thoughts

It is possible that financial issues also affects worthiness --- if you spent beyond your means intentionally and knowingly. But even if you do need to repent of something, all sins can be repented of. And everyone who attends church has sins. Talk your situation over with God and your bishop to resolve them. Bankruptcy is intended to help you start fresh. If you think you morally owe people money you are going to discharge in bankruptcy, then after it is over, send them as much as you can afford to do. Even if you legally will not owe anyone anything, you may still morally owe, and if so then continuing to try to do that would be honorable. If you are saying that someone took advantage of you, then if a crime has been committed, you should report that so the person can be held accountable and your creditors can get some restitution.

First, she is dating a son of God. Thinking and calling him a lose only makes it harder for you to have any influence. Second, you really don't want to make this about him. She feels loved. She sounds like she may be being isolated, emotionally abused, and gaslighted. What she needs from family isn't criticism, but some knowledge that she is competent, that whatever mistakes she makes, she can fix them (it is entirely possible that she has been done things with him that makes her feel unworthy and that she needs to be with him, though maybe not), that she deserves to be treated well (and what that looks like). Find ways to lighten her life. To help her see and live goodness and light.

Some people are afraid to retire. Some think they are indespensable. Some think their marriage won't survive. Some have secret lives that are supported by their continued work. I think you get each family member who feels like they would like more of his time to write him and ask for it. Maybe ask him to stay home from Thanksgiving to New Year, and see how that works for him. But ultimately, he will make his own choice. And if your mother wants to convince him and has tried, and cannot, then the rest of the family won't either. What about if other family members traveled to visit him when he is away?

I am really concerned about the anger. If it involves name calling or expressed in unkindness or violence, then you need to protect your children by stopping all of that. But in order to figure out whether it is to that point, you are going to need help. Your community probably has a domestic violence shelter. They have experience with this. You can tell them what is happening and they'll help you sort out appropriate responses. Your dh sounds as unhappy as you sound. He may be stuck. See if you can persuade him to see a doctor. Take all the junkfood out of the house. Make sure you are getting enough Vitamin D because your immune system is probably compromised because of all the stress. Maybe your brother cannot stand to see you in your present circumstances. Maybe your dh threatened him. But when someone doesn't act like they normally do, you ought to not speculate as to why. Just talk with them.

No, don't call her. And don't mention what happened. When she calls you, beg off whatever she has planned. Keep doing this. Be busy. (I mean actually BE BUSY: it helps to not be faking this response, and you need to be busy doing things with your family. I suspect that your wife knows you are not all in with her (whether she is intimate with you or not.)

The statement that you are working with your bishop and stake president worry me. What have you done that suggests you need to do that? The church specifically instructs its leaders NOT to be involved in decisions about whom to marry or whether to divorce. You need to make these decisions yourself, as you are the one who needs to know whether they are ones you want to make, and whether God approves of that choice. (You may want objective advice about that, but I'd get if from people who are trained to give it. Go for premarital counseling. Buy the book and work through the questions together so that you really understand each other. https://deseretbook.com/p/300-questions-lds-couples-should-ask-before-marriage-shannon-l-alder-50863) But don't get married until enough time has passed that you and he have better understanding about who you are and whether you can make a healthy family.

Your tithing should be paid as you feel impressed to pay it. It is a good thing to pay as you go along. While there are full tithepayers who pay at the end of the year, that is usually done when a couple owns a business and cannot tell how much tithing they will owe until the end. It is also exactly the recipe for disaster you fear. If I were in your place, I would tell my dh that I was responsible for tithing my income, and while I wouldn't stop him from waiting on his income, as long as I was bring in income, I would be paying it on that.

Masturbation means you are not in control of your body, but allowing your appetites and passions to control you. This doesn't mean you are evil, just that you aren't where you need to be in submitting your will to your Heavenly Father's, and learning to control this body you were sent to earth to get because it was so important to becoming like Him. It is as much a part of learning to control your body as is learning to control your tongue so i says kind things, your arms and legs so they get out of bed in time in the morning and are involved in doing things of worth and goodness. But it can be harder to control these desires because Heavenly Father intentionally made them powerful so that you would want to get married and have a family. And it is a simple fact that once you have started doing it, it will be harder to resist doing it for a long time. Not necessarily forever thought because real repentence will get you to the place where you have no more disposition to do it. But that will require you control your thoughts better than you have controlled them in the past. And you will have to stop thinking that the worldly view of masturbation as a needed relief is (a) accurate or (b) an excuse. An advantage of discussing it with your bishop is that you can get someone to whom you can be accountable. It may help you resist the temptation. Whether you confess it now or after you've conquered it, you will be asked about it during your missionary interviews, and some bishops do in your worthiness interviews while a teen. Each time you meet with him without confessing, you will feel less than honest and peaceful. Your call.

You need to do a lot more than apologize. You need to send a note, flowers, be solicitous of her, serve her, and make it up to her. Apologize to all of the rest who were there. Ask them to thump you if you ever start something like it again. And never do it again.