JoCa

LDM, in most cases, calling pornography an "addiction" is a bastardization of the term. Very, very few individuals who use pornography have "severe trauma" upon stopping usage. Typical withdrawal symptoms: Cocaine: http://www.acadianaaddiction.com/addiction/cocaine/symptoms-signs-effects#Effects-of-Cocaine-Withdrawal Caffeine: https://www.caffeineinformer.com/caffeine-withdrawal-symptoms-top-ten pornography/sex addiction: http://www.psychguides.com/guides/sex-addiction-symptoms-causes-and-effects/ Someone can absolutely be a pornography addict, just like they can a gambling addict, a hoarder or any other host of addictions. But the large difference is that the addiction is in the mind. Cocaine and caffeine are physical substances that actually change the body itself and when addicted to it the body in addition to the mind crave it. Other addictions are where the mind alone craves the addiction. People say pornography is more addicting than crack cocaine . . .totally false why b/c cocaine has a very real physical component where pornography does not. I understand that we like to use the term addiction to scare people away from using pornography (if you use it once you will become addicted!!! gasp, horror, etc. it will totally destroy your life!!!). But it honestly goes beyond that, using pornography is different than taking a cigarette puff and then being addicted to smoking. IMO when there is no physical component to the addiction, blaming the behavior on dopamine receptors is just an excuse and in fact denies the very real power of Christ to change who we are inside. Pornography use and why people do it . . .it's not hard, it's not complex . . .it's very, very simple, yet psychologist try to make it out to be more complex than it is-they get to write PhD studies on it and get paid to do it. Individuals use pornography b/c it makes them feel good for a brief period of time-it allows them to escape from whatever pain, suffering, bad feelings they have at the time. If done over a long enough time period it becomes an automatic habit. And with any habit it takes a force of will to change and especially with a habit that you enjoy. B/c there is absolutely 0 physical addiction to pornography, it can be stopped in an instant. All it takes is the recognition that this habit is destructive to the soul and when that recognition, sinks deep into the heart, it will stop. The reason why it takes this recognition is b/c the evil outcomes of pornography in general are not easy to see. Unless one has the spirit of discernment, the porn user easily could be your HT, your EQP, shoot it could even be your Bishop. It rots the inner core without much visible outer effects. Most "addictions" have very bad outcomes, gambling, smoking, cocaine, etc. etc. It is very plainly obvious what those bad habits will destroy. Pornography . . .not so much. Unless one is truly an addict, one can lead a perfectly normal life being "addicted" to pornography . . .that in my book is not addiction-it's a habit in sin. Calling it an "addiction" gives people an excuse "well I'm addicted to it I can't help it" total utter hogwash. No you like and lust after a sinful habit; there is nothing stopping you from doing it . . .you just like the sin. When that full recognition happens, that the stake of one's soul is at risk . . . change will happen, just like it did with Alma, Saul, etc. (Not that one needs to go to that level, but as a metaphor the change through Christ will happen). And honestly if we can't have that conversation that sometimes, in fact many times people like and enjoy whatever sin it is they are committing then I daresay we can't have conversation about Christ. B/c the whole Atonement, His very existence is about changing the natural man (which likes and enjoys sin) into a godly man (which abhors and hates sin). In fact it is the reason why homosexuality, transgender, etc. are making headway into the Church b/c in many instances we as Saints are denying the Power of Christ to change our inner most being . . .b/c instead of Christ changing us we were "born that way" or we are "addicted" or there is some "thing" that is outside our control from which either only man can give us relief (in the form of pills-psysco-therapy, etc.) or which man cannot give us relief and we are stuck. For many, a complete denial of Christ's Power.

Oh I totally agree with that. However behind every sin is a reason why, sometimes it is important to know the reason why, sometimes it is not. The ultimate responsible party is the person who commits the bad behavior regardless of the reasons why . . .however we would be foolish to not at least try to understand why-and more and more studies are demonstrating that the reason why individuals get into addictive bad habits in many, many instances deals with a lack of emotional connection to other individuals. Why in many instances to people get drunk . . .b/c they'd rather drown away their sorrows in a bottle of beer. Why do some men use pornography, b/c they'd rather deal in a fantasy land that makes them feel (even if only temporarily) good vs. thinking about the problems either in the life, marriage, work, etc. Addictions in large part deal with an individuals inability to deal with the reality of situation and to develop healthy coping habits for problems. Many times the addiction starts at a low point in someone's life with an inability to control or deal with a particular situation . . .if they haven't learned appropriate and healthy methods of dealing with it over time they can develop an addiction so that every time they feel a certain way they crave a "hit" to help them cope with it. This in no way is blaming the bad behavior on someone else, it's simply recognition that addiction is complex and that to break the chains of an addiction requires an extreme amount of force of will and God's grace through the Atonement for that individual to #1 fully stop the addiction and then #2 fix what is broken inside and then to develop appropriate methods to deal with the problems in life. I'm sure there are people out there who just enjoy the addiction . . .but my guess is that for most destructive, unhealthy addictions something like above occurs.

