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Okay. Tried to update a bit of what I was typing earlier. I went visiting people with the missionaries and had a chance after to sit back down and review my post.

Hi! Hmm. Let me see. No. The spirit part of the body. Soul = Body + Spirit (United)

Totally can understand needing some room outside of callings

Having had to deal with toxic people pretty much my entire life, I just walk away if I truly can't stand a person. If it is causing me so much stress and anguish I will just take my sacrament and go (if at church) Especially if it is just a personality thing. Sometimes there really isn't anything you can say or do that will make things better. Sometimes you just drive on and keep dealing with it also. When I reach my limit, I reach my limit. I would rather take my chances with God than with a toxic leader. Also after my breather I pick right back up and get going again. Being offended and bitter can also be just as detrimental. Need to find a happy balance and know your limits. Some personalities you can just take in small doses. It is part of being mortal.

That's unfortunate. Time for them to go to another agency to get Ukranian Foster kids. I don't know if I could raise another person's kids...*side note. I borrowed my friend's son for a few days while they traveled (I have only daughters) I was ready to drop kick him to the moon after a few days. Mainly because he would crap his pants and roast in it for a bit before letting Queen change him... Also, I think the main heartbreak would be the day the angry words slipped out of their mouths "You aren't my real Dad!" I am not sure I could handle it. Not right now at least.

It is very hard to be a single Mom period. Especially a becoming a widow. She will gain the strength she needs to keep the promise she made to her husband, even more now that we know about it and can pray too. I am fairly certain the missionaries did the best they could. They aren't allowed to take children to church in their vehicles let alone on the back of their bikes.

This is a false statement overall. The majority of missionaries DO love their investigators and if you served a mission you would know that 24 hours in a day goes by SO fast. They are servants of the Lord and they go where he directs them. They are charged with gathering the Elect and inviting them to come unto Christ and they will NOT force them to. Part of coming unto Christ is attending church. I am sorry you cannot see this. I don't know the missionaries that visited these children but the fact that they did go to them and invited them is a HUGE step. These children will remember those missionaries. The Lord will and has blessed the missionaries that served this family. They had the courage to go, they put everything else in their lives on hold. @Star Attending church is a huge step in feeling and knowing the Gospel is true. Meet the Bishop, meet the Primary Presidency and Relief Society President. They will be happy to answer your questions and you will feel first hand the Love that not only missionaries BUT all true saints have for each other. It may be hard for you to go BUT pray, pray with all your heart that you can have the courage to step inside the church. That first step will be huge in conquering other fears or worries.

Ah, ok. well there is a certain curriculum they have to teach. The missionaries have limited authority in the church and abide by strict mission rules (As I outlined above briefly) Once they finish teaching the curriculum to the person, regardless of age, then the person can get extended learning by going to church. Usually the investigator will commit to membership and the native area church members (members living in your area) will take over the fellowship and "extended teaching". I can assure you it is not personal that they stopped coming. There are A LOT of people they are teaching and as mentioned before they report on how they are using their time. It very well may be their mission leaders asked them to concentrate on other people who are committing to church attendance and progression. I wish I had a more desirable reply. I hope you can work up the courage to visit church again with your kids. In the meantime we can help answer questions you have

What exactly did you tell them on the phone about what you wanted? If you don't mind sharing

Hi! It is especially important to have adult support for child baptisms. It is frowned upon to baptize a child without their parents. Although if a child does attend all meetings and the parents approve of the baptism and regular Sunday attendance, then the missionaries will baptize them. Only one of your children fit the AGE requirement for baptism but the other is encouraged to attend church as well. 8 years old and above is baptism age. Earlier is unnecessary as 7 yrs and below are innocent before God. The key is your 9 year old going to church on Sundays. A person who likes the missionary visits but doesn't show progress toward baptism has to be cleared from a spot for those who are progressing. No matter how much a missionary wants to PERSONALLY visit someone there has to be a reason linked to their assignment, which in your 9 years old's case would be regular church attendance to help him enter into the waters of Baptism. I am sure the missionaries are sad they have to fill that time slot with another investigator. Every person they meet is indeed special and unique.

Nice! I am so proud of him too. It really was worth all the hard work, I am sure he will feel the same way. Thank you for supporting him

Mormon missionaries and even missionaries of other faiths have to show progression with an interested party. "Investigators" or people interested in baptism have to fit a certain criteria for baptism. The Elders report back to their area leaders on EVERY person they are teaching. In order for missionaries to justify visits to people they have to be progressing toward coming to Christ. This includes living all the laws of God which includes church participation. Once these requirements are met then missionaries can baptize you. After baptisms missionaries are allowed to visit recent converts but the bulk of that duty is on the members. Since missionaries have 24 months (males) and 18 months (for sisters, I think) they try to get as many new members possible before having to go back home. Parents can facilitate this by helping their children go to church and or finding a responsible adult willing to take them and accompany them. It simply is a matter of progression and time for the Elders

Lol

Welcome KS, Glad you decided to come back. You sound like you are carrying a heavy burden. Glad you were able to unload some of it with us. I am sure the Lord is very happy you are coming back. I am excited to hear you are willing to start making the transition back to full fellowship. I would say just jump right back in. Attend meetings and be friendly. Seek out the ward secretary to make an appointment with Bishop and tell him exactly what you told us. Tell him: this is what happened, this is how long you've been gone, etc... He will help you make a full and worthy repentance to becoming clean and mostly burden free again (I say mostly because life is just stressful by itself, in my opinion) I think the hardest part of this will be YOU forgiving YOURSELF. Don't let it get you down. You learned from whatever it was you went through. Remember it took two to tango, so don't blame just yourself for your previous marriage ending. It's in the past, just take what you learned from it and if you want, start over again. There is definitely a time to heal and I think you have been doing just that. No is perfect, don't let anyone try to convince you they have a perfect life or marriage. Some may come close but the majority of us have our own daily struggles. Just remember though, that all of us have the responsibility to make things right when we sin. It sounds like you are doing just that I hope that you feel better soon and that you take a fresh start with a new perspective on life. I am glad you are here with us

