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Everything posted by Josiah

  1. Alright, so this thread has been on my mind since yesterday. I've been thinking a lot more about what I want to do (or not do) for my kids in 20 years or so, and why. I've also thought about the role Heavenly Father has played in my life, both in spoiling me at times and in letting me struggle at other times, and His possible reasons for both. So far it seems like we've mostly been weighing the supposed financial and/or educational benefits for the adult child against the supposed detriments to their personal responsibility, character, etc. My question at this point is, could limited financial help ever be truly beneficial? Not just in the sense of helping a kid pay for things he/she wants or needs, but actually beneficial as a whole for the child's character and personal growth (a spiritual benefit)? If so, in what ways and under what conditions? And coming back to the OP, would the said benefits be reduced or changed after marriage? What think ye?
  2. I'm a college student myself, so I'd say keep on helping forever! Ok, seriously this time. I'm kinda with Jane_Doe here. If anything, getting married makes things a lot harder financially as it is, and (my opinion) probably shouldn't be in and of itself a reason to stop giving financial help. Growing up is a much better reason for that, so in a general case, maybe the phone bill and car insurance in particular should've been gone a while ago. But maybe your parents know something about him that I don't. As far as tuition goes, I feel like there are solid arguments for and against helping students handle college expenses. From my admittedly limited perspective both are probably fine, but which one's better may depend on the situation of the parents and the child. In any case, what strikes me personally as less beneficial is conditioning that help specifically on being single. I really like how my family has done it. They've helped me a little (or occasionally a lot) here and there, and they do it in such a way that I'm never expecting it or depending on it, and I get to handle the bulk of the expenses myself. They've made a very significant impact, but I was certainly never brought in on their cunning plans...Basically any help that comes is a not-so-surprising surprise. The feel of it is actually pretty similar to that of receiving blessings from God.
  3. It really does depend on what you mean by venting. Venting in the sense of using our strong feelings as an excuse to do something wrong or negative, because otherwise we would let it all out at once in even worse ways, is pretty much useless. It strikes me as having the same effect as procrastinating - seems useful for the moment but ultimately just makes the problem twice as bad when the time comes to actually deal with the issue. Venting in the sense of releasing those feelings in productive or useful ways (or at least non-harmful ones) is fine. "Whatsoever inviteth and enticeth to do good..."
  4. Exactly how you do this is between you and the Lord. Go to Him, and disregard our opinions if He speaks to the contrary. Having said that: Consider this question: Would I expect a deeper understanding of a gospel principle to lead me to sacrifice more, or less to the Lord? Why? This looks like a loaded, or even a completely rhetorical question on the surface. But I don't intend it to be. After all, compared to the Pharisaical additions to the Law of Moses prevalent in His day, Christ's teachings actually did constitute a scaling back of the requirements of the some ways. That's where the "why" question comes in. The letter of the law had been greatly exaggerated to the detriment of the spirit of the law. The Savior's teachings simplified the letter of the law (see Carborendum's post for what I would consider some great applications of that), but simultaneously greatly intensified the spiritual demands behind the law. That's the principle I would take and apply as a test here and elsewhere in the gospel for cases like this. If I thought I had found that the Lord actually expected me to pay a lot less tithing than I already had been, I would exercise a lot of caution and consider first if my spiritual sacrifice would be increasing or decreasing. Because if that's going to be decreasing, then I have a problem. ... ...or, if you don't want to bother with me mixing in my own philosophies and principles with scripture, just read this instead:
  5. I am ponderizing Omni 1:26 this week: "And now, my beloved brethren, I would that ye should come unto Christ, who is the Holy One of Israel, and partake of his salvation, and the power of his redemption. Yea, come unto him, and offer your whole souls as an offering unto him, and continue in fasting and praying, and endure to the end; and as the Lord liveth ye will be saved." If anyone has an insight or something about this verse I could be pondering, your thoughts are welcome!
  6. Ponderize, and stop making/using excuses (spiritually and otherwise). There were others, but those are the ones so far that I have felt need immediate implementation.
  7. ??? Hit the 9, then the 1, then the 1 again. "There's an emergency. It's a [insert type of emergency here]. I need help. My address is ______." Soooo much responsibility; you definitely have to be at least 18 to handle this one. I get that there's a lot of stress and panic involved and I don't mean to ignore that, but calling the parents instead wouldn't change that anyway. It's just as much responsibility to make an intelligible phone call to a parent when under that much pressure, only it's less effective. Any information they could give their parents would just as easily be given to the professionals, PLUS the people at 911 will actually know what questions are important to ask. So I'm not sure what makes calling parents "worth it."