Exactly, if you really want to solve the problem you do what is necessary to do so. Matthew 5:30 30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

To the bold that is false. The problem most women do not understand with pornography is that it's not their problem!!!! Say it, repeat it, believe it. What is their problem is if they are not being a wife (and being a wife and being a husband are roles one plays). So if a wife is not being a wife in the marriage then that is a problem and many times (in fact I think most times) men use pornography to make up for a perceived or real lack of emotional/relationship connection in their marriage. I would add a word of caution "making him feel like #1" is vastly different that "he is number #1". One is a statement of fact and the other is a statement of emotion. If the emotion does not meet the fact then he will feel the fact isn't true, if the fact does not meet the emotion then he will know regardless of anything you do that the fact isn't true. The fact that you are asking if you should just end things tells me that the emotion and the fact do not line up. If your husband is #1 in your life, you wouldn't even begin to ask the question. Regardless though, I will say absolutely kudos on trying so hard to make him feel #1. I'll also give you the dirty secret about any addiction that most people in addiction don't admit. If you truly want to quit, you will quit...come Hell or High Water you will quit. All the therapy, 12 steps, etc. all those things are is a mechanism to get people to the point where they truly want to quit in their deepest most inner soul. Once they get to the point where they truly in their heart desire to quit, it will happen. The main mechanism by which individuals have this change of heart, i.e. a change in desire to no longer do sin, is by the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Christ's Atonement isn't just about Christ taking upon himself our sins. It is the literal power to change one's heart to no longer desire to sin. To your question about should you leave. Ultimately the decision to marry, divorce, etc. is between you, him and God. I will say that even though people throw Addiction into justifiable reasons for divorce. No modern prophet, apostle, stake president, bishop, etc. has ever said that addiction to pornography is a justifiable reason for divorce. The only two justifiable reasons are adultery and abuse. Finally, do not act like a mother to your husband with regards to this issue. Tell him it is his problem, he will be held accountable before God for his actions and addictions that he has, you will support him in his battle to overcome it, but ultimately you are not the responsible party-he is. He needs to act like a man, own his problem and then through the grace of God and through His infinite Atonement with the help of God and Christ overcome it.

I don't like a lot about Trump, but there is plenty I do like and I one of the things is that he isn't afraid to invoke God nor say this country is a Christian nation with a Christian heritage.

So sad . . . http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2017/10/18/federal-court-rules-world-war-memorial-cross-must-be-torn-down.html Despicable; cultural Marxism, atheism and secularism is taking its toll. Just more destruction of religion. I'm convinced in my lifetime we will see real persecution of true believers in Christ as in scriptural putting people to death types.

Sounds a little bit like you might be going through a bit of a mid-life crisis (it can come at earlier ages for women). Individuals experiencing a mid-life crisis may feel:[12] a deep sense of remorse for goals not accomplished a fear of humiliation among more successful colleagues longing to achieve a feeling of youthfulness need to spend more time alone or with certain peers a heightened sense of their sexuality or lack thereof ennui, confusion, resentment or anger due to their discontent with their marital, work, health, economic, or social status ambitious to right the missteps they feel they have taken early in life[13 There are plenty of things you can do that still allow you to explore, grow and achieve without doing something sinful. Consider yourself extremely blessed that you have committed no major sins in your life. Sinning only leads to a path that you will wish you hadn't taken. I never went through a wild phase in my early years. But what I do find interesting as I get older is that just about everyone who did go through a wild phase, pretty much stops if they want to have any semblance of a decent life. Generally those who don't stop are using it to cover up facing up to their real problems and overcoming them. You can absolutely live an enjoyable fun, filled life without sinning yet at the same time without acting like you are in church 24/7. Life is meant to be enjoyed, so enjoy it. A quick example, my only real "wild" side was that as a teenager every now and then I would go to rock concerts-U2, 3rd Eye Blind . .. etc. (they could be a little raunchy with some drugs) I went on my mission and when I came back none of those things really appealed to me. Now that I'm a little older, I actually like going to rock concerts . . . but I'm very selective about where I go and what I do. The bands I see don't have any swearing in their lyrics, they don't talk about sex,drugs, rock&roll. They might swear a bit on stage, generally not too much (thankfully). Generally speaking it's just some good heavy metal with some very talented musicians, that can really rock out, they sell alcohol (but I don't drink and I've never seem someone totally hammered at these things); people smoke outside (I've never smelled marijuana at these places). Generally speaking, I could take my kids and I wouldn't feel bad (it would be too late for them). So maybe you just need a change of pace. For a flavor, think .. . ah love it:

