Grunt
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Posts
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Everything posted by Grunt
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Joint ownership is important. I don't have a farm. We have a farm. We share in the work and share in the rewards. Each of my young children asked for and accepted elements of the farm that they are personally responsible for. It's rewarding to see them taking responsibility on their own.
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You think the lack of ribbons creates couch potatoes? Odd. My children don't sit on the couch and don't get ribbons. Hmmmm.
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It wasn't explicitly declared as you stated it. You're being dishonest and changing the narrative. It was declared that parenting has been successful. You couldn't refute that, so you tried to exchange parenting with culture. Now you're saying I claimed parenting was mimicked between generations, which is something I never claimed. Gentle parenting is nothing new. Attachment parenting got a bad wrap so as the author YOU cited claimed, a better name was needed. People have been laughing at it for quite some time. It likely gave us the entitled snowflakes we're dealing with now. That's a recent occurrence, oddly occurring on similar timelines. These are the opinions of people who have actually parented. That's important, too. It's easy to regurgitate the things you read online with no real understanding of the application. That's why I value experience. You don't have to. The rest of your questions have answers, too. Some of them are answered in previous links. Others are mind-boggling, because the answers are obvious to most who have actually raised a child. Most of your questions, though, fall in line with what I stated above. They are a dishonest changing of the narrative. Others are specific examples that you keep ignoring or put little emphasis on when intellectual honesty tells us the author upon which you place the weight of your argument CHOSE that example as an illustration of the mode of parenting you propose. Now you claim to know more about what the author meant than the author itself? That's bold. I've given the support necessary. Personal experience. You don't need to like it. You don't need to accept it. But in a discussion about parenting styles, of which I've repeatedly claimed (regardless the number of times you've tried to change my narrative again) there are NO absolutes, everything stated is opinion. You have no experience upon which to form an opinion. You talking about great ways to raise children is like me talking about the pain of childbirth.
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Someday, maybe.
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You haven't received that from anyone here. Your passive-aggressiveness came out when I disagreed. In fact, I've said the opposite of what you've stated here.
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Additionally, what is "scientific evidence", anyway. Parenting is so much more than a scientific template. Everything goes into it. Tone, environment, culture, genetics, and the like all play a part in the development of a child. I could try to follow the same template as you and experience different results. I also value the opinion of someone who has actually raised children more than those who haven't. That doesn't mean I agree with them, but they have experienced it so we at least share the knowledge base. For example, I saw a child of about 6 launch into a tirade in line at a fair this weekend, calling his father names. His father ignored it until he saw me looking then told the child that isn't how they behave in public and he was going to throw him into the river if he kept it up. He then let his kid have what he was ranting about. I completely know what he's facing and or likely feeling in that moment, but completely disagree with how he handled it. My belief in which template should be used in parenting is probably unlike others. Why? Because my family is unlike others. I'm different, my wife is different, and my children are different. People ask me how my children sit still in Sacrament and listen at their young age without something to entertain them. I don't know how. They're good kids and we've raised them well. These are lessons and skills that will serve them well as adults. We've adapted our parenting style to what works for us. I do know this, though. Kids need rules. They need discipline. Kids will be cruel to each other if allowed. It is up to us to shape them. Allowing them to believe there aren't swift and horrible consequences for some choices they may make in life is doing them a disservice.
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You're most welcome, random thread-starter requesting input from random strangers on the internet.
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Good insight. I was stuck on the example of forcing a baker to make a cake for a wedding. I suppose, given the current laws, that wouldn't apply to a sealing.
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I'm one of the unwashed. They don't want me out there.
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You repeat that, but I've stated it isn't true. I absolutely understand the ideas behind it. They're summed up in that quote, just as the author intended. I've also supported aspects of that philosphy when others have described their practice. As a whole, however, my rejection of it doesn't indicate a misunderstanding of it. I could say the same about your understanding as well. When combined with your lack of parenting experience, the fact that you ignore the provided example reinforces my belief that you don't quite understand the concept you are promoting. My views are valid because I've supported them, explained them, and lived them. It's easy to espouse views you have no experience with. All irrelevant to the discussion, but it does lend credibility to the discussion. When my favorite parakeet describes philosophies she's employed it carries far more weight than philosophies someone has read about. That's all.
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Interesting. I wonder what actions the church would take.
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Home teaching seems like a calling I would enjoy.
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Never mind. It looks like I found my answer. Your parental expertise apparently comes from reading. That isn't a bad thing and it's good you take an interest, but much of what I felt I knew about parenting went out the window when I actually became a parent. The execution is much different than the theory. I do see why you were unwilling to answer the question, though.
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Perhaps. I believe there is more to it than that. Regardless, that is a recent occurrence, particularly when compared to thousands of years of parenting. Again, I think "gentle parenting" would contribute to that phenomenon more than subtract from it. "Do you know how tired I am of cleaning your crumbs off the couch?" Fair enough. Do you have children?
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Ahh. I think we're confusing two different things. The first is parenting styles, which was what the comment you took issue with was addressing. With regard to parenting styles, I think society has been successful. With regard to parenting topics, which is what I believe you are trying to attribute to my comment, we've failed. As I pointed out, though, that isn't a result of the technique or style, it is a result of the decline of morals and culture through the content of parental teaching. I asked this earlier but may have missed the response. How old are your children?
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Now you've crossed the line.
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Of course what? You suggested we haven't done a good job parenting and presented a list of examples to support your statement. I pointed out that those aren't the result of parenting styles, but the failure of society and our culture. What exactly are you trying to say, then? I'm not quite sure.
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I believe that is why having a father and mother is very important in a family unit. In my family, my wife and I have different personalities. We are united on rules, but not always in the enforcement of them. For example, I tell my children to do something once. "Feed the dog". The dog gets fed. They know I'm only going to say it once. My wife, on the other hand, will keep reminding them. The children know they don't need to act on the first order. They have at least two, maybe three before they have to stop playing and actually do it. I believe, based only on my own relationship and that of my mother, that this is, to varying degrees, one of the differences between men and women. I have nothing to base that on beyond observations in my family and speaking with others. Half the time she doesn't even realize she's doing it.
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I think we learn much from our parents, including what NOT to do. I'm very aware that my children adopt my habits and learn from my actions. I try not to practice "do what I say, not what I do" with the exception of some things that come with adulthood. My children learn from me, even when I'd rather they didn't. It's one of the things that caused me to seek out church. I want to teach my children to be a better person than I am and that comes from being the example.
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Those are cultural and moral issues that won't be corrected by "gentle parenting".
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I'm off today because of Columbus Day, but I typically am up by 0500 every morning.
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We do the same thing with some areas. Some of our rules are conceptual. Children are expected to behave a certain way. That isn't clearly defined for every example, but they know the concept. In some areas, we have straight rules. Your shoes come off when you enter the house. Your school shoes are not your barn shoes. If an adult asks you to do something, the correct response is "yes sir/ma'am".
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That's what I mean. YOU would have read about it because you care about giving your children the best education you can for the betterment of them and the world. I read more books than I care to remember when we decided to become parents. The resources are out there. What I was trying to say is as a society we've done a fairly good job raising our children.
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Out of curiosity, how old are your children?
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It absolutely has. Additionally, the people haven't been successful likely aren't the type of people to read something like this to learn HOW to be successful.