Silhouette
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Posts posted by Silhouette
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But if we bless the lunch, and the same food is still on the table for dinner, do we need to bless it again? What's the situation when it comes to blessing left-overs which have previously been blessed?
I know someone who changed the "standard wording" when giving a blessing on the food. Instead of asking Heavenly Father to bless the food, he would say "I bless this food". When I asked him about this he explained that as a holder of the Priesthood, he could bless the food, and therefore didn't need to ask Heavenly Father to do it, and suggested that it might be wrong to ask Heavenly Father to do something he said we could do ourselves.
Regarding blessing the food "again". The food is still there, isn't it? No one stole it. It hasn't gone bad, has it? Your enemies have not poisoned it, have they? It's still nourishing, isn't it? It will prevent your going hungry, won't it?
There are myriad reasons to bless the food "again", or at least give thanks for it. You could request that it "continue" to bless you.
I see no issue with "vain repetition" here, as long as your heart is sufficiently meek and humble enough to realize that the food CONTINUES to be provided by God.
As with pretty much everything, it's all about intent.
It's sort of like tithing, to me. Some argue that tithing has already been paid on such and such an amount by someone else, so they question whether or not it's necessary to pay tithing on that same money "again".
The truth is that tithing isn't about scorekeeping what has or hasn't been paid on an amount. It's about whether YOU keep the commandment of tithing, or are you going to try to slide by with the excuse that it's already been paid on this amount.
Same with blessing the food. We are thankful for it once. Does that mean we are not thankful for it the next time it satisfies our hunger and gives us strength?
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Silhouette,
I'm so sorry for what you are going thru. Only you can decide what you can handle but I would honestly prefer to live in a shelter then deal with that.
There are two things which helped me in my struggles with my own kids
I Don't Have to Make Everything All Better by by Gary Lundberg
and
How to Hug a Teenage Porcupine by Dr. John L. Lund
Both taught me that my efforts need to be focused on Love and I can't make things all better, and I'm not alone in wanting my family to make better decisions...I have the Creator of this Planet on my side. So I don't need to do all the heavy lifting. I can let some things go.
These things go to how we deal with our spouses as well.
Anyway, big hugs from the other coast.
Thank you for your kind words, hugs, and suggestions. I'll look into obtaining these books.
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My husband and I were very active when we first met and in the early years of our marriage. I was in the Relief Society Presidency and he was Elders Quorum President. The kids came along, and we stopped going when they were young because it was such a battle every Sunday to get them to get ready and attend. They absolutely hated Church. Hated their classes, and hated us for making them go. My husband baptized each of them when they were 8, and we all promptly became inactive. Fast-forward to present. Both kids are inactive still, they drink and have no idea of moral standards and despise organized religion. They have no tolerance for me attending Church and the duties and demands that my new calling entails. I've started attending again these past several months and received a new calling last week.
My husband drinks every night, watches porn, lies, keeps secrets from me about my children and how they are doing because he agrees with them that it's none of my business, hasn't touched me in any affectionate way in over 7 years now. No hugs, cuddles, or kisses, no hand holding, no kind words, no empathy or sympathy about anything that concerns me, and sex has been non-existent for at least 7 years too.
There has been zero support for me for the demands of my new calling (Primary Secretary), and he allows both our children to abuse me verbally and emotionally. Once my son shoved me and knocked me down and I called 911 because I was afraid. My husband got on the phone with them on the house phone and told them I was lying. The police came and threatened to arrest ME for lying and trying to file a false report.
He is impatient and selfish, and views the Church and members with contempt and hatred.
If I had the means to take care of myself financially, I would be out of this hell-hole faster than you could blink.
As it is though, I must endure because I have nowhere else to turn, unless I wanted to be out on the streets homeless.
I'm trying to be a good Mormon by accepting this new calling and attending regularly, counseling with my Bishop, etc., but as the saying goes, "It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys."
This might be awfully harsh, but it's the God's truth: If I had it all to do again, I wouldn't. Not with him.
