theSQUIDSTER

Carborendum, This is indeed a sad story. From your description of your relative, it sounds to me like there is a fundamental difference between you and her, despite whatever similarities may exist on the surface. In your post, example #1 of differences seems quite telling... When you say she married someone she was sure could take her to the Celestial kingdom that sounds to me like she was making a right choice but possibly for the wrong reason. Now, don't get me wrong... Probably most of us are guilty of this quite often. We'd all be lost if it weren't for the transformative power of the atonement which can work upon each of us if we seek and continue to seek after the Savior. So... Why did she marry a man who could take her to the Celestial kingdom? Was it because she thought he'd take her there no matter what? Will any of us be dragged into a kingdom of glory? Will any of us be forced to grow or change our hearts against our will? If we go through the motions enough, will that, in and of itself, transform us? So.. Maybe she thought she'd marry a man and learn to love him...? There's nothing inherently wrong with that... Unless she just did it thinking that would be enough. Did the Spirit prompt her to do it? If so... did she continue to seek and learn how that love might be nurtured and what she might do to encourage its growth .. Or did she think she'd "arrived" once she was married in the temple.. and then gradually become disillusioned when it began to dawn on her that life wasn't turning out to be the fairytale she'd thought it was going to be? Ok.. So if I'm way off in my assessment then I'm sorry. I hope your relative comes to herself.. In whatever that may entail.. I hope that her life may become more than just a cautionary tale for someone else.. If President Heber J. Grant can pray, "bless me that I might not lose my testimony.. " that tells me that none of us are immune to the fiery darts of the adversary and that we must continually seek the Lord that our testimonies may continue to grow and not slip away from us. We must also nurture our love especially for our spouse.. In the same manner that Saint-Exupéry's little prince nourished the flower that became special to him. If we don't our love will surely wilt just like a neglected flower. Or it may become indistinguishable from other flowers which could then tempt us to wander from what once was special to us .. In such manner are both testimonies and spouses lost.

answered prayer empty tree branches filled with Christmas stars

I think someone here may have an axe to weld.... ... errrrr... grind.... ... not sure...

Online I identify as a male cephalopod... In real life I was born as a male homo sapien.. not a cephalopod.. Despite this divergence in my online vs. real-life identities I have no future plans for anything drastic like a species-change operation... Hope that clears up any confusion.. As for a more nuanced explanation... To paraphrase and springboard off of Mosiah 4, I cannot tell you all the ways we can disagree, sin, be one, be good or bad, etc. for there are many. .. Too many to list.. Discernment is obviously needed. There are different degrees of disagreement.. I don't think we need to necessarily jump to conclusions like "I don't think I agree with what President or Bishop <insert name here> said last Sunday .. Oh no! Does that automatically make me an apostate?! " i do think that there's a tendency for many of us to feel like we should have an already-formed opinion about everything under the sun.. Because that sentiment seems so prevalent in the world today. All around us there are loud voices trying to bully us into agreement or shout us down at the first hint of dissent with their opinion. By contrast, the Spirit is a still small voice. I wonder if we sometimes gravitate to the loudest voices inside us rather than listening and pondering a little longer.. In my own experience, very often The Holy Ghost will give me an initial small impression right away.. and then wait to see if I'm listening and how open and sincere I am to further revelation .. Sadly, more often than I'd care to admit, I have a tendency to stop there and say something like, "Ok, Father, I got it. I would talk some more but, <insert favorite excuse here> .. I've got things to do, I'll call Sister So-and-so next week to see how she's doing.. Maybe set up a home teaching visit.. Right now I gotta get some sleep... Well.. right after one more episode of Dr. Who... Etc.. " There are different voices outside of us and inside of us competing for our time and attention.. I think we need to be careful and not expect the Lord's voice to resemble all the other voices or work in the same manner.. Also, if we're trying to become more like Him, that probably means we need to express our own thoughts and concerns less after the manner and fashion of the world, loud and bullying, but with meekness and mildness and gentleness, long suffering, patience.. Etc. We can sometimes even disagree publicly and still do so in a manner that is respectful and honest. Still it matters who we're disagreeing with and who we're speaking to. I'd be extremely cautious about disagreeing with any of my leaders in public though... There might be an appropriate time to do so in a counsel .. But I just can't see it ever being appropriate to do so over the pulpit or on Facebook or someplace similar.. I might go to my Stake President if I had a question or concern about my Bishop.. Or go to my Bishop with a question or concern about a fellow ward member.. Or.. I might simply go to the person with whom I have a disagreement and speak with him in private.. But that probably depends on the disagreement.. Doctrinally I might kindly disagree with Br. So-and-so publicly.. Like we do here all the time on the forum.. But it still kind of depends on a lot of things...

