priesthoodpower

Eowyn you are defending something you know nothing about. Move on and enjoy your day and hopefully others can appreciate my input.

Eowyn, I continue to laugh in my mind at your remote assessment of my real life experience and I honestly do appreciate those "perfect" members for their stalwart examples.

to the OP, dont beat yourself up over your dilemna with garment wearing. About a year ago I had just come home from a long day of sweaty construction work helping my Dad, I was about to shower so I took off my shirt and garment top, then suddenly my wife asked me to bring the kids home from the park across the street. So I put a clean shirt on (didnt want to put my sweaty dirty garment top back on) and went to get the kids. My Bishop just so happened to be at the park with his kids and so I went to chat with him. He glanced at my chest and didnt see the garment outline under my shirt, oh boy, his face turned kinda pale as if he saw a ghost or something. I laughed in my mind understanding that some of our members are so hung up on being the perfect mormon. Nobody knows your circumstances, just do what you need to do to be happy and appreciate the perfect mormons for the good example that they are and forget about the judging and weird looks.

Im socialy awkward, its tough for me to enjoy myself when im in a crowd...wait, I hate crowds. Whether at school, work or church Id much rather be with one friend and stick with that one person the whole time. At church that means my three friends are my three daughters (wife is inactive). After sacrament when my daughters go to class I get social anxiety because I feel that everyone is staring at me like im a loner, sometimes I would go straight to the car and take a nap until church was over. The best thing that happened to me was that I got a calling and that gave me a sense of purpose and reason to communicate with others. One good thing that helped me was to accept the fact that Im in an uncomfortable environment and to not beat myself up over it as if there is something wrong with me. I have learned that I dont need to be a 100% active participant in the ward. For example I was asked to give a talk in sacrament and I politely declined because I was in a hard time of my life and didnt feel like getting up infront of the ward, a year later the bishopric approached me again to give a talk and I felt honored so I accepted.

Where I am from it is common knowledge that you start small, build equity and then upgrade to the dream house that you want. When I was going to college in Utah/ provo area back in the early 2000's, the common knowledge was that you start off with your dream home, part of it was that homes in utah are cheaper but mostly it was all about buying on credit. I think its more sort of "keeping up with the joneses" mentality.

For some people It doesnt help to know the history of Joseph Smith and Brigham Young, my wife for one, thinks they were both false prophets.

I like your way of thinking, very complex and thought provoking. The Hindu religion could have some answers for you, reincarnation. My wife told me that she feels deeply impressed that her marriage to me is a sort of punishment for her previous life ..and through reincarnation she has the opportunity to better her next life by performing well in this life. Multiple chances of living on this earth would surely offer various situations at free will and agency opportunities.

Maybe another questions is, Does God approve of evil? Adam and Eve eating the apple was evil. Had they not eaten our world would not progress. Was it part of Gods design? yes. I have played high school and college sports, there are many levels of pride. You can have pride in your abilities as a player/team to compete and win a football game, after ward humbly shaking the hands of your opponent and giving praise to God for the experience of accomplishment (or graciously accepting defeat if you were on the losing end). The pride that I do not like is when it turns to hate. "We are going to kick their butts and make them wish they never played us". I believe that pride fuels innovation and advancement, there are many men and women in history with morals and behaviors that were "less then ideal", but their inventions and/or decisions helped to propel Gods work. If we waited around for a "Mormon" with perfect morals and values to invent something or be inspired by God to do something then we would be waiting a long time for the 2nd coming. Consider the role of our Savior and the Atonement and the ability to repent of our bad behaviors. Do the ends justify the means?

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Im going to get cremated, my ashes poured into 4 vials for my three daughters and wife to carry around on their key chains. They always complained about not having the priesthood and carrying around a vial of consecrated oil. This is the next best thing.

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Im glad as a membership we are bringing to light the details....something that my generation and even my parents generation never knew. http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865649339/Teaching-our-kids-about-Joseph-Smiths-Book-of-Mormon-translation.html

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In my case the testosterone levels did drop drastically in the span of 6 months, as you have implied I attribute it to several things. 1. Age (38/39yr) 2. Lack of exercise, I stopped going to the gym at the age of 35 3. Diet, too much fast food and soda (one 20 oz bottle a day) I saw my doctor and he said my blood levels were higher then normal and I need to be careful or Ill become diabetic I agree. As described by jojobag, porn addiction escalates from soft core, to medium, to hardcore, to weird sick stuff. Over the years I found myself following that pattern where the soft stuff was not satisfying to me anymore and so I sought out hardcore. Because i knew what I was doing was wrong and prayed constantly for forgiveness and strength, my pattern was always to get my "hit" (satisfaction) and then get out. My body wanted the instant gratification but my spirit and mind kept trying to fight it. Eventually as I hit 38-39 yrs old and my testosterone levels dropped my body did not crave those things as badly, my mind and spirit are now in control. I believe that other men that allow porn to consume their lives and see nothing wrong it getting deeper and deeper into that filth to the point where they are slaves to their bodys. At that point the body controls the mind and spirit, so much so that I believe there is an evil spirit that has control of the body. I say this after observing my father over the years.

oh I got stories, as Im sure we all do. but thats for another day.