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I respectfully disagree with some of this. Why would the missionary assume the person asking was a dimwit who wouldn't be able to understand what she was saying without having read the Book of Mormon first? Why would she assume he didn't have an open heart? Quite the contrary; some Gospel background and basic beliefs ought to be taught before asking an investigator to read the Book of Mormon.All I can say is be patient:
Sometimes, people on the internet with an axe to grind try to attack these missionaries and use these missionaries as a means to do that.
What you did was the equivalent of someone on the internet contacting a Priest and saying they have some honest questions about things like Papal Infallibility and the abolition of St. George or Purgatory and admitting they hadn't ever read the scriptures.
The Savior did the same when asked about marriage in heaven.
In this case, she wanted to be able to have a discussion with you that allowed you to understand what she would be saying, and that you would have an open heart when you did so.
I apologize that you felt slighted by this. It would never have been the Missionary's intention.
Before I was baptized, I tried reading the Book of Mormon and absolutely could not understand it at all. I didn't know who the people were that were in it, I did not understand where they were supposed to have lived... I hadn't a clue about anything in it. I had picked it up at the age of 12 from a street board that the local Church had at the mall. I admired it and thought it was "pretty", so the lady told me I could have it. No preaching was involved at all. So I was totally lost when I tried to read it.
It took me calling the Church 3 years later and asking for missionaries to come, before I finally understood what the Book of Mormon was all about. I think that if things unfolded the way the OP describes, that missionary was very much in the wrong and was very insulting. There is no reason a missionary should hesitate to answer a question as straightforward as the one the OP asked.
I'm sorry also that he felt slighted, but it sounds like he had every reason to. It sounds to me like he WAS slighted, and that she assumed he was stupid to boot.
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I second Silhouette. This type of obsessing (not that you necessarily are) can be more damaging than beneficial. I know cause I've been there. It can get to a point where its hard to enjoy life cause we have a fanatical obsession with trying to be perfectly obedient. Theres a line of obsession that need not be crossed when striving to be good. Forgive yourself and move on. Good luck!
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Sounds to me you are doing everything in your power to do what is right (you cant control random thoughts that pop into your head). Remember, we're human and imperfect, you're not going to be able to prevent these bad words from entering your mind. I think you should feel great about yourself because you choose not to say them or dwell on them. Good job! And IMO you are of course forgiven :-)
I agree, you cannot control random thoughts that pop into your head. The same thing happens to me, and I don't worry much about it. I think that if you voiced these thoughts, then yes, there would be something to worry about. But since you apparently do not, I think you're fine.
Also, and this is just my opinion, you might be making things tough on yourself. You only listen to Christian music on the radio, for example. But they don't play Christian music at Church dances. Not that the music at these dances is inappropriate, it's just that there is definitely some "wiggle room" which opens up more possibilities that you might not have considered.
You also mention that you only read books that are wholesome, which is fine, but are you being too hard on yourself in that area, too? For example, my sister-in-law and her husband are of a fundamentalist faith, and think just about everything is a sin. For example, they never allowed their children to watch or read the classic Cinderella when growing up, because it has "magic" in it, and magic is "of the devil". That's just one mild example of the fanaticism in their family.
My point is that it's fine to do what's right, but one should not see boogeymen everywhere one looks, including random thoughts that you have no control over.
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No, this is not how the Church deals with honest questions. I am so sorry you had such a negative experience.I've had an interest in the LDS faith for a while now and today for the first time I logged onto the Mormon.org 'chat to a missionary' website. I did so because I kept hearing conflicting reports about what Mormons believe, so I thought I'd go ask someone who is an official representative of the Church.
I asked about the afterlife and how their understanding of Heaven differs from what I grew up with (mainline Christian). She said Heaven was a place to grow and become more like Heavenly Father, etc. She asked me why I was asking and I was very honest and said that I keep hearing conflicting reports, so I thought I'd come to a missionary and ask. She asked what I'd heard and I mentioned the idea that people can have kids in the afterlife, she said this isn't LDS doctrine she had heard of and asked where I heard it. I read it in an artice on the BYU website called 'Eternal lives, Eternal Increase' so told her so.
