-truck, moved in the store' scold storage... Salmonella transfers like crazy. So not only do we have old eggs, but old eggs we can't eat raw. Outside of this country, though, most eggs can be safely eaten raw... And are. Over rice. In sauces, dressings, etc. Here, we have to store our old salmonella contaminated eggs for the few days of life they have left in them in the fridge, and then cook them. Or we get sick. ((On ship, we seal eggs in wax. Shells are porous, and sealing reach eggs in wax gives you a 6-9mo shelf life. Crazy.)) Q

History of the Royal Society | Royal Society I've ended up studying about these guys ^^^ & Wren in several different classes (science, history, literature, & sociology), as they're pretty pivotal across several fields. So reading yours makes for an interesting tie-in. Q

You cannot buy salvation. We come together in the chapel. Which is where we go every Sunday. Temple isn't like a Cathedral... It isn't just a very large church, where some people worship every Sunday, others come for holidays/special events/etc. Temple is where one goes, often solitary, knowing non one there... Nor will you meet them again... To make additional covenants. It's not about fellowship. Although groups often go together (set up by the RS at church every couple months), or a husband/wife may have a date night at the Temple... But it's not a social function. Church/chapel/meetinghouse/stake center, I believe is what you're thinking of with worship & fellowship. Something you may not be aware, as well, if you haven't attended sacrament.... Is that we don't pass a basket every week (or ever). Or have an alms box. Nor does one submit their tax returns and get instructed as to the amount that one is "supposed" to donate (my grandparents left their church -denomination withheld- because of that practice. They were supposed to donate 30%. Others were 'supposed' to donate 10-50% or even more). Other churches one "buys" pews (and therefore the right to sit there, with front pews running into the tens or even hundreds of thousands of dollars). I'm not saying any way is better than any other... Just shaping that churches need funds from members, and go about it in a variety of different ways. Some DO say that you're buying salvation. We don't. Because we don't believe you can buy salvation. Q

I always end up with HALF a sacrament! I like your way better. Q

I'm so sorry Seashell. There are several of us on here who are divorced. Although all of our stories are different, I'm sure most of us can relate to the awful awful prolonging dance of things getting just enough better to keep us in longer than we should be. Similarly, I know a lot of long term healthy marriages who do, or have done, a similar dance, but with things getting better instead of worse. The confusion & doubt as to the best course, and which way that dance is heading, is often even more painful than staying whatever course has been chosen (marriage or divorce). Q

If you feel alone & vulnerable in your home... Just ask to meet them at the church on Sunday (or Wed evening is also busy). Or the library. Both have private rooms so you're not feeling all exposed in front of strangers, and both are public places. Heck, even a coffee shop has stuff we can drink or nosh on. And welcome! Q

There are different levels of approval needed. - Most people go through their baptismal interview with the missionaries. (First the look-see with your missionaries, and then another conducts the formal,interview) - Some get it kicked up to the Mission Pres. - A few (typically former gang members, and the kind) get kicked up at far as Salt Lake leadership. Don't lie. Part of the baptism/clean slate precept is based off of honesty. You can't repent for something you won't admit. I've led a pretty wild life. And by wild, I mean it got kicked up a level or so, as most of the "bad juju" boxes got ticked. It probably helped that most of my hard living was done and over with 15 years before I converted... But I'd still done those things, and lived that life. It was MY life. Then. Living differently doesn't erase my past. It changes my present and my future. If I'd lied about my life, then I wouldn't actually be living differently. And I wouldn't be repenting it. I don't go around advertising everything all the time. That would be insane. But I also don't try to hide it. Pretty useless trying to hide things from God, and pretty self defeating trying to hide things from priests. Q __________ ETA... Just glanced over at the link, which didn't give the list we went over. What I mean by bad juju boxes are things like "Have you ever killed anyone?"