I believe unity is crucial. I'm still working on it and pondering what I think it means. I don't believe any of us are in too much danger of becoming carbon copies of each other just yet. Look at how different the brethren are in their personalities and backgrounds.. Look at the different LDS personalities on this forum.. Are we all becoming clones of each other? Is that really something we need to worry about? I don't personally believe that the ultimate goal is to become exactly alike in every aspect of our being.. I don't believe individuality is inherently a sin. I do believe it can become an idol though. If hanging onto who you think you are becomes more important than who you might BECOME then, hearing voices that encourage you to move outside your comfort zone and BECOME rather than "be yourself," will become fainter and fainter until all you hear will be your own voice trying to reassure itself that you know who you really are and that you don't need anyone else's opinion on the matter.. Not even God's.

I just can't stand it when people are always calling some poor Jamaican albino an albinostifarian.. .. or an Italian person, who loves listening to reggae, a pastafarian .. .. or a person who can't quite decide whether or not JAH exists, an agnostifarian.. ... or .. or .. or ... .. actually I was originally going to say the word "de-lish" bugs me.. Not sure where the whole rasta riff came from...

I think where mortal men are involved that disagreements are inevitable on all levels.. including among the Quorum of the 12 and the First Presidency.. But the manner in which the disagreements are dealt with matters. How, when and in what manner we voice concerns matters. Remember, there's a reason why the church is called "the kingdom of God" .. Because, it's ummm NOT a democracy. But it's also not like any other kingdom on the earth.. As members of this kingdom we're highly favored, trusted and loved by our King. When we don't understand something we can go directly to our King in prayer. In fact He commands us to do so. What other earthly kingdom ever worked like that? None. I think where we all get tripped-up is in the command to "be one" even as the Father and the Son are. As a people and as individuals we have our moments.. But we're not there yet. Even the brethren struggle with this. We're all still practicing at being one. So how can we deal with and work through our differences in a way that will be pleasing to the Lord? First, I think we need to be very careful about what things we make public and what things we keep more private. Can we see how it's a very different thing to talk directly about our doubts and concerns with our bishop, our spouse or a trusted friend or family member than it is to voice our doubts openly on Facebook or in front of a Sunday School class? How and when we voice our concerns matters greatly. Just because we live in a democracy and have the right to express ourselves openly, doesn't necessarily mean that it's always right or good to do so. We are allowed and encouraged to express our disagreements openly in a democracy as part of the checks-and-balances that are more likely to keep the system "fair". But, again, the Kingdom of God has never been a democracy. We need to be careful to remember that. As soon as we start to treat it as though it were set up as a democracy, we begin to undermine its strength as a kingdom. The strength and integrity of the Kingdom rests firmly on the shoulders of the King. If the King has openly stated that we must be one or "ye are not mine" and "in as much as ye have done it unto one of these .. ye have done it unto me" it means we have to be much more careful of what we say and do to each other as part of the Kingdom.. Because it ultimately reflects how well we're in harmony with THE KING HIMSELF. That's an extremely tall order from our King! When we treat each other scornfully, try to exercise compulsion or usurp power and influence from each other, though such things may well all be an acceptable part of the Machiavellian intrigue and the politics-as-usual of earthly dynasties, in the Kingdom of our Lord we find ourselves at odds with the King when we engage in such actions and activities. Second, many of us have positions of great trust in the Kingdom. There's a time to voice concerns and work through differences in a semi-public forum .. It's when we sit in various counsels with our brothers and sisters. Still we need to be courteous even when we disagree. As leaders of counsels we carry the extra responsibility of leading as the Lord would have us lead, rather than as we might be inclined to lead, making sure we get our own way .. Or rather making sure that we're not just doing it our own way INSTEAD of a better way that is in harmony with the Lord and the counsel as a whole. That's a very tall order from our Lord as well! But when a counsel really comes together it's an amazing and powerful blessing to be a part of.

.. "any better than anyone else.." If by that you mean no more *loved* than any of His other children then I agree. However, foreordination of prophets and others makes the whole process much less casual than your statement seems to imply. I believe the entire plan of salvation was carefully prepared with specific individuals to play very specific roles.. The Father knowing full well who He could trust.. We can with certainty cast our full trust in Jesus at the pinnacle of this plan as our Savior. I hope nobody here doubts or disputes that... That being said I think we can put our trust and hope behind our leaders as well.. because the Son has called them and the Son has power to reprove, rebuke and even REMOVE them if necessary. How often did the Lord rebuke, Peter for things he missed or misunderstood? How about Joseph Smith? Remember we're talking primarily about apostles and prophets. It wasn't Brigham Young who called Joseph to repentance EVER .. Why? Because that wasn't Brigham's job... It was THE LORD Himself.. Through Joseph's own mouth! We have it clear as crystal right in the D & C! So, when somebody rebukes or calls anyone to repent, especially in cases of false doctrine.. It better darn well be someone who presides over that person and not anyone else.. I would not DARE to call President Monson a teacher of anything false, even if I was convinced that he was, because if I did such a thing, I'm essentially saying I'm equal to the LORD .. which, without a doubt, I am not. The Lord is fully capable of performing His own calling. He doesn't need me, or you, or Kate Kelly, or John Dehlin.. or anyone else who is not fit to even consider walking in His shoes ..