  8. The question here is at what point the spirit is fully and permanently connected to the body. There's no official answer I'm aware of, but speculatively it seems possible that some abortions or other difficulties could occur before this happens, which could lead to the situation you describe. Then again, maybe not, considering how strongly and on what grounds we oppose abortion. Hard to say. In any case, we do know from Moroni 8 that little children and infants who die are basically set.
  9. Depends, what's the context? As it relates to the potential removal of some of Peter's writings, the great and abominable church could include whatever group(s) or organization(s) participated in driving that dispensation of the Church of Jesus Christ into apostasy. The political councils that got together and decided on their own power which writings and doctrines were "valid" come to mind as well.
  10. I hate hearing about these situations, and I'm sorry your going through it. Having said that, I'd stick it out in your current ward. Maybe a new family will come in and you'll be the ones that need to be there to make them feel welcome. Maybe you need to learn something from having him as a bishop. Maybe he needs to learn something from you. I don't know why you're there, but knowing what little I know about God, there are probably quite a few good reasons. All the above aside, it's certainly worth praying about, and possibly talking to the stake president about depending on how your new bishop turns out to be as your bishop.
  11. We have also lost quite a few "plain and precious things" from the Bible, according to Nephi. My guess is that many more of Peter's words were written either by himself or others, but were rejected by the great and abominable church, or simply lost. But that's just my speculation.
  12. Honestly, you shouldn't. Charity and forgiveness beat anger and bitterness any day. The Savior can help you more that way. As far as moving on goes, all I have is this: Turn to God and rely on Him. Give Christ time to heal your pain, because it will take time. If you haven't already, ask for help from your bishop, family, and/or trusted friends. Things will get better!
  13. I'd imagine you know from last time how much better you will feel after you confess. The Savior can heal you and help you, but you have to do what it takes to let Him. Right now, that's confession to the bishop as well as to God. There's nothing to fear. Things will get better if you do it Christ's way. :)
  14. Josiah


    Generally, you are supposed to go without eating or drinking anything. It's different if you have a health condition or other circumstances that don't make that reasonable (for example, some medicines need to be taken with a little bit of water and/or food in order to be safely used). Otherwise, you wouldn't drink water while fasting.
  15. Pretty much this. It's a decision for you to make prayerfully. If you do decide to say no, you probably wouldn't hurt any feelings if you explain the reason and make it clear you're interested for next year.
  16. Hey yjacket! I love most of the content of your posts on this thread, but I also have to disagree on this point. Yes, the husband presides over the home and the things pertaining to it, but to me it doesn't follow from that that the husband has the final say on all unresolved disagreements. Presiding can work that way, as it often does in the church due to priesthood keys, but it isn't always so elsewhere. A judge presiding over a court, for instance, doesn't have that power over a jury simply because he presides. The husband leads the discussion. He makes sure whatever decisions are agreed upon are also acted upon. But personally, I just can't see a husband having a divine right to the last word on teaching in the home, or anything else of significance in the home, unless it is yielded to him by his wife. But I admit I could easily be wrong, or I could be misreading you. I'm always open to learn if you care to elaborate.
  17. Hi TheMountain! I am very sorry to hear about this. I can only begin to imagine what it's like right now. I may not be able to give you much solid advice on this, but I and many others are praying for you and rooting for you. Your Savior understands your pain perfectly, and will help you get through this. All will be made right. And in the meantime, you're not alone. For the most part, I agree with the advice a few others have given: first get things worked out between the two of you so that you can live with your differences (assuming he doesn't come around :) ). Don't bring kids into it without resolving the issue and having some semblance of a plan. Follow your personal revelation and stick with it for the moment, but if he sticks with his "you change or it's over" ultimatum, I'd say let him follow through on that. yjacket's scripture sums it up nicely. But above all that - do what the Spirit tells you to, and rely on divine help for this one. So that's my vote, fwiw. Here's the more unique tidbit of advice I have. I'm a little like your husband in the sense that I like to approach things logically and meticulously. So take it from me: the thing we "rationally sound" types often forget is that it's completely irrational and illogical to try to ignore other people's feelings (or our own for that matter). It makes absolutely no sense to try that. The very idea that he can demand that you comply with anything from parenting methods to religion choice to face wash usage, all on the grounds of supposed logical superiority, is itself both illogical and impractical. Ideally, he'll realize this and give you some breathing room. But even if he doesn't realize it, you should never forget it. You're more logical than you think you are. Your opinion matters greatly, even when it's not laid out in a syllogism.