I think it comes in waves. You'll be super energetic and alive then something bad will happen. I ran into a mainstream christian woman at a natural foods store. She was feeling so righteous, full of the power Jesus. She was on "cloud nine" according to her. Anyway, she gave me her two cents and of course I listened, being complete strangers I just let her do her thing. It was nice but I am pretty sure her gold fish died a few days later to knock her off of her "cloud". A lot about mortality sucks. Like, I'm not even joking but a lot of it is good. I can only imagine how crappy a 31-45 yr old feels having to go to bed alone EVERYNIGHT. I can only imagine being divorced and with kids :C So, I can totally see how some of the brethren can be hating life. Happiness is possible but I don't expect everyone to always be perky and "alive".Especially if personal growth, family, work and church can start to take a toll. If someone says the are ALWAYS HAPPY OR AT PEACE I'll just walk away from them. I remember reading a man's account of attending a seminar of sorts where this other man was teaching about peace and self control. He claimed to have mastered these two attributes. So the author walked up with a cup of water he had and threw it in the teacher's face. Well, the self control master became very irate and lost composure. Anyway, I hope your lesson goes well and shows some positive results

Edit edit

Such a nice Friday. I hope everyone else has had a good or decent one as well. I am about to start reading The Book of Mormon again from the beginning. Guys, among all my crappy shortcomings is dreading reading the scriptures over and over again. I invest myself too deep at times Lol. I feel the pain of the people as if it is still present (just one example) I feel my own pain too and frustrations. Like how the Book of Mormon is full of the accounts of secret combinations. How these gangs almost wiped out the nephites and how they caused the Jaredites to crumble. Even in the Bible... I don't know... the whole account of King David. How he was the apple of the Lord's eye and he fell from exaltation. Oh my heart bleeds during that story. So many emotions from seeing David working so hard, being brave, rising like a burning Sun. Then becoming King rising late in the day, avoiding war, lusting after AND taking his servant's wife.. my heart breaks when Uriah, not even an israelite but by marriage lives among them, arrives to king David and refuses to go home when the king orders him. He expresses to the king that he doesn't feel right enjoying the comforts of home when his new kinsmen are at war. He sleeps in the barracks instead. What a man! What a true brother! Then the king sends him to the front line on purpose so he dies. orders them to attack a city wall. Which causes the death of Uriah and several warriors including an officer of high rank. I feel the pains of hell and the could have been. My burning Sun, my inspirational brother... sigh. He not only loses exaltation but pays dearly with the death of a new born babe, death of a rebellious handsome son and the defilement of his concubines. Ugh... But there is also the good. It is hard to see sometimes. The world we live in is very evil. We live in the world that would kill the Savior. We live in a world where murder is rampant and immorality has spread and is festering like an infection. I just have to remember that it is all just a test. Everything taken away, lost or missed out on (that is righteous) will be given to us on the end IF/when we remain faithful and loving to our last mortal breath. When I say loving I don't mean weak or passive. Some saints have dispositions for sweet gentle love, others have tough loyal love. Many more personalities too. Anyway, lots of reading to do.

I am still thinking about adding a post marriage post but it is so individualistic. I suppose I can just do a basics on planning for the future and building a stable present. Like bare bones basics. Queen and I started out very simple and ended up with quite a bit of excess at one point. In the future I can feel a lot more coming due to me committing fully to the Church but I don't want to have it consume us. I can honestly say that while we were living more simple I was actually more happy. I can't speak for Queen but it was neat doing things by hand and making meals with more raw ingredients. Having more "stuff" has been nice BUT there is something missing from the quiet during my days off. I would wake up in the morning and lay in bed and hear the birds singing, even without open windows. Now I hear humming almost 24/7, machines churning and doing their thing. Lots to think about

Me neither ummm... I disagree. Coke and non gambling card games are not the same as permanently defiling your body with a tattoo Good point bringing this up. I really don't know why they aren't Good for you I really have no idea what you mean about this. Christ was constantly teaching. I talk about others if I am planning to help or intervene (legally and ethically of course) That sucks. The more I look the more I realize there are some pretty crappy people on earth. It helps me be even more grateful for the angels and true saints that I meet. Do I stop serving those who are lost because of ignorance? Nope. I do have less tolerance for willful rebellious though. They are the worst IMO, they take and do without feeling guilt or remorse. *Although, If a willful rebellious says they are sinning and know they are sinning and don't try to act like they aren't then I actually do feel more love toward them. Sometimes people are struggling. Their demons seem to have a strangle hold on them. I completely understand how we ALL get knocked repeatedly ,AT TIMES, in certain areas we are working on. The key is to keep working at it and improving. Tackling the sin head on with the help of The Lord, our leaders, family and doing the gospel basics to build back our foundations.

I think having short hair only applies to temple workers and missionaries. Rock the long hair and beard. I think the rule came about during the 60s where the rebellious hippies were all about the long hair and beard, so the church made it a standard to be clean shaven and have short hair. I believe it was later only kept for those serving in official church capacities like temple and mission field.

Get your nasty sugar cookie outta my face!

:C I did this one time as preventative measures and spam calls began the day after. It almost seems like someone took the list and started calling the numbers.

That is so cool she did that.

Should have just smiled and said excitedly " In a few months! How about you? When is your bundle of joy due?" However, I think you made the best decision. Very graceful of you.