She then became really defensive and asked me if I'd read the book of Mormon. I said I'd read a bit, but not all of it. She then said I should read the Book of Mormon before reading anything else or asking any more questions, because any questions I have will be answered in the Book of Mormon. When I asked if I was allowed to ask questions about the religion she said "not until you've read all of the Book of Mormon. Then she said she wouldn't talk to me anymore, and that I should come back to Mormon.org and chat after I'd read all of the BoM.
I wanted to argue after that because I felt like she was being pretty rude. I mean, those nice young men that knock on people's doors don't wait for people to read all of the BoM before trying to convert them. I've never been told before that I'm not allowed to ask questions until I read a massive book first. I didn't argue though, that's not what I came for, and more to the point the missionary closed the chat before I could say anything else.
Is this normal? I mean why even bother having a 'Chat with a Missionary' function if all they're going to do is say "if you've got questions, read the Book of Mormon and then we'll talk". May as well just link straigh to the BoM.
If a newcomer comes into my Catholic church and has questions we try to answer as best we can, we don't say "Read the entire Catechism and then we'll talk". That's just ridiculous. Really not getting a good feel if that's the way your Church deals with honest questions...
Certainly no one is required to read the Book of Mormon before asking questions, although in the course of missionary discussions, you might be asked to read and ponder certain chapters and verses of the Book of Mormon in order to further understand a concept you're being taught. When I was investigating the Church, I loved being given reading assignments from the Book of Mormon.
As to your question about eternal increase, it's always been my understanding that yes, we will indeed have our own offspring if we attain exaltation in the Celestial Kingdom.
There is an excellent website that you can go to, to ask questions about the LDS faith. It's called askgramps.org. It is staffed by knowledgable members who enjoy helping people (members and investigators alike) find answers to their questions about doctrine. The site is lovely and easy to navigate.
I hope you will not let your bad experience with one unpleasant missionary deter you from seeking the truths you desire to know about the LDS faith.
Please try again with askgramps.org. Also, your local LDS missionaries would be pleased to help you in your investigation, of course.
Please continue posting here and keep us informed of how you're doing. Despite what your bad experience might have led you to think, we truly care, and wish you the very best in your investigative endeavors.
Best Wishes,
Melanie/Silhouette
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We always go to my husband's parents' house, about 45 minutes away. My husband is Chinese, and his parents always make a huge meal featuring dishes from both American and Chinese cultures. They make enough food to feed an army.
There is usually a small crowd of us, but numbers vary depending on whose kids are home from college for the holiday. This year there will be 3 from my household going. My daughter flies in later today. My son is staying in Hawaii and having Thanksgiving with his girlfriend and her family.
My husband's sister and her family will be there, but not sure if her two older kids will be home from college or not. They have a younger son who will be going with them for sure.
My husband has younger twin brothers who will both be there unless one of them has to work or something. Neither of them are married or have kids.
It's a nice, cozy little gathering. After we eat around 1:00 or 1:30, the twins usually head to the living room to watch football if there's a game on, and if not, my young nephew will watch a movie or something that he brought.
We all end up in the small living room, some of us on the sofa or recliner, with the rest of us sprawled on the floor in various stages of food digestion...The parents will not let anyone help them clean up after the meal, so they stay in the kitchen cleaning up and packing 3 sets of full meals for each of their kids' families to take home later. They are dead serious about not letting anyone help with the cleaning. I tried one time when my husband and I first got married, and was strongly rebuked for it. Not sure what my mother-in-law was saying because she was speaking in Chinese, but she was clearly angry. So I sat back down and have never tried again since then. She won't even allow her own kids to help.
So we talk a bit, watch a bit of tv, share the newspaper....pretty soon my mother-in-law comes in and asks if anyone wants dessert. It's usually pumpkin pie a la mode, and we protest that we are too full from lunch but we have the pie anyway.