Which is why I will never live in San Fran. Great my salary would double there, but housing would triple . . .nope not gonna do it. And if you are really looking at the root cause of why housing in San Fran. is so high you simply need to look at one thing. The Federal Reserve. People with access to the money that the Fed. creates will in general have higher incomes which in turn drives higher housing costs. San. Fran. how much money is pouring into that area, just by the buckets. All courtesy of the Federal Reserve system through the commercial banks. Same with DC; housing is driving by Federal Gov. money. In fact if you look at just about any city that has extremely high housing costs it is driven by either large capital inflows via commercial banks, large capital inflows via the Fed. Gov., land-locked or geographically challenged areas. It's also amazing, everyone seems to have forgotten the '08 housing bust and everyone is complaining about housing prices. Probably time for another crash. https://www.advisorperspectives.com/dshort/commentaries/2017/07/26/2017-update-median-home-price-and-salary-required-in-27-major-cities If you look though while I believe housing prices are elevated and will crash it's not as though only dual income earners can buy a home; whoever believes that is just quite simply believing a lie.

I would probably consider many puerto ricans "white" and many of them mestizo; it probably really just depends on the individual. But I consider most Argentines "white". There are a good bit of mestizos and indigenous but a significant majority of the population is of direct Italian/Spanish/German ancestry.

I agree . . .we shall see.

You mean Rules for Radicals: "Power is not only what you have, but what the enemy thinks you have." Power is derived from 2 main sources – money and people. "Have-Nots" must build power from flesh and blood. "Never go outside the expertise of your people." It results in confusion, fear and retreat. Feeling secure adds to the backbone of anyone. "Whenever possible, go outside the expertise of the enemy." Look for ways to increase insecurity, anxiety and uncertainty. "Make the enemy live up to its own book of rules." If the rule is that every letter gets a reply, send 30,000 letters. You can kill them with this because no one can possibly obey all of their own rules. "Ridicule is man's most potent weapon." There is no defense. It's irrational. It's infuriating. It also works as a key pressure point to force the enemy into concessions. "A good tactic is one your people enjoy." They'll keep doing it without urging and come back to do more. They're doing their thing, and will even suggest better ones. "A tactic that drags on too long becomes a drag." Don't become old news. "Keep the pressure on. Never let up." Keep trying new things to keep the opposition off balance. As the opposition masters one approach, hit them from the flank with something new. "The threat is usually more terrifying than the thing itself." Imagination and ego can dream up many more consequences than any activist. "The major premise for tactics is the development of operations that will maintain a constant pressure upon the opposition." It is this unceasing pressure that results in the reactions from the opposition that are essential for the success of the campaign. "If you push a negative hard enough, it will push through and become a positive." Violence from the other side can win the public to your side because the public sympathizes with the underdog. "The price of a successful attack is a constructive alternative." Never let the enemy score points because you're caught without a solution to the problem. "Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it." Cut off the support network and isolate the target from sympathy. Go after people and not institutions; people hurt faster than institutions. Satan is very willy and powerful-not as powerful as God or Christ . . .but he tries do be. If you don't think he isn't trying to do his best to take down the Church, it's members, and destroy God's work . . . At some point Christ will return and set everything straight; it is in Him and in His return that I put my trust, not in the arm of man.

I think you are absolutely right for this issue at this time. I think you might be right on had their been a coalition against homosexuals in BSA 4 years; but at least had their been a coalition it would have been a clear delineating battle, rather than this mealy-mouthed 4 year stagnant slowly going down the drain-hole approach that has taken a lot of time, effort, energy, money. Sometimes in life, it is good to draw lines in the sand. In some ways it's disheartening . . .the Church has had 4 years to prepare for this. I'm sort-of surprised they do not have a replacement program ready to go. But ce la vie.

It's not so much that things are being brought to light in modern times. What is dark is turning into light. 30 years ago a openly homosexual leader in BSA would have been ousted in 2 sec. flat. That was something dark being brought to light. Today it is celebrated. What once was dark is no longer dark. Pedophilia man . . .it's coming. I will probably see it gaining acceptance in my lifetime. I understand you think the world is all great and that every generation complains about the previous one. And yes there is a lot of good things, but if we truly believe we are in the "Latter-days" then it follows that the massive wickedness of the last days will become prevalent.