Hey, it never hurts to be thankful.. especially this time of year, right? Glad you and your family were kept safe.

I don't know if this would qualify as an urban legend.. Maybe more of an interpretation of how bad are things going to get before the second coming.. Sometimes members will talk about preparedness and that guns are a vital component because otherwise how will you protect your family's food and supplies.. The scenario of one brother taking food (at gunpoint) and or supplies from another brother because his family is in dire need. Granted, for most this would hopefully be no more than a tongue-in-cheek scenario.. I mean, hopefully such a thing would be absolutely unthinkable to most endowed covenant-keeping LDS. I guess what I'm questioning is that do some of us really think things are going to get so bad that even our ward and stake system of taking care of one another is going to break down so that we no longer belong to wards and stakes and we're all just hunkered down with our guns in our own houses and everybody else is an enemy or potential enemy?

The first thing I thought of was that it reminds me of the San Xavier mission outside Tucson, Az. Spanish mission colonial style... Very nice. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mission_San_Xavier_del_Bac

(..in the voice of Homer Simpson) "mmmmmmm... Horror movies..."

These days it seems like taking offense is more often a political maneuver than anything else.

mesquite leaves caressing prayers hidden in the wind

As long as you even have a shred of desire to repent I don't see how you could possibly be lost forever. Act as much as you can upon that desire! Some repentance processes are a life-long endeavor. Don't let Satan ever talk you out of repentance. He's the only one whispering those things to you. God will never tell you not to repent. Let go of the whole perdition thing.. I believe you're very right when you say that such a person would have no desire to repent.. Not even a fleeting desire. Because of the world we live in, you will encounter many who will minimize sexual sin and tell you it's no big deal. They will try to convince you that it doesn't matter what impulses you have and that it doesn't usually hurt anyone when you give in to them. They may even say that if you were born that way that means God is trying to tell you it's ok. It's not. Sexual sin is very serious. Please don't continue in it. Finding pleasure in sin can never lead to happiness... It only leads away from it. Do all that you possibly can to avoid sexual sin and pray with all the energy you can muster! Dear brother, my prayers are with you. Continue to counsel with your bishop. You are at the age when you should be preparing to serve a mission. If that's an option (i.e. If there are no medical impediments) then make that your goal.. to become worthy .. to prepare yourself for what could be one of the greatest experiences of your life! May the Lord bless you.

Righto! If you want ghastly then Radagast the Brown achieves that much more convincingly than Nuernberg. Vort! What were you thinking? Perhaps you need to watch your phraseology more carefully... Wait.. Are we talking about ideas, places, or fictitious characters..? Ah well.. To each his own. ..or her own.. ... As you were!

... Because Mr. Miyagi never taught us how.. only cars...

^^^^ this Seriously.. Go! To Syria... No. To Germany, yes!

I've never unfriended anyone... but a number of people I no longer follow ... don't need to know what their favorite rock band is up to or see how many silly/skanky things they've liked etc. I do have a couple friends who are at political extremes and not shy about posting... but because I'm interested enough in their occasional posts that aren't political I keep them in my news feed and just ignore the silly memes and drama.

These seem like pretty broad findings telling is no more than that people who are already troubled may be also be more likely to be "homophobic" .... Whatever that is... (Depends on who's defining it.. ) Conclusion: sociopaths are more likely to exibit traits of sociopaths than non-sociopaths. Wow.. What earth-shattering news! And now for a couple of meaningful definitions.. Homophobic: anyone who disagrees with me and my choice to live a LBGTQrstuvwxyz lifestyle. Sociopath: anyone exhibiting sociopathic tendencies (see also homophobia.). Homophobia: anyone exhibiting homophobic tendencies (see also sociopath) .. And of such vague circuitous reasoning and logic are the best propaganda and smear-campaigns based and waged..

My favorite: Mormons are all right-wing warmongers. Did you know they use steeples on their buildings to hide MX missiles inside? Also, could there be a more obvious symbol of misogyny and male dominance than a steeple? It's a phalic symbol! My response to said accusations: Sir? Or uhh, Madam? ..rather than stoop to your level and make counter accusations of, ahem.. steeple envy?..and recreating the world around you in your own image etc etc., perhaps I should instead simply refer you to the wisdom of Sigmund Freud who once so aptly pointed out that: "Sometimes a steeple IS just a steeple."