The early evening sneaks in, and we can smell good things from the kitchen again. One by one or in small groups we make our way to the kitchen again. This time it's a very flavorful thin soup with chicken and some sort of Chinese fungi in it. The soup is completely clear. I don't know what the fungi is but it's wonderful. We gather around the small tv in the kitchen, some sitting at the table, some standing, and watch the Chinese drama or comedy that my in-laws are watching. Everyone laughs at something on the show, and I laugh too, even though I have no idea what just happened because it's all in Chinese.
After the soup, the families start to drift off one by one, after Mom has made sure we all have our food to take home with us. We all say goodbye, and mention about how we will see each other again at Christmas, when we will gather there again.
Thanksgiving is a lovely time in my family, and I have much to be thankful for, indeed.
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Ok, I went to Church and was sustained and set apart today as the Secretary in the Primary Program. The position entails:
Consulting with the presidency to prepare agendas for presidency meetings. Attending these meetings and taking notes, and keeping track of assignments.
At least quarterly, compiling attendance information and reviews it with the Primary President. Submit the information to the Ward Clerk.
Making sure that the Primary President and Ward Executive Secretary are aware of children who will soon be eligible for baptism and who will soon advance from Primary to the Aaronic Priesthood and Young Women.
Helping the primary presidency prepare an annual budget and account for expenses.
Assisting children, teachers, and parents as requested by the primary presidency. Monitoring classes and maintain reverence during sharing time. Also assigning children to give talks in upcoming sharing times and inform the childrens' parents of the assignments.
Being on standby to take over classes when a teacher is absent.
Arriving at Church early to set up chairs and prepare the Primary room for the kids. Rearrangeing the room between sharing times of the smaller children and the older ones.
Helping maintain reverence during the combined opening excersises.
Lots of work, and I have no computer. Today was my first day in Primary and I've already come home and put three meetings and a baptism on the calendar. All within the next 2 weeks.
It was exciting to be in Primary today, if a bit hectic. The blessing(s) when I was set apart were incredible and reassuring. I can do this, it's just going to take some diligence and effort on my part to learn everything and figure out how to make reports and programs for baptisms and such without a computer.
There was no indication today that these people did not want me there, and I didn't let on that I knew. So.....
Fingers crossed that it'll all work out.
- Anddenex and classylady
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My feeling is its your house, lounge in what you feel comfortable. I had plenty roommates walking around in their garments, it never bothered me.
I don't think it's a matter of whether it bothers anyone or not, but rather of having respect and reverence for the sacred articles that garments are. But I couldn't find anything that says we shouldn't lounge around in just our garments, so I guess it's not doctrine or anything. I guess it comes down to the wearer's discretion on what they feel is appropriate.
Similar note, briefly off-topic. As a young woman in the Church, it was taught from the pulpit in our ward that we should never let our Scriptures touch the floor, but that something, if only a sweater or some such, should be placed for the Scriptures to rest on. Even a ward bulletin or something should be put down first. The reason given was that the Scriptures held the sacred word of God, and that it was disrespectful to put them on the floor without some appropriate, if only symbolic, way of "supporting" the Scriptures. It's not doctrine, but it made sense to me, and I've done it ever since.
Same with garments I guess, at least in regard to lounging around in them.
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Iggy would probably be catching less flack if she didn't come in and counsel someone else to drink coffee. Read her initial posts it's not, "Coffee and tea are against the Word of Wisdom but based on discussion with my Bishop we feel it is justified due to my personal circumstances, so I partake and am still temple worthy. Dahlia go talk to your bishop and see if it's justified in your situation." It's, "Dahlia, drink your coffee. Just don't drink it scalding hot. "
Good point.
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I don't know if this has been mentioned yet, so I apologize if it has. I'm too lazy to read the whole thread right now.
If you can get something called MeTV, they have nothing but older tv shows such as Lost in Space, Colombo, CHiPS, Emergency, Mr. Ed, and others like those. We enjoy it, and I've never seen anything inappropriate shown on it.