Unfortunately yes and IMO a large part of it was their own doing. If the US Catholics and the LDS Church banded together formed a coalition 4 years ago and held their ground with regards to homosexuality, this would have never happened. Maybe the Chuch did that, I don't know, but everything I read says no. The Church acquiesced and acquiesced and acquiesced. And this is the natural outcome . . . if you don't take a stand you will eventually stand for nothing. Anyone who had half a brain could have and should have predicated this was the outcome 4 years ago. I can think of a few other issues that the Church in modern times has acquiesced on and eventually if it's not stopped some very, very big changes will be in the running. Mormon 8 comes to mind.

It's all about the money. Not gonna happen. BSA started down this road 4 years ago when they decided money was more important than principles. They choose to serve mammon over God. You see the dirty secret with the actual why BSA allowed homosexuals in the first place came down to money. BSA corporate has very little actual connectivity to the troops and local units who actually run the program. What they have are District Coordinators; that job is a full-time job paying maybe 50k. The job of a DC is to fundraise. You see BSA corporate got fat on corporate donations. It requires a lot of money to pay bloated salaries at the Corporate level. https://www.glassdoor.com/Salary/Boy-Scouts-of-America-Salaries-E7807.htm?sort.sortType=BP&sort.ascending=false.Anyone who thinks the BSA is paying Bob Gates (left-wing insider, former CIA director, former Sec. Def.) 200k/year is out of their mind. Tag on camps, etc. and BSA has a very, very large organizational salary base. Even with the number of scouts they have paying $15/year to register is a drop in the bucket compared to what it costs to actually run the organization. This is where corporate donors come it. Local DC contact local companies for donations, the company gets a tax write-off, gets to spread it's good name, local units get supplies and goodies, DC get paid, etc. Well what happened in 2013ish when BSA allowed homosexuals in. Immediately prior large corporate donations to BSA started drying up, the DC's couldn't get money from Home Depot, UPS, etc. b/c BSA was "bigoted". So when the actual vote at the National BSA Convention came up, the DC directly voted for inclusion of homosexuals . . .why? Not b/c they thought it was good, but b/c they wanted their funding back and the only way to get it back from large corporations was to let them in. So regardless of the fact that probably at least 60-70% of the actual membership was against it, BSA did it anyway. Why? B/c they love money more than principles. Now that they have gone down this road, one of the major things that BSA provides is a legal umbrella framework; i.e. something goes wrong in one troop as long as the leaders were following BSA regulations, BSA will provide legal backstopping. Now to you think that BSA will want to provide legal backstopping to the LDS (which costs time, money, energy, etc.)? Why would they when they know that the registration fees don't pay for squat towards their bloated budgets. Are LDS members and businesses going to donate towards BSA? No they will only donate towards their local units, not to BSA corporate. So what is in it for BSA? Absolutely nothing. They would get the entire headache and hassle of maintaining two separate organizations and the LDS branch wouldn't contribute much to their actual bottom line. BSA doesn't care about membership numbers, they don't care about the Catholics leaving or about LDS leaving. They care about money.

GSA in general is a very leftist/socialistic organization. You've got to get with the program, social justice is for anyone who is not white or male or protestant. "Social Justice" is really about upending the entire society built by WASPs (white, anglo-saxon, protestant males) and transforming it into something else. "Social justice" is anti-white and anti-male and anti-Christian. It's unfortunate b/c we've had it so good for so long in this country we have actually forgotten what the rest of the world looks like (and in general it aint' too pretty). We will find out soon enough. Ce la via.

I was not commenting to make you or anyone else feel bad. I think there are a lot of good things in the thread and the article. My sincere apologies, I was attempting to disagree without being disagreeable. My fault if that did not happen.

No consistency is an attribute; how you implement consistency is a technique. In life, individuals who have an attribute of consistency are going to be better off than those who are not, another word is reliable, dependable, responsible. If a parent is in general a reliable person they will in general be reliable for their kids as in they "say what they mean and do what they say" . . . that's all consistency in raising kids means.