  18. Personally, I think it depends on whether he's involved in that decision or not. I would speculate that if I were married and had this issue, I would probably be more than ok with my wife getting support from a friend...if and only if we had discussed it together and agreed beforehand on someone we both trusted. If she talked about my problem behind my back, I would absolutely feel betrayed on a deep level. Granted, I would have little room to complain considering my own betrayal in this scenario, but it's not about who has the moral high ground or who started it or which betrayal is worse. The simple fact is that it would make an already terrible situation a whole lot worse, and healing would become that much more difficult for me personally and for the relationship as a whole. Because of that, it would almost certainly be worse for her in the long term as well. Leah nailed it. In most cases, this role would be best filled by the bishop anyway.
  19. If you take care of His loved ones, then He takes care of yours. That doesn't mean she won't make bad decisions, but following her would not change that. You will do more good for her and for yourself in the service of the Savior.
  20. Hi BladeMoses! It's good to have you here. I'm very excited to hear about your new-found convictions and enthusiasm! First off, I highly recommend you contact the missionaries nearest you and begin talking with them on a regular basis. The missionaries can be contacted here, or more reliably at local church services or through any friends you may have who are members. They will help you understand the basics of our faith, answer questions, and most importantly, show you what you need to do to build your relationship with Jesus Christ. If you do your part, God will help you know and feel the truthfulness of what you will learn and do. You are also more than welcome to attend a church service. This website will help you find the closest meetinghouse, and let you know what time the service starts. The main meeting (called sacrament meeting) lasts a little over an hour. Two additional classes are also available and last about an hour each. My relationship with Jesus Christ is everything to me. His message and gospel are absolutely life-changing, and are found in this church. I know it to be true, and I know that you can know too! It will be the best thing you ever found. There are some great things ahead for you! I wish you all the best. :) --- P.S: You'll learn the most by meeting with the missionaries and following their instructions, but if you're dying for more to look at in the meantime, I have a couple suggestions: The basics of the basics: The Book of Mormon: - alternately, you can always just get the app. General Conference (teachings of modern prophets): Mormon Messages (inspiring videos):
  21. Since my church schedule changed to the 1:30-4:30 block (uggh), I'm noticing that what I do that morning makes such a difference in my experience actually partaking of the sacrament. When I've gone to the effort to prayerfully consider beforehand my week and the week to come, the sacrament itself becomes more of a healing experience/conversation with the Savior, instead of just another helpful experience where the Spirit is present. The whole thing stays with me longer too. Now if I can just consistently remember all that on Sunday morning and do it, maybe I'll be getting somewhere... I don't know how to help your ward's youth (no direct revelation for me on that ), but based on the people I've talked to, no two people handle the sacrament in the same way. Maybe a good starting point might be to ask them the same kind of question you asked us. What ideas do they have on how they can make the sacrament more meaningful in their lives? If you ask that or other similar questions after the "interactive activity or experience" you come up with, they might just receive their own answers. After all, your question just helped me get my answer.
  22. There are many kingdoms within one higher (celestial) order of kingdoms.
  23. While I agree that it wouldn't be wise for me to offer someone advice on overcoming an addiction to alcohol, what would you say about me giving that person advice on the process of exercising faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repenting of sin through that faith, making and keeping covenants, and following the promptings of the Spirit? That's a road I have walked and continue to walk, so do I qualify to go that far? I don't understand what someone with an addiction to alcohol goes through, but the Savior does. He can take it from there, but someone has to introduce them to Him first. I believe that anyone who has learned to be a disciple of Christ is fully qualified to declare repentance in that sense. See also D&C 4.
  24. I agree with TFP that this doesn't typically happen openly (although there are definitely a few Pharisees among us, as there are anywhere). The fear of being judged still plays a big role though. Sure, nobody's likely to confront you directly on what you said in Sunday School, but will anyone secretly judge you on it? Or worse, in some circles, will they talk about it when you're not around? This fear is usually exaggerated far beyond what's warranted, but there's just enough truth to it to show that we all have some work to do. We can do much better at showing unconditional love and easing such fears while still maintaining clarity on what's right and what's wrong.
  25. This part, from a teen/young adult perspective: -Don't ask your parents to borrow their car before you have earned a license. The answer will be no. -General rule: you can only use the car to the degree that your parents can trust you. -Be willing to do your part to help maintain the car and put gas in it as needed. -Being willing to use it to drive your brothers and sisters around or do other things for your parents also really helps. -Never do stupid things with your parents' car. -The more you use the car well, the more you'll get to use it. -Always say thank you. Who knew my parents were teaching me about spiritual gifts all along?