Another great one for old shows like that is Antenna Television, which shows things like Dennis the Menace, F Troop, and others from that era.
Both of these are usually carried by local stations. MeTV is all we watch on Saturday night anymore because they have "Sci-Fi Saturday Night", which is a lineup of Batman, Wonder Woman, Star Trek (The original series), Svengoolie, a host show that presents old black and white horror classics such as Dracula, Frankenstein, etc. Last night it showed the old Don Knotts comedy horror classic The Ghost and Mr. Chicken. After that show comes the old show Lost in Space, and there's one more after that which I think is also science fiction, but I can't recall the name right now.
Maybe we need to get a life, but you can find us parked in front of the tv watching MeTV every Saturday night.
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Hello, and welcome to the madhouse.
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I think that acting on homosexual feelings is not of God, and I do not support same-sex marriage.
That being said, looking back on my childhood and the way I was abused both physically and emotionally, I would have much rather been raised by a loving set of same-sex parents than the horrible heterosexual couple that I was born to.
I have no idea how to reconcile the above two paragraphs. I do know this much though: If I were a parent giving a child up, and I had a choice of whether or not my child was put in foster care or adopted by a loving same-sex couple, I'd go with the same-sex couple.
I guess I really am of two minds about this issue. No idea how to get the two ideas together though.
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I usually *use* asterisks for emphasis.
Hmmm, might be a good idea. Might have to try that. Thanks for the idea.
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Thanks for your advice and comments. I'm being sustained and set apart tomorrow. I'll be able to tell you a lot more about what the calling is, and how my first visit to the organization went after I get home from Church.
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Why not? Since when do bishop's have the right to dictate which commandments we are and are not meant to obey? I mean, sure, it's their place to sign the recommend or not. Obviously no one else can challenge that. There's no reason to not challenge the very idea however, or whether the bishop should be doing such a thing.
Are we soft on this because it's "just" coffee? Would you say the same if it was, say, adultery?
Moreover, and more importantly, I am very much in a position to state unequivocally that a bishop granting an exception or not is irrelevant to our responsibility to God to keep our covenants. And I will not shy away from such.
The fact of the matter is that if a bishop is granting a so-called exception to someone allowing them to attend the temple in spite of their unwillingness to comply with their covenants, that bishop is doing them a disservice by allowing them to believe that their obedience is not that important after all, or connected to there temple worthiness. Shame on such a bishop! If, indeed, this bishop and stake president has made such an exception look at what they've done to poor Iggy who now believe she can willy-nilly do as she wishes concerning God's commandments, wresting them according to their own interpretations, desires, and struggles, sin a little, eat drink and be merry, and if God beats me with a few stripes....etc., etc... I feel obligated to stand up against this idea, in spite of possible offense given. It may be too late for Iggy, but heaven forbid others believe the idea and start also making excuses and taking such a cavalier attitude towards their temple covenants.
I am, frankly, surprised that no one else seems to be willing to stand up against this. Do we really not understand the sanctity and sacred nature of the temple covenants we make. Do we really treat them so lightly?
I totally agree with you. No person has the power to excuse a Church member from keeping their covenants that they entered into with God. I'm pleased to stand with you on this matter. Something about this whole story just doesn't fit.
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Am I the only one worried about someone wanting to know how to bold and emote?
:evilbanana: Hahaha all I can do is
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If you have access to a computer and can read/reply to this you ARE rich.
I have no computer, so I come in on a cell phone. Maybe I'm middle-class?
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I agree with Silhouette in asking for new teachers. There are people who love home teaching and visit every month. There a a few pairs in every ward. Then there are the rest of us and there are some that will never go. I personally have a phobia that makes the contact difficult - not impossible, just difficult. So, please don't judge those who are not regular. Regular HT are actually fairly rare.
One point of the HT is to bring your concerns back to your leaders or bishop. If they aren't doing it, you should.