Yeap . . . welcome to liberal hell where everyone is "equal" and we can't have nice things. Stupid, stupid move by BSA, but I personally predicated this when the BSA let in homosexual leaders. Just wait, eventually the requirements for Eagle will be dumbed-down. 50 miler over 3 days for 15 year-old girls . . .lol. Philmont . . .lol. What a bunch of morons. Women are the physically weaker sex, it's biology, it's facts but the left lives in their own make-believe fantasy world. I've done things in BSA that were physically challenging and this for 14-16 year-old boys, in fact that was a significant portion of the program.14-16 year old boys and girls intermingled at a Scout Camp with leaders of different sexes. Hmm, how could that ever go wrong? My guess is that over time it will turn into a very, very wicked organization. If homosexuality in BSA didn't put the nail in the coffin of BSA this absolutely will. Oh it will still exist, but it will not do the same thing; which was to train and teach boys how to become men. It was originally designed as a precurser to being in the military. You just wait, this will also be used in some fashion to eventually promote pedaphilia. It is coming folks just give it time. Just change the word boy to "other men" and you'll see what this homosexual crowd has done to society. It destroyed BSA, just wait to see what else it destroys. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_American_Man/Boy_Love_Association NAMBLA's website states that it is a political, civil rights, and educational organization whose goal is to end "the extreme oppression of men and boys in mutually consensual relationships".[8] According to NAMBLA, some of the organization's positions are: Supporting and promoting man/boy relationships: the organization says that when consensual, these relationships are not harmful or amount to child sexual abuse. They cite a controversial paper by Rind et al.;[9] Age of consent reform: what NAMBLA describes as "empowerment of youth in all areas, not just the sexual";[8] Opposition to corporal punishment, kidnapping and rape.[10]

In today's world you are probably right: common sense: good sense and sound judgment in practical matters. Considering the changing mores and societal upheaval no one can even agree on what is sound judgement anymore; used to be you could-it was self-evident. Today, we have plenty of people denying reality and quite simply just making up theories in their heads about how the world works to justify any and every action; as soon as that theory gets into the collective hive mind anything against that made-up theory is not "sound judgement"

Exactly. Being a good parent requires one to become more of an adult and more like our Heavenly Father. You can't teach responsibility to a child if you yourself are not responsible. You can't teach patience to a child or selflessness to a child if you are not patient or selflessness. Being a parent is only "hard" in that it requires us to change to become more like God, to model Him and His ways more perfectly. That's why I say common sense and the Word of God. Raising the next generation is actually quite fun and thrilling. To think one is training and passing down values for the next generation . . .it's awesome, awe inspiring and fantastic. And it's one of the main ways that God uses to teach us (who are in essence children) how to become more like Him. It's why raising children is actually very, very important to our growth as individuals and our spiritual growth as Children of God. It's why Satan does so much to destroy the family; he does it as much to destroy future generations as to destroy the current generation. While certainly there are those who for whatever reason cannot have children, having children, raising them is a critical part of God's plan to help us grow and become more like Him individually. I honestly feel sad and disheartened at those who actively choose not to have children . ..they are damning their own spiritual progress. I'm confident that God will ensure those who couldn't, through no fault of their own, raise children have the opportunity to learn those lessons. I'm less confident that those who choose not to or who actively damn their own spiritual progress will be given as much latitude.

Does it really matter if it's cliche if it's true?? Empirical evidence demonstrates as a fact that children today are less obedient, more disrespectful have more mental health problems, are more atheistic, less God fearing than any other modern generation. Saying that "every generation has complained about the ones that follow them" is quite simply just intellectually lazy for not taking the time to study the situation and recognize that yes today's younger generation of children have some serious, serious problems. Oddly enough no one seems to grasp the fact that at some point one has to take ownership of their own life and stop blaming others for their problems regardless of how they were raised.

I understand, I've heard plenty of people say that before and in the past I've said it myself . .. but it's not hard. When it was hard, I wasn't using common sense nor the Word of God; I was overthinking the problem thinking there was some "magical" key or technique or tactic or tools. But there isn't, parenting is about attitude, perspective and long-term goals. Something the last generation knew a good bit about but this generation knows very little about. What is hard is staying married. People who say raising kids is hard and marriage is easy, either don't know what it's like to have both or are focusing on the wrong problem.

You heard wrong :-). Raising kids is all about teaching and training individuals to be responsible, hard-working, God fearing individuals. The first thing one needs is a good vision of what they want their kids to be when they are out of the house (in general terms). Then everything else that you do and say when it comes to children revolves around shaping and molding to that future. The actual works of how to do that are found using Common Sense and the Good Book. If more people did those rather than relied on "experts" the world would be a better place. People have been raising the next generation for literally thousands of years, to think one in today's society needs an "expert" to tell you how to do it means we as a society are seriously overthinking the situation.

Not so. Parenting is simple and relatively easy. You only need two things. Common Sense and The Word of God. People who have kids and think it's challenging and complex are thinking way, way too much about it. I think all these new fanged ideas and fads actually do more to hurt raising kids than help.