Crypto, I'm sure you already know the basic pat answers to these things... you know, that whole "turn the other cheek" thing. Easy to cite or quote... but much MUCH more difficult to put into practice! For me, there have been a few occasions where a stranger has publicly shamed me for something and I actually felt prompted to go to them and apologize.. usually in private, but occasionally in public. These have actually been much easier to do than I would have initially thought... or at least they were not as hard as I initially imagined. Sure, the people who I was apologizing to usually sneered at me with even more contempt, not understanding that I was not just saying sorry to them, but also to God and angels as witnesses. The God and angels thing makes the contempt and misunderstanding of the world so much easier to bare. The burden is lightened and humiliation turns to humility... never mind that the world doesn't know the difference. The real challenge (for me at least) is not so much saying sorry to strangers, but to friends, acquaintances and especially family... not often, but on those occasions when you know well their weaknesses and the natural man rises up within you and wants to say, "See! You're not perfect either! Remember that time when you... etc. etc. etc." Because you know them, there is the natural man inclination to want to keep score. It comes so naturally, that not only our species does it... other species do it also. It's been proven in experiments that other mammals, especially other primates, naturally keep score and have a sense of fairness. Why does he get a different reward than me when we both did the same thing? I pulled the lever and was rewarded with a rice cracker. He pulled the lever and was rewarded with a slice of mango! Well, this spider-monkey's not standing for this! I'm throwing that cracker back in his face! I should get a mango or a cucumber slice like he got... not this lousy old dried-up cracker! It appears we're hard-wired that way... to keep score. Never mind that life is not really so much about fairness as it is about learning and growing DESPITE injustice. Nowhere is that more difficult than with those who we're closest to. Ok... so I've blabbed a bunch but don't really have a good answer for you. :) What I do know is that it's difficult to attempt NOT keeping score... but trying to simply do things out of pure love. I put my wife WAY above me at this. She isn't perfect, but compared to me (keeping score again..) she might as well be most of the time. She's just so much better at loving unconditionally than me. But I'm hugely blessed to be with her all these years and I'm convinced that at least some of her good example is starting to rub off on me. Because of her in my life, I'm less inclined, than I used to be, to keep score.

All I did was read a few other articles about this. I'm not saying I would do that in my family or that I'd want to make any such thing public... That was these people's choice. What I did read is that this minister had 2 daughters and a son who he asked to make a covenant... yes, a covenant, with Jesus and him (their father and minister) that they would live lives of chastity and virtue, no fornication, no petting or anything like that and remain pure for their marriage. That's what I applaud. From what I understand, this young woman was also following her older sister's example who also got proof that she had remained clean. So, we may not agree (myself included) with how they went about every detail of keeping their initial covenant .. i.e. most of us would not feel it necessary to get a medical stamp of approval/proof... but that is what these two young ladies, the daughters of the minister, chose to do. It's my understanding that the minister didn't ask them to do that part, only make the promise to God that they would remain pure. I think it's great that the minister wanted his daughters to commit in writing, when they were 13 years old, that they would remain pure. He also wanted this for his son, but admits that his son didn't remain true to his promise. So, it sounds like these people were trying to be as honest as possible... they were just more public about it than most of the rest of us would have probably been. But, again, that was their choice. The good thing, though, is that they are mostly being good examples to others. I applaud that. People watch the kids of bishops, ministers, church leaders and expect them to live a higher standard. I think it's great that these two daughters of the minister appear to have chosen the high road and kept their promise. We might question their motives for doing it... but only the Lord knows their hearts. I hope they're doing it for the right reasons and that any public praise doesn't cloud the righteousness of an initially good and wise decision. I think we, as Christians, need to support one another of different denominations in our efforts to do good and be the type of people we know we should be. None of us are perfect .. but we of all people should know that we need to be careful in our judgments of each other. There is a lot of room for personal differences in our approach of doing good things in unique ways.

I'd like to second this. I think we're getting on a strange tangent.. I think most people who use the word "sincere" mean that there is not only honesty in intention and motive, but also honesty in ------- > *presentation* . By this definition Satan cannot possibly be sincere.. But then neither are any of the rest of us. We are ALL conflicted and contradictory beings.. Even Jesus deflected a compliment from someone calling Him "good Master" and said that only God is truly good. He wasn't yet finished with His ministry and still had yet to fully prove Himself as absolutely GOOD, which, happily, He did! So .. The rest of us struggle with degrees of goodness and badness, sincerity and insincerity.. Byron, I'd also like to second Carborendum's suggestion that you stay and get to know us. I have a very different impression of you now than when you first started posting. I'm certain there are good things we could learn from each other. I'm glad that you've decided to linger just a little bit longer than you may have initially intended. :)

spring wind a single blossom floating to the summit ... ... of the dung heap ... Ahh spring... And oh to be young again... What's that smell..?