I think God expects us to be problem solvers. Everything on this earth is given to us for our use. I dont think the first pioneers that crossed the great plains walking in freezing snow to settle in Utah are angry that Missionarys are doing the same today in vehicles that have heat/ air con. I know for a fact that my struggles with porn while on my mission kept me from being laser focused on the work. Although I planted many seeds by simply going through the motions of missionary work, I continue to testify that the majority of my mission has helped me to find myself. I wish I was able to say that the majority of my mission was spent helping others find themselves.

I may have mistakenly took your previous post as being sarcastic to my post. Fact remains we have a porn problem, My bishop told me that it is a problem in our stake and the constant counsel in General Conference from our Apostles suggest it is also a worldwide problem in the church. I can only assume that in this younger generation growing up with the internet that the majority of young males struggle with porn. We need to tackle it head on. Im not afraid of being open and honest (anonymously) especially if it helps to create dialogue and lead us to a path of understanding and hopefully one day resolution.

I dont mean to wander off topic but this is the exact reason why I tell my wife and daughters to dress modestly and not show off their curves too much because there are men everywhere out in public with this frame of mind. Heck, because I was a porn addict myself I can more easily sense when a man is using his lustful eyes. That is why I stay away from my Dad and my one brother because they are so deep into porn that they dont know how to switch their way of thinking when around my wife and daughter, I could sense by the way they look and act that they have thoughts running around in their minds. smh

Vort do you speak from experience and admit that you have not once viewed porn nor fornicated or masturbated because you were able to "control" your testosterone driven desires? if yes then your comment is well received, if not then don't be a hypocrite.

I disagree, drugs screw up your priority's and destroys your body physically, porn can do the same things indirectly but still not as bad as what drugs do to people. I agree. In my personal experience of porn addiction from the age of 12 - 39 praying did not help me get completely over it. I have served a mission, married in the temple, blessed all 3 of my kids, baptized 2 of them, all while praying and repenting to overcome my porn addiction. Understand that during these milestone events I was clean for months but then afterward slowly get caught up in the viewing of porn again, thus I refer to it as an addiction. What praying did do was help me maintain my prioritys, humble me to recognize that I have a problem and I need to continually look to the Lord for forgiveness and strength. When I turned 39 something funny happened. My testosterone levels dropped, apparently this is the age that most males bodys start to change. When that happened I completely lost the desire to view porn, heck I thought it was sick and disgusting even. My sex life with my wife did drop a little but we are still both happy in that department. I asked myself, "Why did it take a physical change (drop in testosterone) in my body for me to get over my porn addiction?". I concluded that young males have such high testosterone and this drives them to want to reproduce (Gods plan). If physical reproduction is not possible with a female companion then the next option is to masterbate and look at porn. Lets take a look at any medical ailment, acne for example. You cant pray away the pimples, you need to take medicine, eat proper foods as well as a list of other things to keep your skin protected. Why then can we not have a medicine to control male testosterone levels?

This was definately the year of the BEST. However it wasnt in the receiving but in the giving. My wife saw a gift idea on pinterest and told me she wanted the same thing for her. The husband put 12 envelopes in a box and wrapped it. In each envelope was a date night activity for each month. When my wife opened her gift and saw the 12 envelopes she cried. It was emotional for me too thinking that I have been so busy last year with work that we barely even got any date nights done. Sad to think I had to gift wrap my time for her, but glad that its set in stone and planned out for 2016.

Friction in a relationship can occur where there is resistance and a lack of understanding. Labeling her husband as a bad person creates resistance Labeling him as a sufferer of an addiction changes the perspective and provide room for compassion, sympathy, things in which this couple needs to overcome the issue together. Have you ever noticed that when our Prophets have spoken over the years, they speak with compassion and love. But the further you go down the chain to our Stake presidents, Bishops, Auxiliary leaders, Mothers/Fathers etc...their relaying of the prophets words are more emotionally charged, maybe a little judgmental? Maybe we have been socially conditioned to accept these judgements by individuals who are not Prophets, then we turn around and judge each other under the same guise? Your wife and/or local church leaders may have condemned and chastised you over your short comings which caused friction in your home but there is no reason that we need to allow that same mindset to continue for the OP. When my wife was 12 yrs old her father (non-Lds) cheated on his wife and they got divorced. My wife was devastated and in her mind built up the belief that all men are cheaters. The first year into my marriage my wife found out about my porn addiction, she was disappointed in me but understood that us men are not perfect. After explaining to her my total commitment to her and that my problem is an addiction and not a fantasy life style I desire, she had no problem being supportive of me through the repentance process. 13 years later and we are happy together, Im always repenting, we still have the ups and downs that any relationship goes through but as far as my porn addiction we did not let it cause friction in our relationship. All the symptoms you describe of what should happen to a family where the husband is a porn addict did not happen in my home and a big key to that was to really understand the Atonement, understanding that with a humble and meek heart my intentions can be good but my body remain weak, after enduring to the end no matter how much I fail as long as I never give up our Savior will make me whole. That is the joy and good news of the gospel that I needed to believe in order to get me through the hard times and prevent me from doing things that I would later regret, for example dating or flirting with other women or even adultery. There may be different degrees of porn addiction and different degrees of consequences. In my case it never got to the point where I was physically hurting someone. I also never allowed myself to get into the really hard core porn that would really screw up someones mind. ps* Although I am talking to jojobag I really am doing this for the OP to read and understand it from our point of view. I really hope and pray that any information in this thread can be beneficial to someone.

Go back to church and ask Bishop for a calling, tell him you want to serve, even if its just chaperoning the young womens activity. Forgetting about your fears and doubts through Christ like service is the best way to "Find your self".