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THANK you, and amen. I haven't voiced it until now, but my thought on this whole thread is that the OP is looking for an excuse and free pass to continue a sinful activity, while trumpeting that "The Bishop said I could still go..." as justification for entering the temple unworthily.I wouldn't care if it were tea or coffee or gum drops, if I felt like I couldn't control it or do without, I will treat is like an addiction. I had to overcome addictions to join the Church and again before going to the temple. The best way, in my humble opinion, is cold-turkey. Despite what appears to be a social norm, there are a lot of folks who get through the day just fine without caffeine. You body will adjust and do what is natural.
And yes, I know what it's like to have an addiction and then suffer side-effects when stopping. It just requires some determination and self-control, and not making excuses for why you "need" it still.
There might be some justification if one is being tapered off a major drug while under the direct care of a physician (though they would still not be temple worthy and should wait until they are to attend)....but tea?? Come on.
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- Put emoticons in my post
- Make my text bold
I see that no one has answered your questions yet. I am sorry, but I can't help you with these questions. I have to come in on my cell phone, so I use the mobile version of lds.net. It is very limited, and any emoticons I use come from an emoticon keyboard on my phone. I can't view the site's emoticons.
I don't know how to bold anything either. I can't bold from my phone, and I can't view any option to bold that might show up on the full site.
Sorry I couldn't help, but I wanted to respond to you so you'd not think we were being snotty in not answering you.
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Yes, the Church did teach that it is inappropriate to lounge around in just our garments. I recall a talk in the Ensign about this a couple of decades ago.I've not heard that before. I don't remember anything like that in my instructions in the temple on the garment (but that was a long time ago). Can anyone point to a talk or quote about this?
I will try to find it and give the reference in an edit or another post.
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Well, upon searching, I find that we may be mistaken in our understanding. I found the talk I was thinking of, and what it said was that "The garments should not be taken off to lounge around in immodest clothing...."
I saw nothing that said we should not lounge around in just our garments. Speaking for myself only, I think that the years distorted my recollection of what the talk actually said.
I'm on my phone which doesn't copy and post links properly on the mobile version of lds.net, but I Googled "Ensign talk on lounging in garments" and it took me to lds.org straight to the article.
On a personal note, I would not lounge around in just my garments because of their sacred nature. It seems disrespectful of them to me. I'd not sit around casually in the other temple robes, and our garments are just as sacred as those are.
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Whereas I agree, I would be very, very careful to not use this thinking to excuse or justify anything. It is way too easy to get into trouble. Better to be too strict than to end up making mistakes that you will surely regret deeply.
Very well said.
:evilbanana:
A life without God
in Marriage and Relationship Advice
Posted · Edited by Silhouette
I wanted to go to an LDS counselor for both marriage and psychiatric counseling. My husband agreed for the Bishop to set it up. The Bishop did so, but one of the provisions we had to agree and sign off on was that the LDS counselors would be sharing everything with our Bishop, and keep him advised of everything we discussed, our progress or lack thereof, and any new problems that might arise.
I was fine with this but my husband refused at that point on the grounds that anything we shared should be kept confidential with the counselor and not be shared with anyone, including our Bishop.
Our counselor is not LDS and does not understand LDS beliefs or philosophies. I recall once we were discussing with her what was detrimental to our marriage. I said that my husband's being inactive was detrimental. The counselor laughed aloud and said that was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard, thereby fueling my husband's disregard for my feelings on the matter, and digging him even deeper in his trench in his battle against the Church and me.
The counselor does a great deal of harm whenever religion and the importance it has in our lives comes up. She thinks it's fine if I want to participate, but that I'm being unreasonable to expect my husband to do so.
I'm fighting a losing battle. It's my Church friends and me, ranged against my husband and children, and their beliefs, and our marriage counselor.
This new calling is going to take a great deal of time away from my home life. I feel myself drifting further and further away from my husband and children. And the truly sad part, the real tragedy here, is that the only reason I can muster to care is that I'd be out in the cold otherwise.
I guess that does not speak very well of me, either.
Anyway, thanks for your indulgence, everyone. I've derailed the topic without meaning to. My apologies to the OP.